Chapter 17
— NILAY —
If walking on clouds was a real thing, it would be this, he thought, taking the steps up to his store like he was floating on thin air.
The world felt new this morning. Another morning welcomed with her beside him.
And it had reiterated the fact that he needed more mornings like this. Many more uninterrupted mornings.
Nilay nodded at the sales staff murmuring their greetings, smiling, greeting back. He saw shocked faces in his periphery but nothing could deter him today.
“NiP!” Kedar came running, the mug in his hand sloshing with green tea. Nilay glanced at it and he screeched to a halt — “I’m sorry, I was told you are still on the JVPD crossroads…”
“It’s alright.” Nilay reached for the mug in his hand. “Thanks, Kedar.”
His eyes popped wide, blinking like an owl.
Nilay smiled and stepped into the elevator, checking his phone for her message.
He knew she wouldn’t have sent any. After all, he had dropped her off at her place only half an hour ago.
He thought of sending her a text. But held himself back.
She wasn’t as into this idea of them as he was.
Last night, she hadn’t outright rejected it.
But he knew she hadn’t accepted it either.
There was more pursuing to do here.
The doors to the elevator opened and he walked out into the workshop, full now as it was nearing noon.
He crossed tables and mannequins, stopping at designers’ stations, chatting up their latest, talking ‘shop.’ Literally.
His interns’ interns had gathered another list of songs for him this morning and made a show of unveiling them.
He listened patiently for a change. He even liked one.
And not because it fit his campaign. It… made him think about her.
Nahin saamne, yeh alag baat hai…
He crooned under his breath, pressing his palm to the reader and opening his office.
Mere paas hai tu, mere paas hai…
Nilay hummed, smiling to himself. A fool.
An idiot. A lovesick puppy. He gagged at those words but he was all of those.
And giddy to be them. But his back felt hot.
He pulled his shirt off his back, reaching for the AC remote.
Unease hit him. And then panic. He reached for the back of his left arm, feeling it go numb. Then it began to throb.
“Oh man,” he collapsed into his chair, scrambling for water. His tea… he had forgotten it outside. Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuck! He took deep breaths. His face felt like it was underwater. Sweat was licking the fire on his skin, dripping down on his collar. Nilay pushed his head back. Think. Think. Think.
Cold water. Walk.
He pushed to his feet and began to stroll.
Soda.
That had helped last time. But before he could think how to get that, the pain in his back shot to the front.
He collapsed, catching himself in time with a hand on the corner of his desk.
He held steady, on his knees, breathing heavily.
This was panic. Panic was making it worse. His reports were good.
“NiP! Sorry to barge in but you forgot your tea at…” he heard Kedar and the click of his door. “NiP! NiP! What happened!”
“My mobile…” he managed, turning on his back and sitting up against his desk.
“Here,” Kedar thrust it at him. But he couldn’t do more than use his face to unlock it. He passed it back — “Call Ritu.”
“What happened to you?”
“Call her.”
“It looks like you are blocked!” Kedar shot out.
“Use the… other… SIM.” He breathed hard, closing his eyes, willing his heart to come back under control. Shit, shit, shit. No. Work properly. Please.
“Hello? Ritu? Ma’am?! I am Kedar, NiP is sick… one sec…”
The phone was plastered to his ear.
“Nilay! What happened?”
“I think… It’s another one. Like last time. But it’s not stopping, Ritu. Come, please come…”
“I am on my way, pop a sorbitrate under your tongue…”
“I don’t have it!” He yelled.
“Why?”
“I…” he gasped.
“Ok. Ok. Relax. I am sending an ambulance…”
“No! It’s not that bad. Pain in arm came to front but now it’s gone. I just feel tired…”
“I am out of the house. Ten minutes. Ok? Ten minutes, Nilay. Have cold water. Relax. Sit in that same position.”
“Yes.”
“Talk to me…”
“Get me cold water,” he told Kedar. “And don’t let anyone know outside.”
Kedar was frozen.
“Go!” Nilay barked.
“Don’t yell!” Ritu yelled at him.
“Sorry.”
Kedar stopped at the door and stared at him.
“Not you!” Nilay sighed. And he scurried off.
“Any nausea? Any feeling that you can’t take a full breath?” She asked calmly.
“No… breath… I think it’s panic.”
“Ok, lean back, loosen anything tight around your chest or stomach. Put one hand flat on your chest and breathe in through your nose for four counts, exhale for six. I’m staying with you.”
He did as she asked, and felt a full breath on his next inhale.
“Yes, yes, full breath,” he chuckled in victory. “It’s panic. Maybe it’s not an attack. Maybe it’s just panic… hmm?”
“Hmm.”
“You don’t think so?”
“I will know when I see you.”
He relaxed. His breathing evened out. The heat on his face cooled. His eyes began to shut as sleep pulled him in.
“Nilay?” Ritu’s voice. Her palm patting his jaw. “Nilay?”
Her palm on his chest. Her fingers wrapped around his wrist. Her eyes in his. He snapped his eyes open, stretched as they were by her fingers. He gasped, opening his mouth as she placed something under his tongue.
“Don’t swallow, keep it there.”
“Am I fine?” He managed.
“We are going to the hospital.”
“No! Not from the main door. Workday is in full swing!”
“Do I look like I care?” She rose to her feet. Her arm came under his and his other arm was hauled by Kedar. Nilay pushed down with all his might, which wasn’t much at this point as they managed to haul him to his feet in one fell swoop.
“Ritu, no! I am not walking out like this! Let me balance on my feet and then I will go but I swear if you force me to go like this I will…”
“Enough!”
He stopped wiggling.
“One more word from you and I will send you out of this window directly.”
He glanced back at the window. “It’s closed.”
“That’s it!” She pushed her hand to his back and shoved him until he was moving, walking, on his door.
“Ritu…” he dug his feet in, throwing Kedar off.
“Nilay, it is a heart attack.”
He froze. Their eyes met.
“Now I don’t care what your staff thinks. You have one minute to get down to your car.” She held up his keys. “We are admitting you to the hospital and you are getting an emergency angiography. I spoke to Dr. Shravan, he is already at the Cath Lab. We will get you in by 3. Now move.”
————————————————————
The thing with emergencies was that your brain stopped working.
Fear consumed you, and yet it did not register.
As he was walked into the hospital, stable on his own two feet, Nilay thought he could still get out of the angiography.
As he was asked to use a wheelchair, he thought he could fight it.
As he was shoved into it by Ritu and hauled up to the 12th-floor room and asked to change into hospital clothes, he believed he could beg his way out of it.
But now, as he sat in bed, in the most horrendous blue hospital shirt and bottoms, staring out of the picture window at the horizon beyond the Arabian Sea, Nilay knew there was no getting out of this.
The door clicked open, and he turned his head to see her walk in. She set her bag down on the table and came to stand beside him, snaking her arm around his shoulder. Her breath, her scent, her presence were so close. He inhaled.
“Nilay,” she leaned close to his face. Her hand came to his chest and she held it steady there.
“In twenty minutes, we will take you down for an angiography. A radial approach has been finalised. It means that a nick will be made in your wrist, from there, they will inject a catheter tube through your artery, throw a dye in and take a video. If they find more than 70% plaque, then stenting will be required. A stent will be set in the artery to open it up and keep it distended. That’s lifesaving.
If there are more than three blockages with 70% or more plaque, then they will close and look at other options.
More than three stents is not recommended… ”
“What other options? CABG?”
Her mouth pursed. She nodded.
He let out a bitter chuckle — “So finally we are here, ready for a bypass surgery.”
“No, we are not. We haven’t seen what’s going on in there.” She patted his chest. “Chances are, you will require one stent and be done.”
He scoffed, looking away — “Chances and me haven’t worked where this heart is concerned.”
A hand on his jaw tugged it back to her. Her face was closer now, her eyes centimetres away.
“Listen, Nilay, if there are more than three blocks then I am getting you the best cardiothoracic surgeon and booking you for a CABG and you will not say no. I am standing with you, inside and outside the OT. I am taking care of you. However obnoxious you want to be, go be. It’s a challenge, in fact.
Do your worst. I am not leaving you alone in this, ok? ”
His eyes blurred. Nilay found the wrist of the hand that was holding his jaw. “I am not scared of being alone or weak anymore,” his voice broke. “I am scared of dying. Now that you are here, I don’t want to go.”
Her mouth closed over his. He inhaled.
She kissed him, slow and deep, thumbing the edge of his eye and pulling back.
“You will not go anywhere,” she asserted.
He nodded.
“It will be over before you even know it.”
“I want you to perform it.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“It’s a conflict of interest.”
“You haven’t even responded to me from yesterday, then how is it conflict?”
Her eyes squeezed shut.
“Doctor.”
They popped open.
“I trust no one but you.”
“I failed to see this attack coming…” Her voice went low.
“I don’t believe that. I only believe that you will make it ok. I will not allow anybody but you to do it.”
Her beautiful, bright throat worked a swallow.