Chapter 3 #2
Was that what I was really doing? Leaving the country to escape my problems, to avoid facing Johnathan, Ryan, and my mother?
I leaned back against the headboard, my fingers hovering over the keyboard.
The idea of starting over somewhere far away sounded appealing, but the more I thought about it, the more it felt like surrender.
If I left, it would mean they’d won. They’d all get to move on without me in their way, free to rewrite the narrative however they wanted.
And what would I be? The girl who couldn’t handle her problems and ran off to the other side of the world to lick her wounds in silence.
A sharp knock at the door pulled me out of my thoughts.
“Elliot?” My mother’s voice rang out from the other side.
What the hell?
I closed my laptop and stood, already bracing myself as I pulled open the door. She stood there, purse on her shoulder, eyes scanning me like she was already preparing a critique.
“Ma?” I frowned. “What are you doing here?”
“Haven’t you been getting my messages?”
So she was the one making my phone vibrate. “No, I haven’t looked at my phone.”
She sighed, shaking her head. “Of course not. Well, I’m taking you to lunch, so hurry up and put on something presentable.” Her gaze flicked over my oversized t-shirt and sleep shorts. “And clean.”
I exhaled slowly. So much for a quiet afternoon.
?
“The Mitchells are quite upset you decided to cancel the wedding,” my mother said as she arranged her napkin in her lap. I stared at her from across the table, my hands tightening around the menu. I hadn’t even had a chance to order yet, and already, I regretted agreeing to this.
“Well, their son cheated on me, so I’d say we’re both disappointed,” I replied flatly. Her lips thinned into a hard line, the same look she used to give me as a teenager when I forgot to clean my room.
“You don’t have to be so difficult about it. We all know this is a complicated situation.”
“Complicated?” I repeated.
What a simple way to boil all of my issues down into an adjective.
“Is that what we’re calling this? I think my sister and ex messing around is a little bit more than just complicated.”
She gasped dramatically, glancing around the venue as if someone nearby might overhear us. Her voice dropped to a sharp whisper. “Christ, Elliot. Keep your voice down, will you? These people don’t need to know your business.”
My gaze drifted around the room, and as I predicted, not a soul paid us any mind.
They were all wrapped up in their own conversations or waiting patiently for their meals.
Waiters floated between tables while balancing trays of plated meals and extravagant drinks.
The air smelled of rosemary and seared meat, but the heavy scent only turned my stomach.
Or maybe it was the conversation she was about to force on me.
Either way, I hated this already.
“You brought it up,” I muttered, focusing on the menu rather than her withering stare.
She huffed, smoothing an invisible wrinkle from her blouse. “Yes, because I thought we could have a sensible discussion about this. There’s no need to bitch and moan, or air out the family’s dirty laundry.”
The sharp edge in her voice struck a nerve. I fought the urge to slam the menu on the table, instead setting it down with deliberate care.
“Ma, I’m not here to dive into the train wreck that has been my life for the past month. Frankly, I’m tired of thinking about it. I just want to enjoy this meal without the constant reminder of the two people I trusted most betraying me.”
Her lips thinned into a grim line. “Then let’s not rehash the same thing over and over. Jonathan made a mistake. And Ryan—well, she’s young and impulsive. You’ve always been the sensible one, Elliot. I thought you’d understand that.”
I blinked at her.
Huh.
Funnily enough, when I agreed to this lunch date with my mother, I expected some level of defense for this situation. I mean, she was Ryan’s mother too after all, but blind loyalty only enabled bad behavior.
How long before Ryan hurt someone else? I was her sister, and she had no problem betraying me. Who was next in her possible line of fire?
“Are you serious right now?” I demanded.
“Of course, I’m serious,” she said, her tone weary, the same patronizing one she’d used on me since childhood. “You’ve been holed up for weeks now, wallowing in this, instead of dealing with it. That’s not like you, Elliot.”
The words stung more than they should have, but I didn’t let it show.
“There’s nothing to deal with, Ma. The engagement is off, and I don’t want anything to do with Jonathan or Ryan right now.”
Her eyebrows shot up, disapproval flickering across her face. “So you’re just going to throw away eight years with Jonathan over one mistake? And what about Ryan? She’s your sister, Elliot.”
I massaged my temples, feeling this conversation already giving me a headache. “I said I don’t want to talk about this, Ma.”
“Well, I want to talk about it,” she said firmly, making me sit up straight. “I will not be put in the middle of this senseless divide.”
“No one is putting you in anything, and no one is making you choose sides,” I clarified, my voice steady. “Honestly, this has nothing to do with you.”
“It has everything to do with me when I have to deal with Ryan screaming around the house all damn day. You are the more reasonable one, Elliot. Stop avoiding the situation and face it head-on like your father and I taught you.”
The mention of my father made my throat tighten. I reached for my water glass, masking the ache in my chest. “I’m not avoiding anything. I just need time to figure out what’s next for me.”
“Well, that’s exactly what I wanted to talk about,” she said, her tone softening into that falsely sweet tone that always put me on edge. “What are your plans for the money?”
I rolled my eyes. “Not sure yet. Why?”
“Check the attitude, young lady.” She fixed me with a cold stare. “I’m just checking to see if you’re making the right decision. It’s a lot of money to play with.”
That was a lie. She wanted to be involved in my decision-making for the money. Still, I answered honestly: “I’m not playing with anything. I’m working out the best option for me, whether that be taking it and investing in my own life or using it to start over.”
She waved her hand like she was fanning my ridiculous ideas away. “Starting over? That’s not what you need right now, Elliot. You need to sit down with Jonathan and Ryan and discuss things like adults. That’s the only way to move forward.”
I set my glass down carefully. As expected, she completely disregarded what I said about my own needs. Her focus was reconciling, and she was happy to sacrifice my comfort for the sake of her own.
“Talking isn’t going to change anything,” I pressed. “Not with them alone, anyway. Maybe we could get more help talking to a professional.”
She waved a dismissive hand again. “You’re being dramatic. This is not a matter for other people; it should be fixed within the family.”
“Fixed?” I repeated, laughing bitterly. “The word you’re looking for is ignored, Ma. You want me to pretend nothing happened, so everyone else can stay comfortable and we can look happy. That’s not the same thing.”
That made her sit up, letting me know there was some truth to what I said. It didn’t matter though, because Katherine Sawyer was not going to let her child call her out on her hypocrisy.
“No, I’m trying to get you through this with your dignity intact.”
I narrowed my eyes at her false savior complex. “I think you’re worried about the wrong daughter,” I stated flatly.
“Now you’re just being spiteful,” she said, her expression hardening. “I raised you better than that.”
I clenched my fists under the table, forcing myself to take a steadying breath. “Can we talk about something else? Please? Anything but this.”
“Fine.” She gave me a tight smile, the kind that wasn’t really a smile at all. “What have you been up to these last few days, then?”
I hesitated, unsure if I even wanted to share, but eventually, I said, “I’ve been looking into beauty schools.”
Her brows lifted in mild surprise. “Beauty school? That’s what you want to do with your father’s hard-earned money?”
My jaw tightened. “Daddy said to take the money and do something for myself,” I repeated his words in case she forgot.
“And you decide on that?” She asked in a very degrading tone. “Since when are you into beauty schools, anyway?”
“It’s a new interest.”
“New interest, huh?” she repeated as though the idea bored her. “Well, have you found anything?”
“Yes,” I said, straightening in my chair. “There’s a program in Thailand that looks incredible. It’s one of the best in the world, and I’m thinking about applying.”
“Thailand?” she said sharply. “Elliot, you can’t be serious. That’s halfway around the world.”
“That’s kind of the point,” I said, meeting her gaze evenly. “The distance has been holding me back, but I really think I need to start fresh, away from all of this.”
Especially after this conversation, maybe Thailand wasn’t far enough.
“Running away won’t solve your problems, Elliot. If anything, it makes you look weak,” she spat with frustration.
Her words stung, though they weren’t new. They echoed the same doubts I had myself.
“I’m not running away,” I said firmly. “I’m trying to rebuild my life.”
She leaned forward slightly. “Rebuilding your life doesn’t mean abandoning your family. It doesn’t mean hiding on the other side of the world because you’re too scared to face what’s in front of you.”
“I’m not scared,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Then prove it,” she challenged, sitting back and folding her arms.
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t have to prove anything.”
“For God’s sake, Elliot.” She whisper-yelled. The disappointment was so evident in her voice that I was ready to crawl up under the table. “Why are you being so stubborn about this?”