Chapter 33 Put Your Red Dress On
put your red dress on
ROXANNE
After the Fire Circle, Duke sticks to this new rule about keeping his distance, which would be perfectly fine if it wasn’t for the fact that I completely and utterly miss him. Which is absolute nonsense! How can I miss him? I don’t even know him.
As much as I tried to convince myself of this, I know deep down, it’s not entirely true.
In a short time, I’ve learned that he loves Christopher Cross, and he doesn’t like mushy tomatoes.
I know that his favorite color must be green because he’s always wearing a shade of it.
I curse myself every morning I wake up in his house and agonize over the fact that he’s not there.
Instead of writing and working on my pitch, I tell myself the story is still not complete without his perspective. He still hasn’t signed his interview consent form. I need his story for my pitch, which is the only reason it’s imperative that I speak with him.
The next morning, I spot Duke outside the barn, saddle slung over one shoulder, of course, looking hotter than ever. He’s talking with Topper and Stedman, but as I approach he starts to walk away.
I call to him, but he doesn’t answer so I pick up my pace.
“Duke, do you … do you have a moment?”
“Mornin’, Roxanne.” He tosses me a polite glance but doesn’t stop.
“Good morning, I … listen, it’s so silly that you’re put out of your house. I can—”
“I’m fine with Topper, ma’am.”
“Would you have time later to chat about some questions I have?”
“Packed schedule today.” He taps the brim of his hat and keeps moving toward the paddock.
So that’s how it’s been between us. Friendly, but icy, with Duke mostly looking right through me.
Later that evening, I’m doing my thing where I type out sentences and then delete them when my phone buzzes. It’s my mother. I’m so happy to hear from her since she’s been out of reach for the last few weeks.
The screen flickers for a second, then steadies, and there she is, sitting in what looks like a modest hotel room with bare walls and a ceramic teacup in hand.
Her gray-streaked hair is twisted up like it always is when she’s working in hot climates, and there’s a tired kind of peace in her expression.
“Finally,” I say, leaning back in my desk chair. “I thought you’d been swallowed whole by a diplomatic crisis.”
She lets out a laugh. “You’re not far off. I’ve been on the Sudanese border the last three weeks. No Wi-Fi, no plumbing, and a baby goat tried to eat my satellite phone. What about you, my dear? You look … different.”
I sit up straighter. “Different how?”
She cocks her head, eyes narrowing like she’s searching my face for something. My scar. The soft pink curve of it visible above the neckline of my tank top. She covers her mouth with her hands.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Sweetie, your scar,” she says. “You’re showing it!”
I glance down. “Oh, yes.”
“What prompted you to stop hiding it?”
I’m quiet for a beat as I think on how to tell her. “It’s a long story that involves me almost drowning.”
She sits up straight. “What? … drowning?”
I put my hand up. “I’m fine, thanks to the man who owns the ranch.”
“Is this the same man you’re in love with?”
My eyes widen and my stomach twists. “Mother, I’m not … I’m …”
“Oh, please.” She waves her hand like she’s swatting a fly. “I know that look. That foggy, I-don’t-know-what-day-it-is-because-he-smiled-at-me look. Let me remind you, I hated your last boyfriend. Smile like a politician, heart like a paperclip.”
I smirk despite myself. “What does that mean?”
“It’s a metaphor for a person who folds under pressure and rusts the second they get wet.”
I giggle. “Okay, that’s pretty good.”
“Anyway, I saw how much he hurt you. It was always written on your face. This new man … I can tell he brings you joy, and I don’t even know him. Duke, was it?”
“Yes, Duke Faraday.”
“There!” My mother says, spilling her tea as she points at the screen. “Right there. When you said his name, your entire face lit up. Oh, this is exciting.”
“Mother, what’s in that tea you’re drinking?”
She chuckles and takes a sip. “Why are you holding back?”
“Because he lives here. I live in New York. He’s all pine trees and mountain air, and I’m espresso and deadlines.”
“He can’t drink espresso?”
“I’m trying to be smart.”
“And how’s that working out for you?”
I gulp and look away for a moment.
She softens. “Roxanne, I know what it’s like to survive something and build walls so high no one gets through. When your father left, I swore off all men. But sometimes you don’t need more bricks, you need someone steady enough to walk beside you while the old ones crumble.”
“How do you always know what to say?” I ask.
“That’s my job as the woman who loves you most.”
I rub my eyes. “I messed everything up with him, though.”
She sets her tea down and pulls her wrap around her shoulders. “Tell me about him.”
The corner of my mouth tugs into a smile.
“Well, at first, I thought he was a cocky, showboat of a man, but he … makes me laugh. And … and I love how he fidgets with his tattered ball cap when he’s nervous.
He let me move into his house because the Wi-Fi is better here, and when he noticed I kept falling asleep at the desk, he carried me upstairs and tucked me into the guest bed.
He brings me coffee every morning with a note that has a smiley face or some other kind of drawing on it. ”
“He sounds like a dream.”
“Want to know the most painful fact about him?”
“Let me guess, he’s impossibly handsome?”
Heat rushes into my cheeks at the thought of him.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” she says, shifting in her seat. “Roxanne, this type of man who loves deeply, who’s an expert at both the little and big things, is rare. Don’t let a little thing like geography stop you two.”
I shake my head. “Geography is not a little thing here, but I see your point.”
“So how did you mess this up?”
“Duke said he was falling for me, okay?”
“And what did you say?”
“I panicked. Said something ridiculous about needing to know how he organized his cutlery drawer, and then I just shut down. And now…” I glance out the window like maybe I’ll see him down by the barn, which is ridiculous.
“He’s really giving me space, which I hate, but I hate it because he’s giving me exactly what I wanted.
Now I don’t know how to get him to talk to me. ”
She makes a low, thoughtful hum. “What are you going to do about it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Roxanne,” my mom starts, using her scolding tone.
“I’ve tried, okay. I’ve tried to politely ask if we can talk, but he sidesteps me and avoids me.”
“Maybe you should stop being so polite.”
“Mother, this isn’t a movie. I can’t show up on his doorstep looking all dramatic and beg him to take me back.”
“You can’t?”
“No.”
“Roxanne … When did you start believing that you had to wait for permission to go after what you want?”
My throat tightens. “I do have to wait now, when I’m the one who made Duke feel unwanted.”
She continues, gently, “You used to wear red lipstick to make a coffee run because it made you feel dressed up. You used to take salsa classes alone in Queens. You’ve always had this fire, baby. You’ve just been burying it under logic and fear.”
I blink, hard.
“If you want him,” she says plainly, “go get him.”
I scoff. “You want me to, what? Use my feminine wiles? Put red lipstick on and salsa dance my way back to him?”
“It worked for Elizabeth Taylor.”
I furrow my brow. “Did it?”
“Probably.”
“I don’t want him to think I’m playing games. I—”
“Sweetie, you aren’t playing games and even if you are, who cares? There’s something to the art of flirting, and that’s what you need to do. Show him you want him. Use all the tools in your arsenal, sweetheart.”
“I’m not sure I remember how to flirt with a man anymore.”
“I get it,” she continues. “You opened up, got burned, and now you’re afraid it’ll happen again.
But love doesn’t come with a ten-point safety inspection, Roxanne.
It’s chaos! It’s chemistry, and it wrecks you in the most beautiful way.
You think falling in love in one summer is impossible?
Sweetie, people have started wars over love in less time than that. ”
I can’t help but laugh again. “I guess he did take me shopping for new clothes since I didn’t bother packing anything useful. I do have a red dress that made him blush.”
“And how did you feel when he saw you in it and turned pink?”
A smile spreads across my lips. “Like … a million dollars. It felt good to get him all flustered.”
“Good!” she says. “Oh, I wish I could hug you right now.”
“Me too. I love you so much.”
“I love you too. Now, stop waiting for life to prove it’s safe. Flirt with the man. Pursue him. What’s the worst that happens? The summer ends and you have to part ways? That would be tragic, but at least you lived and loved again, and that’s everything.”
I shrug and settle in as she tells me more about her current adventures. We soon hang up, and I trudge upstairs knowing that I can’t attempt to get Duke’s attention without utilizing the other two pieces of my arsenal: Allie and Leo.