Chapter 16
16
Harrison
Catalina - Four and a half years ago . . .
I’m a bag of bones craving another hit— of her .
It’s more than attraction. Tatum’s quickly becoming an addiction. She wanted to shower, but I asked her to stay. There’s something earthy and sensual about giving our bodies to each other, losing control, and then lying in the aftermath of what we experienced together.
Leaning over, I kiss her back, both of her shoulder blades, and lick the space between and higher on her spine, leaving one last kiss on the back of her neck. Sweat and the salty air mixes, the taste an aphrodisiac. Our night has been more than I’ve ever had with anyone. I’m not even sure how we fit so much life into the last eight hours, but they’re the hours I’ll still be reminiscing about on my deathbed.
I drag my finger lightly over her skin, glistening in the moonlight, and then leave one more kiss because I’m not sure if I’ve kissed that spot already. “What if I want to call you?”
Tatum opens her eyes, a smile appearing. “Why would you want to do that?”
I can’t figure her out. The women I’ve had sex with always want more of my time, not less. Do I suck in bed?
Nah. That can’t be it.
The curtains billow in the breeze coming off the ocean, the sound of the waves heard through the open door to the balcony. Somewhere far off, music drifts through the air, though it barely reaches our ears. It’s another layer to set the scene, making memories that will stick with me.
It was funny—maybe quirky is a better word—when she had me agreeing to a pact. Now, there’s an unsettling in my gut that I’m not sure how to deal with. I slide down next to her, lying on my back, and turn to face her. “You might be the strangest girl I’ve ever met. You don’t want me to call or text. We skipped the foreplay and got right to the sex.”
“That’s a rhyme.”
“Oh no, you don’t. That’s cute, but I’m not letting you dodge this.”
“You’re cute,” she says, tapping my nose, trying to detour this conversation. I’ve noticed she has a knack for avoiding things she doesn’t want to talk about.
I tuck hair behind her ear. “I want to get to know you, Tate, but you make it hard.” I shouldn’t have phrased it that way—a perfect setup for jokes—but I try to keep us on topic. “Did I do something to upset you or?—?”
“No.” The answer is unhurried but to the point. “I’ve never had anyone question sex without strings.”
“Maybe they didn’t want more than that.”
Her grin slips away as a strong breeze blows over us. “What do you want me to say, Harrison, tell me and I’ll say it,” she says, her voice losing strength.
What is going on inside her head? What’s happened that I’m reaping the repercussions?
“I don’t want you to speak for me, to make me feel better. I want to hear what you want, what you need.”
She wiggles, her hand sliding down my bicep. “Is this a roundabout way to tell me that you want to have sex again?” That’s what it is with her— only physical .
Catching her hand just before it disappears under the sheet, I bring it between us and then kiss each fingertip and then her palm. “You have me right here wanting to learn everything about you, and you’re still not going to let me in, are you?”
“You’re not tired?” she asks. Closing her eyes, she blocks me out of delving deeper. I guess I got my answer. It doesn’t take long for her breathing to steady and sleep to take her from me.
I stay up, hoping the sunrise comes before our goodbyes. Maybe the new day can shed some light on what I can’t see lying here. We don’t have that kind of time.
My dad was right. Nothing worth my time was built on hopes and dreams. It takes action to make things happen. I don’t have a minute to spare to get the answers I need from her. With less than an hour before she needs to leave, I wake her up with kisses along her cheekbone and running my fingers through her long hair. “Tatum?” I whisper.
Her eyes slowly open and then close, her breath uneven as she tries again, stirring awake. “What time is it?”
“Four thirty.”
She groans, her eyes still closed. “I have to get up, but I don’t want to. I like it here much better.”
“I like you here much better too. What about a later flight?”
She gasps as she bolts up. “Natalie.” Jumping out of bed, she grabs a shirt, mine to be exact , and slips it on before rushing into the main part of the two-bedroom suite.
“What are you doing?” I call from bed.
I hear what sounds like her and Natalie talking in hushed voices and the door closing. “I’m sorry,” Tatum says.
Indiscernible whispering follows, and then her friend asks, “He’s still here?”
“Shh,” Tatum says. “Yes.”
After more whispering, I hear her friend say, “Don’t be late.”
“I won’t.”
Tatum returns to the room, closing the door quietly behind her. “I just remembered that I had the hotel keys. She’s been locked out all night.”
“Shit. She couldn’t get one from the front desk?”
Moving into the bathroom, she flips the light switch on. Peeking back out, she says, “She said she tried, but I was carrying her wallet yesterday, so she didn’t have ID.” A mischievous grin sneaks onto her face. “Guess where she’s been all night?”
“Where?” I hold the covers open for her, and she slips right in next to me as if she doesn’t have a flight to catch. We lie next to each other with her tucked against my side.
“In your room with Nick.”
Score one for my best friend. If anyone needed to get laid, it was him. Maybe he can learn to relax again. “That’s interesting,” I reply, trying not to sound like an asshole full of pride for my friend.
“I hope Natalie got laid.”
“Really?”
She nods. “She’s been on what she calls a love embargo for quite a while. This trip has been good for her to break back out of her shell. And Nick seemed like just the guy to help her.”
“Not to brag, but he’s a good guy, too. Stressed, but who isn’t these days?”
“I’m not.”
The response throws me a second. It’s too late to get into how she’s living a life so carefree when I have other motives in mind to get more time with her. “Nick is gold. She’s lucky if?—”
“I don’t want to talk about them. We have so little time left. Do you mind?”
Holding her closer, I ask, “Why would I mind?”
The tips of her fingers graze over the skin on the outside of my eyes before her hand lowers to my chest. “One day, you’re going to have smile lines. It’s not fair.”
“It’s not fair that I’ll have wrinkles? I’m pretty sure all of us will if we age naturally.”
“No, I mean, you’ll be even more devastatingly handsome than you are right now.”
I kiss her forehead and then fall back to my pillow again. “You know, the pact isn’t legally binding. It’s just us, two parties, who can make or break it.”
She pecks my lips, but there’s not enough time to deepen it before she’s getting out of bed. “Let’s not mess this up by trying to make it something it’s not. We’ll just cause each other a lot of heartache, so why go through the trouble?”
“But what if?—”
“I need to get ready. Will you stay until I need to leave?”
And just like that, she shut down all options but the one I’ve been trying to get around this whole time—a goodbye. “I’ll stay,” I reply, swallowing down the scraps she’s leaving me along with my pride. My heart lodges in my throat, and when the door closes, I close my eyes, hoping to wake up in a different state of mind.
A kiss wakes me up, and then another. “I’m leaving,” she whispers.
When I open my eyes, the lamp on the dresser is on. It’s not bright, but there’s enough light to see she’s fully dressed. She’s stunning—the image of her before me will compete with remembering her at the peak of orgasm, sharing a laugh on the yacht as the sun sets, and feeding me grapes and then savoring it on my lips. Who am I kidding? I’ll remember everything about her, even this goodbye.
She walks to the door in silence.
I pull the covers off, not caring that I’m naked, and get up to help her with the luggage. It’s a good guise to actually be near her again.
Just as she yanks the handle from the top of the case, she kicks the bottom to get it angled. “Don’t get up. You can stay and sleep.”
“I want to.” I go to her and hold her head to look at her as if I’ll never see something of this magnitude again. It’s not just her beauty, though. The soul that she carries in the amber of her brown eyes is magnificent like buried gold “I need to say something?—”
“Please don’t.” The pain heard in her voice causes an ache in my heart. Her gaze falls from mine as her hands take hold of my arms.
I hate that my heart beats loud in my ears, and panic fills my chest. I’m losing her, and I’m just not ready yet. “What if I don’t agree?”
“You already did.” Her eyes finally return to mine. She throws her arms around me, holding me so tight that I think she might be panicking over this goodbye as well. She rests her head on my chest, her heart also beating just as fast.
I hold her, dipping my head against the top of hers and closing my eyes, savoring and memorizing everything I can.
She slips away too soon. I catch the subtle swipe from the side of her eyes, the jagged breath she takes, and how she forces that chin in the air, collecting herself back together again. “Go to bed. Get some sleep. That’s what I’d be doing if I could stay.” Playfully shoving me away, she says, “Go. You have hours until it’s time to check out. Enjoy the bed.”
“I’d enjoy the bed a lot more with you in it.”
“Me too, but I need to go.”
The space between us grows as I give her what she wants again. Climbing back into bed, I’m tired, but if this is the only way to end us on a good note, I’ll do it. With the door pushing against her back and her suitcase handle poised in her hand, she looks into the living room of the hotel suite. I hear her friend ask, “Ready?”
“One minute.”
She runs over and kisses me once more—lips pressed to mine like it’s the last she’ll ever get. I cup her face and hold her there, giving her one that will make her regret ever leaving.
Pulling back, she dips her forehead to mine and takes a breath as though it pains her. Then she returns to the door.
When she looks back at me, I ask, “Has anyone ever broken through that fortress?”
The slightest shake of her head follows, and then she says, “No one’s ever made the effort.”
I tuck my hands behind my head, sure as the day is new that I would be that man. “I always did love a good challenge.”
Her head tilts as a smile graces her face, reaching all the way to her eyes and shining happiness right into the irises. “I give you all the outs in the world, and you’re making it your life’s mission?”
“No, I’m making you my mission.” I wink at her.
She laughs, but I can see the color in her cheeks deepening. “There’s nothing wrong with a good ending, Harrison, and we got one of the best.”
“You wait and see, Tatum. This isn’t over. This is just our beginning.”