Chapter Eleven Emily
Chapter Eleven
Emily
Maya flopped down on my bed next to me, moving onto her back, the same way I was positioned, staring at the white popcorned ceiling. She nestled her head into one of my fluffy pillows and released a long, deep breath. “What day is it?”
We were still in our scrubs, neither of us apparently having the energy to shower and change even though we’d gotten home from work a half hour ago. I hadn’t even moved from my bed during that time. I’d been sucked into the mattress, and it had no intention of letting me go.
“Friday, I think.”
She laughed. “You think?”
“Yep.” I rolled toward her and used the pillow to prop up my head.
“All day yesterday, I thought it was Wednesday. Until I was chatting with Bettie and I happened to mention that it was Wednesday, and she told me it was Thursday. At least, I’m pretty sure that went down yesterday, and if so, that would make today Friday. I think . . .”
That conversation with Bettie had taken place several hours after I’d had sex with her grandson in the supply room. A move that was pretty reckless on my part, but I had no regrets. I couldn’t get enough of that man.
Which meant if today really was Friday, then I’d spent the last two days aching for him.
Wanting him.
Yearning for him.
But did he feel the same?
Did his thoughts go beyond his needs?
Last night, while I was in bed, I wanted so desperately to look at the spot where Maya was now lying and have Gavin there.
I wanted to smell him in the air. I wanted his fingers to be crawling down my body, stopping between my legs, rather than my own hand.
When I got off, I wanted it to be from his tongue.
And when the shudders finally stilled in my stomach, I wanted to be surrounded by his arms and not the cool emptiness of my room.
What did he do when he got into bed last night? What did he think about?
If he wrapped his fingers around his dick, was it me he saw behind his eyelids?
Or was he already sleeping with someone else?
Ugh, I couldn’t even put my brain there without feeling sick.
“How funny that the eighty-four-year-old can keep the days straight,” Maya said. “Meanwhile, we’re less than half her age, and we’re a hot mess.” She groaned.
“I feel like ‘a hot mess’ is a compliment.” I snorted. “We’re like the front wheel on the med cart. You know, the one that squeaks and rolls sideways instead of forward and back and you have to constantly reroute the cart so you don’t run into doors and people? We’re that.”
Her mouth hung open. “Yes! We’re the wheel. The wheel that needs to be replaced!”
“How about retired.” I adjusted my arm to prop my head up a little higher. “That sounds better than replaced. But yeah . . . that wheel—she’s a tired girl and we’re lots of that.” I paused. “Did that even make sense? Because it did in my head.”
Maya laughed. It was one of those carefree, let-it-all-out kind of laughs. But it didn’t stop—it got louder, and she covered her mouth and tucked her knees up to her chest, and tears started rolling out the sides of her eyes.
Delirious stage.
We were both in it, that was what this was, and her sound was so contagious, I began laughing and couldn’t stop.
I didn’t even know what was so funny. It just felt good to be here, in this place with my best friend, whom I missed so much, and to have moments like this one since they weren’t happening as often anymore.
“Oh my God, I can’t breathe.” Maya held her stomach. “I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time.”
“Same, girl, same.”
“The wheel, I’ll never get over that, and I’ll never look at the med cart the same ever again.” As she faced me, I pushed several of her dark locks out of her eyes. Her giggles eventually died down when she said, “Do you have to work for Dr. Kaplan tonight?”
“Nope.” I smiled, exhaling loudly. “I’m off tonight and I couldn’t be happier about it.”
“Ohhh. What are you going to do?”
I hadn’t given that much thought. The idea of having zero responsibility this evening was what had kept me going through my shift at the rehab center. The only thing on my agenda from now until morning was a very long, very hot shower.
“I don’t know,” I admitted.
“Well, I do.”
I rubbed my lips together to hide my smile. “Yeah? And what’s that?”
“You’re coming to Jordan’s for dinner.” She raised her hand, preventing me from saying anything.
“Do not even fight me on this. The last time I invited you, you didn’t come, so this time you’re coming no matter what, even if I have to carry you there myself.
” She winked. “How long until you’ll be ready?
I need to let Jordan know what time to send his driver. ”
“His driver . . .” I rolled my eyes.
“He won’t let me take the bus or the T. Given that it’s a battle I’d never win, I don’t even try to negotiate.”
I curled my legs in and hugged the long pillow to my chest. “What if I don’t have the energy to get dressed?”
“Girl, I’m putting on yoga pants and a sweatshirt. I know you have enough energy for that.”
“And makeup?” I sighed. “Because I can’t even fathom putting on eyeliner—”
“Chapstick is the only thing I’m putting on. That, and moisturizer once I get out of the shower.”
She was making this far too easy on me.
Regardless, my tank was empty.
“Ugh.” I rolled onto my back. “It still sounds like so much.”
Maya got up, walked around to my side of the bed, and looked down at me. “Please, Em. I want to spend time with you, and I know Jordan does too. Come to his place for me.”
“Damn.” I tucked my hands under my head. “Is that really the card you’re going to play?”
Her brows rose. “Did it work?”
I exhaled. “Of course it worked. You know I could never say no to that.”
“Good.” She playfully slapped my knee. “Now, go get your ass in the shower.”
“What can I get you ladies?” Jordan asked as he walked into the living room, where Maya and I were lounging on his couch.
One of our favorite cuisines was Thai, and Jordan had ordered enough for his entire building.
He’d insisted we eat in the living room, and had covered the oversize ottoman with all the to-go containers.
While I lay across two cushions, I stared at the lone fresh spring roll in the center, the last of the food I’d plated.
But I couldn’t possibly take another bite.
Capacity had been hit several mouthfuls ago when I finished the papaya salad.
“Nothing. I’m so full, I feel like I’m about to burst.” I rubbed my stomach as I spoke. “Thank God these yoga pants don’t have buttons.”
Maya laughed. “Right? Because I’d have to take mine off if they did, or if they didn’t stretch.” She reached for my plate, and I let her have it. “I’m going to take these into the kitchen, and I’ll be right—”
“You’re not taking them anywhere.” Jordan pushed up his glasses and removed the plates from her hands, his green eyes focused solely on his girl. “I’ve got this. You two just relax.” He smiled at her. “How about some more wine?”
Maya cocked her head and blew him a kiss. “I’m good.”
I was relieved the brothers didn’t really look alike. Height, stature, body type—yes. But facial features and hair color were different. It seemed everywhere I went, I was reminded of Gavin. I didn’t want to look at Jordan and see Gavin’s twin—or almost twin.
“Emily, how about you? More wine?”
I shook my head. “I’m beyond good.”
Maya picked up her almost-full glass of wine and said, “Heart you,” as Jordan carried the plates and a few of the to-go containers into the kitchen.
“Heart you,” he echoed.
As I held my wineglass, I was almost too full to take a sip, but the cab—probably a bottle that cost as much as my rent—was so delicious.
“Just so you know, you have the best man ever.” She was less than a couch cushion away, and I turned my head toward her.
“I mean it, you guys are everything together. The way he looks at you. The way he takes care of you. You have something so remarkably special, Maya.”
I wanted my own version of that, which was why it was still so hard to say anything to her about Gavin.
I didn’t even have the man’s number, yet I’d slept with him twice.
Not that I felt bad about it—I certainly didn’t.
And even though I knew how he was, and he’d promised nothing, I wasn’t working my way toward a relationship, and that stung.
It stung so badly, I couldn’t admit it to someone who was in love with Gavin’s brother.
“I don’t know how I got this lucky,” she whispered. “Seriously, Em. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted.”
I slung my arm toward her. “He’s just as lucky, you know. The man may be perfect, but so are you. In every way.”
She put her hand on mine, her expression showing her gratitude. “Now it needs to be your turn.”
“No.” I faced forward. “Stop.”
“You’ve had your fair share of giant assholes just like I did before I met Jordan. You deserve someone spectacular. Someone who’s going to love you so hard—”
“I’m too tired for ‘spectacular.’” I took a deep breath, emphasizing my exhaustion, when really it was because I wanted to run from this conversation. “Me, myself, and I is plenty at the moment.”
“Jordan,” Maya said the moment he returned to collect more of the food, “don’t you have any single-slash-spectacular friends you can hook Emily up with?”
I pulled my hand away from her and pointed at him. “Don’t listen to her. It’s the Thai food talking. It’s her love language, so it makes her want crowns and castles and happily ever afters for everyone and their mother.”
Jordan chuckled.
“Don’t listen to her,” Maya countered. “I need you to play matchmaker, Jordan. My girl needs a prince.”
“See?” I mocked. “The girl is far too extra.”
“I’m not nearly extra enough.” She held her hand toward Jordan, and he grabbed it and sat under her stretched-out legs. “You must know plenty of single dudes, right?”
I guzzled half my glass and groaned. “Like I said, things are good just the way they are. I’m not looking for a man. I work two jobs. I wouldn’t even have time for a relationship. Or to date. Or whatever it would all entail.”
Maya smiled and looked at Jordan. “She’s not convincing me. Is she convincing you?”
“Sorry, Em.” Jordan grinned. “But I’m on Maya’s side with this one.”
I tossed a pillow at them.
“Brainstorm, Jordan.” Maya took a drink. “Who do you know that’s positively fabulous?”
“Positively fabulous”—he laughed again—“I’m not sure. I really need to think long and hard about this one.”
“Please don’t.” I pretended to dry-heave. “The whole setting-me-up thing makes me gaggy, and it feels like a train wreck waiting to happen.” My hand went to my heart. I didn’t like the way it was pounding beneath my fingers.
“That doesn’t have to be the case,” Jordan offered. “I’m sure I can come up with someone good.”
“How about someone you work with or a business associate?” Maya encouraged, crossing her legs over Jordan’s while he held her thighs. “Or someone you played hockey with. Or—”
“Jordan, where you at?” a voice yelled from what I assumed was the entrance of Jordan’s condo.
A voice, even though I’d only heard it a few times, I already knew far too well.
The sexiness and grittiness in Gavin’s tone made me sit up a little higher and bring my wine much closer to my mouth.
“In the living room!” Jordan yelled back.
What was Gavin doing here?
And why, out of all evenings, did he decide to come over tonight?
I sucked in as much air as I could hold and waited. The music Jordan had playing in the background made it impossible to hear Gavin’s footsteps, but I swore I could feel him getting closer, my body reacting to the anticipation of seeing him.
And when I did, when he crossed into the living room, wearing a pair of dark jeans and a cobalt-blue button-down, a color identical to his eyes so that they popped even more than normal, there wasn’t a spot in my body that wasn’t tingling.
Especially when his gaze locked with mine.
When his eyes narrowed and he took me in as if he were seeing me for the first time all over again.
I couldn’t read his expression. I couldn’t make sense of his posture.
He had stopped at the base of the ottoman, his arms crossed over his chest, the material of his shirt tight against each muscle.
With his height towering over me and his strength apparent in his size, I was dissolving into the couch, melting a little more every second.
What didn’t help was my nose sensing a subtle hint of his cologne, and after each inhale, I found myself breathing deeper so I could get more of his scent.
Why does he have this effect on me?
And why can’t I shut it off?
“You know, your brother’s single,” Maya said out of nowhere. “I wonder if he could be an option?”
I couldn’t speak. For so many reasons, the main one being that I was sure no words would come out—it would only be breaths that would sound like a moan.
“What do you think, Jordan?” Maya continued.
Gavin dragged his stare away from me and said to Maya, “What about me being single?”
“Gavin, my girl here needs a happily ever after. In other words, she needs a Jordan. So I asked Jordan if he had any single friends we could hook her up with, and you, being single yourself, just so happened to walk in.” Maya smiled.
And I wanted to die.