Chapter 25
Chapter
Twenty-Five
WINDER
Iwanted nothing more than to crawl into bed, Blaire curled up next to me, but unfortunately, that couldn’t happen quite yet.
We had a mess to clean up first.
Blaire was on her hands and knees beside me, and not in the way I would’ve liked.
“Can I have the bleach?” she asked.
“Here.” I passed her the jug, nearly empty by now.
The bathroom looked miles better than it had when we first started, but I didn’t think we were ever going to get the residual red stain out of the porcelain. I doubted any of my housemates would notice, let alone care.
I wiped down the rest of the tub, and sat back on my heels to examine my work. Mopping up a bathroom of blood wasn’t on my list of favorite things to do at 2AM, but I guessed it could be worse.
“Winder?”
“Yeah, baby? I’m almost done here.” I scrubbed at a small spot I missed the first time.
“I have a question.”
I threw my rag into the bucket of soapy water next to me, and turned to face her. “Shoot.”
She followed suit, sitting on the now-clean floor with her arms wrapped around her knees. “Who is Conrad?”
My hands twitched. I knew this question was unavoidable, and yet, now it was here, I wanted to run in the other direction.
“Conrad is…a powerful man in my world. He runs a large drug ring, but doesn’t like to get his hands dirty.
Him looking for you isn’t exactly a good thing, but it does make perfect sense. ”
Blaire tucked her chin into her knees, looking up at me. “What do you mean?”
I stripped off the plastic gloves I wore, sprawling my legs out.
If I was going to have this conversation, I might as well get comfortable.
“You and Oliver were on a major drug bust when…when it all went south. It had to have been someone big enough to warrant not wanting their names to get out there, and someone with enough power with both the cops and the press to make it disappear. If you were close to getting Conrad, and he found out, well…all of this falls into place.”
“If he’s so powerful, why didn’t he come for me sooner? It’s not exactly like I’ve been in hiding all these years, even if I didn’t remember. I’ve been here, in the city.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “He could’ve done anything, at any point. Why now?”
I shrugged, helpless. “I wish I knew. I truly do. Maybe you weren’t enough of a problem with your memory loss, until you were. Maybe he’s playing some kind of long game we don’t understand yet. All I know is that you’re on his radar now, and he’s not going to stop until he gets you.”
She sat quietly, but I knew that look. I knew it all too well. She might have been able to fool other people with her silence, but I had always been able to read her like a book.
It was one of the things that hurt the most.
“Speak, Blaire. You might as well say what’s on your mind before you explode.”
Blaire licked her lips. “It’s just that…I don’t know. You just seem to have such a visceral reaction to his name.”
The blade in my chest twisted a bit, a sharp reminder I didn’t want.
“It was Conrad’s men I took the fall for when I went to prison.
Like I said, Conrad is powerful. Powerful enough that he doesn’t like to get his hands dirty.
But also powerful enough he could’ve gotten me out.
Instead, he decided I was low enough on the totem pole that he would let the state have me. ”
“Oh, Winder. I’m sorry.” Blaire’s eyes were wide, and her hand tried to close the gap between us.
“Don’t be. It’s in the past now.” Even if it did cut me every time I thought about how foolish I was.
“Besides, I’m a sidewinder, remember? I used it to my advantage.
I took the fall for Conrad’s guy, so when I left when I got out, it wasn’t questioned.
I’ve always kept him on my good side. I just made it clear I needed to run solo for a bit.
As long as I kept my mouth shut, we were cool. ”
“But now…” Blaire looked at the bathtub where Leon had bled out earlier.
“But now, I’m hiding you,” I agreed. “And if it really is him looking for you, and I’m protecting you, well…that’s a slight he’s not going to accept.”
“You don’t have to protect me, Winder. I don’t want my actions to fall back on you, especially if you’ve been on his good side.” She pushed her hair away from her face. “These are my mistakes, and I should handle them on my own.”
My mouth turned up into something not quite a smile. “Baby, alive or dead, you’ve never been on your own. Haven’t you realized that by now?”
Tears sat, not yet spilled, behind Blaire’s eyes. “Winder. I can’t ask you to risk it all for me like that.”
I rose, and offered her my hand. “You’re not asking. I’m telling. Come on, let’s go to bed.”
And in the space between my heartbeats, the space where she had lived for the last ten years, she took my hand.
We dozed, off and on, in each other’s arms, and by the time the sun came up I had a plan. If Conrad really was behind all this, there was one man who would know for sure. I’d ask around, see where he’d be, and then I’d take Blaire with me to meet him.
I didn’t like taking her with me to meet with the people I dealt with on a daily basis, especially after what happened with Leon, but we were past the point where I had options.
Blaire wasn’t getting any better. I wouldn’t say it aloud, but I didn’t think she would stop killing until she got what she wanted—either Conrad, or the truth.
Each blackout ate away at her a little more, a night terror that couldn’t be wiped clean.
What I told her was the truth, but it was incomplete.
Even so, it didn’t make any difference to me.
But I could see it eating away at her, little by little, and that killed me.
I couldn’t lose her again, not when she’d just come back to me.
At this point, I had to find Conrad before I lost her completely.