Chapter Twenty-Seven Emily
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Emily
Gavin: I miss you, baby.
Me: I miss you too. We’re having the best time, Gavin.
Jenny picked up Ben from school, gave him a bath, got him dressed in his jammies, and stayed here until I got home from work.
Maya came over a little before dinner, and now we’re eating the cupcakes we baked together.
You know, just a little sugar before he goes to bed.
Gavin: It won’t keep him awake. Sugar hits him hard in the morning. In the evening, it takes three stories and the kid will be knocked out.
Me: Business stuff all done?
Gavin: We wrapped up the meeting late morning, checked into the Cole and Spade Hotel in Laguna Beach and went surfing. Heading to a cigar bar soon and then dinner at one of Walker’s restaurants.
Me: Have the best time with your brother.
Gavin: You do the same with Ben and Maya.
Gavin: Grandma has already texted me twice about your girls’ night tomorrow night. Needless to say, she’s excited. She’s sending over her chef, by the way.
Me: She told me, lol. She doesn’t want us to do anything. She really spoils us.
Gavin: You deserve it.
Me: Love you.
Gavin: Love you.
I set my phone on the table and looked at Ben, who was covered in frosting, little bits on his cheeks, a smear on his forehead, some had even trickled down to his pajama top.
I grabbed my napkin, laughing as I dabbed the corners of my mouth.
“Kiddo, I don’t know how you’re so good at getting the frosting everywhere, but it’s everywhere. ”
He giggled. “Daddy says I have hidden talents—whatever that is—and this is one.”
“The four inches of frosting on his cupcake doesn’t help.” Maya was smiling. “Ben, doesn’t it make your teeth hurt?”
“Nope! I love it! I want mooore!”
I sliced my strawberry cupcake into quarters and took a bite. “Extra frosting is our thing,” I explained to her. “Or should I say, it’s his thing. Don’t you remember when we went skating at the arena? Well, it’s sorta escalated from there.”
Ben was licking off clumps of icing that were stuck to his fingers. “I wanna like the strawberry, ’cause Emily makes them so pretty, but I only like the vanilla.”
“Maybe one day I can get you to love it.” When he shrugged, I laughed again.
Maya took only a bite of hers and pushed it aside, opting for beer instead, pulling her glass in front of her. “Em, this”—she circled the air—“is so wildly perfect. But extra heavy on the wild side.”
I knew exactly what she was referring to. “Right? Who would have thought I’d be here? With Gavin. And this amazing little boy.” I stared at Ben, popping another bite of the strawberry cake into my mouth. “I’m the luckiest girl alive.”
I’d been thinking that a lot lately, and every time I said it out loud to myself or internally or when I voiced it to Maya just now, a wave of emotion came with it.
“You are,” Maya whispered.
When her hand moved to mine, I gazed at her. “There are two lucky girls in this room.” The overhead light caught the colors in the massive diamond on her finger. “Look at that thing. It deserves its own zip code.”
She snorted. “Jordan said he went modest—he knew I wouldn’t want anything gaudy. If this is modest, I’d hate to see what gaudy is.”
I petted it like it was Fenway. “It’s the most stunning ring I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Yours will be, too, babe.”
I waved the air. “We’ll celebrate me when the time comes. For now, we’re celebrating you, and that ginormous rock, and a wedding I’m dying to help you plan. Can we talk colors and dresses and locations and—”
“I wanna help!” Ben shouted, now with a frosting mustache.
Maya released my hand and raised both of hers in the air. “Ben, I would love nothing more. Will you please be my wedding planner?”
“Yep!” He repositioned himself on the chair, sitting on his bent knees.
Maya’s hands flattened on the table. “And you’ll help me pick out all the things?”
“Yep!”
“How about colors, Ben. Any ideas for that?” She winked at me.
“Dinosaur colors!”
Maya was taking a drink of her beer and laughed once she swallowed. “So you’re saying Emily, as my maid of honor, should wear a dinosaur-themed dress?”
“That’d be so cool.” When he nodded, a piece of frosting flung across the table.
“You need to have pterodactyls flying around the room and a Tyrannosaurus rex stomping all over the place and, I know, I know”—he jumped in his seat—“little Fenway needs to have fake wings on and pretend to fly, but he really doesn’t, he just looks like he’s going to fly. ”
“The stuffed animal Fenway?” Maya asked.
I pointed at the center of the kitchen island. “That one, yes.”
“Ben, do you think Uncle J will be able to find us some dinosaurs?” Maya pulled her plate closer to her and pinched some frosting between her fingers and licked it off. “Or can you work your magic and make it happen?”
“Hehe.” He lifted the paper wrapper and bit off some of the cake that was stuck to it. “Uncle J can dooo it.”
“You think so, do you?” Maya pressed.
I took my last bite, the sweetness of the cupcake becoming too much. “I think Maya is going to need your help, Ben. You’re the dinosaur expert of the family. You might have to help her hunt for some. Are you down for that task?”
“Yesss.” He giggled and patted his belly. “Emily, I’m so full.”
“Me, too, kiddo.” I checked the time on my phone. “How about you go upstairs and brush your teeth and get ready for bed.”
He slumped down in his chair. “I don’t wanna go to bed.”
I set my plate on top of Maya’s. “You don’t have to go to bed yet. You just have to get ready for bed. Then we’ll snuggle and read lots of books. How does that sound?”
“Okaaay.”
“Do you want to go brush your teeth now? I’ll be up there in a few minutes to check on you.”
As Ben got up from his chair, Maya said, “Good night, buddy. Can I have a hug?” Ben rushed over to Maya and threw his arms around her waist, Maya kissing the top of his head. “Sleep well. Emily and I are going to be in Dad’s bed if you need us, okay?”
“Okay!” He took off for the stairs.
I smiled as I watched him disappear. “You know, I’ve never put Ben to bed before.”
“Never?” She crossed her legs, setting her arms back on the table.
“It’s always something Gavin does. I’ve never asked if I can join. I don’t know, it seems like a kind of moment that should just be between a parent and their kid.”
“But Em, you are going to be his parent.” She grabbed my arm and held it. “You basically are now.”
Even though she was right and I loved Ben more than anything, the steps before bed felt like a Gavin thing, not a me thing.
I shrugged. “It’s funny, I never thought much about it, so I didn’t make it a huge deal in my head.
Gavin goes upstairs with him, I almost always fall asleep on the couch, and he wakes me when he comes back downstairs after Ben is asleep.
But now that I’m really thinking about it, I’m excited for this to be my moment.
” I went silent, my shoulders no longer high but rounding forward. “I know that sounds silly.”
“It doesn’t. Not at all.”
My head dropped, and I looked at her fingers on my arm. “I spend a lot of time with Ben. But something about snuggling with him in his bed and reading him books and hearing his soft, little snores feels so tender and pure.”
Her hand went to her heart. “You’re going to make me cry.”
“Please don’t. Because if you cry, I’ll cry, and neither of us need to be doing that tonight.”
She squeezed me before her fingers pulled away. “Go. I’ll clean up. And when you come back downstairs, I promise not to be asleep, and I’ll have a glass of wine poured for you.”
I blew her a kiss, and as I went upstairs, I could hear Ben singing.
I didn’t know the song. I could barely make out the words and his voice was pitchy, yet it was the cutest thing ever.
I stopped in the doorway of his en suite.
He was using his toothbrush as a microphone, staring at himself in the mirror, the dusting of frosting still all over his shirt and face, and now a ring of toothpaste was around his mouth.
He quieted just as I said, “How’s it going in here, you little rock star?”
“All done!” He gave me an extra-big grin.
“Your teeth are all brushed?”
He nodded.
“Awesome. Then how about we wash off some of the toothpaste and frosting from your face.” I grabbed a washcloth from the cabinet and wet it with warm water, carefully rubbing it across Ben’s skin. “What song were you singing?” Once he was clean, I worked on the frosting that was stuck to his shirt.
“It’s from the dinosaur show I watch with Dad. I sing it every night before bed.”
“Does Dad sing it with you?”
Ben laughed. “No. He won’t. No matter how many times I ask him.”
When I finally got all the frosting off, I set the washcloth over the side of his sink. “You’re all clean.”
“Just like my teeth.” He smiled. “Seee?”
“I seee.” I laughed.
“Now, story time.” He led me to the bookcase in his room, a built-in display of floor-to-ceiling shelves with a dinosaur mural painted on both sides, and he flopped down in front of it, pulling the first book based on its spine.
“I want this one.” He handed me a book on dinosaurs.
“This one.” The second was about birds. “This one annnd this one.” The next two were about otters.
“Four?”
“Yep! We have a lot of reading to do, Emily.”
I laughed as I followed him to bed, carrying the pile of books.
Before he climbed in, he kissed his hand and reached toward something on his nightstand. “Good night, Mom.”
As he got under the covers and made room for me, I looked at his nightstand, trying to see what he’d air-kissed. There were several things on there. A dinosaur lamp. A bottle of water. Several books and multiple framed photos.
I placed the books on the side of the bed and sat next to them. “Is one of those pictures of your mom?”
“Yep! That one!” He pointed at the frame in the back. “I say good night to her every night.”
There weren’t any photos of Sarah downstairs, and although I’d been in Ben’s room before, I never noticed his nightstand or the framed pictures on top of it.
“Do you mind if I look at her?”
He repositioned himself next to me, kneeling on the bed. “Nope! I’ll help.” He almost knocked over the water bottle and he dinged the lamp as he grasped the large, chunky metal frame, lifting it toward the bed and handing it to me.
The frame was cut into two separate sections.
The top was a photo of a dark-haired woman, standing by a window.
She was looking through it, so only her profile showed, but she appeared to be stunning.
She was wearing a long, sheer dressing gown that was open in the center, her hands clasping her beautiful round belly.
But my attention didn’t stay on her—it moved to the bottom section of the frame, where an off-white piece of paper was pressed behind the glass with words written in blue ink. As I began to read those words, my heart started to pound.
My mouth went completely dry.
My hands shook so badly, I dropped the frame on the carpet.
No.
It couldn’t be.
It was impossible.
There was . . . no fucking way.
“Ben?” There was a churning in my stomach that was getting worse by the second. “What was your mom’s last name? It wasn’t Worthington . . . right?”
“No, it was Luc—”
“Lucas,” I finished for him.
My hand went to my chest, air no longer moving through it.
The room was spinning.
I was dizzy.
A blackness came over my eyes, a heat lifting across my body and coming through the pores of my skin.
When I tried to take a breath, it felt like I was sucking through a clogged straw.
“Ben”—I got up from the bed, leaving the frame right where it fell—“I’ll be right back.”
I couldn’t feel my feet as I flew out of his room. I had no recollection of going down the stairs. I didn’t even see Maya until I felt someone grab me. Until her hands were on my arms and her face was directly in front of mine.
“Emily, what happened? What’s wrong?”
“Ben . . .” The tears were streaming down my cheeks, and I still had no air in me. “His-s mom. His m-mom is Sa-Sarah.”
“Sarah?” She shook her head while she stared at me, and suddenly the realization came across her face and her hand slapped over her mouth. “Oh my God, Emily . . . You mean his mom is Sarah—Sarah. Your Sarah?”