13. Jasmin
Jasmin
“What the hell did you say? What about Russia?” I asked, glad I was sitting down for that declaration.
Fucking A, couldn’t I just get one day without shit piling up on my lap? Yesterday, I got a bomb the size of Hiroshima obliterating my world, now Russia.
“So let me get this shit straight. Yesterday, I find out that the president is my long lost fucking uncle, no disrespect, Sir. Then I find out that my dead father, the man that raised me, Zane’s dad, and my uncle the president were all CIA operatives.
Part of an operation that took out an assassin’s father.
Now for the big God damn cherry on that shit pile, said assassin is out for revenge and trying to kill the President of the United States.
Did I get all that shit straight? Because I haven’t even begun to process all this.
Now you fuckers want to pile Russia on top of me?
” I was on a tirade. I jumped up and started my normal pacing.
“Can’t a girl catch a break? What the fuck?
I have asked for two God damn years about Russia.
Now all of a sudden you fuckers wanna be forthright. ”
Once I was done with my mini temper tantrum, all the men in the room looked like I had grown three heads. Shit and damn. Seriously though, why can’t a girl catch a break?
“Jas, I need you to listen….” Z had the audacity to even speak to me.
“Do not ‘Jas’ me, asshole. Two years, two whole fucking years, I have talked to you about Russia, begging you to help me understand, and now I find out you fucking lied to me. You’re a God damn liar.
I have never betrayed you and how do you repay me?
Fuck all of you!” I was on a roll. All my control had slipped.
I felt my vision start to blacken. Not again.
Please, Lord, do not let me black out again.
These God damn headaches were killing me.
They were getting worse. Before I could hit the floor, strong arms wrapped around me and I was off my feet.
Unwillingly, I pressed my face into his neck and inhaled the familiar scent of Linc.
Strong and comforting, safe and familiar, why did Linc always feel so safe ?
“You’re safe. I’ve got you, sweet Jasmin.” I heard a muffled far away voice.
“Please, Ghost, help me,” I whimpered, half unconscious.
I felt my body rocking and something cool pressed against my forehead.
My eyes slowly started to open. I tried to close them again to keep the memory from fading.
It was like déjà vu. I had been here before; I had felt this before.
I just could not place where and the memory wouldn’t stay in my mind long enough to pull it out.
When I opened my eyes, I saw it on each of their faces. Guilt. They had all lied to me, they knew something. I had to get the hell out of here. I jumped off Linc’s lap before he had a chance to stop me.
“Get the fuck away from me, all of you.” Before I could take one step toward the door, a large hand grabbed my arm.
On instinct, I spun around and threw out a punch. Linc dodged his head to the side just as my fist glided through the space where his face had been. Before I even knew what happened, I was wrapped up in a tight hold.
“Calm the fuck down, woman!” Linc shouted in my ear .
I continued to struggle and fight his hold to no avail. My last resort was to bite down on his forearm.
“Christ. Mother fuck. Woman, I am two seconds from turning you over my knee and spanking your ass red, and not the fun kind of spanking. Stop fucking moving. Now!” Linc snapped as he twisted me in his hold, not allowing me to move.
“If you even try to spank me, I will shoot your ass dead. Do not fuck with me, Lincoln Parker. I am done with this bullshit,” I threatened.
I felt his grip loosen just enough for me to drop down, lowering my center of gravity. Taking him by surprise, I stepped out to the side and reached my right hand up behind his neck. In one smooth practiced motion, I rolled Lincoln’s body over my hip. He hit the floor with a loud thud.
“Fuck you!” I screamed and looked down at Linc flat on his back.
Before I could move, Linc was on his feet and I was over his shoulder. One large hand came down on my ass with a smack. This asshole spanked me. He actually, fucking spanked me in front of my team and the president.
“Let me the fuck down.” I pounded on his back.
“Shut the fuck up.” He smacked my ass again.
We entered into one of the downstairs bedrooms and I went flying onto the bed, hitting it so hard I bounced.
“Now what, Lincoln? You wanna go another round? You think you can fuck me now that I am not so weak and vulnerable like I was last night?”
Linc looked like I slapped him. His face grew stormy and he was angrier than I had ever seen him.
“You shitting me? You have got to be fucking shitting me! That’s how you want to play this, Jasmin?
That last night I took advantage of you?
That last night you were not with me every step of the way?
Please tell me you are fucking shitting me, because last night I had my woman in my bed, her legs spread wide while I ate her pussy and fed her my dick and she was fucking with me.
Every God damn step of the way.” He had inched his way toward the bed, and I started to scramble back.
“I know you are hurt. I get why. I know you are pissed off. Again, I get that, too, but do not be a bitch. Do not, for one fucking second, try and play like last night did not mean something, because if you do, you are a God damn liar.”
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you. First, you call me a bitch and then a liar. Hello, pot, meet kettle. And, fuck you, what happened last night will never happen again. I was upset and weak and you were a warm dick. That’s all, Lincoln. I am not your woman.” I almost choked on my lie.
I could not stop the verbal vomit from spewing out of my mouth.
I wanted to hurt him as much as I was hurting.
In my mind, this was all his fault; my life was perfect until he rolled in two days ago.
Now I had turned soft and weak, letting some man tear down the walls I had spent a lifetime building.
“Careful, Jasmin,” he warned.
“Or what? What is big bad, Lincoln, Ghost, Parker going to do? We have already established that if you touch me again, I will kick your ass and now that I have fucked you, I am done. You should’ve held out longer, not given me your dick so quick if you wanted to hold some semblance of control. ” Why would my mouth not shut up?
Why could I not stop? I was poking one pissed off bear, but I could not make it stop.
My mouth was just saying shit I did not mean.
I wanted him to wrap me up tight and keep me safe.
I wanted to give all this shit going on over to him.
I needed his strength, but inside I fortified my walls and pushed him out.
I was saying the most ridiculous shit just to make sure I pushed him far enough out he would not want to come back.
His eyes came up and met mine. They were spitting fire. Shit and damn. I went too far .
“That’s how you’re going to play this? That all last night was some quick dick for you?
You wanna blame me and push me away, I’ll give you that play.
But, Jasmin, you better hear this and hear it well.
Woman, you have about five seconds to cool your jets and rethink that play, because when I walk out that door, I am done,” he warned.
Cue my fucking mouth. “How big of you. I don’t need five seconds. I’ll take my five orgasms and be done. Don’t worry about leaving, I’m out!” I jumped off the bed and started past him. His arm shot out and grabbed my wrist as I walked by.
His face was stone and his eyes looked vacant. Yup, I’d pushed too far. “It was all for you, sweet Jasmin . Goodbye.” With that very well placed parting shot, my heart shattered into a million pieces.
I waited until I heard the slam of the door before I broke down.
I would give myself this, this one moment of weakness.
White hot rage consumed me and I slammed my fist on the wall.
Swiping everything off the dresser, I watched as it shattered on the floor.
I looked at the broken pieces; not so unlike my life… broken and shattered.
“Fuck!” I roared.
The door flung open so hard it crashed into the wall behind it with a loud bang. Fuck it, what was one more hole in the wall? Z stomped in the room looking as furious as I felt.
“You done?” That is what this asshole had to say to me.
“Go to hell!” I was in no mood to play games.
“I’m already there, Jasmin. Get your ass out here so we can finish.” With that, Z turned and left.
Why did that hurt so bad? My heart literally hurt.
I felt like in the last 24 hours I had found out my entire life had been a lie.
My parents, my dad, my uncle, and now even my team.
I had lost every one of them. It was time to get this shit over with and get the fuck off this peninsula.
I needed to get home and pack my shit. California sounded good; somewhere warm and sunny where people just wanted to mind their own business.
Maybe I’d take up knitting and never leave my house.
I hated people. They always fucked you over.
“Where’s Linc? I wanna get this shit done. I’m sure all of you have a mission to brief and I want out of here,” I stated with absolutely no emotion in my voice. There was nothing left.
“He went outside for a smoke. I need you to promise me something before we start.” Z had regained his composure, his voice much like mine; devoid of any real emotion .
“What’s that, LT?” I sat down on the couch, suddenly exhausted from my emotional outburst.
“First, I need you to promise me that we will talk after we are done,” Z requested. That was simple. I would still have to go to the office and hand in my resignation and clear out my locker. That was an easy promise.