17. Lincoln
Lincoln
I must have walked these fucking grounds for hours, walking mile after mile trying to clear my head.
At first, I followed Jasmin out to the water’s edge, listening to Tom tell her about her parents, then to Zane giving her marital advice.
My own God damn traitorous brother, what the hell?
He has always had a soft spot for that woman, even before the capture.
I asked him once if he was in love with her.
He laughed in my face and told me she was not his type.
I found that hard to believe. Jasmin was anyone’s type.
Deciding on a cold shower and some rest, I walked back into the house, ignoring my brother’s attempt to get my attention.
I was not in the right frame of mind to have another chat about my wife and what I needed to do about her.
I needed to keep my mind on the mission and if I was lucky, I could squeeze in a few hours of sleep.
We had called in a marker with the Commander of group one, SEAL team Seven.
He was allowing us to use one of his platoons led by Captain Black.
He was going to assist us through one of the many drug smuggling tunnels from California into Mexico.
The tunnels are the easiest and fastest way to get to Tecate.
Sonreír had a large compound there nestled in between a four-star resort and the slums of Encinos.
Our intel showed he was back at his compound with three bodyguards.
It should be a straight forward mission; four men to take out.
No sooner did I step foot in my room, I heard the screaming start. “Stop, don’t touch him! I’ll fucking gut you! Stop!”
I bolted back out my door and down the hall to Jasmin’s room just as she yelled out again. “Fuck you, you’ll have to kill me first! Don’t touch him, mother fucker!”
I shouldered open her door and stumbled in the room as she yelled out again. “Nooo, Ghost, please help me!”
It was always that last plea for help that twisted my gut.
Like all the times before, I had to scoop her off the bed and shake her awake.
Two years ago, this was almost a nightly occurrence; me being awoken by her screams of terror and thrashing around.
Punching out and crying in her sleep. I thought the nightmares had ended when she lost her memory.
I grabbed onto her as tightly as I could and sat on the floor with her, whispering in her ear over and over again, “You’re safe, I got you.”
It took several minutes for her to open her eyes and stop kicking. When she looked at me with her tearful hazel eyes, it was almost my undoing. I wanted to hold her and tell her I loved her like I had done a thousand times.
A few seconds passed before she was fully aware of her surroundings.
I started to get up, needing to be far away from this woman.
The longer I held her, the harder it was to let her go.
Knowing I had to give up the other half of my soul was fucking unbearable.
Never in my life had I thought it possible to love someone so much.
“I remembered,” she whispered. She held onto me when I tried to set her off my lap. “Well, I think it was a memory.”
My body tightened in anticipation and I tried to keep my voice even. “That’s great, Jasmin. Hopefully, all the memories will come back. That is, if you want them to. ”
I had to get out of this God damn room. I could not go another round with her. My head had to be clear for my mission in the morning.
“We were getting ready to go out. I had just gotten out of the shower and you were watching me…”
I stood up, placing her on her feet, stopping her from finishing.
I had years of training learning how to compartmentalize shit, however at this moment, I was having a hard time recalling any of it.
Memories of our time together were flooding my mind, one scene after another.
Each one vivid and threatening to break my already thinly stretched control.
It was hard enough to keep the cold detached voice. “I’d better go,” I stated blandly.
“You told me I smelled like night Jasmin. The lotion I was using was scented. Was that real?” she asked hopefully.
“I don’t have time for a trip down memory lane. I have a mission in six hours. I have to go.” I started for the door.
“Why are you being a dick? Just tell me if it was a memory,” she demanded as she started to pace her room, rubbing the scar on her arm. Thank fuck, we were able to skin graft that brand off her beautiful skin.
“Serious as shit, woman! The hell do you want?” She would not stop pushing and I was fast losing my temper. “Yes, it was a God damn memory. That was your favorite lotion; you would slather it all over your body when you got out of the shower.”
Her body started to shake as she stood in the faint moonlight. In the middle of the bedroom, the only other light was coming in from the open door leading to the hallway.
“Will you please stay with me?” she asked in a sob.
“No.”
“Please, Lincoln, I need you. I am starting to remember. I need my husband,” she pleaded.
She looked so damn beautiful as she spoke the words I desperately wanted to hear for so long.
Her long whiskey hair was down and fell halfway down her back, her eyes begging me for comfort.
Comfort I could not give her. Not right now.
I was at war with myself. My head said run, but my heart wanted to stay.
“Fuck that noise. That is some low shit right there, even for you.” God damn this woman. Shit. “I have shit to do, Jasmin…” Before I could get out another word, Jasmin detonated with rage.
“You’re being an asshole just to hurt me.
I deserve it. I screwed up. Shit, Lincoln, I am so fucking sorry!
I was wrong. I didn’t mean a God damn word I said.
I need you to forgive me. When I was leaving the CIA and getting my new identity, I could not understand why I chose the name Jasmin.
It didn’t fit who I am, all girly, but that name was all I could think of.
I didn’t get it then. I do now. My heart remembered you, even when my mind would not.
Just like I promised you.” She was practically hyperventilating as she spoke.
It was too much; I could not do this before an operation. I had to get out of here. All these years, I thought Zane picked out her name when she got new identification; he knew I loved the smell of Jasmin on her. I never knew it was her decision.
“I have to go.” Fuck. Now I sounded like a broken record.
“Will you talk to me when you get back?” she asked, somewhat calmer.
“Serious as shit, Jasmin, leave it alone.”
“Lincoln Parker, I swear to Christ, I will hunt your ass down and find you in whatever hole you decide to run to. We are talking when you get home. I want this resolved. I want my husband back. I get it, I screwed up. But, damn, can you give me a break? I didn’t fucking know.”
I would have agreed to anything at that point just to get the hell out of that room. “Fine, Jasmin. I’ll find you when I get back.”
Before I made it all the way out the door, her little ass was in front of me. Blocking the door, she grabbed my face with both hands. “You be safe and come home to me.”
Her lips were on mine before I could answer her, my body reacting on instinct.
I could not deny this woman, even when I was pissed as hell at her.
I took over the kiss, gathering her hair in one hand, pulling her head to the side to get a better angle.
She groaned into my mouth and pressed her perfect tits harder onto my chest. Damn it to hell, this woman was sexy as shit.
I could feel her tight nipples through her thin tank top as she rubbed herself against me.
She went for the waistband of my pants and started to unbutton them. Next thing I felt was her soft little hand grabbing a hold of my throbbing erection, her thumb rubbing over my piercing and it was my turn to groan.
“Jasmin,” I started in a tight voice.
“No talking, Lincoln, just feel me. Laura, not Jasmin. Remember me,” she whispered.
There was no way I could turn her down. As much as I knew I needed to walk away from her, I simply could not.
Laura or Jasmin, it did not matter what name she used.
Bottom line, she was mine. Just one more time, then I would give her the time she needed, the time I should’ve given her before I took her the first time .
I picked her up and wrapped her legs around my waist, shutting the door, plunging the room into near darkness.
I walked us to the bed and gently laid her down.
I did not need the light to navigate her body.
I had committed every detail to memory. I knew every part of this woman; every fear, every dream, and every sexual desire.
I slowly removed her tank top and the boxer shorts she slept in most every night.
Her body was flawless. Even with all of her battle scars, it was utterly perfect.
I kissed her stomach, remembering there was a time we had talked about having babies.
Arguing over which one of us would give up being an operator to take care of our tribe.
We both wanted to have a home full of children.
I peeled my clothes off as quickly as I could, eager to get inside of her.
Once I was divested of clothes, I climbed onto the bed next to her, kissing my way over her perky tits, gently biting each one before continuing on to the soft skin under her neck.
She threw her head back and moaned her approval.
I slid a hand down through her neatly trimmed hair to test her readiness.
She was slick and hot and more than ready.