Chapter 33
CHAPTER
THAD
“It’s Li,” Natalie whispered. “She didn’t make it.”
“She made me a lei once,” Jason said to no one in particular.
Charley’s face was pale, but she said nothing.
I was the only one not staring at Li.
“Okay,” I said, desperate to defuse the very bad karma of finding a body the first day of Search.
“Let’s close our eyes and bow our heads.
” For the first time, I wished Nat had chosen Johan as Spotter instead of Jason.
Johan, with his rich words and humble prayers that flowed like water.
But without Johan, Nat was stuck with me.
We joined hands in a tight circle. Bowing my head, I spoke quietly.
“Heavenly Father, you know our needs before we do, and here on Nil we have many. Today we pray for Li. We ask that her soul rest in peace. And for her family back home, we ask You to give them peace. Be with Li, and be with us all, her family here in Nil. In Your name we pray, Amen.”
Whispers of “Amen” echoed around me.
“Okay,” I said, letting go of Jason’s hand, then Charley’s. “Now let’s bury her.”
“How?” Jason frowned. “This rock is tougher than asphalt.”
I looked at him. “I never said we’d dig.”
Ten minutes later, I carefully laid Li’s body on the bottom of a wide hollow in the rock, fully dressed.
As valuable as her clothes were, I was not about to pull a Sy and strip a dead body.
We covered her with rocks, making a black rock tomb.
As the others stepped back, I pulled out my bag of bleached coral and crafted a cross, white on black.
“Rest in peace, Li,” I whispered.
Natalie made a strangled choking sound.
“Nat?” I asked, standing. “You okay?”
“I just remembered something,” she whispered, her eyes fixed on Li’s coral cross.
“That creepy song Ramia sang on her last Nil Night.” Dropping into Ramia’s odd cadence, Nat said, “To Nil we come, from Nil some go, and some like me will stay. The clock winds down, our time runs out, and Nil will have her way.” Natalie lifted her haunted eyes to mine.
“If you change ‘me’ to ‘Li,’ it fits.” She started to shake. “Why did I remember that now?”
Because Ramia knew, I thought. Somehow Ramia always knew.
NO. My brain balked at the thought. Her predictions mean nothing, I told myself. Absolutely nothing.
Consumed by my mental sparring, I froze, and Charley stepped up before I could. She clasped Natalie’s hands and held them steady. “Natalie, it’s okay. You’ve got plenty of time. Weeks. Plus”—Charley’s voice was confident—“you’ve got us.”
Natalie held Charley’s hands so tight that Natalie’s knuckles turned white. Bloodless, like Li’s face.
And some like me will stay.
“Natalie, look at me.” Charley’s voice turned fierce, strong enough to pull me back, too. “You’re not Li. You’re Na-ta-lie,” Charley’s drawl dragged out Nat’s name, “and we’re going to get you home. So please, don’t fall apart on us, okay?”
Natalie nodded. Taking a deep breath, she faced Li’s rock tomb. “Good-bye, friend,” she said. “Thank you for the beauty you brought into my life. I’ll never forget you. Rest in peace.”
“Where to?” I asked Natalie.
“Anywhere,” she said. Despite the sun, her teeth chattered.
I thought fast. “I know just the place.” I hitched up my pack, keeping my hands away from Charley, not wanting to touch her since I’d just touched death. “To the tubes.”
“To the tubes,” Jason echoed.
We walked in silence. The funeral hangover threatened to make me sick.
Another death on my watch.
It was a relief to spot the tubes. South of the Arches, a web of tunnels carved from old lava flows sat open to the sky. Glistening with fresh water and heated daily by the sun, the tubes were perpetually warm. Not as hot as the showers Charley dreamed of, but a marked change from the icy Cove.
Even better, South Beach lay on the other side.
A wide black beach stretching down the western coast to the southern tip, someone before my time had slapped it with the generic name, and it stuck.
Seeing the setup for tonight, I relaxed.
Not totally, but enough. Enough to stay sane one more day, enough to hold the possibility of sleep.
Camping near the sea beat crashing deep in the island any day. One less side to guard.
I turned to Charley. “You’ll like this. It’s Nil’s version of a warm bath.”
For the next few hours, the four of us lounged in the tubes, elbows out, faces to the sun, chilling like we were in a hot tub at a ski chalet—only this was Nil. And not for one minute did I forget. Judging by Nat’s face, neither did she. Death hung with us like a fifth wheel.
When the air cooled, we foraged. I fished, Charley harvested redfruit, and Jason and Nat gathered firewood.
Charley might have been green, but our team purred with island efficiency, enough to dispel the aura of death.
Action was always the best Nil antidote, a fact I’d forgotten in the wake of Li’s burial.
While Natalie cleaned the fish, I showed Charley how to make fire using my bow.
Rub and blow, coaxing the wisp of smoke to burst into flame.
The brittle tinder caught within minutes.
The blaze was not just for warmth; it was for protection. Animals disliked fire.
As the fire burned and the sun set, I took first watch.
Natalie was already asleep, or lost in thought with her eyes closed.
Jason was sacked out beside Nat. Beside the fire, Charley lay in my arms, her back resting against my chest, her face tilted to the clear Nil sky.
Even with the crappy day we’d had, I felt guiltily content.
I’d buried a girl today, and now I held the perfect one in my arms. It was the yin and yang of Nil, and it was totally twisted.
Charley had been quiet for so long that my gut said she wasn’t thinking about the stars.
“Thinking about Li?” I asked softly.
“I can’t believe she didn’t make it.” Charley’s voice was subdued. “One thing’s for sure, I’ll never look at black rock the same. I hiked all over piles of that stuff my first day here, and for all I know, I was walking over dead bodies. Like a cemetery.” She shuddered.
“Well, I’ve never buried anyone in black rock before, if it makes you feel better.”
“It doesn’t. Because you and I are just the latest drop-ins. Look at the Wall. It’s covered in names. There’re hundreds on there.”
“I know,” I said.
Charley’s face was still tilted toward the stars. “Do you think we’re here for a reason? I mean, on Nil?”
“I don’t know. But”—I kissed her head—“right now there’s no place I’d rather be.”
“Same.” She smiled, then looked straight at me. “Who’s Ramia?”
“Ramia?” I replied, startled.
“Natalie mentioned Ramia, and that name sounds familiar. Who is she?”
“A girl. She left a few weeks after I arrived.”
Charley’s eyes stayed on mine. “She didn’t make it, did she?”
“No.”
“And she’s the one who carved that creepy bone bracelet I heard about?”
“Yup.”
It’s bone, Ramia had said, her fingers stroking the cuff in an eerie caress.
Bone of an animal that never left. Bone of an animal I chose not to eat.
Soon it will be bone on bone. She’d paused, her eyes on the cuff.
I’m not leaving, Thad. My journey ends here.
Then she’d looked at me, her eyes shrewd, an odd smile pulling at her lips.
As does yours. You’ll Lead, but you’ll never leave.
Because you do not see. The blind leading the blind, she’d cackled. The blind leading the blind!
Then she’d stopped abruptly, her eyes wide.
Or will you? she’d crooned, her eyes traveling my face, searching.
If you want to live, you must give up what you want the most. Open your eyes, Thad.
Will you open your eyes? Will you see? Rocking, rubbing that creepy cuff, she’d just kept repeating open your eyes and mumbling about the blind leading the blind.
You’ll never leave.
I’d never told anyone her prediction for me. Because it doesn’t matter, I told myself. It means nothing.
But her prediction haunted me. And it changed me; it was the moment I’d decided my mid-season break was over and that I’d do all I could to get the hell off Nil, no matter what some crazy chick predicted. I was leaving.
Until Charley.
Now Nil would have to pry me away.
“Speaking of creepy,” Charley was saying, “did you see Li’s lei?
It was made of black rock, like she knew she wouldn’t make it.
” Now Charley turned, regarding me thoughtfully.
“You used to wear a necklace with a single black rock. But now you wear a shell.” She pointed to my neck, where a smooth shell as gold as Charley’s eyes hung from a piece of twine.
“You’re very observant, Ms. Crowder.” For months, I’d worn black rock, my way of mocking Nil. Black rock, dead rock, spit from Nil’s gut. But the day I’d met Charley, I’d found this shell and ditched the black.
I’d actually found two.
I reached into my pocket and withdrew a necklace. Same twine, different shell. Her shell was gold, too, but flecked with blue, like the ocean was buffering the darkness of Nil. I’d been waiting for the right time to give it to her; maybe that time was now. She could use the buffer.
“I found this shell when I found mine,” I said. “In case you wanted some island bling.”
“It’s beautiful.” Smiling, Charley tied it around her neck before I could help. “Thanks,” she said, one hand touching the shell at her neck. “I love it.”
I love you.
The rush of emotion hit me so hard, the words stuck in my throat.
Unable to speak, barely able to breathe, I twisted my fingers in her hair and pulled her lips to mine. Then, breaking away, I held her tight. No words, no expectations, just Charley in my arms and my eyes wide open.