Chapter 17
CHAPTER
THAD
I’d swear she said, “Me.”
Maybe I’d read her lips, or maybe it was what I wanted to hear. When I’d told her the truth, horror flickered through her golden eyes—and something inside me let go. Not broke, but gave in. Made me want.
To fight.
To stay.
To be with Charley, a girl I didn’t know but wanted to—more than I’d wanted anything in months.
For the first time since my feet hit Nil dirt, there was something I wanted more than leaving: time.
Time without limits, time to get to know the girl who made me feel alive again.
And in that moment, I hated Nil all over again, because she’d given me something she could snatch away, or worse, keep for herself.
I swallowed, fighting the rush of emotion, then a surge of guilt. I hated that I’d deceived Charley. Maybe not outright lied, but certainly hadn’t told her the full truth from the get-go. It was a total Bart move.
“I’m sorry, Charley.” I felt like a slimeball.
“Did you just say sorry, Charley?” A smile lit her face, like she was happy to not be talking about death anymore. “Like I’ve never heard that one before. What are you sorry for?”
“For not telling you sooner. I didn’t because once you know, you start watching the days, and you never stop, but it’s no excuse. I should have told you this morning.” I scanned her face, trying to figure out where I stood.
For a minute, she looked far away. Then she smiled at me, her eyes warm and clear. “It’s okay,” she said. “I’m kind of glad you didn’t. Hey, still up for that walk?”
Looking at Charley, her chin slightly raised, looking more gorgeous and full of quiet fight than any girl I’d ever met, I grinned. “Not anymore. Rain check?”
She looked taken aback. But more than anything, she looked tired.
I chuckled. “You look beat. I don’t think a long beach walk is what you need right this second. I might have to carry you back.”
She glared at me. “No one asked you to carry me.”
“True. And hey, I’d do it again. But there’s something I want you to see.” Something to counter the ugliness of Nil, something I had a hunch Charley would love.
We cut through the City, then through the trees.
“So I can’t walk down the beach, but I’m strong enough for a woods hike?” Charley asked. Her face was pale, a fact I didn’t miss—or like.
“It’s close. Two minutes, tops, but I could use a snack.” I paused, giving her a chance to take a break. “What about you?”
“Sounds great,” she said, sitting on a black rock. “I’m thinking a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, chips, and a Snickers. And a Sprite.” As she talked, her hand crept to her head.
“How ’bout a pineapple?” I pulled the fruit from my satchel.
“It’s almost a Snickers. Minus the chocolate, the caramel, nuts, and nougat.
” With my knife, I sliced the pineapple in two and cored each half.
After cutting a half-moon slice, I speared the yellow fruit on my knife and offered it to Charley.
“Wow,” she said, plucking the fruit off my blade. “Where’d you get the handy tool? I gutted a poor pineapple with lava rock. It didn’t go so well.”
“The Shack. There’s a stash of knives in there.
Most are wood. They’re stronger than you think, and there’s a few rough metal ones, too, like this one.
Someone before us made them. Our job is to sharpen them and not lose them.
” Thanks again, Bart. Leave it to the biggest tool to take one on Search and come back without it.
I made a mental note to talk to Bart again later, along with Sy. Then I focused on Charley.
The two of us ate quietly, tossing rinds into the woods and licking juice off our fingers.
“Best Snickers I’ve ever had.” Charley smiled. “Thanks.”
I laughed. “Just wait. It gets better.”
We walked in easy silence. Blue sky shone ahead, and when we broke through the trees, an open meadow burst with color: purples, blues, pinks, reds, yellows, and lots of white. Riding the breeze, the colors shifted in gentle waves.
“This is the Flower Field,” I said. “I don’t know what kinds of flowers they are, but—”
“It’s gorgeous,” Charley said simply.
For a minute, we just stood there. As they always did, my eyes drifted to the brightest patch of white.
Not in the field, but high to the right, on the mountain peak.
White covered the summit, like confectionary sugar, full of icy goodness.
My mouth watered; I could almost taste the snow.
I closed my eyes and let myself go, feeling a sick powder rush.
This was my favorite spot on the island, and my most hated.
Then the wind whispered, making me open my eyes and look at Charley.
Her eyes were on the field. The wind played with her hair, pushing it around, making the ends tickle her shoulders. Her head was tilted to one side, and her expression was strange.
“What is it?” I asked.
She looked at me and smiled. “Nothing. Thanks for showing me this.” But when she looked back at the field, the weird expression returned. It bothered me that I couldn’t read it.
“Charley, what’s wrong?”
Charley laughed, a subtle sound that said everything. “It’s funny,” she said, still watching the Field. “Everything’s so beautiful here. Too beautiful. Like it’s not real. And it really isn’t.”
“Oh, it’s real,” I said.
She shook her head. “I’ve never seen such beauty.
The black sand beach, the Crystal Cove. The Flower Field.
Even the red lava field was beautiful in its own freaky way.
But it’s not really real. Because in three hundred fifty-two days, it will all disappear, right?
” Charley turned to me, and her golden eyes were haunted.
The facade was gone. For Charley, Nil’s mask had finally cracked, this time for good.
* * *
That afternoon, I pulled Rives aside and told him about the skull Charley had found.
“Take Miguel, Heesham, and Nat and anyone else you want. Go to Black Bay, try to find it. If you do, try to make an ID. Look for a necklace, a bracelet. Anything.” I handed him a bag of bleached coral. “Then bury it.”
Rives nodded. “Will do, bro.”
As Rives walked away, I thought about the skull. Can we leave? Charley had asked, her golden eyes troubled. Everyone leaves, eventually, I’d said. And it was true. Now, whether you made it out alive or dead, that was a different question, and the answer was up to Nil.
Nil crazy, Li had said.
She was so right. And right now, she was exactly the person I needed to see.