Chapter 8 Aaron
eight
Aaron
Oh. My. God. I cannot believe how good it feels to have Nick’s arms around me.
I want to live here forever as the fatigue and mind fog I’ve been feeling all day disappear.
I would chalk it up to the catnap I had while Nick was showering, but really, I started feeling better as soon as I stepped into Nick’s apartment.
Something about being with him brought me back to life.
And then there’s the care and concern he’s shown for Kit’s well-being.
Mine, too, if I’m being honest with myself. When he asked who takes care of me, I just about broke down because I knew he recognized how much work I’ve been doing to hold everyone else together. He’s not at all what I expected when we met.
Too soon, though, I get self-conscious about leaning against him. As much as I don’t want to move, I feel like I should, so I fake a huge yawn and pull away from him. It’s got to be my imagination that makes it seem as if he holds on until he has to let go, and I miss the feel of him immediately.
He slides off the couch, remaining close enough I feel the heat of his body.
“You’ve got to be exhausted,” he says.
I open my mouth to deny it when another yawn—this one real—takes hold and makes it impossible to deny the truth of what Nick said. “Pretty much,” I say. I look down at Kit. “He seems to be doing better. We can probably get him down to my car so you can have your place back.”
Nick looks out the window as if considering what I offered.
“What if you stay here?” he asks. “I’ll watch Kit, and you can get some sleep.”
“It’s almost three in the morning,” I say. “You’ve got to be wiped out as well.”
He turns back toward me. “I’m kind of a night owl anyway, plus I had a couple of Red Bulls and vodka after my friends dragged me out to the club, so I’m fine. I wasn’t planning on getting much sleep tonight anyway.” The lopsided, almost embarrassed smile he gives me just about kills me.
“I’m sorry Kit ruined your evening.”
He shrugs and shakes his head. “It’s fine. I was there more to be with my friends then to find a hookup.” Another shrug. “I mean if the opportunity presented itself, sure, but I haven’t really been looking since…”
As his voice trails off, his gaze finds mine, and I’m reminded again that Zack’s death didn’t just affect the people who knew him.
Nick’s dealing with fallout from that night as well.
Maybe it’s because I know he feels like he has something to make up for, that he feels as if his aborted hookup with my brother played a role in Zack’s murder, or maybe it’s only that I want to spend more time with him, but I agree to stay.
It takes a bit more convincing for me to accept the offer of Nick’s bed, but I eventually give in on that as well and follow him down the stairs.
“That’s the bathroom,” Nick says with a nod to one of the three doors.
“And that’s my office.” He pushes the third door open, and I follow him into a room that looks a heck of a lot nicer than my bedroom with soft gray walls and a king-sized Mission style bed with the fluffiest looking dark gray comforter pulled neatly across its top.
The color in the room comes from the half dozen purple pillows of various sizes, shapes, and gradations that are piled against the headboard.
It looks so inviting, I almost yawn again from looking at it.
“My friend Min,” Nick says as he removes the decorative pillows to reveal the more functional set. “She’s an interior decorator, and she always gives me pillows because I told her once they’re like fat litter for your bedroom.”
He sounds so put-upon that I laugh and help him remove the last two.
“The sheets are clean, but if you’d prefer, I’ll get you a blanket and you can sleep on top of the comforter.”
“Thanks,” I say and take a moment after Nick disappears into the ensuite to really take in his room.
I’m immediately drawn to a framed image hung over his dresser.
It looks like…yes! It’s a sketch of one of my favorite characters from Undercover Ops, my favorite web comic.
“This is very cool,” I say as he comes back into the room with a plush blanket in his arms. “I love Cypher X. I wish he was in more episodes.”
“I’ll let Ty know,” he says. He tosses the blanket onto the bed.
“You’ll let…you know the guy who does Undercover Ops?” I step to the side of the bed and help him spread the blanket out.
“Yeah. Ty’s been one of my best friends since second grade.”
“So…does that mean Cypher X is you?”
Nick laughs. “Kind of. I mean, I help Ty out with computer shit.” He shrugs. “I do IT for law firms, but, yeah, Ty created that character after his laptop crashed, and I was able to recover everything for him.” Smoothing the last wrinkle out, he nods at the bed. “Well…”
There’s a moment of awkwardness as our gazes meet, and I swear Nick blushes before he says something about getting back upstairs. I nod before I do something stupid like asking him to stay.
I climb into Nick’s bed as he closes the door behind himself and settle against pillows that smell like him.
My mind races, suddenly wide awake, and every inch of my skin is aware that I am in Nick’s bed.
Feeling self-conscious, I pull one of his pillows close and wrap my hands around it, denying to myself how deeply I want to inhale the citrusy tang of Nick’s shampoo, the traces of vanilla and clove from his aftershave, and the spicy, masculine scent of his skin.
Eventually, my mind slows, my body relaxes, and my eyes close. I sleep better than I have in weeks and wake to the sound of Kit chattering away upstairs.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” Kit says as I emerge onto the top floor.
He’s standing in Nick’s kitchen in what I can only assume are borrowed sweats since he wasn’t wearing them last night and he sure as fuck didn’t pack an overnight bag.
His hair is still damp, so I assume he also took a shower.
And, he’s holding a spatula which I can only assume is to flip the pancakes that are cooking in a pan on the stove.
“How are you feeling?” I ask as he turns to Nick’s Keurig and swaps out the used pod for a new one, then places a mug underneath and presses the button to start the coffee brewing.
“Bit of a headache, bit dehydrated, but not too bad.” He lifts a bottle of Gatorade and shakes it at me. “Nick’s making sure I’m drinking enough.”
Nick sits on a stool at the breakfast bar, a half-finished plate of pancakes sitting in front of him. He grins at me. “Some people have all the luck,” he says. “I’d probably be in bed with the covers over my head.”
I laugh, and Kit places the freshly made mug of coffee in front of the stool next to Nick’s. Taking that as an indication of where I’m supposed to sit, I slide onto the stool. “You’re letting him cook?” I ask.
“Hey!” Kit shakes the spatula at me. “This is my way of saying thank you for taking care of me last night.”
“Yeah. But who nearly burned my mom’s kitchen down when he was thirteen?” Beside me, Nick snorts.
“That was Zack’s fault, not mine.” The playfulness disappears from Kit’s voice, and he turns back to the stove, but I see the slight slump in his shoulders that doesn’t come from him flipping pancakes.
Fuck.
I get up from my seat and walk over to him, put my arm around his shoulder.
“Don’t,” Kit says before I open my mouth.
“I know what I did was stupid, okay? And that I was lucky someone was there to help.” He turns his head and nods at Nick.
“And I know I probably need to talk to someone before I do something that can’t be undone.
” Bumping his hip against mine, he leans his head against my shoulder. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
“It was mostly Nick.”
“Don’t sell yourself short,” Nick says. “As soon as I called, you came right over.”
“Well, thank you both,” Kit says as he reaches for a plate and deposits four perfectly fluffy, perfectly round pancakes onto it, then shoves it into my hands. “Eat.”
I return to the stool next to Nick, pour maple syrup over the stack, and dig in. “These are amazing,” I say around a mouthful of buttery goodness. “Thank you, Kit.”
Kit nods and turns back to the stove to make more pancakes because, at the rate I’m going, I will be done with these in under a minute.
“So, I was thinking,” Nick says, and I pause between bites to lift my head and take him in. He looks tired, but not all that bad for having been up all night.
“Yeah?” I chase the last bite of pancake around my plate to soak up all the remaining syrup.
Nick takes a sip of his coffee and nods. “Yeah. My friends and I get together a couple of times a month for drinks and shit. Would you want to…I don’t know…come out with us next time? Ty’ll be there, and I can introduce you.”
I damn near choke on the food in my mouth. “Seriously?” I finally manage.
Grinning, Nick nods. “Don’t get any ideas though, Ty’s all but engaged to this guy he met on jury duty this year.
We’d be taking bets on when they’ll make it official, but they started going out on Valentine’s Day, so there’s no point because those guys are all heart-eyes for each other.
We’re expecting they’ll do something sappy and uber-romantic. ”
“That’s so sweet,” Kit says as he places more pancakes in front of us.
“How big a batch did you make?” I ask. “Not that I’m complaining.” I fork another three onto my plate, and Nick takes the remaining one. “Sorry. Do you want...?” I indicate my stack, but Nick shakes his head.
“It’s kind of sickening,” Nick says. “They’re all cuddled up together whenever we go out now. I mean, Cam’s a great guy and all, and he fit into our group better than anyone ever has, but it’s still kind of…I don’t know. Ignore me. It’s nice to see Ty so happy.” He looks at me. “So, do you wanna?”
“Say yes, Aaron. You know you want to.”
I glare at Kit, but then sigh. “You’re sure it’ll be okay?”
“Positive.” Nick nods at Kit. “You can come, too, if you promise to stay out of trouble.”
Kit finally gives Nick a look that is the pure sass I’m more familiar with from Zack’s BFF. “I can’t promise anything, honey, but I’ll be on my best behavior.”
“And that is all we can ask,” I say.
“So,” Kit says as soon as I start the car. “Tell me everything that happened while I was passed out.”
“You don’t remember anything?” I ask, and when Kit shakes his head, I glare at him. “What the fuck did you take?”
Kit shrugs. “Obviously something I shouldn’t have. I’ll do better reading the labels next time, dad. It fucking happens sometimes, okay?” He glares back at me. “Stop avoiding my question. What happened?”
“Nothing.”
The look Kit gives me is one I’m so familiar with from Zack that my throat closes up with sudden grief. It’s the look that says, “don’t bullshit me,” and Zack used it mercilessly when he thought I was holding something back from him.
“Nothing happened,” I repeat. “We talked a bit. Nick took a shower. Alone. I fell asleep at his table, and he offered me his bed. And he stayed upstairs to watch you because there was an incident when you started puking and we had to make sure you didn’t aspirate on your own vomit.
He wanted to make sure it didn’t happen again. ”
“So, you’re saying, if I hadn’t been there you guys would have hooked up.”
“I am not saying that. If you hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t have been either. End of story.”
“Girl, he invited you on a date.”
“It’s not a date. He’s getting together with his friends and asked me if I wanted to join them so I could meet…” I stop speaking because Kit is grinning at me. “You know what, never mind.”
We’re on Fell heading toward Golden Gate Park, which is the quickest route to Kit’s house.
But we’re now stuck in the endless progression of lights that are timed, and I’m hitting each one red because Kit distracted me too much to remember to slow down to the right speed.
Silence fills the car every time I stop because I refuse to look at Kit or engage with him on this topic while he’s sitting in the passenger seat smiling like I just handed him the best Christmas present ever.
“He invited you, too,” I finally say which makes Kit laugh.
“How are you so bad at this?” he asks. “Inviting you out with his friends is a low-key way to spend more time with you without putting pressure on either one of you. Like, if it doesn’t go well, it’s no biggie because it was just hanging out.
But, if it does go well, he can ask you back to his place afterward.
Plus, it lets his friends check you out and sign off on you. ”
“It’s not like that,” I say. “His friend does this webcomic I like, and he offered to introduce me.”
“Hm hmm. Whatever you say. I’m going to go to this friend meetup thing just to watch your face when you realize how wrong you are. That guy? He wants you.”
When I scoff at the idea—because, seriously? I’m boring, and Nick is…amazing—Kit rolls his eyes. “What? You don’t think you’re attractive?”
“I’m okay,” I say.
“Okay?” Kit’s tone is incredulous. “Trust me, Aaron, you’re more than okay.”
Something in his voice makes me glance at him, but Kit’s staring out the window as we cut through the park so I can’t see his expression.
We don’t talk for the few minutes left in the drive to Kit’s place.
I pull into a short driveway in front of the 1940s bungalow he shares with several people including three who are one half of a polycule.
Kit has tried to explain the dynamics of that relationship but seeing as how I’ve never successfully navigated a monogamous relationship, there’s no way I’d be able to handle being involved with five people at the same time.
Kit thanks me for taking care of him the night before but pauses before opening the car door. “When Nick contacts you about this friend thing, promise me you’ll go,” he says. “Because, in case you haven’t noticed, you kind of like him back.”
He gets out of the car before I can formulate an answer, closes the door, and waves to me before walking away.
Watching him until he disappears inside the house, my mind is a tangle of confusion, denial, and the frustration of knowing that even if Nick wants me as Kit said, it might not mean he’s looking for more than sex.
And I need to know there’s a possibility of more before we have a chance of anything happening between us.