Epilogue
Nick
“We find the defendant guilty.”
I’m sitting beside Aaron, our hands entwined so tightly I’m losing feeling in my fingers.
But I don’t care because the moment the verdict is read, he turns to me and collapses in tears on my shoulder.
Despite the awkwardness of sitting on the hard benches in the courtroom gallery, I wrap him in my arms and let him sob.
Around us, his family, Zack’s friends, and several of my own are embracing, wiping tears from their eyes, and coming to terms with the fact that the man who killed Zack has just been convicted of the crime.
It’s an overwhelming moment, but my concern is Aaron and making sure he’s all right.
A hand lands on my shoulder, and I look up to see Aaron’s father.
He pats me a couple of times, then nods and moves on to a cluster of Zack’s friends.
My heart warms that he knows I can take care of Aaron.
And I will. I may not always be perfect, but I love the man I’m holding in my arms, and I will always be there for him if he needs me.
Kit is noticeably absent in the courtroom, but he had to be away from San Francisco for work this week.
Aaron’s told me he thinks Kit made up that excuse because he couldn’t handle sitting through the trial, and maybe that’s true.
Kit’s still in pretty bad shape, and no one seems to know what to do.
My friends—bless them all—have seamlessly folded Aaron and Kit into our group, and our monthly get-togethers have moved into a rotating roster of our homes because no restaurant can hold us all without a lot of advance warning.
Especially when Kit brings some of his and Zack’s friends along as well.
But all that social activity doesn’t mean Kit isn’t still noticeably flailing.
It’s given Aaron more than one sleepless night since we moved in together five months ago.
I glance around the courtroom as I place kisses on Aaron’s head and rub my hands over his back.
These people have become my family, I realize.
My friends already were, but now that word embraces Aaron’s friends and family as well.
They’ve accepted and supported and, yes, loved me, and I am so grateful to be here for all of them on this momentous day.
The defendant, now a convicted murderer, rises from his seat when the bailiff and police officers move into position, ready to escort him back to his cell.
In the gallery, we fall silent. Those of us who are still seated rise as they handcuff the man and then lead him out of the courtroom.
Once he’s out of our sight, we all breathe a collective sigh that is equal parts relief and regret.
While we wanted the conviction, while Aaron and his family deserved closure and Zack deserved justice, we have also talked about how this moment would feel if the jury agreed with the prosecution.
I don’t think anything could have prepared us for the enormity of it, the sheer overwhelm of emotions, and the bitter sorrow that two random people met up in a dark alley and only one walked away.
“We’d like to have everyone come over to our house this evening,” Aaron’s mother says. “It’s not going to be a party. There’s nothing really to celebrate here, but I think we all need to be with each other tonight.”
There are murmurs and nods of agreement, but I turn to Aaron.
“How are you doing?”
He gives me a half-smile and shakes his head. “I don’t know. I’m not sure it’s sunk in yet that it’s all over.”
“The case at least,” I say and melt a bit inside when Aaron’s gaze turns soft like it always does when I show him how clearly I see him, how much I care about him.
“I love you,” he says.
“I love you, too,” I respond, leaning in for a quick kiss.
They clear us out of the courtroom, and our group spends a few more minutes in the hallway exchanging hugs.
Helen reminds everyone about coming over that night.
“Don’t worry about bringing anything, we’ll pick up some roasted chickens and sides on the way home,” she says as a couple of Zack’s friends make their good-byes.
Aaron and I hug her, hug Robert, then Ty and Roman wrap me up in their arms and tell me to take good care of Aaron.
“Of course,” I say. “I am the world’s best boyfriend. I’ve even got a mug at home to prove it.” Which I actually do have because Aaron gave it to me for my birthday last month.
Ty shakes his head at me but doesn’t give voice to his disbelief that I am one hundred percent on board with using the b-word—which makes me glad—but he still can’t quite get over the fact that I’m in a monogamous and exclusive relationship.
It’s okay. I feel that way myself sometimes, but then I look at Aaron and know this is what I want. With him. For the rest of our lives.
Aaron and I say our goodbyes and head to the parking garage to reclaim his car and go home. Even though it’s only one in the afternoon, I’m exhausted, so I can’t imagine how Aaron’s feeling. I offer to drive, and he gratefully hands over the keys.
As I drive through the city to Noe Valley, Aaron plays with the hair on the back of my neck.
I can tell he's drifting off when his hand stills. I hate to wake him as I pull into our garage, but we’re home, and we both need to reclaim some of the sleep we lost last night worrying about jury deliberations going into a second day.
“Come on, sleepyhead,” I say as I release his seatbelt. I lay a soft kiss on his lips. “Time to get some real sleep.”
We’re met at the garage door by a wiggling ball of fluff in the form of our Soft-Coated Wheaton Terrier, Sophia.
She’s nine months old, adorable, and totally Aaron’s dog.
Case in point, she ignores me completely in favor of greeting Aaron with soft woofles, her short tail wagging a mile a minute.
I’d be jealous except that when she’s done greeting him, she comes over to me. I squat down so she can give me kisses.
“I’ll walk her,” I say looking up at Aaron. “You go take a shower and get in bed.”
“Sounds good,” he says and heads upstairs.
I collect Sophia’s leash and take her for a short walk around the block.
By the time I’m back, Aaron is sound asleep in our bed.
It gives me a moment to take him in. This incredible man who came into my life in the oddest of ways has become the center of it.
I’m pretty sure there will be a ring soon and then a wedding.
I know for a fact that there’s already a pool for who’s going to pop the question as well as when it will happen because Sash let it slip about a month ago.
At the time, it freaked me out, but now, as I think about all the people who were at the courthouse and envision them watching Aaron and me exchange vows, I realize it’s what I want.
I want this man to be my husband. Now, it’s just a matter of figuring out when to ask him.
And completely misleading my friends about what I’m planning.
THE END