11. Jeff
JEFF
“ D amn, Maddow. Something’s got you all revved up,” Hill said as we finished up in the batting cages two days later. “You’re hitting way better than your average. No offense.”
“None taken.” I picked up one bucket of balls, he grabbed the other and we started putting the equipment away. “I felt good today.”
“I’ll fucking say. You mad about something?”
Just the fact I think Coach is involved in something illegal that affects student athletes all across campus. Oh, or the fact I keep thinking about the kiss with Amber and how I’ve gone without hooking up with someone.
“Nah, just amped.”
“Well, whatever it is, keep it up. Honestly, I thought something was bothering you, but you just kicked ass so I won’t pester you.”
I didn’t respond and instead nodded to the coach I worked with the most. Allen had spent ten years playing catcher in the minors and had great insight for me to help with calling pitches and while I dreaded making the decision to not continue after college, I still ached to learn as much as I could.
“Hey, Allen, you got something you want to work on. Before we head out?”
“Not today. Coach was looking for you, though, if you have a few minutes to stop by his office.”
Don’t react. Keep your face the same. “Sure, I’ll head there now.”
“Come prepared to work on blocks more Monday. Rest tomorrow, but I want Coach Tee working with you. It’s going to suck losing you next year, man. We need to train these youngins.”
“That we do,” I responded, proud my voice remained even and didn’t give him a clue of the panic raging in my chest. He clapped my shoulder in a familiar gesture and left me alone with nothing to do besides go talk to Coach.
Be cool. My pep talk didn’t do shit to calm my erratic heartbeat or stop my palms from sweating.
Each step closer to his small office felt like a punch to the gut.
What does he want to talk about? Does he know I’m asking around? Does he know I know?
Jesus, this is fucked. I rubbed my temples and straightened to my full height once I arrived at his door.
How many times had I come in here and talked to him about stuff?
He provided advice and life guidance whenever we needed it and did his involvement taint all the lessons he taught us?
I gritted my teeth together, causing a sharp pain in my jaw, and I forced myself to count to ten to relax. Then I knocked. “It’s Maddow.”
“Jeff. Come in.”
With one last gulp of air, I entered his office and immediately looked for anything that would give me a clue.
There wasn’t anyone else in there with us, nor was there a red flag or flashing light that would tell me to get out.
It was just him sitting at his weathered chair with an expression that I could never figure out if was happiness or confusion.
It was the way his eyebrows were curved.
It gave him the impression he was uncertain all the time.
I wiped my palms on my shorts and sat down on the chair in front of him. “Allen said you wanted to see me.”
“Why are you so damn stiff? Word is you’re kicking ass in the cages.” He shuffled some papers around on the desk and I made sure to never once glance down at them. He paused, frowned and spoke in a concerned tone. “Something’s up with you.”
Fuck. He knows. He fucking knows. “Nerves for the season, Coach. That’s all.”
“No. I’ve watched you for four years, Jeff, I know your mannerisms.” He set the papers down and gave me his full attention: arms on the desk, dark eyes narrowed at me and the damn toothpick sticking out of his mouth. “Is it your parents? Someone on the team?”
I blamed the fear of him finding out the truth about the investigation for the reason I blurted out, “I don’t know if I want to get drafted.”
His only reaction was shifting the toothpick from the left side of his mouth to the right. “That bothers you?”
“Shouldn’t it? I’ve dedicated my entire life to the sport and I might want out. There are other options that excite me and the thought of going a different path… Shit. It’s like throwing away all the blood, sweat and tears me and my parents have put into it.”
He grunted and leaned back onto his squeaky office chair and crossed his arms over his barrel chest. “You have talent, Maddow. I’ll be clear with you.
You could be one of the greats if you went that route.
You have the brains and the physical ability to be an elite catcher, but if your heart isn’t there, then you walk.
That life is not something you can do half-ass. ”
“I know.” I put my head in my hands and felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
This was who my coach was. He was man to talk me off the ledge.
A small twinge of guilt crept up, but I pushed it away.
This will get him off my scent. “When I played overseas last summer, I hated being away from everyone. Friends, family, my style of life…it was miserable. I made friends on the team, but it wasn’t the same and I’m not someone desperate for the paycheck. ”
“You’ll get drafted, but it’ll be up to you if you accept. I gotta say, son, it seems you already have your mind made up, but you need to convince yourself it’s okay.”
God damn, he’s right.
“I’m afraid of disappointing my parents and teammates.”
He scoffed. “If I know this team, they’ll support any decision you make. And your future is up to you. If you don’t mind me asking, what do you want to do?”
It’s now or never. Tell him the truth. “Look into law school.”
He digested the information for a full minute before his face broke out into a smile. It was so rare to see it on his face I blinked to make sure it really happened. “Damn, you’ll make a hell of a lawyer.”
“Thanks, Coach.”
“That’s what I’m here for. This stays between us, so don’t worry about it getting out.”
Relief coursed through my veins followed by guilt when he added, “And you’re sure there’s nothing else you want to tell me?”
He doesn’t mean…that, right? I tensed for a couple of seconds before settling on the burden eating me up. “Not continuing has been on my mind since I came back last summer. I didn’t realize it was showing through my mannerisms.”
“Coaches see more than you think.” He cleared his throat and went back to his normal expression. “I was just checking in with you so head on out and enjoy your day off tomorrow.”
“Thank you. You too.”
“The wife wants to go furniture shopping. There is no day off with that shit.”
His comment made me laugh and I walked out of the office in a totally different mood than I entered, but one comment stuck with me.
Coaches see more than you think.
Was it a threat or a hint?
While I hadn’t talked to Amber since our kiss, she’d crossed my mind more than I liked. I shouldn’t be thinking about trying to come up with something involved in the investigation just so I could text her. I wasn’t that guy and we weren’t even friends…right?
Fuck, I didn’t think about shit like this.
I had enough to worry about. Plus, I wanted a couple of hours to research law schools and the best programs to study for the LSAT away from the house.
While it felt great to tell my coach, I was not ready to tell my teammates.
We vibed so well with a shared goal, and throwing a wrench into that before the season was the last thing I wanted to do.
Away from any of my teammates was the best option.
There was a pizza place that served gelato and coffee off campus that I’d found two years ago when my parents had visited and I grabbed my laptop and promised my roommates I’d meet up with them later.
Time alone, away from everything, sounded great and I could afford to eat at least three slices of pizza after running two miles that morning.
Content with my decision, I drove to the parlor and didn’t think about my coach, Amber or the investigation once. But that changed when I walked in and found Amber sitting at a table with a middle-aged man. The man I knew to be Martin Rhett. Why didn’t she tell me about this?
I clenched my fists against my sides at the quick onset of anger, then I dismissed it.
I’d chosen to trust her and maybe she was going to tell me about it after.
Without drawing attention to myself, I selected a table far enough away where she wouldn’t see me but I could observe them without being creepy.
First thing I noticed was that she smiled often with him.
She never looked down at the ground like I saw her do a lot nor did she look tense.
She was completely relaxed and I had to admit, I liked this version of her.
She had her long curly hair down around her shoulders and the bright red sweater she wore looked great on her.
It matched her lips and our kiss from Thursday replayed in my head.
Passionate. She kissed with so much energy I was dying to do it again. That should terrify me, but it was Amber so it wasn’t like we were going to do anything more, right?
She glanced in my direction and I quickly put my head down. Shit. She saw me.
My phone buzzed two seconds later.
Amber: Be honest, are you spying on me?
Jeff: Wasn’t my intention.
Amber: Wasn’t a no, either.
Jeff: Were you going to tell me you were meeting with your uncle?
Amber: Wow, our kiss must’ve really messed with your brain. Pretty sure you said you trust me now.
Was…Amber flirting? Damn, but I found I kinda like it.
Jeff: That kiss did mess with me. I think we should do it again.
Amber: I imagine this is how you get all your women. You tell them what you want and they oblige.
Jeff: Need I remind you, Amber, you kissed me.
Jeff: Twice.
Amber: To. Cover. Our. Asses.
Amber: Only. Reason.
Jeff: Bull. Shit.
Amber: Whatever. We’ll talk later, okay?
I didn’t reply but I had a huge grin on my face when I saw her blush from across the restaurant.
She met my gaze for a second—her uncle also turning in my direction—so I forced my attention onto the menu.
Despite what Amber said, my gut told me Martin Rhett would be the one who answered the inconspicuous phone number.
Why else would his name be on any sheet of paper in my coach’s office?
And, why did Cooper Killian know him when there was no reason to?
I have to show the others his picture. The thought of going behind Amber’s back didn’t feel great and caused an uncomfortable rock in my gut, but if she wanted to clear his name for real, it was the right move.
Now, the question was to tell her about it or just do it?
I made a list of five people I wanted to ask about Martin Rhett and saved it on my laptop.
My goal was to work on law-school stuff, not the investigation, but it was hard to focus with Amber and her uncle being in the same vicinity.
My attention drifted toward them every few minutes and each time, a different question popped into my mind.
Were they close? Why did she look so happy with him? What did they talk about?
Are they in this together?
No. I refused to believe that small doubt because of how intrigued she was with the investigation. And I had to admit she had put more work into it than I had and why would she do that if she was involved in the scam we were looking into?
I let out a frustrated sigh at my lack of discipline.
It was no use and I closed my laptop and accepted defeat.
Amber and her uncle remained in their seats and she didn’t look my way once when I walked out of the pizza place.
Having drinks with my teammates and not thinking about her was the only plan to get my distracted mind on track…
and it had nothing to do with the incessant need to text her.
She said she’d reach out later and that would have to do.