Chapter 36
Tate
She’s curled up between us, her breathing soft and even. Carter’s behind her, one arm draped over her waist, completely out.
I want to go back to sleep but I can’t. Not with everything I feel clawing at the inside of my chest.
I roll onto my side, brushing a knuckle down her bare arm.
Her skin prickles under my touch, warm and smooth and familiar in a way that terrifies me.
I press a kiss to her shoulder, then another, lower this time.
She shifts, murmurs my name in that soft, sleep-heavy voice that makes my pulse stutter.
“Go back to sleep,” she whispers.
“No,” I murmur against her skin. “Not until I give you everything.”
Her eyes flutter open, meeting mine in the dim light, and I see that fucking spark. The one that always shows up right before she lets me ruin her.
I sit up, and lean across the bed opening the drawer of her nightstand. The one she cleared out just for me. I pull out the coil of soft red rope, and let it rest between my hands for a second before dragging it slowly down the length of her arm. Her breath hitches.
“Tate, we’re going to wake Carter u—”
“I’m gonna tie you up,” I murmur, pressing a finger to her lips. “Not to hold you down. To hold you open. To hold you still. So you feel everything. And I want Carter to hear it.”
Her breath catches again when I press my mask over my face, the eyeholes narrowing just enough that all I see is her. Just her. “Roll over, angel.”
She does with no hesitation. Her skin is warm in the pale morning light leaking between the curtains. Every line of her back, every soft curve of her hips, bracing for the kind of worship only I can give.
The rope glides over her skin as I drag it across her arms, down her spine, over the arch of her thighs. My fingers follow the path, just as slow.
“I dreamt about this,” I say quietly. “About tying you up and making you beg until you forget your own name.”
She moans softly into the pillow.
I bind her wrists, gentle and practiced. A loose knot, enough to make her gasp when I brush my mouth over the center of her spine.
“I could keep you like this forever, wrapped in rope, drunk on the way I look at you.”
I lean down again, letting my lips kiss a trail up her spine barely grazing, nothing but pressure. Her breath stutters. She presses back into me. “Say it.” I whisper into the crook of her neck.
She whimpers. “Say what?”
“Say you’re mine.”
“I’m yours Tate.”
That’s when I lose it fully, everything raw and messy and honest pours out of me. “I love you in a way that doesn’t make sense. I love you in red rope and sweat and quiet gasps. I love you so much it makes me fucking reckless Haven.” I pull the rope tighter.
Her whole body shivers, and I feel Carter shift behind us, but still asleep.
I untie the rope slightly and kiss the red marks I left behind.
I pull her back into my arms and hold her like I’ve never held anything so carefully in my life.
“I’ll always come back for you,” I whisper against her hair.
“No matter how far we go. No matter how much of myself I lose—I’ll come back. ”
She doesn’t say anything, just turns in my arms and kisses me like I didn’t just take her apart and put her back together again.
My grip on her tightens, one arm looping around her waist as I bring her flush against my chest. Her hands are still bound loosely with rope, the ends trailing across the sheets like silk ribbons. I don’t untie them yet. I like the way she looks like this.
“Still with me?” I murmur into the crook of her neck.
She nods, voice shaky but firm. “Yeah.”
The way she pushes her hips back tells me everything else I need to know.
I press my mouth to her shoulder, let my teeth drag against the skin, just hard enough to leave a mark, then soothe it with my tongue.
She gasps, the tension in her thighs tells me she’s close again, that every move I make is tipping her further over the edge.
I dip my hand into her shorts, rubbing soft circles on her clit.
“That’s it, pretty girl. Come apart for me again. ”
Her whole body goes still, then trembles with the kind of full-body shiver that says she’s giving me everything—her trust, her surrender, her pleasure.
I bury my face against her throat as the last of her shudders ripple through her. I press one last kiss between her shoulder blades and rest my forehead there, catching my breath.
And as the sun finally rises outside, cutting through the stillness of her room and brushing everything in warm gold, I know exactly what this was.
The diner is loud. The kind of morning chaos that smells like cinnamon pancakes and burnt coffee. Plates clatter and someone’s boots squeak against the linoleum. And yet… none of it bothers me like it usually would.
Sitting across from me, Haven is stealing bites of Carter’s hash browns.
Carter’s leaned into her shoulder, his thumb lazily tracing circles on her thigh beneath the table. I don’t even bother pretending not to look.
“Y’know,” I grin, “it’s really annoying how good you are at stealing attention and food.”
Haven rolls her eyes, smiling as she takes another bite and chews it way too slowly just to antagonize me. “Good thing you’re obsessed with me, then.”
“Painfully,” I say which makes Carter snort.
There’s a moment of quiet between us, the kind that only exists when things feel a little too perfect.
“I think I can quit.”
Carter looks up first. “What?”
She swallows,. “My part-time. I mean—between Twitch, the collab offers coming in after the win, sponsorship stuff… I ran the numbers. If things keep going even half as steady as they’ve been, I can go full-time with just streaming.”
Carter’s smile is instant. “You’re serious?”
“I wouldn’t say it unless I was sure,” she says softly. “I’ve been dreaming about this forever. And now… I think I’m really doing it.”
I shift forward, dropping my coffee onto the table with a small clink. “That’s huge.”
She nods. “Feels like it.”
“And you earned every second of it,” Carter says, beaming. “I’m so proud of you.”
Her eyes shimmer and her voice cracks just a little when she says, “I don’t think I would’ve made it without you two.”
Wrong. She would’ve, but fuck if we aren’t glad we get to be here anyway.
I reach across the table, dragging a sugar packet toward me, fingers brushing hers on purpose. “You’re not getting rid of us, you know. You’re stuck.”
“Good.”
Carter tugs Haven a little closer, and she leans into his side. “I still can’t believe you dropped Dylan like that,” he says, shaking his head like he’s reliving the match again. “His face? I wish I’d taken a screenshot.”
She laughs, and it’s the kind of sound that makes my blood buzz. “You should’ve seen him rage quit in the lobby chat afterward. Full meltdown in caps lock. The works.”
“I did see it,” I add. “I printed it out. Framed it. Plan to hang it on the back of the my bathroom door.”
She snorts. “You wouldn’t.”
“Watch me.”
Carter gives me a side-eye over his mug. “That’s weirdly on brand.”
We fall into a stretch of lazy chewing and shared glances after that, the kind of silence that feels earned. And then Haven glances between us, and I know something’s brewing behind those dark eyes.
“I know it’s not, like, a formal ask,” she starts slowly, “but I want you both to know… if I’m doing this full-time, I want you with me in it.”
Carter’s brows lift. “With you how?”
She shrugs, her eyes falling down to the table. “Streaming collabs. Duo queues. Chaos content. Maybe even a channel rebrand? I dunno. Co-Op Corrupted is kinda catchy…”
“You want to keep streaming with two guys who routinely try to kill each other with words?” I ask jokingly.
“I thrive in chaos.”
“You’re fucking insane,” I say nodding.
Carter grins. “We’ll make it work.”
“Yeah, we always do.”
Back at her apartment, the door clicks shut behind us, but none of us move at first.
Haven drops her keys into the bowl by the door and sighs, long and low, as she kicks her shoes off and pads toward the kitchen to get more coffee. Carter’s the one who closes the distance first, stepping behind her, arms slipping around her waist and pressing a kiss to her temple.
I hover near the couch and cross my arms. “So.”
Both of them look at me, Haven still tucked into Carter’s arms.
“I hate saying this, but we should probably head back soon.”
Carter’s smile falters. “Yeah.”
She looks between us like she’s searching for a loophole, like if she says the right thing, it’ll undo the ticking clock over our heads. “So… what, you’re leaving like right now?”
“Not yet,” Carter says quickly, rubbing her back and making eye contact with me. “But yeah… soon.”
I feel it too, the look on his face. That ugly, gnawing ache in the middle of my chest. The thought of walking out that door and not hearing her laugh through the apartment walls. The thought of sleeping without her smell tangled in the sheets.
Carter beats me to it. “Maybe we stop making temporary visits.”
Haven stares at him.
“What if we made it real?” he says softly. Streaming could be a full-time thing for you still. We’re doing this, Haves. So why not really do it?”
I glance at him, surprised. He’s serious. Her breath shudders as her eyes go glossy.
I step forward. My voice comes out rougher than I mean. “You want this angel?”
She doesn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“I hate saying this right after what just happened,” I say, grabbing the handle of my duffel bag and slinging it over my shoulder, “but we should head out.”
Carter doesn’t say anything at first. He’s still holding Haven, like he’s not quite ready to let her go either. Her face falls, and the little exhale she lets out is like a kick to the chest. “We’ll be back,” he promises, brushing his lips against her temple. “Soon.”
She nods, but her fingers tighten around his hoodie like she doesn’t want to believe it.
I force myself to move. One foot, then the other, toward the door that suddenly feels way heavier than it should.
“You sure you’ve got everything?” Carter asks, grabbing his laptop bag and slipping his keys from the hook by her door.
“Yeah,” I mutter, sparing one last glance toward her. “Except the part where we leave our girl behind.”
Her throat works around the words she doesn’t say. I step forward and press a kiss to her forehead. “You’re not alone. You won’t ever be.”
I take the wheel this time, letting Carter sink back beside me in the passenger seat. Haven’s apartment fades behind us in a blur of streetlights.
We don’t talk. Bass thumping through the speakers fills the space between us and I’m cool with that.
Carter taps his fingers along the dash, watching the road, but not saying a word.
I catch him glancing at me once, but I ignore it, keep my eyes on the street, let the vibration of the music and the tires on the asphalt eat away at the quiet tension in my chest.
Carter shifts beside me and leans back, trusting me to keep this long stretch of road safe. We’re both tuned into the same dark frequency.
The second we walk into our house, it feels too quiet. Too fucking empty.
I don’t even make it to my room before I drop my bag, toss my keys, and stalk toward my desk in my room. My headset’s in my hand when my phone buzzes.
Carter: She just texted me and said she’s setting up now.
I swipe open Discord and load in.
Ghost: Lobby’s open. Get your ass in here.
Carter joins before I even hit enter. “Haven,” he sighs, like her name alone could make this place feel less fucking empty.
Then she’s there, suddenly, I’m not in this dark, empty room anymore—I’m with her again.
Her camera flickers to life on my second monitor. She’s got her headset on, and one knee up in her chair like the chaotic menace she is. I can see the smirk forming before she even opens her mouth.
“All right, let’s wreck the leader board.”
She might not be in my bed tonight, wrapped around me, wrecked from everything I haven’t stopped thinking about since the second we left. But she’s ours, and I’ll burn this whole fucking server to the ground if anyone forgets that.