Chapter 20 Ruk Jaa Oo Dil Deewane
— NILAY —
Nilay stared into space. The letters and words on the paper blurred in front of his eyes. He wasn’t having another heart attack but it was definitely close. Different goals? Gratitude? Hero worship?
Before he could even start playing out the repercussions of this or think of what to do next, his phone pinged.
MAYA KUMAR
Come to T2 gate1
Maasi flight in 3hrs
I hid her passport
We’re waiting at gate
G has gone home to get it
Nilay blinked away his sleep and confusion, re-reading her message.
MAYA KUMAR
Say yes if you’re coming
Dont want to stop her for nothing
Nilay snapped out of his haze.
NiP
Coming, hold her
He grabbed the first T-shirt he found, picked his keys and ran.
You are so dead, Doctor.
————————————————————
He tore down the Mumbai roads and the Western Expressway Highway.
Who the fuck was jamming the highway at 6.
30 in the morning?! Was the whole of Mumbai flying out from T2 today?
! He raced his car and wove through the many full lanes of traffic going towards the airport.
Some of those were asshole moves but he didn't care.
With one hand on the steering wheel, the other unlocking his phone every minute to check if a new message had popped, he drove like a madman. He turned into the first lane leading into the airport gates and the security barred him.
“What?!” He screamed out of his open window, slowing his car.
“You are alone.”
“So?”
“This lane is for dropping off passengers, Arrivals is down the ramp…”
“I am not here for Arrivals!”
“You cannot drive down alone.”
Nilay glanced out, Maya and MM and his bloody Doctor at the first gate, huddled. He fucking didn't care if his car was confiscated. He turned it off and got out.
“Sir, what are you doing?”
“I’m an angiography patient!” He held his bandaged wrist up. “And my Doctor is leaving me!” He pointed at the woman who was turned away from him. Maya saw him and waved, pointing at Ritu helpfully. Thank you.
“Why is she leaving you?”
“Because she is an idiot!” Nilay stepped on the pavement and broke into a run towards the gate. Ritu turned. Her face froze. She began to grab her bag and step towards the check-in gate.
“What cheap stuff do you smoke?!” Nilay yelled. “You don’t have a passport to clear that.”
Her shock turned into outrage — “You stole my passport?”
“What the hell is this?” He held her prank of a paper up. “Different goals? Since when?”
“Nilay…” she stepped back and he kept advancing.
“You don’t want a happy life?”
She was speechless.
“You don’t want my hand on your eyes when you sleep?”
Her face twisted.
“You don’t want walks on the beach and sandwiches?”
She was shaking her head.
“You don’t want sunflowers?”
She had gone as far as she could, the airport’s glass wall barring any further retreat.
“Sir, please move your car!” The security behind him parroted.
“She is leaving me and you want me to move my car?!” Nilay yelled, not taking his eyes off her. “I am a heart patient!”
“Nilay, go back home,” she managed, just as he closed in on her.
“What are these different goals?”
She shook her head, her eyes looking like they were ready to tear up.
He pushed on — “Because if it is about our living arrangements, then I am ready to move. I will come with you to New York, right now. Like not today, though I will if it’s that important.
But give me one week. I haven’t gone to the office in 10 days.
Let me wrap things up for the month and I will come.
Please, Ritu, just stay for a week. And then we can talk about where to settle…
you want to settle with me, isn’t it? What is it?
Am I still too much of obnoxious? Do I still offend you?
Do I make you feel uncomfortable? Do you not love me too…
?” His voice broke. “Have I been reading this wrong the whole time?”
Tears were falling down her eyes and he palmed the back of her head, pulling her face into his shoulder. “Please tell me,” he caressed her hair.
“Life is not Mills & Boons…”
“What the fuck have I been trying to show you all these days?!”
“You want children.” Her choked voice sounded in his shoulder. So low, only he could hear. He turned his mouth to her ear — “You wanted them too. You said having a baby like MM is your big dream.”
“It’s a dream…”
“Ok, Doctor, explain the difference to me. You don’t want a dream?”
“I can’t have it.”
“What? Children?”
“I am 39, about to turn 40, with PCOD and a world of hormonal problems,” she whispered in his shoulder. “You don’t have great odds with me for that future. In fact, slim to none. Nilay, it’s better we end this right now while it’s new…”
“Shut up. I am 41. What difference does that make?”
She pulled away, her eyes enraged but her voice still low. “You can impregnate a woman even when you are 70!”
“That will be a little impossible, considering I want to impregnate only you, and even you will be 70.”
She scowled — “So obnoxious.”
“It’s the truth. So what? We will find other ways to have kids. We will…” he glanced around, finding Maya standing at a distance with MM in her arms, looking away but holding an ear out sneakily. “Ask Maya and Gautam to have one more for us.”
“You can’t outsource everything!” Ritu laughed through the sob. He smiled — “We will adopt, or surrogacy or… Ritu, we will find a way. And even if we can’t, it will be you and me.”
“And then you will become bitter because I couldn’t give you children.”
His eyes opened up. Wide. Nilay took her face in his hands and pulled it close to his, making sure she was looking into his eyes while he said this.
“Ritu, your father was a loser and a bastard and I have no shame in saying this to you — but he was a misogynistic pig for putting your mother through that. Although, that yielded you, so I can’t complain.
I am telling you right now that I will never be that.
Before you, I wasn’t even going to have kids.
Didn't even want them. With anybody. It is you. I want you, and to multiply the craziness with you. If that doesn’t work out, we will make enough of crazy between ourselves.
And there is always MM. We will spoil her crazy so that she will stay more at our house and less at her parents’ house. ”
Her tears were unstoppable, but so was the shy smile that began to bloom on her mouth.
“And while we are at it, what is this bullshit about gratitude and hero worship?”
“It’s not unheard of,” she sniffed. “Patients make gods out of their doctors, start to see them as their saviours. Especially after something so life-altering. For us, it all got mixed up…”
“Idiot, idiot, Doctor. You don’t know the E of emotional intelligence. Allow me to educate you…”
“Don’t patronise me!”
“Come with me and I promise not to… mostly.”
“Here!” Gautam’s holler broke them apart. Nilay turned, and cursed. Gautam was standing there, panting, her passport in hand. “Somebody had thrown it behind the sofa,” he eyed his wife.
“She doesn’t need it,” Nilay announced.
“She can make her own decision.” Ritu stepped out from behind him, her face cleaned of tears now. He stared her down — “Make it then.”
She glanced at Gautam, then Maya, who was was half turned away, using MM’s hand to wave like a white flag.
“Give it here,” Ritu held her hand open for her passport. His heart stopped. “I am not going.”
Maya whooped. And his missed beat synced back again.
“Let’s go home then, we’ve had enough of a scene here as it is.” Gautam looked around. People were staring, but nothing unusual. Airports were always scene-fests. Nilay eyed the commotion beyond. His car’s wheel had been locked.
He turned to Ritu — “Go home with them, my home,” he emphasised. “I’ll sort this out and come back.”
She nodded.
Before she could, Nilay flicked her passport from Gautam’s hand. “I’ll hold onto this until your flight takes off,” he pocketed it.
“There is always the next flight,” she sassed back.
“Let me come back, then I’ll make sure that doesn’t take off either,” he whispered in her ear. Her skin turned red. “I’ll see you at home… Maya?” He shook his head unbelievably at her. “You are the star.
The Star!”
“I’m the reverse Amrish Puri!” She beamed. “Aa, Simran, aa, jee le apni zindagi.” She jiggled with MM, and her loud gurgles were the best thing he had heard this morning after Ritu’s ‘I’m not going.’
With his Doctor thus secured in the city, for the time being at least, Nilay turned to the security surrounding his car. He ran a hand through his hair and pulled out his wallet. He nodded at the security man who had shadowed him.
“Nilay Patel.” He handed him his driving licence. Then held up his mobile. “Would you like to speak to Minister of Cultural Affairs Maharashtra or the Union Textile Minister?”
Ruk jaa o dil deewane…
Nilay turned, and Maya was playing it on loud on her phone, nudging Ritu towards Gautam’s car. He turned and kept going.
“At least get your car like a normal human!” Ritu chided over the music. He waved her off and kept going.
————————————————————
Nilay turned the key in his door and pushed it open. There she was, sitting on his sofa, scrolling through her phone. His final bit of anxiety melted away. The early morning sun was bright behind her, sieving in through the sheer curtains, illuminating his home. His home.
Why was he thinking like some domesticated Casanova? Nilay found himself loving the word ‘domesticated.’ He closed the door behind him and the click startled her. She began to rise.
“Keep sitting.” He commanded. Her eyes widened. Yeah, he wasn't done firing.
She opened her mouth but he set his keys down with a curt ping. “Not a word.”
Her mouth dropped open.
“I have had enough of you being silent and thinking things arbitrarily, and worse, assuming them from your vast pool of non-existent emotional intelligence…”
“You said you won’t patronise me if I came back!”
“Mostly,” he shot back. “This is mostly. Now listen.”