Chapter Thirty-Seven
Dean
Ihadn’t heard from Beau in two weeks. That was fourteen days.
The text messages that I had sent him went unanswered and unread.
Had he decided that he had had his fun, but it was over?
He had promised me he wouldn’t ghost me again.
My eyes burned with unshed tears as I stared at my phone like some stupid teenage girl with a crush.
How had I been so stupid to believe him?
I could hear the sound of Killian, Matty, and Blake laughing in the other room, and I knew that I should go join them, but I couldn’t.
I was sick and tired of pretending I was happy when my heart was too broken.
It felt like when Helena had miscarried and shut me out. Speaking of my ex-girlfriend...
“Hey.” Helena picked up on the first ring, her voice happy on the other end of the line. When I didn’t say anything, she quickly changed her tune. “Dean, are you okay? What’s going on?”
The tears I had been fighting spilled down my cheeks. “It’s stupid. I shouldn’t have called you.”
“It’s not stupid if you’re calling me and sound like you’re crying. Are you?” she asked. I heard the sound of her footsteps and then a door closed. “Talk to me, please. What’s going on? Wait, is it Beau?”
A choked sob escaped my throat. “He did it again, Hel. He... I...” I gasped as I tried to catch my breath and suddenly, I was transported back to those nights when my father would beat Maverick.
The sounds of his screams, begging him to stop.
How I would try to help him. Sometimes Mav would just cry and let me while other times, after Jax, he would push me away and tell me he hated me, that he didn’t need my help. What a time to think of that.
“Do you need me? I have some vacation time that I can use,” Helena whispered softly. “Take some deep breaths for me.”
I closed my eyes and did as she instructed. Maybe it was time for a couple of therapy sessions, too. I hadn’t done that in a while. “I’m okay. And no, I don’t need you to come here. I’ll be back in Canfield soon enough for the wedding.”
“Which we’re going to talk about, but circling back to you...” Helena wasn’t going to let me change the subject. “What did he do? You were so happy the last time we spoke.”
I sighed and began to tell her what had happened.
And I told her everything. Right down to the sex part.
After all, when we had gone through everything together, why hold things back?
When I was done, I was crying again and got up to grab some tissues from the box on my dresser to wipe the wetness from my face.
“I am going to murder him,” Helena hissed. “That mother fucking asshole had the nerve to take your virginity like that, and he thinks he can just cut you off? Fucking prick. He has no idea who he messed with.”
The laugh that escaped my throat caught me off guard. “Now you sound like your brother.”
“You told Kill?”
“Well, not exactly.”
“Hold on one second, Dean.” I could hear her talking to who I assumed was Ryan, and then she was back on the line again. “Sorry about that. Anyway, what did you tell Killian exactly?”
I dropped onto my bed and stared up at the ceiling. “He thinks it’s a girl. I just... I don’t want him to get all weirded out on me. Not that I think Killian is going to judge me for being bi or whatever because I know he won’t, but I just... I’m not ready.”
“Because you think Beau is going to come back to you,” Helena said like she could ready my mind.
Fresh tears began to flow. “That’s stupid, right? Because all my texts are unread, and he clearly made his decision. Maverick said he hasn’t been around the apartment, and Jackson hasn’t heard from him, either.”
“Doesn’t he have a kid?” Helena asked. “Aren’t you friends with him, too?”
I missed Cole, too, but I wasn’t about to go through him to get to his father. “I am, and he’s at hockey camp right now. And I’m not going to reach out to him like some desperate asshole.” I looked up at the sound of light knocking on my door before Killian stepped inside.
“Oh, is that her?” He made obnoxious kissing noises. “Are you all in love and shit?”
I gave him the middle finger. “It’s your sister, dickhead.”
“Oh my God! I need to wash my eyes with bleach now! Ew!” Killian exclaimed as he rushed from the room, and I could hear Matty laughing.
Helena giggled. “I miss you guys. It’s going to be fun when you’re all here, though. And I can’t believe Jax and Maverick are getting married. The first official Mulligan wedding.”
“It’s crazy, right?” I smiled at the thought of my brother getting married, even though my heart was heavy with disappointment. “I should let you go.”
“But you can call or text me anytime you need me,” she reminded me.
I smiled. “I know.”
“Promise me you will. No matter what, Dean, I’m here for you. And I love you, you know that.”
“I promise, Hel. And I love you, too. Always. And tell Ryan I said hello.”
We hung up, but I stayed in my room staring up at the ceiling before I reached for my phone again. I wasn’t going to play these games with Beau anymore. He had made his decision, and I was going to make mine. Even if it hurt.
Dean: I’m not going to text you again, but I just wanted to tell you that I had fun with you. And I cared for you. I’m not sure what I did to deserve this after you promised me you wouldn’t ghost me again.
Of course, my text went unread. I pulled up his Instagram that had gone silent as well once the Terriers season had ended.
He only ever posted hockey-related pictures but scrolling back I found a few personal things.
A picture from his honeymoon with Trish.
The day Cole was born. It wasn’t that I expected him to share pictures of me or us.
Anger pulsed through my veins. What a dick.
Who the hell did he even think he was, anyway?
Beau said he wouldn’t do this to me again, yet here we were.
Dean: You know what? Fuck you. Fuck you for making me care about you and your son.
Fuck you for coming to me first, because this is all your fault.
You pursued me, remember? I had no idea you were flirting with me.
I thought you were just talking to me! I don’t deserve this kind of shit, either.
So, enjoy your life or whatever. And I hope you tell Cole the truth about what happened because he’s a good kid. Tell him I wish him the best, too.
Dean: I guess this is goodbye.
It hurt to text the last line, but it also felt right.
I couldn’t sit around waiting for Beau to text or call me.
If he didn’t want me, I would find someone who did.
And once I felt like I was ready, that was what I could do.
I climbed from my bed and headed into the living room as an idea popped into my head.
“Hey Blake, did you get Jun’s number?” I sat down next to him on the couch.
Blake’s brows shot up. “Uh, sure. Why?”
“Just wondering. He seemed like a nice guy, and I thought it might be fun to collaborate sometime.” And maybe something else.
Jun was kind of cute, and we got along. I could always just DM him on his Instagram, but I wasn’t sure if he even ran his own social media accounts or not.
Vegas was fun, and I got the impression that he was interested in more than just music.
Maybe that would be fun once I had gotten over Beau.
And maybe Beau would realize the mistake he had made.
Killian’s brows were furrowed. “The K-Pop dude with purple hair?”
“That’s him.” I pretended to be interested in my phone, but my ears were so hot I felt like they might be on fire. When I glanced back up, Killian was smirking at me. “What?”
He shook his head. “Nothing, nothing.”
“Anyway, are we ready for tomorrow?” I asked, changing the subject.
I just hoped that I would be able to get over Beau. Even though I knew I would have to see him in a couple of weeks at the wedding.