Chapter 9 Stuff Your Sorries in a Sack
stuff your sorries in a sack
ROXANNE
When I glance across the pen and catch Duke Faraday watching me, something sparks low in my stomach. A flicker I didn’t ask for and definitely don’t want. I don’t fall for men like him anymore.
Not after last time.
It’s probably the sun or the fact that I haven’t eaten much today. Once our animal tour officially ends, I walk a little taller as I head back to the lodge, flip-flops slapping with every step like they’re cheering me on.
Allie and Leo excuse themselves to their rooms to get cleaned up, but vow to bring lunch back to me, before we head to the lodge conference room to sign paperwork and officially get things started.
In other news, I’m covered in hay, goat breath, and at least one questionable substance I can’t quite identify.
I strip out of my clothes and seriously consider throwing them on the evening fire.
I’m so distracted in the shower, I wash my hair twice.
It isn’t even noon and already so much has transpired today, a wisp of anxiety blows through my body thinking about what I might face throughout the summer.
I wrap the waffle bathrobe around me and breathe in the steam wafting around the bathroom. My reflection stares back when I wipe the droplets away from the mirror.
As much as I hate to admit it, Duke Faraday wasn’t wrong about me.
I don’t want to be here, and I’m not taking this assignment seriously.
My stubborn ass refused to prepare for the trip, and I didn’t pack the clothes I needed …
on purpose. Part of me didn’t want to accept that I was really going back to Colorado.
I realize that I need to get my head straight.
This is my last chance to save my career.
The career I love. This is my last chance to be the woman I was before the accident.
The knock at my door causes me to yelp. I’m thankful Allie and Leo are so quick to get here because I’m starving.
“I hope you brought me something good,” I say, opening the door.
Seeing who is waiting in the hallway, I gasp and slam the door. It’s not Allie and Leo, but Duke Faraday, the last person I expected.
“Roxanne?”
What do I do?
“I’m sorry to bother you, ma’am, but I’m hoping I could come in and apologize.”
I tilt my head. He … he wants to apologize? Topper and Rusty must have scolded him if he’s coming to my room with his peacock feathers between his legs. This I have to see. I tuck my still-wet hair behind my ears and pull my robe tighter around my neck.
I open the door.
He takes off his cap and fidgets with it, then rakes his hand through his hair before meeting my gaze.
His cocky smirk? Gone.
His confident posture? Nowhere to be found.
Instead, he’s completely still and staring at me again. Heat coils in my stomach, threatening to betray the indifferent resolve of my exterior, and I suddenly become too aware of the damp robe clinging to my skin.
I swallow hard and turn my nose up.
“What can I do for you, Mr. Faraday?” My voice comes out sharper than I mean it to, but I need to cut through whatever this is.
He clears his throat. “You wouldn’t rather call me Duke?”
No, because that’s personal, it humanizes you and I need you to remain behind this nice little wall I have built between us.
I shake my head.
“May I come in? I can wait if you’d like to get dressed.”
“It’s fine. Come in.” Part of me is anxious to hear him out and part of me … likes how he’s looking at me.
He rotates his cap in his hands before finally tucking it into the back of his jeans.
“Uh, listen, Sunshine…” his voice trails off.
Damn. That voice. Thicker, lower, and rough around the edges. Like he’s dragging his thoughts back from somewhere they aren’t supposed to be.
“Did you come here to stare at me, or do you have something to say?” I say, folding my arms across my chest.
He runs his fingers over his stubbled chin. “I’m trying to … say … something, damnit.”
“Rusty and Topper sent you here, didn’t they?”
“No,” he says, looking past me out the window. “Yes.”
“Well, you’re doing one hell of a job.”
He frowns. “Listen, I’m sorry for my intensity at the lodge before we left for the tour, but I meant what I said and for that I’m not sorry.
I realize you’ve not been here that long, but the people here …
the vets … I can’t stress enough how we’re making a difference.
I hate to think of our chance at funding going away because you don’t even want to be here. ”
Heat, subtle but present, threads beneath my collar as I take a quiet step forward.
“I thought I left Colorado in the rearview mirror a long time ago, and now suddenly I’m thrown into this assignment, and it’s been a lot to take in.
I never thought I’d be back here, and it’s stirred up some painful memories for me.
I’m trying to adjust, but it’s going to take some time. That doesn’t mean I don’t care.”
One of his dark brows arches. “What happened to you?”
“That’s none of your concern.”
He takes a step toward me. “It is my concern when it’s holding you back. You won’t be able to see how special this place is if you’re shut down.”
“You know,” I say, half laughing. “This has got to be the worst apology I’ve ever heard.”
He breathes in and I swear the room shakes.
“I’m … I’m …” he mumbles.
“Such a prideful man. You can’t do it, can you?”
“Fine. Maybe I’m not sorry I said you shouldn’t be runnin’ around the animal pens in flip-flops. I’m not going to apologize for trying to look out for you.”
“Your ‘looking out for me’ sounds a lot like criticism.”
“It would to someone as stubborn as you,” he barks.
Now I’m stepping up on my tiptoes. I’m 5’9” but it feels like Duke is still towering over me.
“Let me assure you, that no matter what I’m wearing, I’m still going to do my job.
I will learn about this place and be as objective as I can.
If Firebird Ranch is as special as you say, then show me instead of being such a jackass! ”
Duke opens his mouth, but I’ll be damned if he’s getting the last word.
His mouth is still moving, but all I can focus on is the flex of his jaw.
Without thinking, I grab him by the nape of his neck and pull him to me.
My mouth crashes into his, and suddenly my body is no longer my own.
My fingers curl in his hair, hips angling forward, heart pounding so loud I’m sure he can hear it.
But what was meant to be a punishment starts to unravel into something that I wasn’t prepared for.
This kiss isn’t a shut down; it’s a match strike.
His body goes still for a second. Then, his hands move, tentative at first, fingertips brushing my waist like he’s checking if this is real. He pulls me in and kisses me back with heat and hunger.
That’s when I realize my mistake.
I release him and search his darkened eyes. His still-wet lips part as he lets out a quick gasp.
“Sometimes you need to stop talking and listen, Mr. Faraday. Now get in or get out of my way.” I head for the door. “Thank you for attempting to apologize.”
I crack the door and wait, hidden behind it, until he finally moves.
“Dinner is, uh, out in what we call the Nook, tonight,” he offers. “Hope to see you there.”
“I’ll do my best.”
He puts his cap back on and even though he leaves, it still feels like electricity is climbing the walls.
I finally get dressed, plop down on the bed and scribble thoughts in my tattered canvas-covered notebook while I wait for Leo and Allie to arrive.
Thirty minutes later there’s a knock at my door.
Relief washes over me as Leo and Allie are there this time holding paper bags from their trip to the grab-and-go part of the kitchen.
“Whoa, what’s going on?” Allie asks. “Your aura … you look like a human sparkler right now.”
I roll my eyes, but this is why I love Allie. She’s mood rings, tarot cards, reflexology and palmistry. As much as I think that’s all hooey, nothing gets past her. Nothing.
We spill out into the warm day and sit at a table on the veranda. Leo pours us all a glass of San Pellegrino as I tell them what just transpired with Duke.
They hang on my every word until Allie breaks the silence. “Okay, so … let’s recap this. He comes up here to apologize, you’re wearing nothing but your bathrobe, looking all hot, wet, and ethereal. You start arguing, and to silence him, you kiss him?”
I pull my knees to my chest. “I have no idea what came over me.”
“Oh please,” Leo scoffs. “Yes, you do. You should sleep with him now, to get it out of your system.”
“That’s what I was thinking,” Allie says, taking a sip of her water. “It’s going to be a long, hot summer if you two try to deny this primal energy between you.”
I suddenly wish I were drinking something stronger than sparkling water. “That is the opposite of what needs to happen. I can’t let anything sway my objectivity with this assignment. I need to judge this place on its merit, not because I have slept with the owner.”
“Objectivity is overrated,” Leo says. “Passion makes for much better copy.”
“You’re so much stronger than I,” Allie says.
“Did you sleep with Topper?” I ask.
Allie furrows her brow. “We’ve only been here two days.”
I purse my lips. “Ahhh, right.”
“Give me at least a week,” she says. She winks at me, which lets me know she’s saying that in jest.
I hope.
“But, back to you … what are you going to do with Cowboy Ken?” Allie asks.
Leo laughs into his glass. “Cowboy Ken?”
“Duke’s new nickname.”
“I’d say that suits him,” Leo says.
“So what are you going to do?” Allie insists.
I close my eyes and exhale. “Nothing. Ignore him until I have to interview him and not let him get to me.”