Chapter 46 #2
I work the knots with my thumbs, feeling them slowly release under the pressure. Her eyes drift closed, and she sighs. Her shoulders drop another inch.
I rinse the soap away with the pitcher of water, and work more into her hair, then rinse it again. With each pass, she relaxes a little more, until she’s leaning back into my touch, her lips parted.
“Nella won’t talk to me.” The words fall from her lips in a whisper.
“She won’t look at me or eat with me. She doesn’t say anything other than ‘yes, my lady’ and ‘no, my lady.’” Her voice wobbles.
“We’ve known each other since we were children.
I’m closer to her than I am to my sister, and now she looks at me like she doesn’t know me at all. ”
I rinse her hair again.
“She’s scared. I know that. And I don’t know if it’s just being here, or if something happened that she’s not telling me.”
My hands still in her hair.
“I tried to ask her. She said she’s tired, and that being around fae makes her nervous.” A bitter laugh escapes her. “And then she curtsied and walked away.”
“Give her time.”
“How much time?”
I don’t have an answer for that, so I let my hands drop and stand up, using magic to remove the table, bowl and pitcher. After a moment, she turns in the tub to face me. Her hair is slicked back from her face, her skin flushed from the heat.
“I want to make a bargain.”
I lift one eyebrow. “What kind of bargain?”
“I want you to stay. Tonight.” Her voice is steady, but the pulse is jumping at the base of her throat. “In return, I’ll give you … I don’t know. Whatever you want. There must be something.”
Of all the things I thought she would ask, I didn’t expect that. She’s offering to trade something for my company, the same way every noblewoman offered money to the huntmasters for me. Coin for flesh. Transaction dressed as desire.
The mask I’ve worn for centuries slides into place. Her face pales.
“Oh gods. No … no! That’s not—I didn’t mean.” Her fingers curl around the rim of the tub. “I know what they did. I’m not trying to … I would never—”
“Then what are you trying to do?”
“I just want you.” The words spill out, raw and unsteady. “That’s all. I just wanted you to stay. And I thought …” She bites her lip, sucking in a shaky breath. “I thought that … it’s what you did. A bargain … I thought that—” She closes her eyes and shakes her head.
She thinks she has to offer something in return for my company because I’ve given her nothing. Nothing at all for her to believe that the night we spent together meant anything.
She thinks I don’t want her.
I reach into the water and take her hand, pulling her to her feet. She rises, water streaming down her body, but I don’t allow myself to look anywhere but her face.
“Moirthalen.” I wait until she opens her eyes. “You have no need to bargain for that.”
“I … don’t?”
“No.” I lift my other hand and brush a strand of wet hair back from her face. “If you want me to stay, all you have to do is ask.”
I kiss her before she can respond.
She makes a sound against my mouth and then her hands are fisting in my shirt, pulling me closer, and I stop thinking about anything except the taste of her.
Wrapping one arm around her waist, not caring about the fact she’s wet and I’m not, I lift her out of the tub, and spin toward the bed.
When her knees hit the mattress, I drop her onto it and follow her down, one hand braced beside her head, the other tangled in her hair.
“Cairn—”
“Stop talking.” I press my mouth to her throat.
She doesn’t stop talking. “I thought you didn’t want—”
I bite down on the curve of her shoulder, and she gasps, arching up against me.
“Does this feel like I don’t want you?”
She gives a startled laugh, then her hands are reaching for the hem of my shirt.
I let her undress me. Let her drag my shirt over my head. Let her fingers trace the patterns on my skin. When she tugs impatiently at the laces on my pants, I catch her wrists and pin them above her head.
“My pace.”
“Always?”
“Tonight.” I lean down and kiss her again, slower this time. “Let me.”
She stills beneath me, searching my face, then nods.
I release her wrists, stroking my fingers down her arm, and watch goosebumps rise in their wake.
Over the curve of her shoulders.
Along the line of her collarbone.
Down, between her breasts, where her heart beats fast against my palm.
The last time I had her, it started out as a bargain. A transaction with terms and an ending already negotiated. I wanted to ruin her. I wanted to mark her so deeply, she’d never forget a fae had been the one to teach her pleasure.
This isn’t that.
I lower my mouth to her breast, and she arches into me with a soft gasp. Her fingers slide into my hair, tentative at first, then gripping when I nip at her nipple.
“Cairn!”
I don’t answer. I’m far too busy learning things I didn’t take time to notice before.
Things like the way her breath catches when I kiss the underside of her breasts, the small sound she makes when I trace my tongue along her ribs, the shiver that runs through her when I press my lips to the soft skin of her stomach.
She’s all warmth and wanting beneath me, her body rising to meet my mouth, her hands restless in my hair.
I work my way down slowly, tasting every inch of skin, pressing kisses to places I ignored before.
The curve of her hip, the inside of her thigh, the back of her knee, where she squirms and laughs breathlessly.
“That tickles.”
“Noted.”
I press another kiss there, just to feel her squirm again, then move back up her body. She reaches for me, trying to pull me closer, and this time I let her.
Our mouths meet, and she kisses me like she’s been starving for it. Her tongue slides against mine, and her legs wrap around my hips, dragging me against her. The heat of her through my pants makes me groan into her mouth.
“Off!” She tries to tug at the laces again. “Take them off.”
I pull back long enough to strip, and when I settle over her again, skin to skin, she makes a sound that goes straight through me.
“Better?”
“Yes.” Her hands roam down my back. “Much better.”
I could take her now. She’s ready. I can feel it in the heat of her against me. But I don’t want to rush this. Not tonight. So I reach between us and stroke a finger through her wetness. She gasps, jerking against my hand. I find the spot that makes her moan and circle it slowly, watching her face.
“Look at me, Moirthalen.”
Her eyes flutter open, dark and hazy with want.
“Stay with me.”
I slide a finger inside her, then two, curling them to find the place that made her scream last time. Her mouth falls open, breath quickening, but she doesn’t look away.
“That’s it.” I keep my rhythm slow and steady. “Just feel it.”
Her breathing turns ragged. Her hands grip my shoulders, nails biting in. I can feel her climbing, feel the way her body is tightening around my fingers, and I want to watch her fall apart for me.
“Cairn, I need—”
“I know what you need.”
I shift my hand, pressing my thumb against her clit while my fingers work inside her, and she shatters. Her body arches off the bed, a cry spilling from her lips, and I don’t stop. I draw it out, gentling my touch as she shudders through it, until she’s gasping and pushing weakly at my wrist.
I withdraw my fingers carefully and kiss her. She tastes like desire and surrender, and when I finally break the kiss, she’s looking at me with eyes that shine.
“Now,” she whispers. “Please?”
Reaching down, I press myself against her and ease into her slowly.
We both groan at the sensation, and the flutter of her muscles around me nearly undoes me there and then.
I hold still, giving myself a moment to regain control, and let her adjust to my presence.
Her legs wrap around my waist, her hips tilt up, and her hands come up to frame my face.
“Move, please.”
I do. Slow, deep strokes that make her gasp with each one. This isn’t like before, this is something else entirely. Her hips rise to meet mine, finding a rhythm that fits us both. I brace myself on one arm, and use my other hand to tilt her face up, holding her gaze as I move inside her.
“Say my name.”
Her lips curve upward. “Luchairn.”
I kiss her, and move faster. She meets me stroke for stroke, her nails raking down my back, her moans muffled against my lips. When she breaks this time, I follow her over. Pleasure crashes through me in waves, and I bury my face against her throat, my hips jerking as I spend myself inside her.
For one long moment, the room is filled with nothing but our rasping breaths. I’m still inside her, my weight braced on my arms, my breath coming in ragged gasps. Her fingers stroke through my hair, gentle, like we have all the time in the world.
I roll to the side, taking her with me, and we end up tangled together, her head on my chest, one leg hooked over my hip, and we lie there, her fingers tracing idle patterns on my skin.
I’m talking before I even think about it. “I should tell you something.”
Her head lifts, eyes finding mine. “That … sounds ominous.”
“When you bargained a truth for a truth, I … did not tell you everything.” I keep my voice even.
“The blood bond I forced onto you. It was meant to be temporary. A way to see through your eyes while you were inside the Dell. It should have lasted only as long as I needed it, and then faded away.” I look at her.
“It didn’t. It changed, became something else.
Two-way instead of one. Permanent instead of temporary. ”
I run a hand along her arm, fingers finding the scar left by the knife attack.
My eyes narrow and it disappears as my fingertip runs over it.
“I felt it when you were attacked at the palace. Your terror and pain.” My jaw tightens.
“I told myself I was retrieving you because if you could send me your emotions without thought, mages could use you to find me.”
“Is that the truth?”
“It’s what I wanted to believe.”
She’s quiet for a moment. “But it wasn’t the only reason?”
“No.” The word comes out rough. “It wasn’t the only reason.”
Her breasts brush against my chest as she takes a breath. “What were the other reasons?”
I should shut this down. Add it to the list of things I won’t explain. But she’s warm against me, and I’m tired of the walls between us.
“The thread you feel. The one that pulled you toward me on the hill, when I called for Kaelith and the others. That has nothing to do with the blood bond.”
Her brow furrows. “Then … what is it?”
“The Nightwild magic. The same magic that binds the Guard to me. It’s been weaving itself around you, claiming you the way it’s claimed Therin and the rest.”
“What? How? I don’t have magic.”
“I don’t know. It’s never happened before. But the magic doesn’t appear to care about that. It wants you.”
‘What does that mean? For me?”
I shake my head. “I can’t answer that. A human has never been taken by the magic before.
What I can tell you is that if you accept it, then you’ll be tied to me.
To the Guard. Permanently. And … I don’t know what that means for someone who is human.
I don’t know what that might do to you if you accept it. ”
“If I accept it?”
“You don’t have to. You can deny it.”
“What will happen if I do that?”
“The thread will keep pulling for a while, but eventually it will fade away.”
“And if I accept?”
“Then you’re mine.” I almost snarl the words, then check myself. “Mine like the Guard is mine. In a way that can never be broken.” It’s the truth, yet it’s also a lie. She would be mine in ways the Guard could never be.
“I …”
“There’s time. The magic is still weaving around you. You don’t have to make a choice today. But … You’re no longer nothing more than a human who should pay for the sins of your kind. And I …” I shake my head. “You chose to stay.”
Her eyes track over my face, then she nods, her hand resting over my heart. I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her closer.
“You should sleep.” I lighten my voice. “I have it on good authority that the fae training you in the morning has a deadly aim with pebbles.”