Chapter 20 Olivia #2
“I just... I don’t know what to do.”
“Yes, you do.” His hands settle on my hips, guiding me into a slow roll that makes us both groan. “Your body knows exactly what it wants. Stop thinking and just move.”
I plant my hands on his chest for balance, feeling the rapid beat of his heart under my palm. The scars are rough and unforgiving, raised lines and puckered marks that illustrate a violent history. I trace one that curves around his ribs, and he shudders.
“The way you touch me…” he breathes, watching me with those mismatched eyes. “Like you’re trying to read my past through my skin.”
“Maybe I am.”
“You want to know all my secrets?” His hands guide my hips into a rhythm that has me biting my lip to keep from crying out. “Then ride me properly and I’ll tell you anything you want.”
I start to move, tentatively at first, finding the angle that makes sparks shoot up my spine. Stefan’s hands are everywhere—my thighs, my waist, my breasts—but his eyes never leave my face.
“That’s it,” he encourages. “God, look at you. The way your hair falls over your shoulder when you tilt your head back like that. Like dark silk I want to wrap around my fist.”
His words make me bold. I increase my pace, rolling my hips in a way that makes his jaw clench.
“Fuck, Olivia.” His fingers dig into my hips hard enough to bruise. “The way you bite your bottom lip when something feels good—it drives me insane. I think about that lip when I’m supposed to be running numbers. In board meetings. When I’m trying to sleep.”
“Stefan—”
“No, let me say this.” He sits up suddenly, wrapping an arm around my waist to keep us connected.
The new position has him hitting a spot inside me that makes me see stars.
“The little crease you get between your eyebrows when you’re concentrating.
You tap your ring finger against your thumb when you’re nervous, did you know that?
You’re doing it right now against my chest.”
I look down and realize he’s right. I hadn’t even noticed.
“How do you know all that?”
“Because I memorize everything about you.” He rocks up into me, and I have to grab his shoulders to stay upright. “I can’t get enough. I’m fucking insatiable, Olivia.”
“You’ve been watching me that closely?”
“I can’t stop watching you.” His mouth finds my throat and clamps down. “Your breath catches right before you come and you make this delicious little whimper when I hit just the right spot—yes, that one. Christ, that sound.”
His thumb finds my clit, circling in time with our movements, and I’m suddenly right on the edge again.
“Your thighs tremble when you’re close,” he continues, his voice rough with his own approaching climax. “Your nails dig into my shoulders. You moan my name and it’s—”
“Stefan, I’m—”
“I know, baby. I can feel you clenching around me. So tight, so perfect.”
“Stefan, I’m almost—”
“My perfect girl. Come for me, Olivia. Let me watch you fall apart on top of me.”
And then the world dissolves into beautiful, sparkling snowflakes as I come so hard my vision goes haywire.
I collapse against Stefan’s chest, my body still trembling with aftershocks. His arms wrap around me, holding me close as we both struggle to catch our breath. The yacht rocks gently beneath us, and somewhere above deck, I can hear the distant cry of seabirds.
This is when it hits me—the full weight of what we’ve just done, what we keep doing to each other. The physical pleasure fades and something uglier takes its place. My throat tightens.
“Hey, hey,” Stefan murmurs, feeling the shift in my body. “What’s wrong?”
Everything. Nothing. The fact that I’m falling in love with a man who cannot ever love me back.
The fact that I’m carrying his child while his maybe-dead mother plays mind games and his empire crumbles around us.
The fact that, despite all of it—the lies, the violence, the impossibility of us—I can’t imagine my life without him anymore.
The tears come before I can stop them, hot and sudden against his chest.
“Olivia?” Real alarm creeps into his voice now. He tries to pull back to look at my face, but I burrow deeper into his neck, hiding.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re crying.” His hands frame my face. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”
I shake my head, but the tears keep coming, hot and unstoppable. “No, you didn’t... I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m—”
“Talk to me.” His thumbs wipe at my cheeks, but it’s useless. The tears just keep flowing. “Please. Tell me what’s happening.”
“I’ve never...” I take a shuddering breath, trying to find words for this feeling that’s too big for my body. “I’ve never felt this way before.”
“What way?”
“Like I’m drowning and flying at the same time. My skin can’t contain what I feel for you.” I press my palms against my eyes, embarrassed by the admission. “God, I sound insane.”
“You don’t.” He gently pulls my hands away from my face, forcing me to look at him. “Keep going.”
“I’m scared, okay? I’m fucking terrified.” The words pour out now, unstoppable as the tears. “Because this thing between us... it’s too much. It’s too intense. I feel like it’s going to destroy me.”
“Olivia—”
“No, let me finish.” I need to get this out before I lose my nerve.
“I’ve built my whole life on control. On keeping everything neat and organized and safe.
But with you, there’s no control. There’s just this.
.. this wildfire that consumes everything in its path.
And I want it—God help me, I want to burn—but I’m so scared of what’ll be left when the fire dies out. ”
Stefan shifts, pulling me against his chest. His heartbeat thunders against my ear, faster than I expected. When he speaks, his voice is soft and sad. “You think you’re the only one terrified here?”
I pull back to look at him. His eyes are bright, almost fevered in the moonlight streaming through the cabin window.
“You walked into my life and demolished everything I thought I knew about myself,” he continues. “Every wall, every defense, every fucking rule I lived by—gone. You want to talk about destruction? You’ve already destroyed me, Olivia. Completely.”
“That’s not—”
“But here’s the difference.” His hand cups my jaw, thumb stroking my cheekbone. “I’m not afraid of the ashes. Because whatever gets rebuilt from them will be better. Stronger. Real.”
“How can you know that?”
“I don’t. But I know this.” He leans down, pressing his forehead to mine, and swears, “I will never let anything hurt you. Not my mother, not my enemies, not even me. And definitely not this thing between us.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“Watch me.” His grip tightens slightly. “I promise you, Olivia Aster, that I will guard you with my life. From everything. Including myself if necessary.”