Chapter 86
Right
Tessa
By now, I didn't think twice about walking directly into Ryder's suite. I had my own key card, my own drawer in the bathroom, and Ryder's assurance that I should make myself at home.
It was nice – maybe a little too nice, because I was already getting spoiled. As the door shut behind me, I smiled, catching sight of Ryder on the balcony. He wasn't looking my way, but I could see his profile, staring off to the right.
He wasn't smiling. And when he turned to face me, nothing about that changed.
I felt my own smile falter as our eyes locked across the distance, and his non-smile turned into a frown. Had something happened?
I set my stuff on the side table and moved toward the balcony while he stayed put. And now I felt guilty. Normally, he stopped by the coffee shop on my lunch break, and he was nearly always waiting for me right after work.
Today, he'd been missing on both counts, and I'd just figured he was busy. But I should've checked – at least by sending him a text to make sure everything was okay.
As I joined him on the balcony, I asked, "Hey, is everything alright?"
He studied my face for a long time before asking in an oddly neutral voice, "How was work?"
It wasn't lost on me that he hadn't actually answered my question. In truth, work had totally sucked. I'd accidentally dropped a whole tray of cookies and then set off the smoke alarm when I forgot to set the timer on the replacement batch.
But judging from Ryder's expression, his day had been even worse.
"It was fine," I lied. "But how about you? Did something happen?"
His gaze sharpened. "Why do you ask?"
I searched his face. "I don't know. I guess you seem…a little off?"
"A question."
"Yeah?"
Sounding more curious than accusing, he asked, "Why are you still riding Maisie's bike?"
"Oh." And now, I felt awkward. "Well…the truth is—"
He made a sound suspiciously like a laugh.
I frowned. "Is something funny?"
"No. Go on."
"Okaaaaay…" I took a deep breath and tried again. "The bike you got me, which I totally love, by the way – it's down in the basement because I'm not really sure how to explain it."
"To who?"
"Well…for starters, Maisie. I mean, she gave me the loaner to use, so I'm just thinking she'd wonder where the new one came from."
"Except you and Maisie aren't talking."
"Sure, not at the moment, but the island's a really small place. And I ride by Maisie's shop at least a couple times a week, so I'm just thinking…I should talk to her first, you know?"
"Right."
I stared at him. "So that's why you're upset? Because I'm not riding the bike?"
"Nope. Like I said, the bike's yours. Trash it, crash it, sell it if you want. No strings."
Something about that stung, even though technically, he'd said nothing wrong. My eyebrows furrowed. "Actually, I don't want to do any of those things. And just for the record, I'd never sell it." I tried to joke. "Not unless I needed a kidney."
His jaw flexed. "Right."
It was the second time he'd said that, and for some reason, it felt more unsettling than the first. "Is there something you're not saying?"
"I'm curious. Do you think honesty is situational, or absolute?"
I shook my head. "That sounds like a trick question."
"Where's the trick?" he asked. "It seems pretty basic to me."
"Except it's not," I said. "Nobody's honest all the time. They couldn't be." Technically I'd lied to Ryder barely thirty seconds ago, when I'd told him my day was fine – except now I couldn't admit it without looking ridiculous.
Ryder said, "So it's situational."
"That's not what I meant."
"It's what you said."
"No, I didn't." I sighed. "I just meant that sometimes people bend the truth for perfectly good reasons."
"Bend, huh?"
"Bend, break, whatever."
"Or maybe," he said, "they're just looking for the easy way out."
I felt like I was on the witness stand, and I couldn't imagine why. I was done dancing around it. "Is this still about the bike? Because if you want it back, I totally understand." I didn't actually. I loved that bike. But I'd rather give it back than be grilled about how much I ride it.
He gave me a look. "So you're not lying now?"
"What?"
"If I took it back – which I wouldn't – you're telling me you'd honestly understand?"
I stared. He was right. But he was also wrong, because honesty didn't have to be cruel. "Fine. You're right. I wouldn't. But I'd still rather give it back than be hounded." I crossed my arms. "And that's no lie."
Ryder said it again. "Right."
I was glaring now. "Will you stop saying that?"
He shoved a hand through his hair and turned away, staring off into the distance while I stared at him, wondering at his sudden change.
If this was about the bike, I understood why he'd be frustrated and maybe even miffed. But it's not like I was never planning to ride it. I was just putting it off until I talked to Maisie and returned the loaner.
As my thoughts churned, I studied Ryder's profile, wondering what to do. Should I try to explain?
No. I'd already done that. And besides, I had an awful suspicion this wasn't only about the bike. All day, Ryder had been out of touch. And this was before he'd noticed I was still riding the loaner – unless he'd seen me ride away this morning.
Searching for clues, I asked, "So, why didn't you stop by the coffee shop today? I mean…it's not like you have to. I'm just wondering if something else happened, like maybe you got a call or something that upset you?"
Slowly, he turned to look at me and then paused, as if weighing his next words. Whatever he was about to say, I just knew it wouldn't be good. But all that came out was, "I've gotta go see Griff."
"Oh." The statement shocked me, but not in any way I'd expected. "So…is something wrong with him?"
"Nope."
"What about Maisie?" A twinge of panic rose in my chest. "She wasn't hurt or anything, was she?"
He looked annoyed by the question. "No. Why do you ask?"
"Oh, I don't know. Because you're acting like somebody died?"
He shrugged. "People die every day."
"You know what I mean."
He glanced toward the interior of the suite. "I've gotta go."
Fine. I summoned a smirk and tossed out his new favorite word. "Right."
He didn't even respond. Instead, he moved past me and headed for the door. I called out after him, "Do you want me to leave?"
I braced myself, waiting for the worst – or rather what I thought would be the worst. Turns out, I was wrong, because the worst thing was, he never answered at all.