Chapter 35
My Kind of Idiot
Ryder
The tension in my shoulders eased. Tessa was fine. The place was fine.
And me?
I was better than fine. A minute ago, I'd been ready to barge into the back. Sure, I would've looked like a lunatic, but hey, I'd rather look crazy today than kick myself tomorrow if something bad happened because I didn't check.
Turns out, I didn't need to. Like a knight in a shining dunce cap, I'd been reading it all wrong.
There was no danger – just an annoying boss who'd probably been riding her all day.
Yesterday, when he'd been waving that spatula and ranting about no loot in the vents, I'd figured he was a regular coworker, not her boss.
Now I knew better.
No wonder she was tense.
What she needed was something to make her laugh.
Fortunately, I knew just the thing. "So, about that special order…"
Her tone grew wary. "Yeah?"
"What do you have with raisins?"
She hesitated. "Raisins?"
I held up a finger. "Make that extra raisins."
Color rose to her cheeks. "Wait a minute…are these for your friend?"
I grinned. "Well, they're not for me."
"But he hates raisins. He said so the other morning."
"No. What he said was, 'No raisins.'"
And she'd gotten it right, too. When I'd peeked into that pastry box, I hadn't spotted a single raisin. Like an epic prankster, she'd gone hog wild with cranberries instead.
It was hilarious.
So she must've done it for fun, right?
But here and now, she looked mostly perplexed. "But if somebody says 'no raisins,' they obviously hate them."
"Or," I countered, "they're saving them for later."
"But that doesn't make any sense."
"Sure it does," I said. "Like eating vegetables before dessert."
"But that's not even close to the same thing."
I grinned. "I know."
"So why are you smiling?"
Mostly, I was smiling because she was adorable, trying to talk me out of the same prank she'd pulled on Griff just the other day.
I replied, "Because it's funny."
She looked heavenward. "You know what? I don't know why I'm arguing. If you want to give him a bunch of raisins, it's not up to me to stop you."
"Exactly." I leaned sideways to check the pastry case. "So…you got any raisin bagels?"
She gave a little wince. "Bagels?"
"You know…those round things you pop in a toaster."
"I know what a bagel is." She bit her lip. "I just mean…the other day, he didn't even order bagels."
"I know." I gave her a significant look. "But he got them, anyway, didn't he?"
She froze. "Oh, God. You looked in the box, didn't you?"
I laughed. "What, you thought I wouldn't?"
"I don't know what I thought. I was an idiot, okay?"
If so, she was my kind of idiot, because I'd been laughing about it ever since. It had been a long time since I'd met anyone more devious than me. And yeah, I kind of liked it.
Before I could reply, she added, "But it doesn't matter. We're out of the raisin ones, anyway."
"You can't let that stop you. It didn't stop you the first time, did it?"
"Yeah, well…that was a moment of weakness." She made a decent show of looking contrite. "And I really am sorry."
I waved it away. "Don't be."
"That's easy for you to say. You're not the one who had to eat them."
"How do you know?" I asked. "I already admitted to opening the box."
"So…did you? Eat some, I mean?"
I laughed. "Hell no. That's Griff's problem, not mine."
She gave me an exasperated look. "See? So you admit it's a problem."
"Not my problem," I teased.
With an embarrassed groan, she said, "And then I took that tip." She squeezed her eyes shut for a long moment before opening them to say, "I should probably give it back."
"Screw that," I laughed. "It was worth every penny. I should've tipped you double."
"Or nothing," she countered. "I mean…I didn't really deserve it."
"Well, you can't give it back now."
"Why not?"
"Because I wouldn't accept it. Like I said, I would've paid triple."
"Wait…you said double. I heard you."
"Right. Quadruple, like I said."
She stared for several beats before saying, "You know what?"
"What?"
"I have no idea what to say."
"Well…while you're thinking of something, why don't you grab whatever bagels you've got, slather them with something sticky, and dump a bunch of raisins on top."
"Are you serious?"
"Hell, yeah, I'm serious. Make it look intentional."
At this, her lips finally twitched. "But that's terrible."
"I know."
"You say that like it's a good thing."
"Yeah, but you're still smiling."
"I am not," she protested, looking almost ready to laugh.
"But you want to."
"But I shouldn't."
"Sure you should. You're the one who started it." I gave the pastry case another glance. "So, you want me to do it?"
On a laugh, she blurted out, "No. Definitely not."
"Well, somebody's gonna," I said. "I could always call out your boss." The idea was hilarious – making Mister Nametag come out and do some actual work. He'd probably pop a gasket.
But Tessa was obviously missing the joke, because all signs of laughter faded, and something in her eyes went quiet, like the light had been snuffed out.
I sobered, fast. Shit.
What'd I say?