Chapter 19
— NILAY —
“We could have kept MM with us,” he breathed, eyes closed, exhausted after hosting. He had hopped parties and events and meetings only a week ago without exhaustion, and here he was, done for after a low-key dinner with Maya, Gautam and MM.
“And what would Maya and Gautam do without their daughter?” He felt a velcro snap and the cuff come around his bicep. He did not even have the energy to play with her and get that kiss. He would welcome it, of course, but didn't have the bandwidth to do it himself.
“They could go on a date, take the night off…” he managed as she pumped the machine. He no longer panicked about the results. Whatever it was, Ritu would adjust his dosage if needed.
“Gautam would never do that.”
“Daddy-daughter bonds are special, but he just has it bad for her.” Nilay mused. “Anyone would, if it was a baby as cute as MM…”
“He has proven beyond a doubt that he will never let MM even think about her actual father.”
“Wait, what?” He snapped his eyes open. “Actual father?”
The cuff deflated around his bicep and she unwrapped it. “I thought you knew.”
“Knew what? That Gautam is not MM’s father? That’s not possible. He told me himself…”
“What?”
Nilay thought back to that night, their first business dinner at Copper Chimney.
He had flirted with Maya as she had gushed about his work.
And then she had stood up from the table to go to the restroom, and he had discovered she was pregnant.
Gautam had been attentive and besotted. He had apologised immediately but Gautam had been distracted, waiting for her to come back from the restroom, eyes only on her and then on her belly.
On MM. He couldn’t have been anyone but the father.
“I just assumed,” Nilay wondered aloud. “And he let me… wow. Wow.” He was… ‘impressed’ would be the wrong word. “Wow.”
“MM is a lucky girl.” Ritu wound up the BP machine.
“She so is. It would have been fun if she had been here with us all night. You saw how she went to sleep on my stomach? She didn’t even twitch when I covered her with the throw.”
“And who would take care of her when she woke up?”
“You, me…”
“You look fresh as a daisy to do that.”
His mouth turned up — “Thanks.” Nilay tipped his chin to find her leaning over him, depositing the machine on its designated table. “You look great too.”
She narrowed her eyes at him and began to move when he grabbed her waist and pulled her into his lap. One challenging look from her brought double the energy pumping into his blood stream.
“What are you doing!” She swatted his arm. He held her tight.
“Is taking care of a baby overnight so hard?” He asked, leaning back and pulling her along.
“Not hard…” she said. “Very hard.”
“How do you know?”
“I have heard MM’s midnight, late-night and early-morning howls. You’d think somebody is torturing her. And this is the good phase. They have gotten through the horrid infant colic phase already.”
“But it doesn’t last forever, does it?”
“No… then it becomes terrible twos, then tantrums, then attitude, then communicable diseases from play school, then…”
“Fine, fine, I get it.” He thumped his forehead on her shoulder. A laugh bubbled out of him.
“What?”
“I like how cute you are in trying to scare me away.”
“I am not scaring you away! That’s how bringing up a kid is!”
“I would have run 100 km/hr in the other direction a month ago at this response but… MM is too cute not to want to fight all the difficult days. The ones that we make might be just as cute, or more…”
Ritu did not answer.
“Doctor.”
“Hmm?”
“I know we haven’t even crossed the baseline here, and I am jumping levels already.
But this episode has made me weird. Feel free to cut and burn me and ask me to shut up.
But the truth is, I am unable to see even an hour into my future without you in it, and a year ahead without you, me and somebody else in it.
We have crossed the bubbly phases of our lives, but it’s not over yet.
With you, for the first time I see freshness of living again.
Like I am a newly turned adolescent, touching, feeling, experiencing things I have lived over and over again for the first time.
MM just seals it all and ties it up. When I see you with her, I want it all like yesterday!
Like where were you all my life? Where was this realisation?
Where was this epiphany that even after all the heights are scaled and all the great things achieved, I need nothing from the world, not any adulation, not any worship, not any reinforcements of my worth. All I need is your insults…”
Nilay stopped talking, lowering his chin to stare at her. Her eyes were closed, her breathing slow. He smiled. It was rare that she went to sleep like that, without something covering her eyes. And on his lap, of all places. Just like MM.
He gently slipped her to the sofa and reached down to grab the throw. Then he stretched out, set his feet on the coffee table, took her back on his chest and pulled the throw over them. Like it had become his reflex, he circled an arm around her neck and set his palm on her eyes.
Her breathing did not change. She was exhausted, taking care of him. It wasn't that he was demanding, but he did deplete her with his constant bantering. He was a hungry child needing her attention. Nilay kissed the side of her head and closed his eyes.
After a few moments, he felt a flutter. He dipped his chin to check. But she was asleep.
————————————————————
“Well done, Mr. Patel,” Dr. Shravan remarked, pulling his glasses off and setting his reports down. “Lipids look in control, BP hasn’t fluctuated, stress tests are good. Great in fact. How do you feel?”
“Better than great.” Nilay smiled, looking at Ritu sitting with him for a change. This was the room it had all started in. She had sat across from him. Now she was sitting beside him. How quickly and wonderfully had they taken this journey.
“Dr. Kapadia, what are your observations?”
“As you said,” she nodded. “Everything is in control. MPO is stable. That was my greatest concern. I wanted your opinion on BNP/NT.”
He shook his head — “Indicators are borderline but that’s because of the recent heart muscle stress. It’s lower than on the day of the angioplasty. Give it a month and it will come down, don’t worry… So, Mr. Patel? You have Dr. Kapadia taking care of you. Why do you need my opinion?”
“I wanted a second opinion,” Ritu nodded. “Bias shouldn’t come in.”
“And I had a very pertinent question.” Nilay held his hand up. Ritu glanced at him, her brows furrowed.
“Sorry, Doctor, but you wouldn’t answer me straight,” he whispered to her before turning to his official cardiologist. “When am I cleared for sex?”
Ritu glared at him and Dr. Shravan burst out laughing.
“Stress tests are clear, Mr. Patel. If you can sprint up 2-3 flights of stairs without strain then you are good to go. Sex and running are not very different when it comes to stress to the heart.”
“Oh, so you were right then,” Nilay gaped at her. She was spitting daggers at him with her eyes. He winced. He was clear for sex after she made him race up the stairs, but would he even have a partner?
The way she was plotting his murder in creative ways right now, Nilay didn’t think so.
————————————————————
The bell chimed, and he quickly collected the breadcrumbs from the platform and threw them in the dustbin.
He swiped a hand down the chopping board and carried it out to the dining table.
It was already set up with bowls of peeled cucumbers, onions, boiled potatoes, beet and tomatoes.
He had minced up a low-oil, low-salt coriander chutney and borrowed sandwich masala from his ‘dost’ Raju.
The bell chimed again and he ran a hand through his hair, checking his appearance in the glossy smoked glass at the entrance as he turned the lock and opened the door.
“Welcome, Doctor!”
“Why is this key not working? You locked the door?” She was hassled, carrying a bag of groceries that he had sent her off to get.
She thrust it into his arms — “Here! Your ration for a whole year…” her voice trailed.
He smiled, stepping out of her way as her eyes ran over the spick and spanking hall, glowy now, with the lights down to mood-lit, air smelling of delectable food and musk freshener, and sunflowers waiting for her on the island.
“Is somebody coming…?” She stepped inside. “That’s why you sent me?”
Nilay shut the door, stepping behind her and curving his arm around her waist — “Tell me, Ritu, do you ask these questions to act pricey or you genuinely don’t know?”
Her head turned over her shoulder — “This… for me?”
He reached down and pecked her temple. “For you,” he whispered to the wisps of hair flying there. He smoothed them down and kissed it again. “All for you. This is not even my full potential. But it’s a start.”
Her eyebrows went up.
“I didn't have enough time,” he winced. “You were out for only half an hour. Go again for one hour and see what I do!”
A small, watery chuckle erupted from her mouth. Her eyes teared up.
“Hey! No crying. What are you crying for?”
“I am not a crier.” She shook her head. “What else did you do?”
He felt the loss in his arms as she pushed out of them, walking into his house.
She wore a homely dark leggings and a loose T-shirt — her favourite loungewear, he had discovered.
He was a couturier who wouldn’t be caught dead wearing something so blasé but on her, everything looked beautiful.
When had he ever thought that he would fall in love with a woman who did not dress to impress every moment of her every day?
“Sandwich?” She trailed a hand across the packet of white bread he had kept open on the dining table.
“Today I am allowed white bread,” he strode up behind her. “Please.”
She rolled her eyes at him, but nodded. “What else…?”