Chapter 39
Newton
I know what it costs her to be so brave.
Anytime she’s attempted it in the past, Nathan cut her off at the knees and then hurt her for even thinking of taking charge of any situation.
I see a little more light in her eyes when I approach her. Witnessing the hug between her and Beth made me want to jump for joy. I know that has been an issue clouding her mind since she came to the clubhouse the first time.
”Is everything better?” I ask as I pull her to my chest.
”It will be,” she says, more positivity in her tone than I”ve ever heard from her before.
I turn her around and urge her toward our room. There”s just something about this woman standing on her own two feet that really fucking turns me on, and I witnessed it once at the doctor”s office and again just now with Beth.
”You seem eager,” she mutters, but when I look over her shoulder, I see the file she”s trying to hide.
”Always for you, baby,” I assure her as I open our bedroom door and usher her inside, closing and locking the door behind me. ”What”s happening on Monday?”
I heard the tail end of their conversation as I approached, and I had already formulated my words to explain she doesn”t have to work if she doesn”t want to.
”Schoolwork,” she says, scrunching up her nose as if she”s disgusted by the idea of it, but I know better.
”It”ll give you something to do while I”m on patrol or at work,” I say. ”I know you don”t like to be bored.”
”Do you know how many shows there are that I haven”t seen? That Supernatural series has like twelve seasons.”
”It has fifteen seasons, and I thought we agreed to watch it together,” I argue as I step into her, making her take backward steps toward the bed.
She shrugs as if she couldn”t be bothered to wait for me, but her tone changes as she squeals when I push her gently onto the bed.
We”re facing a lot of uncertainty, but we have to find the joy and normalcy where we can.
It was decided before Cerberus left Ohio, that Hemlock was going to spearhead the new chapter closer to the East Coast. He couldn”t risk being seen traveling back with us.
We had a meeting, and it was discussed that despite the possibility that he might”ve been seen with us, Jericho found a list of businesses they can”t make heads or tails of. Ace and his crew don”t know if the places listed are trafficking women or if they”ve just been marked as easy places to pull women from.
Either way, Hemlock was headed to Tennessee to see what he could figure out, having to hit the ground running with very little time to prepare.
”I think I can be convinced to wait and watch it with you,” Brielle whispers as she reaches for the hem of my t-shirt, pulling it over my head in the next breath. ”I don”t know that I”ll ever get used to all the muscles. You work out and all these sexy veins show up.”
A river of cold chills follows her fingers down my arms.
”I work out with you, and I just want to eat my weight in carbohydrates.”
”You”ll find a happy medium,” I explain. ”Plus, maybe you”re eating for two.”
I roll my hips, but she doesn”t smile. Instead, she presses both of her palms to my chest and wiggles out from under me.
”No,” I tell her when she gives me her back. ”We”re not doing this. You told me that I can be honest with you at all times.”
”And I promised to try and not freak out.”
”So you”re freaking out?”
She shakes her head, looking down at me when I climb off the bed and settle at her feet.
”Talk to me,” I urge.
Tears stain her cheeks before she”s able to speak. I wipe them away with my thumbs, hating that she just can”t let herself be loved. It makes me hate Nathan with the fire of a million suns.
”I can”t have children.”
I freeze at her words, not expecting them at all.
”Okay,” I say quickly, maybe a little too quickly.
”I had a procedure done after leaving Ohio last year. I couldn”t risk--”
I cup her face. ”I know what was at risk. This changes nothing for me.”
”You want babies,” she says, on the verge of sobbing.
”I want you, baby.”
Her eyes search mine, and I know there”s a damaged part of her that is telling her she still can”t trust me. I also know that I have enough faith in us to be strong when she can”t be.
I press my lips to hers, urging her back and covering her body with mine.
”You won”t change your mind?” she asks against my lips.
”Never,” I vow.
”I”m going to need you to prove it,” she says, and there isn”t a hint of humor in her voice.
”I will,” I promise, knowing with every cell in my body that I will die loving this woman. I can only hope that I get many, many years before that happens.
Her fingernails dig into my back when I press my mouth to hers, and I swallow down the moan that erupts from hers when I roll my hips against her center.
I pull away just enough so I can run my lips down her neck, nipping at the lobe of her ear before pressing a sweet kiss to the necklace at her throat. The blue topaz sparkles in the early afternoon sunlight coming in through the window. It was found left behind in the bathroom at the courthouse, and the way it was discarded, it felt like she gave up the very last piece of me she had, but I now know that she thought she had to walk away completely in order to have any hope of being safe. She couldn”t take any part of me with her.
”I love you,” I whisper against her breast, my tongue snaking out to lap at her nipple.
She arches her back, her hands searching for the zipper of my jeans.
God, I want to go slow and feast on her. I want to spend hours worshipping her body. The rest of my life, no matter how long it is, won”t be long enough to show her how much I love her.
She hasn”t said it back, but I feel it in her touch, in the way she reaches for me in the night. I feel in the way she searches a room for me the second she steps inside.
”Get those off,” she growls, making me chuckle at her own urgency.
”I was hoping we could go slow and sweet,” I say as I stand on the side of the bed, shifting my weight from one foot to the other as I kick off my boots, simultaneously shoving my jeans and boxer briefs down my legs.
”Careful,” she growls when I tip to one side and have to correct my positioning. ”If you fall over, I”m still going to ride your cock. I don”t care if you”re bleeding.”
She screeches when I grab her leg and tug her down the bed, her smile wide.
”Is that so?” I ask, working her leggings down her legs.
She nods as she pulls off her own shirt before unhooking and discarding her bra.
She is absolutely gorgeous, from the top of her head to the tips of her pink painted toenails, courtesy of a spa day she had the other day with Devyn.
I pull her up and she easily wraps her legs around me. I fight the urge to press her to the wall and shove inside of her because I listen to context clues. She told me how she wanted me, and I”ll do anything to make her happy.
Her hair forms an umbrella of sorts around our faces when I drop back on the bed.
”You”re insane,” she says, her smile even wider.
”Insane about you.”
She rolls her eyes at the corniness, her mood shifting right back to where we both need it when I lift my hands and cup both of her breasts.
”I hate how easily I”m ready for you,” she says, but I can tell she really isn”t complaining.
”Same,” I tell her, moving her back a few inches so she can feel how hard my cock is.
”It”s not the same. You”re always hard.”
”And you”re always wet.”
I lift her an inch and watch with my mouth hanging open as she grips the base of my cock, positioning it at her entrance.
We moan simultaneously as she glides easily down my cock.
”Fucking heaven,” I groan.
She licks her lips, eyes locked on mine, as she rocks back and forth, taking a moment to adjust to me so deep inside of her.
”Is this part of the forever you promised?”
”Yes,” I pant. ”God, yes.”
She rolls her hips, somehow doing exactly everything I need, but I get the feeling she could just stare at my cock without touching it and it would set me on edge.
I grip her hips, urging her up and down faster, before taking handfuls of her ass.
”Eyes on me,” I urge when her eyelids grow heavy.
There have been times she gets lost in her head, and after confessing this to me, I make it apoint to keep her in the moment with me as best as I can.
”Love you,” I whisper just as my cock kicks inside of her.
Her teeth dig into her lower lip with the words, her body convulsing around mine.
I know there will come a time when she says them back. Until then, I”ll keep listening to them in the ways she”s able to tell me.