Chapter 25
CHAPTER
THAD
I dripped with sweat from hauling black rock. “I think we’re good,” I told Rives, nodding at the pile. “Let’s clear the loose rock first, then mix paste.”
For the last few hours, we’d been prepping to repair the base of the last A-frame, the one anchoring the left corner of the City ring.
The rear wall had crumbled, and no one could camp there until it was secure.
Now that we had the rocks, we just had to build it back.
Not an easy task, since we weren’t the ones who’d built it in the first place.
Voices carried across the open air, and Charley’s stood out. Part of a group headed to the groves, she was walking past the firepit. Long legs, tight lines, and chin lifted like it was her against the world. Against Nil’s world.
“Thad.” Rives cleared his throat.
I forced myself to look at Rives. “Yeah?”
“Take off, man.” He nodded toward Charley’s group. “We’ll finish later. I told Julio I’d help him with the pits anyway.”
“If you need to go, go.” I resumed methodically stripping away loose rocks. “I’ve got a ton of crap to do. No time for field trips today.”
Rives was quiet, and he didn’t move.
“So are you helping me or Julio?” My voice was unexpectedly harsh.
“You,” Rives answered, dropping beside me. “Let’s get it done.”
We worked in silence. I focused on the rocks, or tried to.
Rives spoke first. “Listen, Thad, if you want to talk—”
“I don’t.”
“Okay, bro,” Rives said. “But if you don’t want to talk to me, then you at least need to talk to you know who.”
Wrong, I thought. Charley was the one person I couldn’t talk to. And that was the problem.
I felt Rives’s eyes on me, waiting, but it was a grating nasal whine that shattered our silence.
“Thad!”
I looked up to see Bart striding toward us.
“Have you seen Charley?” he asked, his eyes sharp.
“Why?” I couldn’t help snapping.
“Does it matter?” Bart asked with a slick smile. In that moment, I could tell he was enjoying this conversation way too much.
“Not really,” I said, shrugging. “I just like knowing where everyone is jobwise. And come to think of it, aren’t you supposed to be harvesting taro right now?”
“We’re going this afternoon,” he answered quickly.
“Really,” I said. “In full sun.” I didn’t take my eyes off Bart.
He nodded. “We thought it’d go faster if we gathered a crew. That’s why I’m looking for Charley.”
“Well, you’re out of luck. She already took off on her job detail. Like most everyone else.”
Bart’s eyes narrowed as my words hit their mark.
Rives spoke up. “Bart, buddy, now would be a good time for you to remember the little heart-to-heart we had the morning after I busted you sleeping on watch. Like I said, no one’s making you stay in the City.
But either you’re in or you’re out. There’s too few of us as it is.
We can’t afford to pull dead weight. You hear? ”
“Are you threatening to kick me out?” Bart looked incredulous.
“No.” Rives shook his head. “But you keep complaining about Search, that no one picks you. I wonder why.”
Bart stared at Rives.
“Bart,” I said, drawing his eyes, “taro.” I pointed toward the fields. “Find a crew or not. I thought Sy and Raj were helping you anyway. For all you know, they’re already in the fields working, waiting on you.”
Bart’s face looked pinched. “You love being Leader, don’t you, Thad? Being big man on the island, telling everyone what to do. Can’t get enough, can you?”
I sighed. “If you want the job, Bart, ask for it. But considering no one will pick you for Search, I wouldn’t count on getting the vote for Leader. And feel free to nominate someone else anytime.”
“If you say so.” Bart grinned. Then he turned away.
“What a tool,” Rives said as Bart sauntered past the firepit.
“Only not so handy,” I said.
“True. But he’s sharp enough to be dangerous,” Rives said. He was still watching Bart.
“Only when he slacks off. He’s more annoying than anything else.” Turning back to the rocks, I had no intention of wasting more mental energy on Bart than I already had.
Bart disappeared, and for me, it was out of sight, out of mind.
With Charley, it was the complete reverse.
The longer she was out of sight, the more I thought about her.
And the more I tried not to think about her, the more she occupied my every thought.
It was only when she returned from the groves—looking exhausted but uninjured—that I relaxed.
Night had already fallen. Along with Rives and Talla, I helped Charley’s group unload packed satchels in the dark, filling baskets and shelves with fruits and nuts.
They also brought back a chicken, a fresh food find.
Eggs were a welcome change from fish any morning.
So was Rives’s chatter, which filled the awkward gaps in the polite small talk between me and Charley.
While Charley talked to Jillian, I slipped away.
I was checking the chicken pen for gaps when Talla strode up.
“Thad, who’s got Shack watch tonight?”
I’d forgotten to set it up. “Me,” I answered.
Talla crossed her arms. “You took it two nights ago. Why do you have watch again?”
“Because I can’t sleep.” I coughed up this honest answer before I thought of a better one; it was the same reason I’d taken watch the night Rory died.
When I wasn’t reliving the boar attack, I was thinking of Charley, knowing she was a few A-frames away, wondering if she was lonely or, worse, scared. My head was all over the place.
Talla gave me a long look, then nodded. “Okay. I’ll relieve you at dawn.”
True to her word, as the stars faded and pink streaks split the air, Talla appeared at the Shack.
“Anything?” she asked.
“Nothing,” I said, stretching. “Not a peep, not a roar. And no visitors.”
“I don’t know if that’s good or bad,” Talla said. “But you’re done. Get some sleep.”
Knowing I’d just lie there and think, I opted for exercise instead.
I hit the beach, ran a series of hard interval sprints, and was bracing to go again when—like my thoughts made her real—Charley stepped onto the sand.
Wearing Kevin’s shorts and a simple chest wrap, she wore her hair long and loose; it blew around her shoulders, like the first day I’d met her.
I wanted to go to her, to spill my guts.
But I didn’t know what might come out if I opened my mouth.
Nil and Charley, both in my head, making it spin so fast I couldn’t separate my thoughts from my fears.
So I ran. Away from Charley … going for speed … going for pain. Pain and more pain, because maybe if I hurt enough, Nil would let me sleep. And not feel.
Mental pictures crashed in with the waves. Charley wearing Kevin’s clothes; Charley’s hair falling though my fingers; Charley’s hip against mine; Charley’s lips inches away; Charley’s hand covered with blood; Charley with Rives by the fire; Charley’s name on the Wall.
It’s too late, Nil sang over the surf.
My legs screamed for mercy, and my chest ached. A deeper ache than the need for air, and in that moment, I knew Nil was right. It was too late.
But I still didn’t know what to do.