Chapter Nineteen
Dean
Iloved Korea. It was a beautiful country, full of kind, friendly people, and I always enjoyed coming here.
Mulligan had been lucky enough to tour here twice, and both times had been amazing.
The first time, Killian had almost ruined it.
He had started a fight with someone, gotten black-out drunk, and then passed out in his hotel room after he had destroyed it.
The second time, Maverick had refused to leave his hotel room, and we’d nearly missed the show.
But despite those ugly memories, Blake and I had managed to find time to enjoy ourselves. Just like we were right now.
“Who do you keep texting?” His brows were raised when I met his gaze. “Helena?”
I chuckled. “Uh, no. That ship has sailed, my friend.” I felt a flush creep up my neck and over my face.
“Someone new? Have you been holding out on us? Is the person who left the hickeys on your neck?” Blake leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his coffee.
I put down my phone. “It’s...” I wasn’t sure if I should tell him. I hadn’t even told Killian yet. “It’s very new, and I don’t want to jinx it yet.” Which is exactly what I was afraid I was doing.
I hadn’t heard back from Beau since yesterday.
I wasn’t sure if it was the time difference, or maybe he was just busy, but my messages had gone unread.
And it was starting to bother me. I knew he had a lot going on with hockey, Cole, and life in general, but when he didn’t call me this morning like he usually did, I wondered if maybe he had just finally decided to cut ties.
The thought made my stomach twist into knots.
“Okay, I can respect that.” Blake grinned as he glanced around the room. “But I hope it works out.”
I smiled. “Thanks, man. I do, too.” I leaned forward. “And what about you? Anyone special in your life?”
“No.” Blake shook his head. “I don’t... No.” He chewed on his bottom lip. His green eyes grew sad as he got lost in his own thoughts. “I think I’m just destined to be alone. And I’m okay with that.”
I reached across the table to touch his hand. “Don’t say that, bro. You’ll meet her someday. Just give it time.”
But Blake was never the type for one-night stands or parties.
He pretended to be. He nursed the same beer all night after a show, talked up the ladies, and even brought some back to his hotel room, but he never slept with them.
We all knew it; we just never said anything.
Blake was a good guy. He wasn’t the kind of guy who slept around or used women.
And we all knew we could count on him when we needed him.
He was our saint, whether he liked it or not.
“Maybe.” Blake sighed and dropped his chin.
“What if it’s too late? What if I let them get away?
Screwed it up, and I can’t get them back?
” When he looked back at me, his eyes swam with tears.
“I was in love once, Dean, and I screwed it up big fucking time. There isn’t a day that I don’t regret letting them get away.
I wish I could go back in time to change things, but I can’t. ”
I stared at my bass player, watched the way his cheeks burned crimson. “And are you going to tell me who it was? And when this was? Do I know them?”
“There you are!” Lou exclaimed as she hurried into the room, the sounds of her heels clacking against the tile. “I’ve been looking for the two of you everywhere.”
I groaned softly and rolled my eyes. “We’ve been waiting for you, Lou, right where you told us to be.”
“Don’t get snippy with me, mister. You’re on a tight schedule.” Lou snapped back at me. “Come on. The photographer is waiting.”
Blake pushed back his chair as I climbed to my feet and then we were rushed off for more photographs, but this time with the K-Pop band.
And by the time I was done, it was too late to reach out to Beau.
He was fast asleep. I couldn’t wait to get home and back to US time so I could finally speak with him again.
I WAS DREAMING AGAIN. Dreaming of Beau and the way it felt when he kissed me.
How his big, strong body felt when it was pressed against mine.
The way his tongue felt like it belonged inside my mouth, and how his hands tugged and pulled on my hair.
I was so gone for this man. How had that happened?
And so fast. How had I never realized that I was bisexual?
Or was it just Beau I was into? I had never looked at another man the way I looked at him.
He was all thick muscle, hot skin, and broad shoulders. He turned me on like no one ever had.
The sound of my phone ringing brought my dream to a crashing halt.
I had gotten in late this morning. Combined with the jet lag, all I did was kick off my shoes before I face planted on my bed.
But now the shrill sound of my cell had me reaching blindly for it to silence it.
Whoever it was could wait. I needed sleep.
To go back to that dream where Beau still wanted me.
Yet when the phone began to ring again, I groaned, grabbed it, and brought it to my ear.
“Someone dead?” I growled.
“Dean?”
I sat up. “Cole? Are you okay?” I swallowed thickly. “Is it your father?”
Oh, fuck. What if he was hurt? Had something happened to him again? Another hockey incident?
“We’re both fine.” Cole sounded so much younger than his sixteen years. More like six. “I just... Are you sleeping? Maybe I shouldn’t have called.”
I dragged a hand through my hair, trying to wake myself up. God, what time was it? The sun was up, but I felt like I hadn’t slept at all. “You can always call me, dude. I’m here for you.” But now I was worried and scared that something was wrong.
“Dad’s been acting weird. Did you two have a fight or something?” Cole asked.
This was not a conversation I should be having with him. “What does that mean? Weird, how?”
“Grumpy. Snapping at everyone for no reason. He hasn’t said anything about you, and I just thought... Did you break up?” Cole gasped. “Did you? Why? I thought you two were good together, right? I mean, I know it’s probably hard to date a guy with a kid, but I’m not a bad kid. Is that the reason?”
Jesus, I needed coffee if I was going to have this conversation. I climbed from the bed and padded into the kitchen as the sun blinded my eyes.
“We didn’t break up, Cole. We’re not even officially a couple.” I turned on my espresso maker and leaned against the counter as it gargled to life. “I shouldn’t be talking to you about any of this.”
“Are you coming back to Boston? Maybe if you tried talking to him, things would be okay.”
“He’s the one who isn’t returning my calls.”
Cole gasped. “What?”
“Shit, I shouldn’t have said that. Look, I don’t know what’s going on right now.
Beau, your dad, and I, we’re complicated.
I like him, and I like you, too. I completely understand that if I date your father that you’re part of that deal, and I’m cool with that.
You’re a great kid. I like spending time with both of you. ”
Cole sighed. “He’s an idiot.”
“He’s your father. You shouldn’t talk about him like that. He loves you.” Some of us weren’t lucky enough to have a parent who cared that much about us. Who looked out for us the way Beau did for Cole. “He’s only doing what he thinks is best for you.”
Cole huffed. “But what if you’re what’s best for him, Dean?”
“Beau needs to figure that out for himself. We can’t force that on him.” My nose prickled as I blinked away tears. “I’ll be back in Boston soon enough to visit Maverick.”
“Can we still hang out? Even if you and my dad aren’t together?” Cole asked. “I don’t want things to be awkward.”
Neither did I. “As long as your father is cool with it, I’d like to still be your friend. I’ll have to ask him. Make sure he’s okay with it.” Something inside of my chest felt heavy. What if this was Beau’s way of saying we were over?
“I’ll ask him,” Cole assured me. “It just sucks. I was hoping that you’d be my stepdad. I wanted to be able to call you dad, too.”
I smiled, even though he couldn’t see me. “That’s sweet.”
My heart thumped loudly against my chest, and my eyes welled with tears. Maybe part of me had wanted that, too. Even though I had never thought about marriage or kids much these days.
“Was it that K-Pop guy? Did you like him more than my dad?”
“The K-Pop... Do you mean Jun?”
Cole was silent for a moment. “I think that’s his name. The one with the purple hair. Do you like him better? He’s cute.”
“I don’t like him like I like your father. Cole, where did you get that idea?” I poured myself a cup of coffee, took a sip, and tried to wake up. Then I took the cup with me to my office, turned on my laptop and opened my Instagram. Big mistake.
Cole sighed. “People are shipping the two of you.”
“What!” I exclaimed.
I found the picture Jun had tagged us in, and sure enough, they had even given us a name. Dejun. Was this why Beau had stopped responding to me? Did he think I was interested in Jun now? It was a marketing thing. That was it.
“Cole, nothing is going on between Jun and me. That picture was for our fans. Nothing more.”
“Okay,” he answered, but he didn’t sound very convinced.
I couldn’t believe this. “This was the second time I’ve met him. The first time was the Grammy’s. I don’t even know his birthday.”
“When is my dad’s?” Cole asked, and I couldn’t help but smile.
I knew the answer to that. “January 31st.”
“You could have Googled that,” Cole shot back. “You look happy in that picture.”
I shook my head. “I like your dad, dude, not Jun. Jun isn’t the guy I... I like your dad.”
“I gotta go,” Cole announced.
Which sucked, because I didn’t want to stop talking to him. I missed Cole. I missed Boston. I really missed Beau. “Thanks for calling me.”
“I’ll tell him to call you,” Cole said. “I hope you come to visit soon.”
When he hung up, I stared at my laptop for a while before I went to Beau’s IG. He had posted a new picture yesterday, just a hockey picture of the team, and I couldn’t stop myself from liking it. It was a simple picture of the rink, but it made my heart ache for him. I missed him.
What had I done wrong? Did he think I wanted Jun, too? I thought we liked one another. That we were having fun and wanted to see where things were headed between us. Had he changed his mind? The least he could do was tell me to my face.
And before I could stop myself, I booked a ticket to Boston.