25. Jeff
JEFF
O ne week left until our season started and the energy in the house was erratic.
It was almost tangible. Zade hummed constantly as he paced and rearranged books on our shelf while Aaron and Tanner threw insult after insult while they played video games.
It was normal for us to get amped up before a season, but this felt heavier.
I was spending more time with Amber because she was the perfect distraction from the mess in my head, but it still didn’t help me sleep.
My dreams were filled with nightmares of me disappointing the team, losing the game or ruining the season for everyone.
Guilt took its form in a variety of ways and mine rooted itself in my stomach, tearing at the lining until I broke.
“Guys, can I talk to you about something?”
“Do you even need to ask?” Zade responded, eyeing two different books to make sure they were equal distance apart. “Are you about to explain the weird mood you’ve been in? Because I thought with a chick you’d mellow out a bit. We’ve heard you and Amber. You’re not quiet.”
“Okay, Zade . You’re one to talk.” Tanner rolled his eyes and paused the game. He was in a tricky spot since he was dating Aaron’s little sister so we couldn’t joke around with him if Hilly was around. It was like poking a bear who hadn’t eaten in a year. “What’s going on, Jeff?”
I rolled my shoulders, hoping it was help with the tension, but it didn’t.
Amber had encouraged me to share everything with them, whatever I felt comfortable with, but it still felt wrong to talk about it without her here.
She’d holed herself in the library to start writing without disruptions—which included me—so I found myself sitting with my roommates reading to spill my fucking guts.
They looked at me without judgment, just curiosity, and I plopped onto the couch.
“I don’t want to play baseball after this season. ”
They all reacted differently, but not overtly.
Zade furrowed his eyebrows, Aaron shifted his position on the couch and Tanner ran a hand over his jaw.
No one asked why, or said I was an idiot, so I continued.
“Playing overseas last year really fucked with me. It wasn’t what I envisioned and I know it’s different playing in the minors, but my heart isn’t in it anymore. ”
“Dude, that’s why you’re so uptight?” Hilly asked, scoffing and shaking his head at me. “You were afraid of telling us that?”
“Well, yeah.” My face burned with embarrassment for a minute before I started to relax.
“It’s been the goal all these years. All four of us.
Playing our asses off, enjoying college and making it to the big leagues.
It’s what brought us together freshman year and me losing the same collective goal freaked me out. ”
“I understand the worry, but it’s unnecessary. It wasn’t the draft that brought us together, man—it was the friendship. The brotherhood.” Zade got up and put a hand on my shoulder. “I hate you couldn’t tell us that, but I get it. We all deal with shit differently.”
“I didn’t realize it fully until the past couple of months.
I’ve been looking up law schools and want to start studying for the LSAT after the final season.
It makes me sound privileged, but money isn’t an issue for me.
” I stopped and winced. “I can take the time to figure out a different future for myself.”
“You gotta do what’s best for you.” Tanner gave me a reassuring smile and added, “You’d make a hell of a lawyer.”
My heart swelled with pride as my teammates asked more questions, like what schools I was looking at or what type of law I was interested in, and there wasn’t one judgmental question about my lack of dedication.
It didn’t matter than no one said it, I still felt the need to clarify myself.
“This doesn’t change how hard I’m going to play this season.
This team is still my family and I’m gonna play like hell. ”
“No shit,” Hilly said with a laugh. “We’d kick your tall ass if you didn’t.”
“This changes nothing, by the way. Not how we treat you, not how we’re gonna play on the field, nor what we tell anybody. This is your choice and your business and it’ll stay that way,” Zade said, stepping up to be the leader he had always been. “Thanks for telling us.”
Do I tell them? Will it make it worse or better? Amber’s words about owing them a warning repeated in my head. If the situation was reversed, I’d want to know. “There’s something else.”
“What is it?” Zade asked.
“The reason Amber and I even got together is because something fishy is going on in sports.” They all sat up straighter and gave me their undivided attention. “Involving baseball…and more.”
“Wait—what the hell do you mean by that?” Zade asked, sharing a concerned look with Hilly.
“It’s something illegal.”
“Go on,” Hilly urged when I paused.
“We have reason to believe players, not legit ones, are buying their way onto team rosters and into the school.” I ran my hand over the back of my neck and waited for their reaction. Would they believe me? Laugh at me? Mock me?
“Jeff, that’s… That sounds—” Zade stopped and cast a look at Hilly. Then they both said together, “Tell us how we can help.”
My mood reached an all-time high after sharing everything with my teammates.
Relief loosened the muscles in my neck and I thought about Amber on my walk to the library.
I couldn’t wait to tell her about their reactions, and willingness to help, and I wondered how much work she’d gotten done.
My effort to find pictures had resulted in discovering just one that could’ve been her uncle at a high school three years ago—so not really helpful.
She’d said she had an idea and I trusted her to find something useful.
I smiled, not caring I probably looked like a weirdo smiling to myself, at how incredible her work had been.
I would be a fool to think the investigation was fifty-fifty.
She had done a lot of the work and I owed her big-time.
She texted me her location on the lowest floor and I found her super focused, hair piled on top of her head and a large frown on her face.
God she’s cute. She wore a loose sweater that hung off one of her shoulders and she chewed on her bottom lip, clearly interested in whatever she was reading on her computer.
A part of me wanted to watch her, but people were staring at me and I didn’t want to be weird. “Hey, Henderson.”
She looked up and her face changed. It softened completely for me and I’d be damned if it didn’t make me feel something inside my chest. “Sit down.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I obeyed and moved to the chair next to her. “You should boss me around in the bedroom more often.”
She ignored my comment and I laughed. It had been two days since we’d spent the night together—her choice, not mine—and just being near her had me thinking dirty thoughts. “Look at this.”
She pointed at her computer screen and scrolled through five pictures. Each one of them had her uncle in the background. It wasn’t clear where the pictures were taken, but it was definitely him. “Where are these from?”
She lowered her voice to a whisper and it forced me to lean closer to her.
I wasn’t mad about it and fought the urge to kiss her.
“I spent hours creeping on some of the guys involved and their signing, because most kids who get any legit partial-scholarship have a signing day at school, right? But since these are under the radar, I had to go deep. Three of these pictures are of the guys we talked to in the beginning and my Uncle Martin is there. But get this, I can’t find any proof these guys made a big deal out of getting a spot on an athletic team.
So why was he there? And I’m pretty sure this Tony guy is this dude.
” She pointed at a blurred figure of a man, but he didn’t look familiar to me.
But Martin Rhett was definitely in the shots with the fake-athletes.
“Holy shit, Amber. This is incredible work.” I put my hand on her knee and squeezed it. “This is part of that evidence we need.”
“I know.” She pushed some crazy escaped hairs behind her ear and leaned back. “I have an appointment to meet with the Dean of Athletics tomorrow and after that, I think I can have the first draft done by your first game.”
“You’re amazing.” Fuck it. I dipped low enough to kiss her and she hummed in response. “Please tell me you aren’t busy tonight.”
“Why? What did you have in mind?” She wiggled her brows at me.
“We grab dinner, take a break from all this shit. You deserve a nice dinner and I want to take you out.”
“Yeah?” She blushed and scrunched her nose. “We’re going on a date. You and me.”
I thought about it for a second and shrugged. “Yes. I’m taking you on a date.”
“Should I wear stockings?”
“Fuck me, Amber.” I groaned into my fist and ran my hand up her leg. She wore jeans, but she got the message. “You’re killing me.”
“Better get used to it if we’re going to continue this once your games start. You’ll have many-a-night with your good ole hand.” She laughed at her own joke and paled when she saw my face. “Oh shit. Did I ruin it by suggesting we continue?”
If I’m this obsessed with her now, what will it be like during the season? Can I even fit her in? Do I want to try?
“Ignore me, Jeff. I know how crazy your season will be and I’m pretty sure we agreed to only let this continue until the story is done.” She blinked quite a bit and red splotches appeared on her neck. “Seriously, forget I said anything.”
“I want to continue this.” I scooted my chair closer so her side pressed into mine and I felt awful at her momentary embarrassment. “It’ll be tough and new for me, but I’d like to try.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” I said, enjoying the way she molded into my side. She let out the littlest sigh when I put my arm around her shoulder and it felt right. “We just need to be honest with each other.”
“I can do honesty.” She looked up at me with so much warmth and love that my breath caught in my throat. I coughed at the unfamiliar sensation and she frowned. “I have some water. Here, take a sip.”
She pulled out a water bottle and handed it to me. She took care of people she cared about and I wanted to be the one to take care of her. “Thank you. Listen, are you sure you want to write this knowing it’ll cause a lot of issues for your family? I know what your uncle means to you.”
“I can’t be complicit in his actions. He made his choices and I can deal with the fall-out.
I’ve always been the black sheep of my family, loved less than my brothers and ignored by most of my extended family because of my dumb choices as a teen.
Nothing would change except my relationship with him and I’ve been questioning that lately anyway. Was he fooling me this entire time?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I heard the way he talked about your talents that day. He cares about you and regardless of his actions, that shouldn’t affect his support of you.”
“I guess we’ll see.” She brought her fingers to her lips and pulled on the side. “It’s crazy how much we’ve uncovered and yet there is still so much we don’t know.”
“My goal was always to expose them and let the higher-ups deal with the details. Even if we can put something on their radar and get traction… Hey, I told the guys everything this morning.”
“Really?” Her grin stretched from ear to ear and she patted my hand. “I’m so glad you told them. How do you feel?”
She didn’t ask what they said or their reaction. She asked about me and it felt nice to have someone care. “Guilt free and like the weight on my shoulders lifted. I practically skipped here to tell you.”
“I’m sure they were accepting of your choice and willing to help. Am I right?”
“Yes,” I said, pulling her in for another hug. “They offered to help anyway they can. I brought up some of the younger guys and they remembered the same shady shit that went down. It validated everything I had been feeling.”
“Good. We might need help spreading the article and bringing awareness to it with their social media followings.”
My phone went off and glanced to see a text from Zade. I almost ignored it, but I saw Amber’s name.
Zade: Been thinking about what you told us. Never thought anything of it but Coach Tee was asking me this week if I was involved in the article by the Henderson girl. Could mean something, or not, but it felt weird to have him ask me.
Jeff: Thanks man. If you think of anything else, let me know.
“Look at this. He was asking me about you, too.”
She read it and clicked her tongue a couple of times. “It’s safe to say Tee’s not just your head coach involved in this.”
“My head coach has been alone with me a handful of times the past month or two and hasn’t once asked me about your article. You think it’s an act?”
“He could be drawing suspicions away from himself and using his assistant coaches to try and gauge how much you know.” She sighed and continued, “Or, he wants you to still trust him. You said he didn’t read my text on your phone. Do you believe him?”
“The man still has a flip phone, so yes. But he has issued a couple of grave warnings that had me on edge. He knows I know something.” The tingling sensation of being watched caused me to look around the library. “The sooner we get this out in the open, the better. Maybe I can relax then.”
“You and me both.”
“Want me to leave you alone for a bit and pick you up in a couple hours for our date?”
“Yeah. I’d like that.”
“Wear stockings.” I stood, kissing her more passionately than I should’ve for being in public, and grinned at the heat in her eyes.