Chapter 5
Chapter
Five
If I’d imagined that riding a giant worm through an underground tunnel would be a smooth journey, then I’d been fooling myself.
Neither Lady Penelope nor Thomas appeared unstable or uncomfortable but there wasn’t a single moment during the ride when I thought I wasn’t about to fall off and get squished to death beneath Dusty’s wormy weight.
Nothing about it was pleasant. The seating rose and fell with every undulation of Dusty’s body and at every lurch, of which there were many, I thought I was about to throw up.
Lady Penelope was softening slightly towards me, and Thomas didn’t appear to hold any grudges for me kneeing him in the balls, but I doubted they’d feel much warmth towards me if I vomited my dinner into their laps.
Thankfully Dusty moved quickly so the journey was mercifully short.
When we finally stopped, and I realised that there was not only light but also a cacophony of voices ahead, I breathed out and all but jumped off the worm before Thomas could release the ladder.
I landed inelegantly and sprawled on the ground but I didn’t care; I was just glad to be back on my own two legs. Worm travel was not for me.
Lady Penelope tsked and clambered down, whilst Thomas smirked and enjoyed the view of my sweaty, fallen body. ‘Why would you travel like that when you can fly?’ I gasped as I pulled myself upright.
‘It takes a lot of energy to shift into bat form,’ Thomas told me. ‘And it’s not a good idea on an empty stomach.’ He patted his belly for effect and wandered off, tossing out a casual aside over his shoulder. ‘Don’t get eaten before I can taste some of your blood, Ms McCafferty!’
‘I take it back,’ I muttered to myself. ‘It’s not that vampires don’t have a sense of humour. It’s that they have a warped sense of humour.’
Lady Penelope gave me a mild look. ‘What did you expect?’ she asked. ‘Come on. It is not far to the Bureaucratic Suite. Spit-spot.’ She glided away at top speed, leaving me to trot after her.
I paused to nod at Dusty. ‘Uh, thanks. For the lift. And the, uh, kiss.’
Dusty rumbled. I had no way of deciphering his meaning so I simply flashed the giant worm a shaky smile then took off after Lady Penelope.
Although this wasn’t my first venture into the Understream, last time all I’d seen was the maze of tunnels and a lot of darkness.
I’d assumed that it was nothing more than a convenient way for getting around when the faintest whisper of sunlight would cause you to spontaneously combust, and Thane had been of the same opinion.
So when Lady Penelope and I turned the corner and I saw what was in front of us, I couldn’t have been more astonished.
This wasn’t simply a series of tunnels: there were open spaces, too. Hell, there was a goddamned bustling community complete with crowded marketplace. I’d never imagined in my wildest dreams that anything like this existed beneath Coldstream’s cobbled streets.
Lady Penelope was obviously amused by my expression. ‘I read a report of your incursion into the Understream. There was some doubt as to how far you had penetrated and what you had witnessed.’
I closed my mouth, which had been hanging open with shock. ‘I told everyone several times exactly what I’d seen but it was nothing like this. There were only tunnels and doors leading to various properties.’
‘Yes, I am aware.’ She smiled politely. ‘Fortunately for you, the consensus was that you were telling the truth. I say fortunately because if there had been any indication that you were lying we would have required you to return to the Understream for proper punishment to ensure your ongoing silence.’
‘I haven’t breathed a word about this place to anyone,’ I said stiffly. Other than Thane but he’d also entered the Understream illegally and the vamps knew that.
‘I’m aware of that, too. Why do you think this visit has been approved? There are quite a few sun dwellers who know what is here, and some have permission to come down regularly, but we have to know that we can trust them first. Some secrets are not meant to be shared.’
‘Why is secrecy so important? Why does it matter?’
Lady Penelope took a moment before answering. ‘Everyone needs a safe space of their own, Ms McCafferty. Vampires have not always been treated fairly by other Preternaturals.’
I had to bite my tongue to avoid reminding her that centuries ago, probably within her own lifetime, vampires were responsible for draining the blood from scores of hapless victims who usually died horribly as a result.
Just because vampiric laws were more humane nowadays didn’t mean that the past could be erased.
No-one’s history is blemish free, a tiny voice reminded me inside my head. We’re not responsible for the sins of our fathers, and you’ve likely killed far more people than any vampire.
I stuffed my hands in my pockets and gazed around instead of dwelling on darker thoughts.
This market was larger than Henderson Market, the one I visited most frequently by the riverside on the edge of Danksville.
There were about fifty different stalls and, from what I could see, they sold a great variety of items. Clearly vampires were interested in more than blood, although many of the stalls appeared to be offering blood-related goods.
I desperately wanted to get a closer look.
Lady Penelope took pity on me. ‘We are not due at the Bureaucratic Suite for another twenty minutes. I will show you around.’
I gave her my first genuine smile. ‘Thank you.’
She narrowed her blood-red eyes. ‘You are welcome,’ she said slowly. ‘Come on.’ She pointed to the left. ‘We will start there.’
The market was busy and we had to weave our way between several groups of vampires.
More than one of them stiffened in alarm when they spotted me, and I registered five separate individuals making moves to approach with the promise of violence in their eyes.
I was already preparing myself for an attack, trying to work out how to best defend myself from them and escape without risking the wrath of the rest. Assassin skills or not, I’d never fight my way out of a crowd of this size.
My best shot was to block the oncoming attacks before taking to my heels.
There was a gap through the crowd to my right that would take me to a dark tunnel beyond, but I didn’t know the layout of the tunnels well enough to execute a perfect escape.
My mind whirled. Then the vamps noticed Lady Penelope and backed away as quickly as they’d approached, mollified by her presence by my side.
Hmm. She was more important in the vampire hierarchy than I’d realised, and it was clear that she was both trusted and respected. I was suddenly very glad she was there; it would be galling to be thrown out of the Understream before I’d gotten started.
‘Do not fret,’ she murmured, interpreting my thoughts. ‘My presence automatically permits you to be here. It will be easier for you to move around without me once you have been marked.’
Marked? My eyes narrowed: I didn’t like the sound of that. Lady Penelope only smiled enigmatically, however, and directed me to the first few market stalls. I would play dumb for now but my questions were increasing in number by the second.
There were four stalls selling books, three of them offering large, dusty tomes with cracked leather spines. I noted a few special volumes in glass containers.
The first bookseller beckoned me over. ‘Anthropodermic bibliopegy.’ He pointed at the nearest one and waggled his eyebrows. ‘Want to buy one?
I knew exactly what anthropodermic bibliopegy meant, but the bookseller didn’t know that.
To be fair, the book in question looked no different to any of the others.
Unless you knew already that it was bound in human skin, you couldn’t tell.
‘I prefer books with a decent storyline,’ I said. ‘Non-fiction isn’t my bag.’
He laughed aloud – at me, not with me. Whatever. ‘You couldn’t afford it anyway.’
I didn’t bother arguing but smiled with a thin veneer of politeness and moved on.
Thankfully there were no gruesome books on the next two stalls, but there were several tomes that were clearly magic.
The air around them pulsated and prickled with their power.
I resisted the temptation to flick through the pages; it was never wise to open an enchanted book unless you knew exactly what you were doing.
I slid past and checked out the fourth stall. Now we were talking: schlocky horror and vampire romances.
‘Not what I was expecting,’ I said to Lady Penelope but she didn’t hear me because she was focusing on the blurb of the paperback she had picked up.
The cover showed a skinny vampire wench wearing a low-cut dress.
The golden-haired man holding her to his chest was clearly a muscled human and the gold-embossed title read Fangs For The Memories. I repressed a snicker.
‘I have eclectic tastes,’ she sniffed.
I held up my hands. ‘I love a good romance,’ I said. ‘That one looks like fun.’
‘You do not strike me as the romantic type.’ She paid for the book and told the stall-holder that she’d collect it later.
‘I’ll let you into a secret,’ I whispered. ‘Everyone is the romantic type.’ And cat ladies possessed more romance in their souls than many committed couples who’d been dulled into the mediocrity of day-to-day life. I didn’t often voice that opinion aloud because it usually wasn’t popular.
Lady Penelope didn’t say anything but I sensed that she agreed.
The next section of stalls offered blood of every type imaginable, from ogre blood to human blood to dragon blood, although Lady Penelope assured me that the latter was merely normal blood laced with chilli pepper.
I even spotted several chilled vials of assassin blood.
I tried to remain nonchalant when I saw those labels but I wasn’t sure I succeeded.
‘Have you heard of EEL, Ms McCafferty?’