Chapter 40
PEYTON
I’d had makeup sex a handful of times in my life, and there was always a certain amount of both relief and release.
It always meant that whatever had driven us apart or put us out of step was dealt with.
Maybe not completely gone or resolved, but enough that we knew we could move past it.
Whatever lingering emotions we had from the fight, we channeled into the sex until neither of us could move and nothing felt insurmountable anymore.
When Avery pulled me down onto his mattress this time, it was all that and so much more.
This wasn’t just landing in bed because we were back on the same page—it was coming home.
I was absolutely turned on, hungry for his touch and aching to be inside him, but what we were doing now was a release in its own right.
As if I’d already come once and now we were just getting each other spun up again.
Except I hadn’t come yet. I hadn’t come since the last time we’d touched.
That hadn’t been all that long, really—not even forty-eight hours—but it felt like too damn long.
And yet, just holding him like this, making out while our hands rememorized each other’s bodies, was as much a relief as the most powerful orgasm I’d ever had.
How stupid was I to think this was a crutch? Or that he was half-assing any of this?
I moaned into his kiss and held him even tighter against me as I rolled us over onto my back.
He sighed into my kiss as he settled on top of me, and I was dizzy with need and relief.
Never again was I second-guessing him, and no way was I backing away from this because of past-driven fear.
All the therapy and God knew what else it would take to keep me from being scared of ghosts—well, I’d deal with that later.
Right now, all I wanted was Avery.
He broke the kiss, and I chased his mouth until our lips met again.
From the soft whimper, he didn’t mind at all, and we were lost in another long kiss that was somehow both languid and demanding.
A kiss for its own sake, but also a means of driving each other wild until we were both shaking with need.
He was shaking when he broke away this time, and he touched his forehead to mine as he breathlessly whispered, “Would it be too much to ask for you to fuck me until I scream?”
All the air rushed out of me as I arched under him, nearly coming just from his plea.
“Not… Not too much to ask at all.” I slid my hands up his back. “This might be quick if I do, though.”
His grin was beyond sexy. “Then you’ll just have to fuck me again, eh?”
Whatever smartass retort I might’ve had faded away as he rubbed his dick against mine. “God, Avery…”
“Is that a yes?”
“It’s an ‘anything you fucking want but get the damn lube already.’”
His laugh was wicked and when I looked up at him, so were his eyes.
Oh my God, I was so in love with him.
And I wanted him so, so bad.
“Get the lube,” I whispered, the words coming out as more of an order this time.
Avery got the lube.
That wasn’t to say we made much progress toward me sliding into him, though.
Too much making out. Too much getting lost in each other.
Even when we finally got the bottle open, we only got as far as slicking up my dick, and then his just for the hell of it, and suddenly we were pumping each other in between breathless kisses.
“We’re both gonna come this way,” I murmured against his lips. “We’re gonna—I want to fuck you, baby.”
He made a sound that was both hunger and protest, as if he couldn’t decide if he wanted to keep going like this or if he wanted what he’d originally asked for. Finally, though, he stopped, and when he lifted himself off me, it was my turn for a mix of “God, yes” and “wait, no.”
Then I was on my side next to him, his legs spread wide, and I indulged in more of his amazing kisses while I teased him open with slick fingers.
Long after he was taking my fingers easily, long after he was squirming and moaning and trying to fuck himself on my hand, I kept going.
Kept kissing him. Kept fingering him. Kept driving him higher and higher just because I could.
“Peyton.” He grabbed my arm and met my gaze with fire in his eyes. “Fuck me. Now.”
I bit back a groan. “How do you want it?”
He shook his head. “Don’t care. Just want your dick.”
I kissed him lightly. “Get on top.”
“Ooh. You like being ridden, don’t you?”
“You better believe it.” I lifted myself off him and got on my back. As he straddled me, I whispered, “What can I say? I love this view.”
Avery grinned. “So what you’re saying is—give you a show?”
I laughed, running my hands up his powerful thighs. “You already are, baby.”
He just chuckled.
I put on some more lube, and then I steadied myself as I guided him down onto my cock.
I liked this position a lot, but it also meant he could decide how fast and how deep he took me; I was well aware that my dick was on the bigger end, and that wasn’t so much a flex as it was a reason to be careful.
As much as I wanted to fuck him into oblivion, I didn’t want to hurt him.
Avery eased himself down a little at a time, and it was just as well we were in this position.
Not only could he control how deep and hard we went, I wasn’t expected to do anything except lie here and stare up at him, watching his pleasure play out across his face.
The flutters of his eyelids. The way his lips parted with soundless cries and curses.
His hair tumbling over his face when he let his head fall forward.
And all the while, being overwhelmed myself from moving inside him. From his slow, slick strokes. From how hot and tight he was. Oh my God, I couldn’t have kept up a rhythm or anything in that moment because I was just so mesmerized by him.
I was so, so glad I could really, truly feel him, too, even if that threatened to overwhelm me.
I’d have happily worn a condom if that was what he wanted, but as I slid home, I was so damn glad we were going raw.
The heat, the slick tightness—it just wouldn’t be the same with that layer between us.
I wanted to feel him, and oh, yeah, I did.
Every stroke. Every moan. When he rocked his hips and changed the angle, we both gasped, and all I could do was push up into him and try not to lose my mind.
“Oh my God,” he whispered, letting his head fall back. He sounded on the edge of tears as he ground out, “I fucking love your dick.”
I just moaned, trying not to go insane as I matched his rhythm.
Like a lot of guys did when they bottomed, he’d gone soft, but he was getting hard again.
I grabbed the lube, poured some on my hand, and I reveled in that strangled moan as I started stroking him back to full attention.
He changed his movements again, fucking into my fist as he impaled himself on my cock.
“You are so hot like this, baby,” I slurred. “Jesus…”
Avery bit his lip and moved faster. I matched him as best I could, and together we picked up more and more speed. He was rock-hard in my hand now, too.
“Do you want to come like this?” I panted.
He squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered before he gazed down at me. “You want me to?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I’m…” I arched under us as a shiver ran through me. “Oh, God. Yeah. I won’t be far behind you if you do.”
That drew a deliciously helpless moan out of him, and he was the one to shiver this time, tightening around my dick as his rhythm faltered for a couple of strokes.
He recovered, though, moving even faster than before—oh, yeah, we were on a mission now.
Round two could be long and indulgent; I needed us both to get off this time before I went absolutely out of my mind.
I needed him to clench hard around me, come all over me, and drive me over that edge to my own desperately needed climax.
“Oh, God,” he rasped. “Don’t… Don’t stop. Don’t…” He leaned forward enough to grab the headboard, and he used that leverage to ride me so damn hard, so damn fast—
“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna come,” I slurred. “Oh, fuck… Fuck, I’m—”
Avery’s whole body jerked, and he cried out as his hole clenched impossibly tightly around me, and then hot cum landed on my stomach.
I didn’t even know what I was saying—just mumbling and babbling as his orgasm sent me crashing into my own.
I let go of his cock, grabbed his hips, and pulled him down on me, and I shouted God only knew what as I came inside him.
With one last shudder, I stilled.
Above me, Avery was trembling and out of breath, and I wrapped my arms around him and tugged him down. I didn’t worry about the cum or the sweat. We’d take a shower in a minute.
First, though, I wanted to just hold him while we both came back to earth.
All my earlier emotions came back to the surface as I held my shaking, panting boyfriend against me. When I closed my eyes, I wasn’t at all surprised to squeeze a couple of hot tears free.
Stroking his hair, I sighed into the quiet.
We were here. We were back.
I was home.
It took a shower, a marathon fuck in almost every position I knew, and another shower before we finally collapsed into a satisfied heap in his rumpled bed.
He had his arm around my shoulders, and I rested my head on his chest, and for the longest time, we just lay in comfortable silence.
I think I even dozed off for a little while. I know he did.
What eventually drove us out of bed was our growling stomachs. We were hockey players, after all, and there was only so long we could go without eating, especially after engaging in some, shall we say, intense cardio.
We ended up ordering delivery from that awesome Thai place again. While we waited, we settled in Avery’s living room, curled together on the couch instead of sitting too far apart.
“I feel so much better,” he said on a happy sigh.
I chuckled. “Most people would after a couple of orgasms.”
“Well. Yeah.” He drew away enough that he could look at me. “But I meant… about everything else. Being back here again.”
Sobering, I nodded, and I ran my fingers through his hair as I said, “Me too. It feels like we were apart a lot longer than two days.”
“Yeah. It does.” He clasped my hand in his and brought it up to kiss my palm. “I’m just lucky you’re this stubborn.”
“And I’m lucky you were willing to listen, so I think we’re even.”
He cuddled a little closer to me. “Eh. I’m not keeping score.”
“Neither am I.” I stroked his hair again. “And… I’m sorry. For freaking out on you.”
Avery was already shaking his head. “No.” He sat up again, opening up more space between us but not letting go of my hand.
“You had a lot going on that I didn’t know about.
Sounds like stuff even you didn’t know about.
” He ran his thumb along the back of mine.
“I think we can just chalk this up to both of us realizing we need some help, but we can still make this work.”
I nodded as he spoke. “Yeah. It’s been… eye-opening, that’s for sure.”
“It has.” He searched my eyes. “And you really think seeing a counselor would be good for us? Together, I mean?”
“Absolutely. We’re both coming into this with a lot of baggage that we don’t need to trip over, you know?” I trailed my fingers down his cheek. “So let’s talk to someone while we’re still good instead of waiting for problems to crop up.”
Avery blinked. “Oh. Hell. I never thought of that. People usually go to counseling when they’re already in trouble. I didn’t even realize it was an option when…” He gestured at himself, then me. “When things are okay, you know?”
“I never thought about it before, but this whole thing—it spooked me. I’d rather we nip things in the bud than let it get as ugly as my parents’ marriage did.”
His forehead creased. “They’re still together, aren’t they?”
“They are. And they’re happy now. But…” I whistled, shaking my head. “It was pretty bad there for a while.”
“I bet.” He kissed my palm again. “I agree—let’s not do that.”
I smiled and reeled him in for a kiss. “So… off season? We’ll find someone for us?”
Avery nodded. “Good idea. Things are going to get pretty crazy soon. Playoffs and all that.”
“Yep. And you’ll be back to playing again soon, too.”
“Yeah. I will.” He smiled faintly, but he dropped his gaze as some worry crept into his expression.
I tipped up his chin. “What?”
“Just…” He pressed his lips together, then took a breath. “My conditioning loan starts next week. So I’ll be in Wheeling until I’m reactivated.”
My heart sank a little. We’d just put ourselves back on the rails after that brief but awful bump in the road. I wasn’t ready to be away from him. “It’s only a couple of weeks, though.”
“Yeah. It’s… It won’t be bad.” He swallowed hard. “I’m not worried about that part. Being away from you, yeah, but…” He trailed off as his eyes lost focus.
“So… what’s bothering you?”
“Getting reactivated.” He flicked his gaze back to mine again. “I’ve been gone for—God, almost two months. What if I’ve lost a step? What if I can’t get back to how I was playing before?”
“You’ve been on LTIR before, haven’t you? For even longer?”
He nodded.
“This won’t be any different, will it?”
“Except it will.” His shoulders dipped a little. “When I’m out with a broken jaw or a concussion, everyone gets it. It’s an injury—they happen. But being out for…” His face colored and he dropped his gaze.
“I know a lot of people can be shitty about addiction,” I whispered. “But you know the guys can’t wait to have you back. The fans, too—they’ve been asking about you for a while. They want you back.”
“Yeah?”
“Of course.” I leaned in and pressed a kiss to his temple.
“You’ll see. Everyone’s been rooting for you.
Everyone.” I carded my fingers through his hair.
“Anyone who thinks less of you for grieving and for needing help—their opinion isn’t worth a damn.
The people who care about you—including the fans—want you to be healthy, and they want you back playing hockey as soon as you’re ready.
” I smiled. “I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised when you come back. ”
He held my gaze, uneasiness still etched all over his expression. After a moment, he relaxed, though some of the uncertainty lingered. “I guess we’ll find out after I get back from Wheeling, won’t we?”
“Yeah. We will.”
I understood why he was nervous. In his skates, I’d probably feel the same way.
But I knew our team. I knew the fans.
And I knew all the way to my core that Avery had nothing to worry about.