Chapter 38 #3
“Cairn.” Her voice is breathy. “Ohhh, what … I can’t—” She whimpers again, her thighs clamping around my head. Her hand fists into my hair as she writhes and shudders against my mouth.
I ride her through it, my tongue stoking the flames higher and higher until she cries out, and her grip on my hair loosens slowly as she floats back down.
When I lift my head, she’s staring at me, flushed and dazed.
Her hand slides out of my hair, fingertips grazing the tips of my ears, and I jerk backward.
Are they sensitive? They’re so strange compared with ours. What happens if I touch them?
I shove to my feet. “Get on your knees on the bed.”
She slides off the edge and turns, climbing onto the mattress and kneeling in the center, facing me. I take a breath, then stretch out on my back beside her.
“Come here.”
She frowns slightly, then moves toward me, stopping when her knees touch my side.
“No. Come here. Like you were in the tub.” I guide her to straddle my stomach.
That’s it. Just like that. Don’t move. Let me.
I force the voice away. This isn’t then. This isn’t her.
“Put your hands on my chest.”
She does, resting her palms flat against my skin, fingers splayed.
Such a good pet. Lie still.
“Move them. Explore me. Do all the things you thought about when you saw me in the stream.”
Her throat moves as she swallows, and for a moment I think she might refuse, but then her hands start sliding over me. One reaches for my shoulder, following the curve of muscle down to my arm. The other traces along my ribs.
You’re so warm. So solid.
Hands roaming wherever they wanted. Taking whatever they wanted.
But these hands pause, as though she can hear what I’m thinking. She’s looking at my face, a small furrow between her brows, teeth worrying at her bottom lip.
“Keep going.”
Her eyes search mine for a moment longer. Then she takes a breath, as though she’s about to speak, shakes her head slightly, and leans forward.
Her weight shifts as she leans forward, and the wet heat of her pressed against me snaps my attention firmly back to the present. She’s slick. Aroused. From my mouth on her, from this … from straddling me and touching me …
Having me at her mercy.
“Move your hips.”
“What?” Confusion flickers across her face. “What do you mean?”
“Lift up a little.”
When she rises on her knees, I reach down to adjust my erection, then pull her back down. Her eyes round when she feels me slide along her wetness.
“Now move your hips.”
“Like … like this?” A tentative rock of her hips drags her along my dick, and the friction—slick, and hot, and perfect—makes my teeth clench.
“Yes.”
Her cheeks flush darker, but she does it again. It takes a moment or two for her to find a rhythm, her movements uncertain at first, then growing bolder as she discovers what feels good.
Don’t move. Don’t you dare move.
Hips grinding down on me. Using my body for friction while I lay still and stare at the ceiling.
But I’m not staring at the ceiling. I’m watching her face—the way her lips part, the way her eyes lose focus, the way her breath comes faster. She’s chasing her own pleasure, and something about that heats my blood in ways I haven’t felt in a long time.
She’s using my body for her pleasure, the way they used to. Except …
Except I told her to. And I want to watch her.
“Does that feel good?”
She nods, biting her lip.
“Say it.”
“It … it feels good.” The words come out breathless and shaky. “It feels … I don’t know …”
Tell me you want me. Tell me you need me.
“Do you want more?”
“Yes.” There’s no hesitation now. Her hips rock harder, grinding against me with a desperation that makes heat pool low in my stomach.
“Ask for it.”
“I—please.” Her rhythm falters. “I want—”
The pink in her cheeks turns red, spreading down her throat.
“What do you want?”
Say it. Beg for it. A woman’s voice, sharp with impatience. Tell me how much you need it.
But her voice isn’t sharp. It’s trembling and uncertain. She wants something she doesn’t quite know how to ask for.
“I want …” She swallows, then meets my eyes. “I want you inside me ... please?”
The words hit somewhere deeper. She asked. She said please. She didn’t demand.
And fuck. I want to give it to her. I want to flip her over and bury myself into her until neither of us can think.
“Not yet.”
“But I—”
I slide my hand between her thighs, and the sound she makes when my fingers find her sends a jolt of heat straight through me.
Make her ready for me. I want her dripping when I take her.
A man’s voice. A woman’s bed. My hand between her thighs while he watched her face and told me what to do.
One finger pushes inside her, and she tenses.
“Cairn?”
“Breathe. Relax.”
Curl your fingers. Find the spot. Make her scream.
She takes a shaky breath. I add a second finger, curling them, as I thrust them in and out.
“Oh!” Her hands flatten against my chest.
She rocks against my hand, chasing the sensation, and the sounds she makes …
Faster. I said faster.
I keep my pace slow. This isn’t then. This is now.
“Ohhh. More!” Her voice comes out ragged. “I need—please!”
I add a third finger, and she gasps, discomfort flickering across her face before pleasure takes over.
Good. Now make her come. I want to watch.
But there’s no one watching me now. No one using me as a tool because they couldn’t do it themselves.
“That’s it, Moirthalen. Take it for me.”
She’s stretched around three fingers now, riding my hand, and the sounds spilling from her mouth aren’t commands or corrections, they’re raw and desperate and real.
“Cairn … I … I’m going to—”
She shatters around my fingers, her body shuddering, her inner walls clenching in pulses. I keep my eyes on her face, noting the way her mouth falls open, her eyes squeeze shut, and the way she looks like she’s falling apart.
When she comes back to herself, her eyes are wet and shining.
“I didn’t know it would be like that,” she whispers.
I withdraw my fingers slowly, and she whimpers at the loss. Bringing them to my lips, I lick them, tasting her pleasure. My erection aches, hard and heavy against my stomach and I want inside her so badly I can barely form thoughts.
I curve one hand over her thigh, up her stomach, until I can cup her breast. My thumb strokes over her nipple, and she shudders against me. My other hand reaches between us, gripping my dick, and I position myself against her entrance.
“Take me. As slow as you need.”
Her tongue comes out to wet her lips, and then she cautiously sinks down.
The first inch of tight heat nearly undoes me. My hands clamp onto her hips, and I have to grit my teeth against the urge to thrust up, to bury myself to the hilt.
All the way. Give me all of it.
Hands on my hips, forcing me deep.
“Take your time.” My voice is tight.
Her eyes fly to mine, surprise filling them, wondering why I’m not pushing. She sinks lower, then stops, panting, as she adjusts to the stretch of me inside her.
“Breathe, Moirthalen.”
She takes a shaky breath and slides down another inch … another … until she’s fully seated, and my entire length is deep inside her. For a moment, neither of us moves. She’s so tight. So hot. And she’s looking down at me with those brown eyes, her lips parted, and her hands braced on my chest.
In that moment, the Nightwild magic flares.
Mine.
I force it away, helped by the way she shifts above me. I feel it everywhere—a slow drag of friction that makes my breath hiss between my teeth.
“You feel—” She doesn’t finish the sentence, but she doesn’t need to because I can see it in her face. The fullness, the stretch, the overwhelming newness of it.
“Move when you’re ready.”
She lifts her hips and sinks back down. Her breath catches, and she does it again.
Faster. Harder.
Nails digging in. Riding me like a tool bought for pleasure.
But her rhythm stays slow and careful. She’s not using me, she’s discovering. And watching her face shift from hesitation to wonder to dawning pleasure makes me harder.
Her hands slide up my chest and over my shoulders, bringing her body closer to mine until she’s almost lying flat on top of me, her breasts brushing against my chest with every rock of her hips. Her fingers slide into my hair, and a small smile tilts her lips up, as though she likes how it feels.
And it’s that … that smile … that breaks something open inside of me.
My hands find her hips, and I thrust up as she slides down.
She gasps. “Cairn!”
I sit up, one arm wrapping around her waist, and flip us. She lands on her back with another gasp, and I’m over her now, still buried inside her, pinning her to the mattress.
I fist my fingers into her hair, and pull her head back so I can bite along her throat. “It’s my turn.”
I pull out of her slowly, and she makes a sound of protest, half whimper, half complaint, that sends heat curling through me.
“Patience, Moirthalen.”
I slide down the bed, and curl my fingers around one ankle. She lifts up on one elbow to look down at me, as I lift her foot and press my mouth to it. The skin is soft there, delicate. My tongue strokes over the arch of her foot and her toes curl.
Kiss her feet. Work your way up. Make her want it before you give it to her.
Alleria shivers when my mouth finds the curve of her calf, falling back against the bed with a soft sigh, and I smile, my lips moving up to her knee, sucking gently at the sensitive skin there, then moving on.
When I reach her inner thigh, I bite down, and she cries out.
I suck at the mark until I know it’ll bruise.
Mine. The word pulses through me.
I work my way back down her leg, and start again on the other. Ankle. Calf. Knee. Thigh. Another bite, another mark blooming on her skin.
“Cairn, please.”
I don’t deny her this time, moving to settle between her thighs, and pushing into her.
It’s different this time. I control the angle now, the pace, the depth.
Harder. I said harder.
But I keep my pace slow, rolling my hips, grinding against her with each stroke, and finding the angle that makes her nails rake down my back.
“There!” She gasps. “Ohhh, right there. Please, don’t stop.”
I don’t stop. I give her that angle, over and over, watching her climb toward release. Her nails break through my skin, her legs wrap around my waist, and her moans fill the room as she shatters around me.
I grit my teeth and keep moving, fucking her through it, drawing it out until she’s shaking and gasping, and pushing at my chest.
“Too much … I can’t—”
I slow, but I don’t stop, letting her come back down while I’m still inside her, still moving in slow, shallow strokes.
“Yes, you can.”
“No … no, I can’t.”
“Again, Moirthalen.”
Her eyes widen. “No, really. I can’t.”
I shift my angle, and watch as pleasure builds once more, as her protest dies in her throat and turns into a moan.
“Yes, you can.” I thrust deeper. “And you will.”
And she does, harder this time, her body arching up, sobs spilling from her lips. I follow her over, burying myself deep, my forehead pressed against her shoulder while I break apart.
And for a long moment, the only sound in the room is my breathing, sawing in and out of my lungs in painful gulps.
Her chest heaves against mine, her nails still digging into my back, and her legs still wrapped around my hips … and I can’t bring myself to pull away.
Get off me. I’m finished with you.
I roll to the side, taking her with me, slipping out of her as we move. We end up face to face, her leg still hooked over my hip.
The fire has burned low, casting the room in shadows. She lies quietly, eyes half-lidded as she catches her breath, while I tell myself I should move, stand up, do something to put space between us again.
Instead, I lie there and don’t stop her when her hand lifts and her fingers trace one of the marks on my chest.
“These marks. You said they show rank and victories.”
“Yes.”
“How many?”
“Enough.”
She’s quiet for a moment, fingers still tracing over them.
“When you made me touch them … in the tub. You went somewhere. Just for a second.”
“Leave it.”
“Cairn—”
“I said leave it.”
Her hand stills against my chest. She’s watching my face, eyes still slightly cloudy from desire, but there’s a determined set to her features that I’m learning to recognize.
“When I put my hands in your hair,” she says slowly, “that magic … that thing you won’t explain woke up again. You froze.”
I don’t answer.
“And when you were undressing … before you got in the tub. You froze then too.”
“I told you to leave it.”
“You made me tell you things. Things I didn’t want to say.”
“That was a different bargain. This one doesn’t require talking.”
“No, but I can’t ignore what I felt coming from you.”
The silence stretches between us. Her eyes don’t leave my face.
I could roll her over. Distract her with my hands and mouth and make her forget she ever asked.
I shift onto my back, and stare up at the ceiling.
They’d walk the cages, and pick which one they wanted. She startles slightly at my voice in her head. Then the guards would clip a leash to our collars and hand us over.
I don’t know why I’m telling her.
“When you froze, was it because I was reminding you of them?”
One of them liked to grab my hair, while she used my mouth.
Her hand finds my chest again, resting over my heart.
“Then why … why make me do it?”
I turn my head and meet her eyes, but I don’t answer her. I can’t. Instead, I move until she’s beneath me and push inside her again. Her arms come up around my neck, her lips finding my jaw and pressing kisses along it.
I move inside her slowly, not chasing release, just feeling her around me. The way her body grips me, the soft sounds she makes, and the way her fingers thread through my hair.
And this time, I don’t freeze. I lean into it.
“Luchairn.” It comes out of my mouth before I can stop it.
She blinks up at me. “What?”
“My true name.” I keep moving inside her, slow and deep. “Luchairn Vaedráfn.”
Her eyes search my face. “Why are you telling me this?”
I could give her a hundred reasons, but there’s only one that matters.
“Because I want you to have it.”
I capture her lips with mine in a slow kiss, my tongue sliding along hers, then lift my head.
“I’d very much like you to use it.”
“Luchairn.” She’s moving with me now, her hips rising to meet mine. “Luchairn.”
I kiss her, swallowing my name from her mouth and move faster. She wraps around me, her legs around my waist, arms around my neck.
“Say it when you come.”
I thrust deep. Her back arches.
“Luchairn.” She comes apart with my true name on her lips, and I follow her over.
I came into this thinking I would ruin her.
I didn’t expect her to ruin me back.