Chapter 25 Release
Release.
I had been avoiding Elliot all day.
Ignored his calls.
Left his texts on read.
I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with him—not with this hangover clinging to me. Not after Hope’s outburst. And especially not after he took my flask. Damn him for that.
My head pounded with every step I took, my mouth was dry no matter how much water I drank, and the dull ache in my limbs made it feel like I’d been hit by a truck.
Instead of going to El’s place like I said I would, I went straight home, craving nothing but my bed and absolute silence. But as soon as I stepped inside, the scent of garlic and butter filled the air, making my stomach churn and wrapping around me like a warm hug I wasn’t in the mood to receive.
Esther was in the kitchen, standing over the stove, her phone propped up on the counter, playing music at a low volume. When I packed up after my last client, she and the others were long gone. To be fair, it was well past closing.
Her hair was sitting lopsided on her head like she had thrown it up without a second thought. She was wearing one of my oversized T-shirts, the fabric hanging loosely off one shoulder, revealing smooth skin and the strap of her sports bra.
She turned when she heard me come in, a wooden spoon in one hand, the other perched on her hip.
“Oh! You’re home.”
Aggressively, I set my bag down by the couch. “Yes. I am. Is that a problem?”
Esther raised a perfectly arched brow as she studied me. “What’s with the attitude, miss?”
I dropped onto one of the stools at the kitchen island, pressing my fingers to my temples, massaging lightly. “It’s just been a long day.”
She tilted her head, giving me another once-over before wrinkling her nose. “I can tell, you look dreadful.”
I scowled. “Thanks.”
“I’m serious, E.” She went into the fridge and handed me a bottle of water before turning back to the stove and giving the pan another shake. “You’re all pale and shit. What happened to you? Was it something Hope said?”
I cracked open the water, chugging a few gulps before answering. “No. I’m just tired. Last night drained me.”
Esther’s eyes lit up instantly, the way they always did when she sensed drama. “Ooooh. What happened? You and El finally fucked?”
I choked on my water violently. “No!”
“Oh. That’s why you’re on edge,” she mumbled.
“Esther. Please.” The thought of this morning had tried to crawl its way into my brain. “Do we have any wine?”
“Check the fridge’s bottom shelf,” she instructed without looking back at me. I got up and did just that. Thankfully, two chilled bottles sat there, waiting for me. I’ll start the dry month tomorrow.
I took two wine glasses out of the cabinet, poured mine first, and swallowed a long sip before continuing. “Hope’s pissed El said no.”
“I don’t know what her problem is! The man isn’t interested. Get over it.”
I nodded and poured both glasses this time. “I don’t even think she likes him. The whole thing is weird.”
“No, she’s weird. She wants El because he wants you. The girl wants to be you.”
I exhaled harshly at that statement, my headache returning from all the drama.
Downing my second glass, I breathed out. “I’m gonna go shower.”
I didn’t wait for Esther’s response.
Upstairs, I peeled off my clothes and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water pound against my sore muscles. I closed my eyes, inhaling the steam, trying to let it wash away the tension knotting in my shoulders. But my mind wouldn’t shut off.
I missed El. I missed his arms around me, I miss telling him about my day. I scrubbed at my skin a little harder as if that would help.
By the time I got out, I felt somewhat lighter, though that was probably just the exhaustion and wine setting in.
I changed into a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top before heading back downstairs.
Esther had already plated our food, setting the table while dancing along to the music from her phone.
The scent of the food she had cooked filled the room—garlic butter shrimp with rice and roasted vegetables. My stomach rumbled in appreciation.
“I didn’t make a lot because I didn’t know you’d come home,” she explained as I sat down. My stomach was still a little on edge because of the fading hangover, so a smaller portion was probably for the best.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, digging in. We ate in comfortable silence and just as I was starting to relax, my phone buzzed on the table.
Elliot.
I debated ignoring it, but with a sigh, I picked up.
“It’s ten o’clock,” he said as soon as I answered. “You’re usually here at eight.”
I rolled a piece of shrimp around my plate, keeping my tone casual. “I know. I needed space, so I came home.”
The silence on the other end was deafening. I almost thought he hung up.
“Why didn’t you say something?”
My eyebrows furrowed together like he could see me. “I didn’t think I needed too.”
“Seriously, Ellie? That’s how we’re acting now?”
My grip tightened on my fork. “What do you expect from me?”
“I don’t know,” he snapped. “Maybe some maturity about the situation.”
My spine straightened. “Well, maybe you should’ve chosen someone in your age group if you’re expecting a certain level of maturity.”
“It’s like that?” His voice was lower now, a dangerous edge creeping in.
“Yeah,” I said evenly. “It’s like that.”
“Okay. Bet.”
Then the call ended.
I stared at my phone, stunned, the silence ringing in my ears.
Esther casually took a sip of her wine, watching me over the rim of her glass. “Not you and your man fighting.”
I shot her a glare.
“He’s not my—” I stopped myself, exhaling sharply. “You know what? Forget it.”
I pushed back from the table, grabbed my plate, and dumped it in the sink.
“I’m going to bed,” I announced, my voice clipped. Esther didn’t bother stopping me.
I climbed into bed, curling up under the covers, waiting for sleep to take me. But it didn’t. No matter how much I tossed and turned, I couldn’t settle. Something was missing.
I groaned into my pillow, frustrated with myself. This was stupid. I didn’t need him to sleep.
And yet—
With a sigh, I got up and dug through my laundry hamper, pulling out one of Elliot’s worn T-shirts. I hesitated for a second before slipping it on. It smelled like him.
I sank back into bed, inhaling deeply. It wasn’t the same as having him next to me, but for now, it would have to do.
Just as I was drifting off, the doorbell rang.
I groaned, peeling my eyes open, disoriented. The room was dark except for the glow of my phone on the nightstand. 11:07 PM. Who the hell—
The doorbell rang again.
I forced myself up, shuffling out of bed and down the stairs. Peering through the peephole, I sighed. With a shaky hand, I unlocked the door and swung it open.
Neither of us spoke. He just stood there, beautiful ocean eyes tired but steady on me. I drank him in heavy. He wore his usual weird tee, sweats, socks and some Nike slides. The soft moonlight enhanced his handsome features and made his crucifix glisten.
I stepped aside to let him in, and he walked in cautiously. We kept eyes on each other, almost as if having a conversation, as I closed the door behind him.
Still silent, I turned away, leading him upstairs.
Halfway up, Esther’s voice called out sleepily, “Ellie? Who was at the—”
She stopped when she saw him, her tired gaze jumping between us.
I rubbed my own eyes, ready to return to my bed. “It’s just Elliot, Es. Go back to sleep.”
“Sorry I woke you, Esther,” Elliot offered.
Esther didn’t reply. She just hummed then turned back into her room, closing the door softly behind her. There will be a debrief between us tomorrow, for sure.
I continued up the stairs, with Elliot following without a word.
Inside my room, I crawled back into bed. He did the same, settling onto his stomach and hugging the pillows beneath him as he stared at me. I avoided his gaze, my fingers picking at the quilt, but his heavy stare was almost suffocating.
I swallowed. “I’m sorry about this morning. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I’m sorry for my behavior today as a whole, actually.”
I waited for him to respond, but there was more silence. Still, I pressed on.
“It’s just—I didn’t want to be babied,” I admitted, forcing the words out. “I know what I want—”
“I love you.”
My breath caught, and my eyes finally shot up to meet his gaze.
He wasn’t tense or nervous. He didn’t look like a man making a confession that had been weighing on him. He looked… at ease. Like he was telling me something as simple as the weather. It came easily to him.
“What?” I choked out.
“I’m in love with you.”
My heart pounded. “El—”
“I’m sure you knew that for a while,” he continued, his voice steady. “And even though this morning was difficult, I don’t regret it. I don’t regret anything when it comes to you.”
He got closer to me.
“I don’t regret letting you please yourself on me,” he said bluntly, eyes locked onto mine.
I bit the inside of my cheek to stop the blushing, but he wasn’t done.
“I don’t regret crashing that stupid-ass double date.
I don’t regret sleeping in your bed every night.
I don’t even regret drinking your coffee that morning. ”
I sucked in a shaky breath as he went on.
“And I definitely don’t regret saying this now. I’m in love with you, Elliot.”
I didn’t realize I was staring until he leaned down, pressing a slow, deliberate kiss to my forehead. Then, my cheek. And finally, my lips.
“Say something,” he murmured against my mouth.
I exhaled shakily. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
You.
“I’m scared,” I admitted.
He stilled for a moment. “Tell me it isn’t because of my health.”
“No,” I said quickly.
“Are you scared my illness will be an issue for us?”
“No, Elliot,” I said again, firmer this time.
His lips brushed over my neck. “Then what are you scared of, Ellie?”
I shifted uncomfortably. “You were right this morning. My body isn’t ready for things to go further.”