Chapter 6
Chapter
Six
‘Icannot condone this stubborn behaviour,’ Lady Penelope muttered as we marched in quick time towards a varnished red door set into the side of the large cavern.
‘I was starting to think that you were not as dreadful as I had anticipated, but now I fear that you are far worse. When I tell you to move, you move.’
I halted mid-step and dug in my heels. ‘Enough,’ I barked.
Her eyebrows rose. ‘Enough? How dare you?’
And to think that less than five minutes ago we’d been bonding over a shared appreciation of romance novels. I folded my arms. ‘I am here to help you. I didn’t ask to come to the Understream, I was told to come to the Understream.’
‘Only because you want to pass that silly course and become a Minor Investigator. As if Minor Investigator means anything to anyone. You are as bad as Alan.’
She might have had a point but that didn’t mean I was going to agree with her. ‘You’re the one with the problem with missing worms, not me. And it’s not a silly course. It teaches valuable skills.’
‘How about the skill of listening to your betters?’ Lady Penelope asked. ‘That doesn’t appear to have been covered.’
‘You know,’ I remarked, ‘I don’t tend to get angry very easily but you’re proving the exception to the rule.’
The red varnished door swung open and a bespectacled vampire blinked at us owlishly. ‘Well, this little venture is going as well as we expected,’ he said in a level voice. ‘Are you planning to come in, Ms McCafferty, or storm off in an adolescent huff?’
I’d been here less than an hour and I’d already had enough of vampires, but I wouldn’t let these bastards grind me down.
They wanted me to leave; they were probably praying deep in their cold, vampiric souls that I’d take sufficient offence to demand to be escorted to the outside world as quickly as possible.
I inhaled deeply, dropped my arms and plastered a sugary-sweet smile on my face.
I was Kit McCafferty; I didn’t throw tantrums, no matter how much I was goaded.
‘In your ancient eyes,’ I murmured, while Lady Penelope gasped with outrage, ‘I imagine I will always be considered an adolescent. Let’s get this over and done with. ’
He gave me a long, expressionless look. ‘Very well.’ He stepped back. ‘Welcome to the Suite for Bureaucratic Affairs. We are thrilled to welcome you.’ He didn’t smile and his eyes didn’t twinkle. His voice was as flat as I imagined the Maine Coon would be if Dusty ran over him.
I chose to match his tone but maintain my saccharine smile. ‘Great. Lucky me.’
The vampire’s expression didn’t alter though Lady Penelope sighed at my lack of deference. The woman was a veritable dictionary of idiosyncratic huffs, puffs and breathy tuts.
‘Do come in,’ the male vampire intoned, still without a trace of emotion.
I stepped across the threshold and looked around.
The Suite for Bureaucratic Affairs was like any other office: bland, beige and uninspiring.
Strangely, that reassured me because it felt normal, but then I reminded myself that nothing about vampires was normal.
That knowledge was reinforced by a poster on the wall of an idyllic beachfront somewhere in the Caribbean.
Even a fraction of that sunlight would fry a vampire within a heartbeat.
‘What should I call you?’ I asked, turning towards the man.
‘Sir,’ he said, utterly deadpan.
Ha. Ha. I waved a hand airily. ‘That’s so dehumanising. I much prefer a name. I’ll call you BS.’
For the first time, emotion flickered in his red eyes. I’d irritated him. Good. ‘BS?’ he asked coldly.
I grinned. ‘Short for Bureaucratic Suite.’ I knew that I should stop provoking him now that I’d received confirmation he wasn’t completely dead inside, but I was starting to enjoy myself.
‘You are most definitely an adolescent,’ Lady Penelope hissed in my ear.
I looked at her innocently. ‘I will be talking to lots of people so I need to keep their identities separate and distinct in my mind.’ I tapped my temple. ‘There is method to my madness.’
‘You…’
‘William,’ the man interrupted before our bickering descended into a full argument. ‘You may address me as William.’
Not a self-styled lord, then. Interesting that he’d foregone the usual vampiric convention of giving himself an elevated title: perhaps his role as a pencil pusher precluded fake aristocracy.
Either way, I allowed myself to be gracious.
It was a minor battle but it was an important one to win.
I’d conveyed that I wouldn’t let myself be pushed around and reiterated that I was there for a reason, and that was enough for me.
Plus, I needed the vampires to cooperate or I’d never get anywhere with the investigation.
‘Thank you, William.’ I smiled at him and this time it was genuine.
He pushed his spectacles up his nose. ‘You are welcome.’
‘Do you wear those glasses because you have poor eyesight?’ I asked curiously.
‘I thought that vampires lost such frailties when they turned.’ I paused.
‘I’m not asking out of nosiness. It’s important I understand as much about your kind as possible.
’ That part was certainly true: I wouldn’t achieve anything if I clung to stereotypes.
William ran his tongue over his thin lips. ‘We mostly retain whatever physical state our bodies are in when we ascend to this form.’
That made sense. You didn’t age if you became a vampire, but you didn’t become any younger and you didn’t miraculously become physically perfect – although, as Lady Penelope and many other vampires proved, you could expect to sport a gloriously blemish-free complexion.
I thanked him again and he seemed to relax slightly, as if he’d recognised that my question was indeed an honest one.
‘Is there anything else you wish to know about me before we proceed?’ he asked.
There was plenty I wanted to know but none of it was relevant to my role here. I shook my head.
‘Good.’ He directed Lady Penelope to a chair. ‘Wait here,’ he told her. ‘This will not take long.’
I expected her to protest but she did as he said, adjusting the skirt on her dress before sitting down and primly folding her pale hands. William pointed to a second door. ‘My office is this way. There is some paperwork you must fill out.’
I nodded amiably: I’d anticipated that. I followed him into the room and took a seat in front of a narrow, utilitarian wooden desk. There were no swanky antiques; the Suite for Bureaucratic Affairs took its bureaucracy seriously.
William opened a drawer and took out a folder, opened it and slid a piece of paper towards me. A map. I beamed. Excellent. That would be very helpful.
‘You do not possess any real jurisdiction here,’ he said, telling me nothing I didn’t know. ‘And you certainly do not have carte blanche within the Understream. Certain areas are off limits to you.’ He paused. ‘For good reason.’
He pointed at the map. ‘These sections of the Understream are unmapped, and even the bravest of vampires do not venture beyond the red lines without good reason. There is much to fear down here and there is no reason for you to enter the unknown.’
We were deep underground and it stood to reason that there would be dark dwelling creatures whom I’d best avoid. ‘Okay.’ I hesitated. ‘What if the missing worms have entered those areas?’
‘Then they are already lost. If you find evidence that they have ventured that far, let me know. However, we have already explored that possibility and there is nothing to suggest that the missing worms have gone beyond the usual boundaries.’
There was nothing to suggest where they’d gone, but I didn’t argue with him. I didn’t have any desire to wander down ancient, unmapped underground tunnels.
William tapped a spot on the map. ‘Here is the Shadow Temple. You may not sully its steps with your presence.’
I was aware that many vampires worshipped the Shadow – or Sgàthach an Eilean Sgitheanach to give the supposed deity her Gaelic name – but I wasn’t here to investigate religion. ‘Okay.’
William passed across a small wooden box akin to an old pill box. ‘The magicked powder inside this will allow you to enter the Understream when you wish. Next time you visit the clocktower, a pinch of it will open the entrance.’
I’d have loved to know what the powder contained but I knew better than to ask. I pocketed the box. ‘Thank you.’
‘You are welcome.’
I waited another beat for him to forbid me from investigating more areas on the map, especially the interesting looking ones. Instead he leaned back in his chair and smiled placidly. ‘That’s it?’ I asked, unable to keep the surprise from my voice.
‘It would be pointless to let you enter our domain then prevent you from going wherever your investigation takes you. We want to find out what has happened to the missing worms.’
He was being remarkably accommodating. I wondered if there was a trap that I wasn’t aware of but nothing sprung to mind. Maybe the vampires did want me to succeed. I would keep an open mind.
‘Alan has spoken warmly of you,’ William continued, reading my mind. ‘You are on a leash but be assured that it is a long one. The worms are part of our community and their wellbeing is important to us.’
I believed him. ‘I met Dusty on the way here. He seemed … pleasant.’
William smiled slightly. ‘He is.’ His eyes took on a distant gleam then he shook himself. ‘We are placing a great deal of trust in you in allowing you this freedom.’
An odd weight settled in my chest. ‘I won’t break that trust.’
‘I certainly hope not.’ He sniffed and his blank expression returned. He passed me a second piece of paper. ‘This is a standard blood contract that all non-vampires must sign before they can enter the Understream.’
I scanned it. It was straightforward enough: I couldn’t tell anyone about the tunnels’ existence; I couldn’t imply they were there, and I had to respect all local bylaws and customs. Any breach of the contract would result in pain and suffering. All perfectly reasonable.
‘My partner is already aware of the Understream,’ I said.
‘Thane Barrow.’ It wasn’t a question.
‘Yes. May I discuss what I’m doing with him?’
‘He is a werewolf.’
I wasn’t sure what that had to do with anything. ‘Yes, but he’s a lone wolf. He won’t share his knowledge of the Understream with his pack because he doesn’t have one.’
‘We are aware.’ William paused as if considering, but I sensed he had already prepared an answer. ‘Yes, you may discuss your experiences with him but he cannot come here with you, and if he repeats what you tell him to anyone else there will be severe consequences.’
That was good enough for me. I knew that Thane was trustworthy, more so than I was. I withdrew my curved dagger from my bag, nicked the tip of my index finger and pressed a bead of blood onto the paper.
‘Finally, I must mark you,’ William said. ‘This will discourage other vampires from challenging your presence.’ He pointed at my arm and I reluctantly held it out. ‘This is a magical mark. It is only temporary and will vanish after seven days.’
Translation: I was not welcome in the Understream once this week was over. I could live with that.
‘It might itch a little but it will not hurt.’
‘Is it binding in any way?’ I asked.
‘No, though it will allow us to track your location as long as you do not venture beyond the boundary on the map. It is a safety precaution for your benefit rather than ours.’
Presumably that precaution was in case any over-enthusiastic vamps took umbrage at my presence. It was obviously non-negotiable, and I was now so intrigued and interested in all things vampire that I pushed up my sleeve and indicated he could continue.
Seemingly out of nowhere, a small wooden peg appeared in William’s hand.
As he pressed it against my forearm, the air buzzed with magic.
I felt a tiny jolt like an electric shock and then it was over.
I looked down at the small red mark. I’d been expecting a circle, like Trilby’s but this was merely a curve. It reminded me of an arched cat’s tail.
‘You look surprised,’ William said. ‘I told you it wouldn’t hurt.’
I rubbed the mark gingerly; it did itch. ‘I was expecting a circle.’
He blinked. ‘A circle? Oh no. Nobody gets a full circle apart from…’ His voice faltered and his red eyes flicked to mine. ‘What you have now will more than suffice.’
I examined his expression but he was giving nothing away. Hmm.
‘Now,’ he continued briskly, ‘you are free to come and go as you wish for the next seven days. Your permission will lapse next Friday at exactly 11.59pm. I must warn you that although you are free to move around and talk to whomsoever you wish, no vampire will be forced to speak to you. While we all hope that the mystery of the missing worms is revealed and there are no further disappearances, you do not have any authority here. If you uncover information, you will convey it to me or to Alan before you speak to the MET. And no vampires are to be harmed in the course of your investigation.’
I held up my hands. ‘Wouldn’t if I could.’
William didn’t miss a beat. ‘You killed Lord Brassick.’
‘That was a fluke,’ I lied.
‘If you say so.’ He paused. ‘There are to be no further flukes.’
‘I’ll do my best.’
‘Do better than that, Ms McCafferty.’
I was starting to warm to William, and I enjoyed aspirational targets even when they seemed far out of reach. ‘Watch this space,’ I told him.
‘Oh, I shall,’ he assured me with only a hint of darkness.