Chapter 50 Lincoln
LINCOLN
@theanswerisno:
I’ve put in hundreds of hours on this game and I’m still not done. I don’t know if I want to keep going. I’m not enjoying it anymore.
@pancakesareelite:
Then stop
@theanswerisno:
Didn’t you hear me?
I put in hundreds of hours.
@pancakesareelite:
I heard the part where you said you’re not enjoying it anymore
@pancakesareelite:
Come on, let’s play something else
Knowing Elizabeth would still be locked in to her final test, I went straight to Anders’s office, half expecting him to know about the job offer. I knocked once and let myself in.
Anders’s head zapped up. “Shut the door behind you.”
The door snicked shut, leaving only the sound of Anders’s heavy sigh. Heavier than usual.
I slipped into a seat. “What’s so urgent?”
Anders ran a hand back and forth over his bald head. “How do I even ask you this?”
On a good day, I’d enjoy seeing him tongue-twisted and panicked, but this was different. The reason hit me seconds before he asked, “Is it true? Are you having… relations with Gordon-
Bettencourt? Tell me it isn’t.” He shut his eyes.
Panic bloomed in my chest, but I stomped it down. I’d prepared for this scenario. “Yes.”
“Dammit, Carden. Couldn’t you have lied to me?” Anders laid his head on the desk.
The room shrunk in the seconds passing. My fingers found a tear in the leather armrest. “What good would that have done?”
“Well, for one, I wouldn’t have to get HR involved. This relationship will need to be disclosed. You’re her superior, Carden.”
I kept fidgeting with the tear, my eyes focused on a spot on his desk. I turned his words over and over in my mind until my own thoughts burst out of me. “Well, I don’t want to be.”
I’d planned to chat with Elizabeth about it first, I’d planned to chat with my mom, and I’d even planned to ruminate on it for days, weeks, and months. But sitting here, across from Barry Anders for what felt like the millionth time in a decade, I was sure of my decision to leave.
I shut my eyes, waiting for the world to fall apart at my confession. But it didn’t. I glanced at my boss.
“What do you mean?” Anders asked.
“I don’t want the promotion. I don’t want to manage. I don’t want… this.” I gestured toward him. “Can you picture me being you?”
With every sure word I spoke, the room seemed to expand back to its usual size.
Anders’s mouth dropped open, and he waved me off. “Slow down. Don’t make any rash decisions because of Elizabeth. We don’t even know if she’ll place top two, and even if she does, we could make it work. The policy is there to discourage complications, but there are ways around it.”
“I’m not doing this because of Elizabeth.
” Not directly, at least. A smile teased at the corner of my mouth as I thought back to the late nights we’d worked together and how enthusiastic she’d been.
I’d enjoyed going back and walking her through the basics.
“I’m doing it for me. If you thought I would be a good manager, you wouldn’t have tested me the way that you did. ”
Anders dropped his head. “I wanted you to be a good manager, but you’re right. I wasn’t sure you would step up.” He looked upward. “But you have. I trust you now. What have they offered you? I’ll add fifty percent to it.”
“It’s not about the money. I’ll be pursuing a job in academia.” The fabric gave under my fingernail with a satisfying rip.
Anders slapped his palm on the desk. “Those pesky word warriors have had their eyes on you for years.” He leaned back in his seat, popped open his drawer, and pulled out a couple of individually wrapped chocolate truffles.
“I suppose the heart wants what it wants.” He slid one across the desk.
“You’re making me stress-eat my favorite chocolates.
These are handmade with Venezuelan cocoa and rolled in flakes of milk chocolate. ”
“Thank you.” I took the chocolate and rolled it between my fingers. “Could I bother you for a reference? Apparently, I’m the front runner for the job, but having the backing of Barry Anders could only benefit me.”
“Of course.” Anders chuckled, his teeth coated in brown chocolate. “I’ll be sure to tell them how incredibly well you managed your intern.”
“Speaking of…” Heat filled my cheeks, and I looked down at my lap. “My evaluations were objective.”
“I give you a lot of shit,” Anders said, and looked up at the ceiling, “but I have no doubt you wouldn’t allow someone to unfairly achieve something at the cost of another.
Had it been any of the other managers, I’d have to be a little more concerned.
But you, you didn’t rate her well enough for me to believe you’re biased. ”
“She wasn’t good enough back then. She is now.”
“Soon we’ll know whether that’s true. I’m happy to keep HR out of this, considering your resignation, but I will ask that you step off from the final test’s evaluation committee.”
“Understood.” I dipped my head. “I hope you won’t judge her any differently.”
“I would if I could, but I can’t. The grading on the final test remains completely anonymous.” He ran a hand across his head. “If I had any hair left, I’d have lost it because of this. How the hell are we going to run this department without you?”
“With great difficulty and regret, I imagine.” I stood and tucked the truffle into my pocket.
Anders laughed. “I’ll miss your interesting sense of humor, Carden. I wish you all the best in academia and with your”—he paused—“personal life. Elizabeth has quite the reputation, and I would hate to see a man like you end up entangled in a web of drama. Be careful with her.”
All the playfulness dropped from my voice. “Be careful how you talk about her. Not only is she very important to me and deserving of your respect, but also she may very well be your newest hire in Roads and Transportation—and I hear the department could use a hand.”
“Touché,” Anders said. “So, what happens now?”
“Now I have to call my mom and break it to her that her son won’t be the first manager in the family, but he will likely become the family’s first professor.”