Chapter 18 #2
“Is this real?” There’s a pause between each word. I recognize the signs. He’s remembering how to speak out loud. “Are we really out?”
I stop in front of him. “It’s real.”
He stares at me, waiting for the trick … the catch. The moment when this turns into another kind of cruelty.
“What is your name?”
His lips part. Close. Part again. Then he blinks. He forms the word silently first, testing the shape of it.
“Maedric.” His voice wobbles. “I was … I was Maedric.”
“Not was.” I keep my voice soft and reach out to rest my hand on his shoulder. Slowly, so he can see it coming. So he can avoid it if he needs to. He doesn’t. “You still are.”
His face crumples. “I don’t know what I am anymore,” he whispers.
“You are Maedric. You are fae.”
His head lifts. I wait until his eyes meet mine.
“And now you are free.”
His entire posture changes at that. Spine straightening, shoulders pulling back. As though until I said it, he hadn’t really believed it.
“Can you fight? Not today, but when you’ve rested and healed. Do you think you can fight?”
His tongue swipes across his lips. “I used to be good at that. Before.”
“Then you’ll be good at it again.” I offer him my hand. He stares at it for a long moment, before clasping it. His grip is weak, but sure.
“What … what can I do now?”
“If you have the strength, find Vel and help her organize food for everyone. If not, then rest, and let your magic heal you.”
He nods. “Yes, I can help.”
I pat his shoulder and move on to the next one. And the next. And the next.
Most of them aren’t ready to talk, and I don’t force it.
I just move among them, letting them see me, letting them know I’m here.
Some of them track me, others don’t even register I exist. One female starts keening when I get too close, so I back away and give her space.
A male grabs my wrist and won’t let go until I pry his fingers loose, one by one, murmuring assurances I’m not sure he hears.
By the time I’ve made my way through half of them, my chest feels like it’s filled with broken glass.
There’s one face I haven’t seen yet. One person I’ve been putting off seeking out. I keep walking, passing through the courtyard, and along the passageway that leads to the cages.
I find him inside his cage. The door stands open, but he hasn’t moved. I knew what I’d find. I saw him through Alleria’s eyes but knowing and seeing are two very different things.
His hands rest in his lap, palms up, and fingers slightly curled. He doesn’t pay any attention when I step into the cage.
“Caelum.”
Nothing. Nothing even a flicker of acknowledgement.
I lower myself to the ground across from him, our knees almost touching.
“We’re out. We killed them.”
His eyes don’t move. His breathing doesn’t change. I wait for something—anger, relief, anything—and get nothing.
My fingers curl into fists against my thighs, fury a living thing in my chest, clawing for release. I already killed everyone at the Dell responsible. There’s no one left here for me to take out my anger on.
“I’m going to get you out of here.” I don’t know if he can hear me, but I talk as though he can. “We’re going to find somewhere safe. And if you never come back … if this is all that’s left … then I’ll make sure you’re taken care of. You are not going to die in this cage, Caelum. I swear it.”
One hand twitches. Just once.
I reach out and cover his fingers with mine. They’re cold, almost icy. I will what warmth I have into him, for all the good it does.
Caelum held a mountain pass against two hundred humans, with nothing but twenty fae and sheer bloody-minded stubbornness. When I asked him later how he’d done it, he just shrugged and said I was too angry to die.
He’s not angry now. He’s not anything.
I stay there, holding his hands in mine, until Vel’s voice calls my name.
By midday, I have my count.
Vel and Therin meet me near the well, both still blood-spattered.
“Thirty who can function. Maybe another twenty who will come back with time. The rest—” I shake my head.
“Thirty.” Vel’s jaw tightens. “That’s barely a third who can follow orders. The humans knew what they were doing.”
“They’re not all broken the same way,” Therin says. “Some of them will just need time, space, and food that isn’t slop.”
“Time we might not have.”
“Then we work with what we have.” I look between them. “I want everyone inside before dark. Mix the functional ones in with those who need help.”
“And the ones who are truly gone? The ones who won’t come back no matter how much time we give them?” Vel’s voice is harsh.
I don’t answer right away. My thoughts go to Caelum, sitting in his open cage, staring at nothing.
“They are still our people, Vel. We don’t leave them to die in the dirt.”
“We can’t waste resources on living corpses, Cairn.”
“I know that. If they can’t eat or drink, if they’re so broken that they can’t respond to anything at all, we will give them the peace they need.”
She nods. Vel has never been one for sentiment.
“I already have Maedric distributing food and water. I’ll select another two and we’ll start moving people into the buildings.”
“We need perimeter guards. Even if you can set wards, some humans are immune. We need a secondary warning system,” Therin says.
He’s right, so I don’t argue.
“If anyone approaches, I want to know immediately.”
The rest of the day passes in small crises and even smaller victories.
Getting them inside is brutal.
Some come willingly, following orders, finding spaces and settling without complaint. Those are the ones who remember what it means to be part of something larger, even if their hands shake and their eyes jump at every sound.
Others have to be guided, coaxed, and sometimes carried.
One male refuses to cross the threshold of the small barracks, backing away each time we try to bring him through.
Something about the doorway terrifies him.
Maybe because it reminds him of the cage door that only opened when they were taking him somewhere worse.
Vel stands beside him, patient as death, until finally, an hour later, he takes a step forward.
I watch from across the courtyard and think about all the times I’ve seen Vel do that.
Wait and outlast. Wear down resistance through sheer, stubborn presence.
She should be commanding armies. Instead, she’s coaxing a traumatized male through a doorway, using the same patience she once used to break through enemy soldiers.
Some can’t move at all. Those ones we carry inside. Caelum among them.
By the time night falls, everyone is indoors.
I make one last circuit of the Dell, checking the wards I’ve placed and speaking to the fae Therin selected for guard duty, then enter the lodge. Cowen’s head stares down at me from the wall, but the rest of the trophies have been removed. Probably Vel’s doing.
The main hall is full of fae. Some are eating. Others are just sitting, staring at the walls or floors, or their hands.
I find Therin near the back, sword across his knees, watching the dark courtyard through a window. He shifts to make room for me. “Sit down before you fall down.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re running on nothing and we both know it. Sit.”
I sit.
“What do you think?”
“About what?” His eyes don’t leave the window.
“Our chances.”
He’s quiet for a moment. “Yesterday, we were in cages. Today we’re not.”
“It’s not enough.”
“No, but it’s a start.” He glances at me. “You got us out. No one else has managed that.”
“Getting out was the easy part.”
“Easy?” He snorts. “You call that easy?”
“Easier than what comes next.”
“Vel thinks we should move soon. Before the humans figure out what happened.”
“She’s right.”
“Do you have somewhere in mind?”
“Not yet.”
“That’s not reassuring, Cairn.”
“If you wanted reassuring, you’re speaking to the wrong person. I’ll figure it out.”
“Always the optimist.”
“Someone has to be.”
He laughs, a short, rough surprised bark. “Never thought I’d hear you call yourself an optimist.”
“Times change.”
“That they do.” He’s quiet for a moment. “Get some sleep. I’ll wake you if I need you.”
“I’ve been out of the cage for a week. I’m more rested than you are.”
“And you’ll still rest, because we’re going to need that mind of yours sharp and focused for what’s coming.”
He’s not wrong about that. I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes, my thoughts moving to Alleria.
She has access to me now, and I don’t know how to cut her off without severing the useful parts too. But that’s tomorrow’s problem.
Tonight, I’m too tired to care.