Chapter 25
25
Harrison
“I was worried about being a godparent, and now look at me?”
“Am I looking at the pint of ice cream in your hand or the fried chicken on your lap?” Ow —the whack to the bicep came fast. She may be pregnant, but she can still deliver a wallop.
She’s been pregnant for just over a hot minute and is adapting quick to her new life. I think she figured out the perks—me willing and ready to satiate her cravings—real fast.
Lying on the couch, Tatum laughs, gut-giggling, from it. The woman is delirious . . . with power . She doesn’t have to worry, though. I’m more than willing to feed her cravings, hunger or sexually, anytime she wants.
When she catches her breath, she says, “I meant because the thought of being a godparent scared me, and now I’m going to be a mom.” She’s quick to move the food to the coffee table before turning to me on the other side of the couch. “Oh wow. I’m going to be a mom, Decker.” Only a second passes before she adds, “You’re going to be a dad.”
Dad . . .
I think of my dad.
And Corbin Christiansen— Nick’s dad .
Those are the dads I know. Different in a lot of ways and similar in others. I don’t really feel old enough to be called Dad. Imagining a kid calling me that brings a smile to my face, though. I’ve loved being an uncle— the favorite uncle— to Harlow. But what I have realized is that I’ve secretly wanted to be a dad for years but packed away that dream since I didn’t have the woman I wanted to be tied to for the rest of my life.
I relocated the dream of having a family of my own into my heart. Not sure why.
Tatum and I can both admit that pure physical attraction brought us together. The sex is outstanding. Still is.
Truthfully, though, Tatum never indicated one way or the other that we’d one day be friends. Lovers came unexpectedly. It was as though my heart’s been waiting for her to catch up. She may be covered in crumbs with a hint of chocolate stuck to the side of her mouth. Yep, that’s my woman right there, but that’s also the mother of my baby, and I couldn’t be happier.
Taking her hand, I rub my thumb over her soft skin. “It’s funny because I think we skipped a few steps, but I’m not beholden to some old-fashioned notion. We may have just had our first date, but I think we’re past that now. Tatum, will you be my girlfriend?”
“Why’d you have to go and do that, Harrison?” Her foot nudges my leg.
I take her by the ankles and stretch them across my lap, then rub her feet. “What did I go and do exactly?”
“You’re being sweet and romantic. It makes me question if you’re just doing that because I’m pregnant.”
“I kind of thought I was romantic before.”
“You were. You are .” She leans forward, grabbing hold of my forearm, and says, “I want us to be together because we want to, not because we feel we have to. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. I don’t know how this works at all. I just know I want a life full of love, not the sadness I’ve felt in the past few years.”
“I want that for you, too. I want you to feel the freedom you did when we first met.”
“I was living back then without a care in the world. Or at least the cares that I had overcome.” Flopping back, she throws her arms above her head to rest on the arm of the couch. It’s hard to find the humor in her laughter, though, and that sadness she speaks of is the thing I’ve had trouble reading. She nailed it. “Poor guy. You didn’t know what you were getting yourself into.”
“What changed over the years?”
“Me. Everything.” Her gaze shifts to the TV, though it’s currently off. “I’m the same person, but I’ve grown and have more responsibilities.”
“Let’s get back to that sadness.” I reach as far as I can to cover the divide between us. I touch under her chin, and ask, “Why are you so sad, pretty girl?”
It’s good she doesn’t rush her response. Her eyes are fixed on mine like she might find the answer. “Meeting twenty-two-year-old vacation Tatum is not the same person you’re meeting at twenty-seven, tomorrow.” She winks. “I’m not going to prematurely age myself.” This time the giggle is soft but genuine. “This is real life, my life, and I’ve come to realize everyone eventually leaves me behind.”
“Behind what? I’m not trying to be a smart-ass, but what are others keeping you from that you can’t find or do yourself?” When she doesn’t say anything, I start getting some of this shit off my chest. “You’re amazing—happy, sad, mad as all fuck, sexy, natural, and dressed up. Every version of you is worth loving. For yourself. You don’t have to wait around for something that might be all you think it’s cracked up to be. You can create it. You can create the life you want to live, Tatum. Don’t let the world get you down. Don’t let others determine your happiness.”
“You sound like a life coach.”
“I’ve been known to motivate . . .” It’s the perfect setup for a wink, but this isn’t about being cocky, patting myself on the back, or foreplay to bide time before dinner. This is about making sure Tatum finds what makes her happy. Not for me and not for the baby even though a kid needs to see that behavior modeled. This is about her.
I continue, “This is about creating the life you need instead of searching for it in others.” She hasn’t really let me into her life to see this, but from what I’ve observed over the years, I think she’s placed that expectation on others like her parents, boyfriends, or Natalie. That’s not saying she’s weak, but that she’s lacked the contentment within herself to know she can take the lead in her own life.
She swings her feet to the floor and sits up. Staring at the food on the coffee table, she says, “Now I feel bad for indulging.”
“I didn’t say that to make you feel bad. I eat In-N-Out as soon as I land in LA.”
“I know what you mean. I just think I probably should have gone into work today.”
“Don’t you have your meeting with Dolores soon?”
Checking my watch, I have a few minutes before I need to leave. “I need to go, change clothes?—”
“You should bring some clothes over here since you’re always having to go back to Natalie’s.”
Now I’m the one staring. That’s what I call a turnabout. Warp speed indeed. “Are you sure?” I know how absurd it sounds that I’m asking to keep a few shirts over here when my baby already moved in.
She nods with a smirk. “I’m sure.” Getting up off the couch, she adds, “Lounge time is over. We have money to earn to support this kid. Mama’s gotta go earn some bacon. And you have a new listing to get.” Strutting into the other room, I watch that fine ass as she shakes it for me.
Just before she rounds the corner, she stops and whips around. Spreading her body lengthwise against the corner, she raises a leg and arm to look sexy. Does she not realize she doesn’t have to try with me? She purrs. “Or, if you have a few minutes, I could show you my birthmark.”
“Oh yeah? Where might that be?” I’m already heading straight toward her.
“Nowhere that the sunshine can reach.”
Fuck me, the vixen. I’ll lose a listing before I miss out on discovering a new territory to conquer on her body. Grabbing my hands, she tugs me into the bedroom and has her way with me.
* * *
“My apologies. Traffic is awful.”
Dolores opens the door wider to allow me entrance. “You’re not coming from next door?”
“I had an appointment in Tribeca, something I had to handle.”
She walks into the heart of the home. “Hope everything’s okay.”
I shut the door and follow her. “Yes, it’s perfect.”
And I’m completely satisfied.
When she sits on the couch, I choose the seat across the limestone and brass coffee table, and she says, “Harrison, I’m going to be up front with you. I’ve dealt with playboys and hotshots who have tried to get this listing. That’s not what I’m looking for.”
I’m not liking the sound of this or the way she’s staring at me like I’m just another hotshot in New York City. My California pride is offended.
“I adore Natalie and Nick. Andrew Christiansen, who lives two doors down, manages my portfolio, and I’ve raised money for The Jacobs Garden, Juni’s passion project. Every last one of them has spoken highly of you,” she continues.
“That’s nice to hear.” I lean forward, resting my forearms on my legs and keeping my hands clasped together. “Is there a but coming?”
“But,” she starts, not a trace of a smile, much less one that says I got this listing. “That was your girlfriend, not a client. Natalie told me about trying to talk her friend into buying the house, the same one you’re dating. I would also assume she’s the same person who left makeup on the fold of your collar.”
Makeup?
Shit.
Because of the fun Tatum and I had, I didn’t have time to change clothes. I wore this suit not only last night but also this morning to the doctors and lounging at Tatum’s apartment.
I look down at the rug, tracing the lines of the design. I don’t like to lie. Some agents will say anything to get the listing and do anything to close a deal, even if it means tricking a client or an interested buyer. I won’t lower my morals to sell a property. “I’m dating her. That was actually our first date.” When she doesn’t say anything but sits back as if she’s ready to hear the story, I confess everything. “I was in charge of bringing her to a party that Natalie was throwing for her. It was a surprise party for her birthday. But then I got this chance, and she told me to take it. We detoured here before going to the party next door.”
We sit in a silent standoff for what feels like minutes. Rationally, I know it’s only seconds, but the heat is getting to me under the collar, tempting me to tug it to get more air.
Dolores’s features have a hard line to them, but they soften, and she says, “Thank you, Harrison, for confirming I can trust you.” She smiles, and I take a deep, relieved breath. “I’m giving you the listing because I know you’re not only trying to make a name for yourself in the city but you also come highly regarded by your friends. And I like Natalie. I also like to help others when I can, and I think this listing will give you a nice reference when you sell it over listing for seventeen million.” Oh thank God.
I was going eighteen, but seventeen gives me flexibility.
She adds, “The only condition is that I don’t want you to lie to me. If you can agree to those terms, you’ve got yourself a listing.”
Standing, I hold out my hand. “I won’t lie to you, Dolores. And I truly appreciate your trust in me. I do agree to your terms, and thank you. Very much. You won’t regret this, I promise.”
“I like hungry agents. They work harder than the established ones. Get me over this listing, Harrison, and I’ll introduce you to everyone in this city.” She stands and shakes my hand.
“You’ve got yourself a deal.”
When I reach the sidewalk and the door closes behind me, I fist pump and punch the air. “Yes. Yes. Fucking yes!” I turn around and jump out of the way of an older lady in her speeding electric chair. “Sorry.” That doesn’t temper my excitement.
I run up the stairs to tell Nick and Natalie, finding them on the back patio playing backgammon. “I got the listing,” I say, pulling out a chair next to Natalie.
“You did?” she asks, a big smile on her face. “Dolores can be tough, but I knew she’d love you.”
Reaching over, she rubs her fingers on my collar. “Is that makeup?”
“Apparently. I need fresh clothes. I can’t believe I had to meet her wearing this.”
“Why did you?” Nick asks, moving his pip. “You could have changed clothes first. Your stuff is upstairs.” His eyes peek up at his wife, and there’s a mischievous look in them. “Sorry, babe.”
She huffs. “This baby has scrambled my brain. I never used to lose, and now it’s all I do.” She’s still not showing, but there’s a fullness to her face that wasn’t there before. It looks good on her, and has me imagining those small changes on Tatum.
Angling toward me, she asks, “Can we talk about Tatum and the pregnancy?”
“Sure, I could use the outside perspective.”
The game is forgotten as her attention redirects to me. “I’m happy for you both. I’m just a little shocked. Or a lot, honestly. It’s a big change from us having to referee the space if you both occupied it to you guys having a baby together. It makes me nervous.”
“I hear what you’re saying, and there’s not a thought in there that I haven’t shared. But I want this baby.”
“What about Tatum?” she asks as if that’s even a question.
“I want the full package, which includes her. I care about her, Nat. I get where you’re coming from. Tatum and I don’t make sense on the surface or from our history. But when we’re together, we do. We click.”
Nick takes a drink of his beer and then says, “We don’t want either one of you to get hurt, but Natalie and I also know we can’t butt in or protect you. We just have to air the initial concerns, which you’ve now addressed.”
Natalie gently rests her hand on my arm. “You know I adore you, Harrison, but I worry where that leaves us if something goes wrong.”
I wasn’t expecting to have this conversation, but there’s a lot of things I didn’t expect to happen when I came to New York, mainly to fall for Tatum all over again. Fall? My stomach tightens because I may not have said anything to her or have to answer to my friends, but I can’t lie to myself.
My relationship might appear to be only a few weeks old, but we were something special back in Catalina. I knew that then, which is how I was so sure she’d be in my life again. We’ve had some obstacles in our way, but the road ahead has been cleared, and I’m not taking any shortcuts when it comes to her.
“Your allegiance lies with Tatum. I understand that, and I’d never come between the two of you, but maybe we’re supposed to work out. Maybe this baby is a sign that we’re tied together in this universe,” I say.
“You sound like my mom,” Nick says under a chuckle.
“Cookie might understand what’s going on better than I can, but I know what I feel and what I see.”
Although Natalie’s hand had already returned to the table in front of her, her attention and the joy in her eyes shine on me. “I can’t ask for anything more than someone who loves her through the good and the bad. Do you love Tatum?”
And there it is. All I have to do is tell the truth, but I should tell the woman I love first. “I hope you understand that I need to talk to Tatum before I talk to you guys.”
“We do, man,” Nick adds. “Go change clothes. You look like shit. And then I suspect you won’t be joining us for soup?”
More? I start laughing. “Not tonight, but what’s on the menu?”
With her arms in front of her already explaining, Natalie replies, “French onion. I got the best gruyere at the market today for the topping.”
I scoot my chair out. “Sounds good.” Gripping the back of it, I debate how I’m supposed to say this without getting Natalie excited and Nick rolling his eyes at me, ready to say I told you so. Ah, fuck it. They’re my best friends. If I can’t share my happiness with them, who can I? My family, but that’s the next step. “I’m going to take some of my clothes over to Tatum’s, so I might not be around as much in the next few days.”
Their reactions are predictable, sans the I told you so, but that’s what makes them so great. They voice their concerns up front, but when all is said and done, they support Tatum and me. “Oh, and we’re having the baby. I didn’t know if you thought we might not, so yeah, I’m going to be a daddy.”
“Harrison,” Natalie says, getting up quickly. She hugs me, and I think I feel her body rattle with a soft sob.
“Are you crying?”
“I’m just so happy for you, and I get to have a baby at the same time as my best friend. This is such a beautiful day.”
Nick comes around and pats me on the back before pulling his wife to his chest. “C’mere, babe.” To me, he shakes my hand. “Congratulations. Look at us all grown up and becoming dads.”
“Didn’t see that coming.”
“The best things in life aren’t the ones we plan. They’re the ones that happen naturally,” he says.
Nick could be talking about his own relationship or mine. Maybe both. Definitely both.
Whatever the grand plan was for me, I’m glad Tatum and this baby are a part of my destiny.