Chapter Three
Dean
Beau ordered dinner for us. I picked out chicken tenders with fries, and he chose the healthier meal of grilled chicken, a baked potato, and veggies while I nervously fidgeted on the small couch.
I heard him place an order for their biggest slice of chocolate cake with two forks, and when he turned to look at me, I smiled, then turned my gaze away.
I liked Beau. I mean, I didn’t know him all that well, but I liked him in ways I never thought possible.
“Tell me about this high school sweetheart,” he said as he moved to sit next to me. He reached over to tuck a piece of damp hair behind my ear. “Was she the one that got away?”
“Helena? She’s Killian’s sister.”
Beau’s eyes went wide.
“I met her when she was thirteen, and at first I just thought she was just my best friend’s sister, you know? Kind of annoying. Wanting to hang out with us all the time.”
“But then?” He pushed for more.
I shook my head. “Then Mav and I had to go away to this religious camp the summer she turned fourteen. I had just turned sixteen, and when I came back, she was just different. Like I realized she was a woman.” I reached for his hand again.
“She was someone I thought I might spend the rest of my life with until she decided that wasn’t she wanted.
” I traced the lines of his palm with my finger, then linked our fingers together.
“All your firsts, though.” Beau stared down at where our fingers were intertwined.
“No.” His eyes shot back to mine. “I kissed someone else, fucked someone else, dated others before Helena. I was her first, though, and it might not have happened if she hadn’t changed her mind about us.
She was scared that if we got together, it would ruin my friendship with Killian, and her relationship with him, too. They were close.”
Beau’s brows dipped. “Were?”
“When we left for California, the band, I mean, things got messy. Matty was a mess. Helena took his side, and they didn’t talk for a while.
Killian didn’t even come back to Canfield until his grandmother died.
I stayed behind because Maverick and I hate it there.
Our parents were...” I didn’t want to talk about them right now.
I released his hand and grabbed his face, then kissed him again, trying to block out the memories of home. The horrible things that had happened.
Beau groaned as he eased me back against the couch, the tips of his fingers pressed to my neck as he splayed his body over mine. “While I appreciate your enthusiasm, I would like to get to know you a bit better first. I can be a gentleman when I want to be.” His blue eyes searched my face.
“Could we just fool around instead? I don’t want to talk about my shitty childhood.”
“What happened between you and Helena that broke you up for good?”
I sighed and struggled under his body weight. “Can you... Can you get up for a second?” When Beau did as I requested, I climbed to my feet. “This is really what you want to talk about?” I looked over at him, and he gave a curt nod. “She got pregnant.”
“You have a child?” Beau didn’t sound surprised or upset, more like he was curious.
I popped a brow. “Is that a deal breaker?” I paced the room. “No, she had a miscarriage. She was working at the hospital where she’s a nurse when it happened. She claimed she didn’t know she was pregnant. One time, it was one time without a fucking condom, and it changed everything.”
I shook my head. I didn’t like the turn this conversation had taken. Thinking about the fact that I could have been a father, that I should be, upset me. It was something I hadn’t gotten closure on yet.
“I’m sorry.” Beau’s voice was soft.
I stopped to face him again. “For what? That I was stupid enough to fall for my best friend’s sister, or that she got pregnant, and it ruined everything.
” My eyes burned with tears. “I would have taken such good care of her and that baby. I would be a great dad, considering the asshole who raised me didn’t know how to be one, but the second it was over?
Helena just changed. Decided that she didn’t want a relationship with me anymore.
Thought we would be better off as friends.
Wouldn’t talk to me about what could have been.
I know it’s hard for a woman to deal with the death of a child. ”
“You were grieving, too,” Beau murmured. And yeah, that was exactly it.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I needed her to help me go through the pain. I couldn’t talk to my bandmates or my brother. They all had their own shit they were dealing with.” I turned away as tears spilled down my cheeks. “Just give me a second,” I murmured.
Strong arms wrapped around me. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that alone,” Beau whispered again, and I couldn’t help but turn around to lean into his embrace. His hand combed through my hair. “I shouldn’t have made you talk about something that was going to upset you this much.”
I sniffed as I met his pale eyes. “It’s fine. My therapist gets me to cry at least once a week.” I choked out a laugh.
“Does it help?” Beau continued to stroke my hair. “Therapy, I mean.” His voice vibrated through his chest and against my face.
I pressed my face against his body as my arms circled around his waist. “It saved my life,” I confessed.
“I think that if I hadn’t gone that route.
If I had held everything inside and pushed it down, I might be dead.
” Shit, I hadn’t meant to say that. No one knew about my depression. Not even Maverick or Killian.
Beau gasped just as there was a knock at the door. “That’s probably our food.” He untangled his arms to go check the peephole and then unlocked the door to let the hotel personnel inside.
I wiped at my cheeks as the cart was wheeled into the room, and Beau thanked the guy and handed him some cash for the tip. “Do you want me to help?”
“Help?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, I mean with the bill and all. I’m perfectly capable of paying for my own meal. I have money, too.”
“Not tonight, you’re not. You get the next one.”