Chapter 43
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Kristen
The morning of Lily's fifth birthday, I wake to the sound of her feet thundering down the hallway.
"Mommy! Mommy! I'm five now!"
She launches herself onto the bed before I can fully open my eyes. Nico grunts beside me as a knee connects with his ribs, but when I glance over, he's smiling.
"Happy birthday, baby girl." I pull her into my arms, breathing in the strawberry scent of her shampoo.
"Nico said there's gonna be a huge party," Lily announces, bouncing on her knees. "With a princess castle cake and a bouncy house and—"
"Did he now?" I raise an eyebrow at the man currently pretending to be asleep.
One eye cracks open. "I may have mentioned something."
Something. Right. The garden has been transformed over the past week into what can only be described as a five-year-old's fever dream.
Pink streamers, balloon arches, an actual bouncy castle that Vittoria special-ordered from some company in Milan.
Lily's new school friends are coming—Sophie, and little Thomas who follows Lily around like she hung the moon.
"Get dressed, piccola," Nico says, his voice rough with sleep. "Giulia's making pancakes."
Lily squeals and scrambles off the bed, disappearing down the hall. I watch her go, my chest tight with something I still can't name. Gratitude feels too small. Love feels too obvious.
"Hey." Nico's hand finds mine under the covers. "You okay?"
I turn to look at him.
"I'm perfect," I tell him. And for once, I mean it.
The party is chaos in the best possible way.
Twelve children run screaming through the garden while parents sip champagne under the white tent Giulia insisted on setting up.
Aria has stationed herself by the cake table, personally ensuring every child gets an equal-sized piece.
Bruno watches from the terrace, his wheelchair positioned in the shade.
He doesn't smile, but he doesn't leave either. Progress.
Lily opens presents in a flurry of torn wrapping paper—stuffed animals, art supplies, a microscope from Lorenzo and Sophia that makes her gasp with genuine excitement.
"For your experiments," Lorenzo says, winking at me. He knows about her butterfly collection, her endless questions about why the sky is blue and how flowers grow.
By six o'clock, the last parents have collected their sugar-high children, and Lily is sprawled on the grass, surrounded by her new treasures.
"There's one more surprise," Vittoria announces, appearing beside me with a grin that immediately makes me suspicious.
"V, what did you do?"
"Nothing." She loops her arm through mine. "Come on. You too, birthday girl."
Lily scrambles up, abandoning Sir Floppington the Fourth to follow us inside. Vittoria leads us to the home cinema room. The one with the massive screen that Nico uses for surveillance footage but the family pretends is for movie nights.
"Sit," Vittoria commands, pushing us toward the leather sectional.
Lily climbs onto my lap, still vibrating with residual party energy. Nico appears in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed. His expression gives nothing away, but I catch the slight tension in his shoulders. Nerves. Nico Sartori is nervous.
"What's going on?" I ask.
"Just watch." Vittoria grabs a remote and hits play.
The screen flickers to life, and suddenly Mickey Mouse appears. Standing in front of a castle I'd recognize anywhere. Sleeping Beauty's castle. Disneyland Paris.
"Bonjour, Lily!" Mickey waves at the camera. "Happy birthday!"
Minnie Mouse bounces into frame, holding a sign that reads: Lily, we can't wait to meet you!
I feel Lily go completely still on my lap.
"That's..." Her voice is barely a whisper. "That's Mickey Mouse."
"We heard it's your fifth birthday," Mickey continues, "and we wanted to invite you to come visit us! We'll be waiting for you right here in Paris!"
The video ends with both characters blowing kisses at the camera. The screen goes dark.
Silence.
Then Lily turns to look at me, her eyes enormous. "Mommy?"
I can't speak. My throat has closed completely. I look at Nico, then at Vittoria, then back at the blank screen where Mickey and Minnie just invited my daughter to the happiest place on earth.
"You're going to Disneyland, piccola," Nico says quietly. "The day after tomorrow."
The scream Lily releases could shatter glass.
She launches off my lap like a rocket, throwing herself at Vittoria first. "Thank you thank you thank you!" Then she's running—actually running—toward Nico, who barely has time to uncross his arms before she's climbing him like a tree.
She grabs his face between her small hands and plants kiss after kiss on his cheeks. "You're the best! The best!"
I'm crying. Fat, ugly tears rolling down my face while I watch my daughter cover Nico in kisses.
"Oh!" Vittoria snaps her fingers dramatically. "I totally forgot—we need ice cream. Lily, come help me pick flavors?"
Lily releases Nico's face, leaving him looking slightly dazed. "Can I get chocolate and strawberry?"
"You can get whatever you want, birthday girl." Vittoria shoots me a knowing look before herding Lily toward the door. "We'll be in the kitchen."
Then they're gone, and it's just me and Nico.
I stand on shaky legs and cross to him. He hasn't moved from the doorway, watching me approach with that intensity that used to terrify me.
"When are you going to stop spoiling us?" My voice cracks on the words.
Nico reaches out, his thumb brushing away a tear from my cheek. His hand is warm, calloused, steady.
"Never."
One word. So completely him.
I melt into his chest, his arms coming around me like they were designed to hold me together. His heartbeat thrums against my ear—strong, alive, here.
"I love you," I whisper into his shirt.
His arms tighten. "I know."
I laugh wetly. "You're supposed to say it back."
"I show you every day." His lips brush my hair. "But fine. I love you. Both of you. More than I knew I could love anything."
Nico
Three months ago, if someone told me I'd be wandering through Disneyland with mouse ears on my head and a five-year-old on my back screaming every time she spots something pink, I would have laughed until I choked.
Then I would have shot them for wasting my time.
But here I am. Mickey Mouse ears. Glitter on my jacket that I'm pretty sure will never come out. A stuffed Dumbo tucked under my arm because Lily decided he needed to see the castle too.
And I wouldn't change a single goddamn thing.
"Nico! Nico! Look!" Lily's fingers dig into my shoulders as she bounces. "It's the princess castle!"
"I see it, piccola."
"Can we go inside? Can we? Please?"
"We can do whatever you want."
She squeals directly into my ear. My hearing might never recover. Worth it.
Kristen walks beside us, her hand brushing mine every few steps like she needs to confirm I'm real.
She's wearing a simple white sundress and those ridiculous Minnie Mouse ears Lily insisted she buys.
Her hair falls loose around her shoulders.
Something she never did when I first met her.
Back then, everything about her was pulled back, contained, made small.
We've been wandering for hours. My feet ache. My back protests from carrying Lily more than I've walked on my own. The sun beats down, and I'm pretty sure I have ice cream on my shirt from when Lily decided to show me her cone mid-lick.
I don't care.
Because Kristen is glowing.
Not the kind of glowing people talk about in magazines. This is real. Her eyes keep going wide at every ride, every character, every overpriced souvenir shop. She photographs everything. Not just Lily, but the flowers, the architecture, the way light hits the water in the fountains.
She's never been anywhere like this. I know that without asking.
"Mommy!" Lily tugs on Kristen's dress. "Can I get the princess wand? The sparkly one?"
"Baby, you already got—"
"Yes," I interrupt.
Kristen shoots me a look. "Nico."
"What?"
"You can't say yes to everything."
"Watch me."
Her mouth twitches. She's fighting a smile and losing. "You're going to spoil her."
"That's the plan."
Lily cheers and squirms down from my back, grabbing Kristen's hand to drag her toward the shop. I follow, content to watch them navigate the crowded pathway.
Kristen moves differently here. Lighter. Her shoulders don't hunch.
This trip was supposed to be for Lily. The birthday present to end all birthday presents. But somewhere between the third carousel ride and the second character meet-and-greet, I realized the truth.
This is for Kristen.
Lily would have been thrilled with a backyard party and a new stuffed rabbit. She's five. Her joy threshold is beautifully low.
But Kristen? She's never had this. The magic of doing something just because it's fun.
I watch her kneel beside Lily in the shop, examining wands with the kind of serious consideration usually reserved for business negotiations. Lily waves one experimentally, nearly taking out a display.
Kristen doesn't scold her. She laughs and guides Lily's arm to a safer angle.
I did this, I think. I gave her this.
Not because I'm generous. I'm not. I'm selfish and possessive and I'd burn this entire park to the ground if anyone threatened them.
But I gave her this moment. This day. This life.
And she chose to stay.
That's the part that still breaks me.
She came back.
She chose me.
"Nico?" Kristen's voice pulls me back. She's standing in front of me, Lily clutching a sparkly wand that probably cost more than it should. "You okay?"
I realize I've been staring. "Fine."
Her eyes narrow. She doesn't believe me. She never believes me when I say fine. It's annoying and wonderful and I love her for it.
"You're doing that thing," she says.
"What thing?"
"The brooding thing. The intense staring thing." She steps closer, lowering her voice. "The thing that makes me want to drag you somewhere private."
My blood heats. "Don't tempt me."
"Mommy! Nico! Come on!" Lily tugs at both of us. "The parade is starting!"
Kristen grins at me before letting Lily pull her toward the crowd.
I follow. I will always follow.
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