Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
After stopping to pick up pizza and antipasto, they pulled into Maggie’s driveway a little after eleven. Maggie thought it was probably a good idea to feed the bear, and Nick was acting like a grouchy bear.
Thankful the ride was over, her plan was to choke down a piece of pizza and escape to her bedroom, pleading a headache. Hell, if he kept staring at her with that damn eyebrow raised, she’d probably have one before too long.
Opening the passenger door, she looked at the distance to the ground and prepared to slide off her pillow, but Nick’s “Stay” stopped her.
Coming around to her side, he gently lifted her out of the truck, setting her on her feet. She knew how angry he was, but she didn’t feel it in his arms, and she breathed a little sigh of relief.
Unlocking her door, Maggie flipped on the kitchen light as Nick followed her with their food.
She washed her hands at the sink and got out plates and silverware.
Within about five minutes they were eating quietly at the island.
Maggie picked at her food, mostly sipping her wine and waiting.
Finally, she couldn’t stand it a moment longer.
“For God’s sake, Nick, will you say something?” she demanded, pulling her hair tie out and running her fingers through her hair in relief.
“What would you like me to say, Maggie?” He wiped his mouth with a napkin and pushed his plate away.
“Anything,” she shot back, kicking her sandals off and hopping off the barstool. “Anything at all. You want to yell at me, yell away. You want to tell me how stupid I am for not realizing that Jack was truly dangerous? Go ahead, but I already know it.”
Maggie took off her hoodie and flung it over a stool. She proceeded to stomp around the kitchen in her bare feet, putting the food away in the fridge and scraping the plates. After placing them in the dishwasher she turned to him, hands on hips and demanded, “Well?”
Nick laughed. She really was priceless. Imagine her trying to make me feel guilty when she’s a hare’s breath from getting her butt tanned for the second time tonight.
Maggie didn’t appreciate his humor and whipped the wet dishrag across the room smacking him in the chest.
“You want me to yell at you?” he inquired, getting off the stool and trying not to grin.
“No.”
“You want me to spank you again? Because you might get your wish,” he continued, coming closer.
“God, no,” she shot back, putting both hands behind her and starting to back away.
For every step back she took, Nick took the same step forward. Unfortunately for her, his legs were much longer and he closed the distance quickly. Once they were face to face, he tried again.
“What do you want, Maggie?” he asked softly, so close she could feel his breath.
“I… I don’t know,” she whimpered, mesmerized by his beautiful eyes as he slowly pulled her even closer.
“Well then, today’s your lucky day, honey,” he whispered as he began kissing her lips softly with little nibbles that left her eager for more. “I know exactly what you want.”
Wrapping his arms around her, he lifted her off the floor and buried his face in the hollow of her throat, sucking and nibbling until she threw her head back and moaned.
“Oh my God, Nick, please wait,” she gasped. Maggie was weightless, boneless; if he let her go she would become a puddle on the floor. For the first time in her life, she understood the word swoon, and it scared the hell out of her.
Nick sensed her panic and looking deeply into her eyes, he slowly released her, but not until she felt the full evidence of his desire.
“Magpie, are you afraid of me?” he asked when she skittered away and wiped her sweaty palms on her skirt.
“Of course not,” she answered as she walked to the hall closet and took out a pillow and blanket.
Shutting the door, she rested her forehead on it and whispered, “I’m afraid of me.
Of what you make me feel. I know you don’t understand,” she continued as she took the bedding and dropped it on the couch with a defeated sigh.
“Then explain it to me, darlin’,” he coaxed quietly, coming into the room. “Don’t you want me?”
“Yes, I do want you. I can’t even describe how much. I know you don’t believe me Nick, but I’m strong. I’ve had to be. Not just since Jim died, but for a very long time. I pretty much made all the decisions after we were married, and Jim let me.
“Eventually I didn’t even consult him about things.
I wasn’t truly happy, but as long as I could control my world, I felt safe.
Life was good, no surprises, nobody to rock the boat.
I’m ashamed to say I even controlled when we would have sex.
It was comfortable, routine, and I could live with that. ”
Nick just listened, watching her closely. He was sure she didn’t even know she had her arms around herself and was rocking slowly, side to side.
“Go on, honey,” he encouraged her. “Tell me the rest.”
Maggie forced herself to go on. It wasn’t easy sharing these things with Nick, but she felt he had a right to know.
“Then you came back, and everything changed.” She began walking aimlessly around the room. “I was losing control in every way. At work I was being tested. The kids were getting attached to you, and I didn’t know how to stop it.
“Suddenly someone was questioning my decisions, looking out for my welfare, bossing me around,” she told him boldly, with her hands on her hips.
“But when you touch me,” she went on, wrapping her arms around herself again.
“It’s… like a giant wave is dragging me out to sea.
I can’t come up, and I can’t touch the bottom.
I feel weak and faint, and I can hardly breathe.
I’m afraid to hang on and afraid to let go.
I don’t just give up control easily, but when you have me in your arms, I’m helpless.
I would be anything, do anything you wanted, and it scares the hell out of me. ”
“What about New Year’s? You weren’t frightened then. What’s different now?” he asked, his mind trying to absorb everything she said.
“I think New Year’s was different because it was so unexpected.
There wasn’t a lot of time to think about anything.
It seemed like one minute I was answering the door and the next we were making love.
No worries, no regrets, it was what it was.
But since then… believe me when I say I’ve thought about it a million times, and each time I do, I feel weaker and more vulnerable. It scares me half to death.”
Nick sank down onto the couch, trying to quickly process this new information.
It really was pretty clear that Maggie had run the show, and he actually had a smidgen of sympathy for Jim.
In his opinion, Jim hadn’t done her any favors.
He had taken a beautiful woman and let her drown herself with responsibility.
No wonder she’d acted so foolishly since he’d been back.
Someone was taking an interest; someone was paying attention.
She was like a child who’d forgotten how to play.
If she could be bad enough, maybe she could drive him away and return to what she knew best. What she thought she was good at…
Well, no dice. There was no way he was going to let her hide, not from him and not from herself.
She said she was a strong woman, and tonight he was going to see if it was true.
Maggie sat on the stairs watching him and knew the minute he made up his mind. His eyes met hers as he advanced on her with determined strides. Without thinking, she began to back up the stairs. The closer he came the more clearly she could see the blue fire in his gaze.
“Did you hear anything I said?” she demanded, backing up another two stairs.
“Absolutely, and I understand. But you need to know that I’m not afraid.
If you’re out of control, I’ll deal with it.
I’m not Jim, and I won’t let you down. Whatever we do together whether it’s arguing, making love, or a million other things, I will be right beside you, holding you up, holding you accountable, or just plain holding you close in my arms. I won’t leave you hanging, Maggie, in any way, shape, or form. ”
“Nick, stop right now,” she ordered. He didn’t have the look of a man intimidated, so Maggie scooted up another stair, and he still kept coming.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?” she tried again, feeling any control she thought she had slip through her fingers.
“Something I should have done weeks ago, honey, and if I’d known how you felt I would have put an end to your fears much sooner.”
Still advancing, he began to unbuckle his belt, and Maggie felt a moment of panic, but he dropped it on the stairs and unbuttoned his shirt.
Maggie stood and went up three more stairs very quickly, her mind racing frantically for words that would not come. Up she went, feeling for each stair behind her, never taking her eyes off him.
“Nick, you can’t do this,” she pleaded. The sight of his naked chest and the purpose in his eyes turned her knees to jelly, and she stumbled.
‘I can, Maggie. Trust me I can,” he replied hoarsely as he swept her up in his arms and took the rest of the stairs with no apparent effort.
Maggie didn’t struggle, but she tried to reason with him one last time.
“Let’s talk about this, Nick,” she panted, then squealed in surprise when he tossed her on the bed.
“In case you haven’t noticed, sweetheart, I’m through talking,” he informed her as he quickly striped off the rest of his clothes. Nick threw another log on the smoldering fire. Flames licked at the dry wood, and the resulting glow outlined his body.