Chapter 8 Lincoln
LINCOLN
@theanswerisno:
You up?
@pancakesareelite:
Barely
@theanswerisno:
Okay, never mind.
@pancakesareelite:
What’s up?
@theanswerisno:
It’s okay, I’m fine. Sleep well, x.
@pancakesareelite:
I’ve sent you an invite
@theanswerisno:
Patchwork? This game is for old people and children.
@pancakesareelite:
It’s cathartic and my brain isn’t working too well at the moment
@theanswerisno:
You don’t have to do this
@pancakesareelite:
It’s your turn
@theanswerisno:
Thank you.
@theanswerisno:
Pancakes?
@pancakesareelite:
Hmm?
@theanswerisno:
Today would have been my dad’s 57th birthday.
I blinked, and an entire week flew by.
With the promotion being dangled over my head at work and my mother needing me to fix up her current house, I wasn’t coping. Add to that my new office mate, and I should be declared a national emergency.
Despite doing her best to respect my focus sessions and hone her skills, Elizabeth still managed to fail at both by being incredibly distracting and her work requiring a fair amount of correction and guidance.
And I wasn’t the only one she was distracting. There were whispers in the office wherever she went.
But that was a weekday problem, and today was Sunday.
The front door at my mother’s new home flung open. I hopped out of my truck and met her halfway. She pulled me in for a gentle hug. “Lincoln, it’s so beautiful. Even more beautiful than I dreamed.”
With those words, every worry washed away. Every hour worked was worth it.
“Are you sure it isn’t too much?” She released me and smoothed out my T-shirt.
“I was about to pay for it by myself, but your boyfriend swooped in with the ultimate grand gesture and helped out.”
At the mention of her boyfriend, she smiled.
“So, in a way, I got a huge discount,” I said.
This time, she laughed.
Her misty eyes cleared. “I adore it.” She spun on her heel and practically skipped inside. “Come see what I have in mind.”
I followed her inside with limbs that couldn’t decide if they felt light or heavy.
Part of me longed for my childhood home, which was still waiting to be packed up and handed over.
It was weird knowing that, in a few weeks, it wouldn’t belong to the Cardens—weirder knowing that my mother would be living here with another man.
After nineteen years, I was happy she’d finally found someone.
At some point during a tour of the house I’d already seen twice, Daniel arrived. My mother hurried outside, and I gave them a few minutes to greet each other before joining them.
I walked out to the front yard, where a pickup truck was parked in the driveway next to mine. Daniel stood with an arm around my mother. He jumped away the second he noticed me.
“Lincoln, hi.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. His cheeks were flushed red as though I were the scary father and he was the naughty teenage boy.
“Daniel.” I reached out and shook his hand.
My mother turned to me. “Daniel picked up all the wood he needs for the closet, but he could use some help putting it together.”
Main quest: Help mother unpack. Side quest: Bonding exercise.
My mom had been doing this to me for years. It was how Claire and I had become friends. Claire was our neighbor, and Mom asked her to help me tend the garden. Of course she agreed. And she did it every Sunday morning with me until… I guess until we bonded.
But it was somewhat more awkward as adults. Daniel pushed up his glasses. Instinctively, I did the same thing.
He smiled. “It’s really good to spend some one-on-one time with you, Lincoln. Your mom tells me so much about you.”
I nodded. I was terrible at small talk. Ask anyone. But I couldn’t leave him hanging, because he seemed about as uncomfortable as I was. “Good stuff, I hope,” I replied. A cliché, but surely it was a cliché for a reason.
Daniel chuckled. That was a good sign. “Well, she mentioned your promotion. Congratulations, that’s impressive.”
“Well… it’s not… mine yet,” I said, my discomfort rising.
“She’s confident you’ll get it.” He offered me an easy smile. The same one I was sure won my mom over. “She’s so proud of you. She told everyone. So, you know, no pressure.”
I forced out a laugh and glanced away. Uneasiness prickled across my skin. Daniel meant well, but he didn’t know me. He didn’t know how my brain latched on to things to obsess about. This was one of them. I needed that promotion, and right now, I wasn’t sure I was doing a good enough job to get it.
Daniel pointed at wood jutting out of the back of his truck. “Could you help me carry these pieces up to the bedroom?”
I nodded, happy to be put to work.
“Thank you. I’ll be there to help in a second. I need to wake my granddaughter.” Daniel walked up to the truck and opened the passenger side door, revealing a kid who was fast asleep. “Emily Ann.” He gently poked and prodded her.
I’d heard all about the beloved granddaughter but had yet to meet her.
I lifted a large piece of wood before carrying it upstairs to the second floor, where it would be transformed into a closet.
It took a few trips up and down, but eventually we got everything up there.
“Ever built a closet before?” Daniel asked, setting out all the boards. Most of them were already cut to the right size, but there were a few pieces that seemed unaccounted for.
I shook my head.
“I used to be a carpenter.” Daniel looked up at me from where he knelt on the floor. “Many moons ago.”
I knew that. I wasn’t in the least bit surprised Mom paired us on an activity that would highlight his abilities. But Daniel seemed to want my validation.
“Cool,” I said, and when it didn’t feel like enough, I kneeled beside him. “I’ll follow your lead, then.”
I enjoyed working with my hands. It helped silence my mind, which is why I never complained about all the little tasks my mother made me do. On some level, I was sure she knew.
This time, my mind couldn’t rest. There was one thought plaguing me.
I was betraying my dad.
This was something I’d have done with him. My father was a construction worker capable of building anything. I spent years watching him fix things in our house and sometimes other people’s houses.
He should have been the one teaching me.
I didn’t blame him, of course. He certainly hadn’t intended on leaving behind a wife and an eleven-year-old boy who had even fewer social skills than I do now.
My chest ached. Far less than it used to, but it was like the pain in my lower back that sometimes flared up.
Emily Ann, who was now wide awake and fueled on her half-eaten candy bar, bounced into the room and pulled me from the thoughts that were close to consuming me.
“Ma wants to know if anyone wants chai,” she said, and did not even try to avoid staring at me. “Are you Uncle Lincoln?”
Uncle? That was a first.
“Uh, yeah. Are you Kid Emily Ann?”
She giggled and lost her balance but quickly found her feet. “You don’t have to say ‘kid.’ That’s silly.”
“I’m a bit silly.” I shrugged as I fixed the last shelf. “And a bit thirsty.”
“Gotcha,” she said, finger guns popping in my direction and then toward Daniel. “Pops?”
“I’d love a cup, but could you…” Before he could finish his sentence, Emily Ann was gone.
She whooshed downstairs and landed on the first floor with a big thud. “They said yes!”
With the tea came more tasks, and after we finished the closet, we built a TV cabinet and a few floating shelves, nothing that I had on my list for the day.
I was supposed to be packing up the old place. I’d been avoiding it for weeks.
But after today, after spending this time with Daniel, I craved my old home. Daniel was a stand-up guy, but he’d completely drained my social battery. I needed a moment alone.
“Come back for dinner, okay?” Mom called after I said my goodbyes and made my way outside.
I nodded, climbed into my truck, and drove back to our old house, where I sat outside for a few moments. The coat of white paint I’d put on about four years ago looked a bit grubby, but the buyers had agreed to paint it themselves once they moved in.
I turned off my truck and let myself into the now almost-empty house. None of the rooms interested me except one. I crept to the study and grasped the handle. A part of me almost thought to knock. To call out. To ask if he was in there.
My heart pulsed. This was stupid. He died years ago.
I couldn’t let it haunt me. I was a grown man with responsibilities, and if I didn’t toughen up and empty this room, it would be handed over to the new owners as is because Mom wouldn’t be able to do it either.
She’d lost the love of her life. Her soulmate.
Someone she had shared herself with for almost twenty years before he was torn away.
I pushed open the door, and it creaked as if surprised to see me.
My breath caught at the sight of the PlayStation 2 and the two controllers strewn across the floor.
The cushions we’d sat on were still there.
Unmoved. And I knew if I turned on the little TV and the console, the game we’d paused and saved all those years ago may still be there.
Stuck in a different time. Where dying in Middle-earth was my biggest fear.
With a few deep breaths, I went to the controllers and lifted one of them. I hadn’t played on a PlayStation 2 since then. I hadn’t stopped gaming, but I’d moved over to PC gaming where I could play alone or with strangers online and not be reminded that I’d lost my Player Two.