Chapter 21
21
Drew
I can’t blame the alcohol.
I’d only had one drink. That’s my professional limit when I’m with colleagues. Clients are different. When they’re trusting you with their money, they want to know you can hold your liquor. How one equals the other has never made sense, but I didn’t make the rules. I just have to play by them.
Play . . .
Is that what Juni and I are doing? Playing? It’s a game we’ll lose if we’re not careful. But caution was left at the bar along with my code of ethics.
Being a man is no excuse for wanting her the way I do, but I’m not alone in my thinking. I’ve seen the way she gets jealous. Michelle about had Juni blowing steam out her ears. That was good for my ego and a turn-on, but it’s been silent in the back of the car, leaving me to second-guess myself.
I shouldn’t be doing this. Sleeping with my receptionist is not only a cliché but could also end badly. I need to drop her off and go home alone.
The neon signs from outside pass in a flash, leaving shadows in their wake. We stop at a light, and I look over at her. “Juni?”
“Drew?”
We speak at the same time. Laughing, we both reply, “Yes?” in unison.
“Jinx,” I add, which makes her smile. “You go first.”
As I work through her body language, she appears to be relaxed. There’s no tension found in her shoulders or anywhere else, but then she asks, “Are we doing the right thing?”
“I was just wondering the same.” I reach over and take her hand. “I don’t want to mess up our friendship. I enjoy our late-night adventures and seeing you at work. If we do anything, that would all change.”
“That’s what I was thinking.”
“I promise you it’s not from lack of attraction or wanting to be with you sexually.”
Her fingers wrap around mine, holding tight to my hand. “That’s just it. I feel the same. Doesn’t that mean it’s already too late?”
“That’s a fair point.” I’m not sure what else to say.
But she does. Leaning forward, she tells my driver, “Mr. Christiansen’s place, please.”
My driver knows what this is but doesn’t judge from the comfort of the driver’s seat. He replies, “Yes, ma’am,” but his eyes never leave the street ahead. It’s a first for me having company come home as much as it is for him to witness it.
She sits back again. This time, a little closer. I’m not sure if it’s on purpose, but I’m not going to complain. The car pulls to the curb, and Gil runs out. He opens the door and says, “Welcome home, Andrew.”
I slide out and then bend back to help Juni. Gil’s reaction is strange when he sees her, words escaping him. So her feelings aren’t hurt, I say, “Gil, this is Juni,” hoping he’ll show her the same courtesy he always shows me.
“Uh . . .”
Juni smiles, and though it seems a little tighter than usual, she’s still so beautiful. “Hi, Gil.”
“Hello,” he replies, curt in a way I’ve not heard him before. His departure is just as abrupt.
I glance at her, and quietly say, “He’s usually friendlier.”
“He was perfectly cordial. What do you expect? A lifelong support system? Someone who will lie for you even if they promised their mom on her deathbed not to? How can you possibly expect a man to have your favorite donut on hand just in case you had a bad day or need a sugar pick-me-up?” She releases my hand as if that will win her a point and then raises her voice. “Geez, Andrew. Give the man a break. That’s a lot of responsibility to put on the shoulders of the doorman.”
I force myself to blink because I can’t make any sense out of how this turned into an argument between us. “I don’t expect anything of him,” I reply like I have to explain I’m not a total asshole to Gil. “Just opening the door is great. But if I’m being honest, I don’t need someone to open a door for me. I know having a doorman is a thing to brag about in Manhattan, but I’m perfectly capable.”
I’m poked in the chest, and then she wags her finger at me. “Well, keep that to yourself, mister, or you might risk his job, and he has a family to support.”
“What? I’m—I, uh. I’m not reporting him.” I spy Gil out of the corners of my eyes, and now I’m thinking about his life outside this building, and his daughter, Izzy, his wife, and the girl he considers his daughter. He gives us privacy, keeping his gaze aimed straight down the avenue. More importantly, how did I manage to upset her? I’m beginning to think we’re not going to make it upstairs.
Remembering a time when my dad sat Nick and me down for a heart-to-heart, I didn’t understand what he meant back then. Now I do and say the one thing he told us to say if a woman is ever mad at us. “I’m sorry.” It doesn’t matter what we did or didn’t do. Take the blame, pay the price, but always apologize.
Juni drags her hand down the side of her hair, taming flyaway strands, but the puzzled expression aimed at me is unmistakable—narrowed eyes and pushed-together brows form a little line in the middle. “Why are you sorry?”
“For upsetting you.”
“I’m not upset.” The scowl on her face tells me otherwise.
Scratching my head, I stand there watching her walk toward the door. I’m so lost that I don’t think I can get this train back on track when it comes to her, but I’ll make the effort and follow her.
Juni and Gil are whispering when I approach. Gil clears his throat and holds the door open wider for us to enter. They’re both acting weird.
Once inside, we head for the elevators as Gil sits down behind the desk. He turns up the volume on what sounds like a Dodgers game. Names of some of the hometown players are called out and up to bat. I ask, “Who’s winning?”
His gaze stretches across the lobby, and he eyes Juni. “Apparently, not me.”
“Huh?” I’ve never seen him like this. He’s usually so happy-go-lucky, but I guess we all have our off days. Fortunately, the button has been pushed to call the elevator because this is getting uncomfortable.
“It’s not looking good for the Dodgers,” he replies after a delay, glancing down at the screen propped on his desk.
Trying to lighten the mood, I laugh. I’m a terrible actor, but I stick with it. “No surprise. They’re always the underdog. Makes it more exciting to root for them.”
The elevator door opens, and just before Juni steps inside, she looks back at Gil, who’s ripping a bite of a pink donut off like a bear ripping its prey apart. The door closes, and she says, “He seems nice.”
He seemed out of character to me, but Gil is not who I want to be thinking about right now. Wanting to forget about whatever that was and focus on more interesting riddles to unravel, I slide my arm around her middle. Unlike in the elevator at work, I don’t have to hide how she turns me on this time. Rubbing my thumb along the curve of her waist, I ask, “How are you feeling?”
“Good.”
Still not sounding like herself, I press for more, “Is something wrong?” Dipping my head down, I nuzzle the top of her head. Closing my eyes, I take in the feel of her. This is the closest we’ve ever been, and right now, I don’t want to think about anything other than kissing her as soon as we reach the apartment. Though her smelling of flowers on a spring day has me tempted to do it now. I lower my gaze until I meet hers. “Good is unlike the great Juni Jacobs I know.”
Her gentle laughter rattles her shoulders, and she angles my way, bringing us closer. “I’m great because I’m with you.” Her hand runs along my lower back, and she asks, “How are you?”
Nervous.
Excited.
Not knowing what comes next.
I’m always in control of every aspect of my life, so I’m not used to letting things play out organically. Before I have time to collect my thoughts, she adds, “You’re from California. Aren’t you supposed to be more laid-back, all love and going with the flow?”
“Have we met?” I volley.
Her laughter erupts and entices me to cut myself some slack. I don’t have to be so serious all the time. My job is just that—my job. It’s time to show her who I really am. And as the laughter dies down, I note that it’s easier to breathe as I relax. My lungs feel like the vise has released them, and my shoulders are lighter.
I like Juni. I like her energy and enthusiasm, but I envy her freedom. I want a taste of that good life where I can be 100% me. And Juni’s the one I want beside me.
Alcohol isn’t controlling this night, so fuck timelines and old-fashioned dating conventions. I know her, and I want to be a part of her crazy schemes and late-night escapades. I want to get coffee on the way to work with her and sit together on the couch in the evenings talking about our day.
Is this premature? Maybe, but I’m willing to take the chance tonight to see where it leads me.
Taking her hand in mine, I spin her away and then bring her in again, keeping my arms wrapped around her this time. We’ve known each other a few weeks, so why have we been fighting our attraction? Holding her in my arms feels like this is how it should have always been. I’m not going as far as to say it’s kismet or destiny, but I’ll give fate a little nod of appreciation.
Although I know we’re most likely headed to bed, I want more than sex with this woman. I want to be her date because she wants me there, not just as a bargaining chip. Next time she has a function to attend, I want her to ask me because I’m her person. Nothing more to it.
I can only be so fucking lucky.
She asks, “Are you going to open the door?”
“Huh?” I look at the door in front of me, too lost in my thoughts as we walked. “Oh, yeah. Sorry. Caught up in my head.”
“You’re not having doubts, are you?”
Pinching her chin between my fingers, I’m so close to kissing her but don’t want to do it in this hallway. “I have no doubts.” I push open the door and lead her inside. As for the privacy of my apartment, I’m quick to cup her face, kicking the door closed behind me. I press her back to the door, this time, leaning down with my lips almost touching hers and her breath becoming mine on each exhale.
That black skirt she wore the other day comes to mind, the shoes she’s wearing now, the way her sweater reveals her curves, and those eyes looking hungrily into mine. Fuck, she’s doing me in.
Her hands cover mine, and I’m given the gift of seeing her eyes again, hazel in this light. We’re so close, but I just want to take her in. She whispers, “Are you going to kiss me?”
“I am. I just want to commit this to memory to add to my file.”
“What is that?”
“How gorgeous you are the first time I kissed you.” Just as she sighs sweetly, I close my eyes and press my lips to hers. Plush and accepting, her lips caress mine, and then they part for our tongues to meet.
We’d been good about keeping our distance in such a way that it was platonic, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want this. It’s because I didn’t allow myself the chance to give in, to follow a desire I’ve had since the moment we met.
The dance starts slow with our tongues and then works its way through our embrace. It’s the way her hands roam my back and her lips start to claim ownership that has me pressing my hips against her, needing to stake claims of my own.
She pushes me back, stealing enough space to slip away. Hurrying through the entry, she reaches the living room and spins to face me again. Like a siren, beckoning me to her, I cover the distance in three enormous steps, sweep her into my arms, and head toward the bedroom.
“Living room. Kitchen, and I can’t wait to show you the bedroom.” The tour is fast, but neither of us seems to care.
“Alrighty then.” Her laughter fills my ears as the dim light from the lamps welcoming me home shines like stardust in her eyes. She says, “Let the record show that you actually swept me off my feet the first time you called me babe.”
“You liked that, Babe ?” I kiss her lips.
“I do. I like being your babe.”
“I like being your Drew.”
She caresses my face, her smile growing. “I really like this friendship, especially if it comes with benefits.” When she bites that bottom lip, I kick off my shoe before I even set her on the bed.
“Oh yeah?” My gaze follows her every move. “What else do you like, babe?”
She stretches with her eyes fixed on mine. “I like you looking at me like I’m a steak, and you’re famished.”
I yank the tie from my neck. “So fucking famished.” I lean down and kiss her because fuck, if I don’t touch her in some way, I’ll blow my load just from looking at her. I lift and take a step back from the mattress, needing to slow things down and take care of her first.
But then she had to tease me with her foot. She rubs my hard dick, and then says, “You’re not going to leave me alone on this bed, are you?”
Her hair of golden and brown strands flows in waves across the dark blue blanket, the night covering her in moonlight. I thought I’d seen beauty in the sun setting on the water’s horizon, in the snowy peaks of the Swiss Alps, or feeling the rain cool me after a run through the city. That wasn’t beauty. That was a gift from nature.
This woman is stunning, like nothing in nature can compare.
Juniper Jacobs steals my time during the day, causing my nights to be jealous. Not tonight. “Tonight, you’re mine.” I lean over her, and whisper, “Only mine,” before kissing her again and pulling her into a deep embrace.
When our breaths are heavy, and our hands are frenzied to feel heated skin, she says, “That’s what I want to be, Drew. Yours .”