Chapter 16
Chapter
Sixteen
WINDER
Ishouldn’t have kissed her. I couldn’t believe I fucking kissed her.
It was everything I ever imagined it would be, from the first day I watched her smiling at my brother, wearing that goddamn blue sundress, the one with the tiny white flowers.
I think I knew right then and there, watching those full lips curl up in a grin not meant for me, that I wanted to kiss her.
I wanted to make her mine.
But that was before. Before all this, before the nightmares, before Blaire showed up at the parties, before fucking Conrad.
Conrad. He only complicated things further. Fuck, I was an idiot. I saw my opportunity, and I had taken it. Leon was watching us, talking to one of his lackeys next to him, and I needed to distract him, so I said the first words that popped into my mind—kiss me.
There were a lot of other words I could’ve added to it.
Kiss me like you love me. Kiss me like you know I’ve loved you for years, and I’ll probably love you until I’m nothing but dust in the ground.
Kiss me like we aren’t in this twisted situation, pulling us apart, even as we orbit closer and closer to each other.
Kiss me like we’re meant to be.
Kiss me like there will never be anyone else for me, because the moment I saw you in that blue sundress with the tiny white flowers, and your goddamn smile, I knew you had poisoned me.
Those words remained trapped, stuck behind my teeth. And when I sank into the kiss, and felt it in every cell of my body, I knew I fucked up. We could never be any more than this.
My flimsy excuse disappointed her. I knew as soon as I watched her face fall. In another life, I would’ve held her face between my hands, like crystal I was afraid to break, and I would’ve kissed her over and over again.
Her face was nearly the perfect mask. Her tells were old news to me, but to anyone else, she would’ve been emotionless. I couldn’t stand knowing I hurt her, so I looked past her instead, to Leon.
His glare told me exactly where we stood. He might’ve owed me a favor before, but we were even now, and Blaire pissed him off. Another man leaned over to speak in Leon’s ear, watching me watch them, a stupid game of chicken.
Leon smirked, cocking his head. I didn’t like the way my stomach sank when I saw that expression. I didn’t know what that man had told him, but I knew it wasn’t anything good.
I grabbed Blaire’s hand, limp in mine now. “We need to get out of here.”
“No reason to stay if you got what you needed.” She followed me without another word.
Her eyes were somewhere else, watching something else happen, and a pang of guilt shot through me. I should’ve warned her, and told her Leon usually laced his weed with a little bit extra. Not like it mattered now.
Unease still sat in my stomach, a brick I couldn’t move. Conrad was going to be a problem. I could handle it, but I wasn’t looking forward to it.
“Winder!” Leon’s shout carried across the room, over the music.
Fuck. Whatever he was up to, I wanted no part of it. I tried to pull Blaire out the door quicker, but Leon was already next to us. His smile was wide and nasty, and spoke to the disease that brewed inside his heart. Get out, I thought. I needed to get Blaire out of here.
“What’s up?” I asked. Blaire stiffened beside me, and now I had to not only worry about Leon doing something completely out of pocket, but I had to make sure she didn’t go fucking apeshit again.
He smacked his forehead, his grin dripping with satisfaction. “You know, it was bothering me our entire conversation. Because I could’ve sworn I’d seen your woman somewhere before....”
Icy blood pumped through my veins, chilling me. No. No. No. He wouldn’t. He didn’t. There was no way he knew. He was from a different circle entirely. “We’re leaving. Thanks for your help, but we’ve got it from here.”
“Her skanky outfit tonight threw me off completely!”
Blaire’s nails dug into my hand, and as much as I wanted to tear his fucking face off for saying that, I needed to get her out of here. This wasn’t how she should find out.
“Watch your fucking mouth,” I hissed. I snapped my wrist, pulling Blaire away from the situation.
My arm jerked. To my surprise, Blaire stayed put. She looked up at Leon, a crease between her brows. “You’ve seen me?”
Fuck’s sake. Her fucking curiosity had gotten the better of her. This was the end of me. Hell would open up and swallow me whole for the lies I’d told, and the sins I’d committed in the name of protecting her.
Leon’s smile was a knife’s edge, ready to slice me open. “It wasn’t until my associate reminded me why I hadn’t figured it out. The last time I saw you, you were with the other brother.”
“What?” Blaire’s voice was small, so unsure, and I ached for how lost she must feel, how adrift her memories must be.
The flames were already licking my feet, ready to incinerate me with a moment’s notice.
“Leon. Not like this.” I threw my Hail Mary, hoping he had at least a shred of humanity left in him. “She doesn’t remember.”
“What don’t I remember?” She whipped her head back and forth, looking between myself and Leon, and I was once again struck by her effortless beauty.
I had done this for her. I just needed to remember that. Everything I did, every lie I told, was for her.
Leon shook his head, dragging out the moment so the knife had time to bury itself inside my chest. “I think I should let Winder tell you. I wouldn’t want to steal his spotlight.”
Never before had I wanted to hurt someone as badly as I wanted to hurt Leon right then. The only thing keeping me from rendering him a bloody pulp at my feet was that image would only traumatize Blaire more, and what I was about to tell her would hurt already.
“You’ll pay for this.” I kept my voice steady and icy, inflecting every ounce of venom that lay beneath my skin. “Every bit of pain she feels, I’ll make you feel tenfold. For every scar on her body, I’ll leave two on yours.”
“Winder, you’re scaring me.” Blaire’s face was raw when she looked up at me, every piece of the mask stripped away, leaving just a lost, broken woman in front of me. Damage done, Leon melted back into the crowd, leaving just me and my secrets.
My time had come. The gates of Hell were open, waiting to welcome me home. I pulled her away from the small crowd, all leaning in, toward the far side of the porch where it was quieter. “I need you to listen, and to not freak out until I’ve explained everything to you.”
“Okay...” She was ready to run, every muscle tensed.
“When I told you we’ve known each other a long time, I wasn’t lying. But I let you believe I had met you at the parties. It was obvious you were missing memories, and you had no idea who I was, or what I was to you.”
Blaire opened and closed her mouth, blinking slowly. “How long have we known each other then?”
I swallowed, my pride slipping down my throat. “The first time I met you was ten years ago, when my brother introduced you to me as his new girlfriend.”