Chapter One
Dean
Ishifted my weight from one foot to the other as I waited for Beau Whitlock to answer the door of his hotel room.
My stomach flipped and clenched as I looked around the hallway, not sure if any of his teammates were going to see me.
I could say that I wasn’t scared someone would recognize me, but that would be a lie.
I was a little worried. I had a couple of boxes of hair dye in the plastic bag hanging from my wrist. I had planned to change my normal color of green to pink, but until I did that—
The sound of the door unlocking caused my attention to fly back in front of me. Beau gave me an easy smile when he saw me, dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a Boston hockey jersey, his inky colored hair damp as it curled around his ears.
“You came.” He opened the door wider so I could step inside his hotel room.
“Did you think I wouldn’t show?” I moved inside and was hit with the scent of spicy aftershave. It was soothing, with a hint of citrus and mint. I could feel his gaze at my back, and when I turned around, Beau’s eyes darted from my ass to my face.
“Were you just checking me out?”
He shrugged. “Shamelessly” He made no move to apologize or cover up the fact that he was doing just that, and I wondered if I should be bothered.
I wasn’t. In fact, I was kind of curious about how far I would let myself go with Beau if he tried anything.
He was still standing by the door, which was now shut, with his arms folded across his massive chest, and I took the chance to admire his tattoos.
I had my own, but Beau was covered in them.
My eyes flicked to the brightly colored graphic on his biceps, and I tilted my head to get a better look.
“What’s that?”
“This?” Beau pulled up the shirt to reveal a pair of hockey sticks, a puck, and gloves. “Sort of a rite of passage with my teammates. It was my first. What about you?”
I nodded as I shoved the sleeve of my shirt up over my shoulder to expose my inked skin.
It was a guitar; my actual guitar that I had learned to play on, and I was proud of it.
“I never thought I would end up covered like Killian, but it turns out, I like the way it feels. The pain of the needles as they push in and out of my skin. Sitting there for hours and watching art appear on my skin.”
“Your skin is perfect for tattoos.” Beau stepped closer.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe with him this close to me. It was like he sucked all the air out of the room, making me feel like I was going to choke. I stared up at him as he towered over me and watched the way his pale blue eyes moved over my face. “I... What are you doing?”
“Relax, Dean,” he murmured. “I won’t touch you unless you tell me it’s okay. This is all on your terms. We can be just friends if that’s what you want. You said you were going to dye your hair? I like the green.”
I swallowed nervously. “I wanted to do something different. It’s been this color since I was a kid, and... I don’t know. It could be a bad idea. Do you think it’s stupid?”
“What color did you get?”
“Pink.”
Beau’s mouth turned up into a big smile, and goosebumps broke out over my skin. He was handsome. Wait. No. I wasn’t into dudes. Was I? Could I be into him? Would I let him kiss me if he asked? I might. His lips looked soft and inviting.
“Pink would look good. I think you should try it. Do you want some help?”
“You’d do that?” I asked.
He nodded. “Sure. We can do it here if you want.”
“That would be great. The last time I colored it, I made a mess, missed half of the back of my head, and ended up staining my neck as well as my fingers. Not my best look.” I chuckled softly.
“You don’t get it done professionally?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Nah, I mean, I could, but this reminds me of when I was younger. Like the first time, you know? When Kill and I were just thirteen and stupid. My hands were stained for weeks. I thought my parents were going to fucking murder me when I came home, but they barely blinked an eye. It was usually Maverick who got in trouble.” I grimaced when I realized I said too much.
“You’re close to your brother,” Beau commented. If he noticed I wasn’t comfortable talking about my parents, he didn’t mention it. And for that, I was grateful.
I smiled. “We had a few years where things were weird between us, but we’re good now. What about you? Any siblings?”
“I have a younger sister, Samantha.” Beau didn’t offer up anything else before he reached for the bag on my wrist. “May I?”
I handed it to him. “Nothing fancy. The same shit I always buy.”
“Manic Panic. I didn’t know they still made this crap. It’s been around since...” He stopped to pin me with those blue eyes. “Well, at least since I was a kid.”
“You say that like you’re older or something.”
“I’m older than you think.”
I scoffed. “Whatever, dude. Talk to me when you’re thirty.” But when he didn’t laugh, I stared at him with curiosity. “Uh, how old are you?”
“You want to dye your hair now?” Beau avoided the question.
I did not. “Wait, you’re not going to answer me?” Why was this such a weird thing for him?
“You can Google the answer to any questions you might have about me, Dean.” He started toward what I assumed was the bathroom.
I could, but I wanted him to tell me. When I followed him, I found him placing towels on the floor in front of the bathtub before he glanced over his shoulder to look at me.
“You have more questions?”
“I might.”
I met his eyes in the mirror, my gaze moving over his face. I couldn’t hide the reaction my body was having to him. This strange buzzing under my skin. It was something that had never happened to me before when it came to a man. Or a woman, for that matter, now that I thought about it.
Beau smirked. “I’m sure you do.”
“Why are you being so secretive?” I was more than curious now. Not that I cared. Okay, lie. I did. I was a nosey fucker when I wanted to be.
“I’ll tell you what.” He turned around to face me. “I’ll answer any questions you may have, if you do the same for me.”
I could do that. “Sure, of course, ask anything. I’m an open book.”
“Fine, I’ll go first.” Wait, now? “Have you ever been with a man before?” Beau asked.
Heat prickled at my skin. “Uh, no.”
“Elaborate.” Beau waved his fingers at me. “Why not? Just curious, because that’s fine by me. I’ll be your curiosity fuck if you want.” He sounded like he might be upset now.
“I wasn’t...” I held my hands. “That’s not what this is.”
He narrowed his blue eyes. “Then what is it? Bored tonight? Your best friend is gay, right? You ever kissed him or thought about it? Maybe curious about what it would be like to be with him?”
“No, Killian’s not...he’s bi, but we never... Not once. He’s like a brother to me.”
There was something electric in this room right now. Something I couldn’t put a finger on. Maybe it was the way Beau was looking at me or the way he made me feel desired. Not for being Dean Frost, the guitar player of Mulligan Downtown, but for just being me.
“Killian and Matthias. They are constantly going at it. Like, all the time.”
Beau stepped closer to me. “Does it turn you on when you hear them?”
“Yes,” I whispered. My cock suddenly throbbed in my jeans. Oh. Oh, wow. It was nearly painful.
Another step closer. “You wanted to know what it was like? What they’re experiencing?” He was so close I could smell the mint from his toothpaste. See the way his eyes flashed with desire.
“Fuck yes.” I groaned. “They sound like they’re really enjoying it. Sex has always been fun for me, but not like that.” If he touched me now, I wouldn’t stop him. I would welcome him with open arms.
“Why me?” Beau asked. “Why not some faceless stranger you never had to see again?”
My eyes dipped to his mouth. Pink lips that were nicer than any girls I had seen, and I meant that. They looked soft. I bet they tasted amazing. “You...”
“I’m attracted to you. Is that it, Dean?
” When I nodded, Beau used one finger to tilt my head back up to meet his ocean blue eyes.
“You wanted someone who wanted you.” I swallowed down the nerves in my throat.
“Someone who would take care of you, make sure your needs were taken care of before their own. No one has ever done that for you before, have they?” He leaned forward so his lips were against my ear.
“I can do all of those things for you, but I meant what I said. You have to tell me. You have to say the words.”
Beau’s eyes were wide as he waited for my answer.
He was so close that if I reached out, I could touch him.
Touch him. I itched to dig my fingers into the front of his shirt, but I held back.
I was no novice when it came to sex, but when it came to sex with a man?
I had no idea what to do. I didn’t want to mess it up.
“What does it feel like?”
“To be with a man or the sex?”
“Both.”
Beau moved to turn the water on in the tub, the heat from his body no longer near me. I wasn’t like my brother, who was always cold and searching for warmth, but I was suddenly freezing without him near me.
“It’s different from being with a woman.
Women are soft, have curves and smell like fruit or flowers.
Men, we’re harder, have muscles in places you wouldn’t notice until you touch them.
We can be rough with one another without being afraid of breaking.
” He glanced over his shoulder at me again.
“My first time with a man was when I was eighteen. He was older, more experienced, but like you, I was curious.” Beau motioned for me to come closer.
“We’re going to take care of your hair now. ”
I slowly knelt down in front of the tub. “And you liked it? Being with another man?” My entire body trembled with anticipation as I waited for his answer. Would I like it? I thought I would.
“Obviously.” Beau chuckled. “I prefer to be with men, but I’ll take whatever I can get.” I heard the rustle of the plastic bag as he took out the hair dye. I had gotten bleach to get out the green and then the pink. “You’re sure about this?”
I nodded. “Yes.” But I wasn’t sure if he was talking about the color or being with him. The answer was for both questions.
“Okay.” There was amusement in his voice.
“You might want to take off your shirt, so we don’t ruin it.
” Then he was behind me, his chest at my back, turning on the water in the tub as I removed my top.
“Relax, Dean.” Beau’s voice was in my ear as he gently pushed my head forward.
He slowly wet my hair, and I let out a low groan as he massaged my head.
My cock stiffened in my jeans again. He reached up to flip off the faucet, and I felt a towel wrap around my shoulders.
I glanced behind me to watch Beau get the bleach kit together without a word.
When our eyes met, he smiled at me, and I felt a blush creep up my neck.
“I appreciate the help.” I needed to fill the awkwardness with something.
Anything to not think about how hard my dick was right now.
The ache in my balls. The need to come. I wanted Beau to kiss me.
I want to feel his big, hard body against mine.
I’d let him do just about anything to me right now.
“I don’t mind.” He moved back toward me. “My sister is a hairdresser. I might have helped her a time or two.” He coated my hair with the bleach solution, and the smell made my cock soften. “What made you pick green the first time?”
I grinned. “Kill said it matched my eyes.”
“It does. Tilt your head to the left for me?” Beau’s shirt brushed my bare back, and my length perked back up again. “You think your fans will be upset? That you changed it?”
I bit my lip. “Probably, but they’ll get over it. They did when I pierced my tongue.” I caught the way his breath hitched. Huh, guess he liked that. “You have any piercings?”
“Can’t say I do. Can you move your head down for me, Dean?”
I did as he asked. “You and Jackson been playing together long?” I wanted to get back to the age thing.
Beau clucked his tongue against the roof of his tongue. “You’re curious about how old I am.” He dragged his fingers through my hair, causing me to bite back a moan. “I’m thirty-eight.” His hands paused on my head. “Does that bother you?”
“Should it?” I turned to look at him, his blue eyes hooded with desire. “You think being with someone older would be a problem for me?”
Beau shrugged. “It’s more than a few years. Turn back around so I can finish.” I did as he asked, and neither one of us spoke again until he was done. “You need to wait thirty minutes before rinsing this out.”
I felt him move away from me, and I stood up, then turned around. “I’ve been with older women,” I blurted. Beau’s back went rigid. “Age is just a number, man. I don’t care.”
His eyes met mine in the mirror again, but he didn’t say anything as he peeled off the gloves, then washed his hands in the sink. Then he left me standing alone in the bathroom.