Chapter Four #2
“HE HAD NOTHING ELSE to say? I could kick Donnie’s ass.
” Maddie handed her another glass of wine.
Charlie had gone home to see her folks for a couple of hours but then headed straight to Maddie’s for some much needed girl time.
The two women sat in Maddie’s back yard enjoying the sunset, while Dave took care of the kids' bath and bedtime.
“He wanted to talk. But I... couldn't.” Tears welled up again.
“Oh, honey. Don’t.”
Maddie sat beside her on the small garden’s padded bench and pulled her into a hug.
“I don’t know why I’m so upset. I mean, it’s been ten years. I’m getting married.” Charlie swiped at her tears in frustration.
“He was the first boy you kissed. You cared for him, and he left at the worst time of your life. Of course, you’re upset,” Maddie said reasonably. “How long is he in town for?”
“I don’t know. Couple of days, I think.”
“And how about you? I mean it’s always great to see you, but this was a surprise. I thought you were going to Canada?”
“I am.” She sighed and picked up her wine. “Simon is working on this big deal. I thought I would give him some space. I’m only passing through on my way to Toronto.”
“You two have a fight?”
“No. Not really.” She told Maddie about what Simon had said about her work and how things would change when they were married. “It’s all just a misunderstanding. When I get back, we’ll talk and work it all out.”
Maddie was frowning as Charlie sipped her wine. When she didn’t speak, Charlie frowned too. “What? It’s the truth.”
“Is it? Charlie, you are my best friend, and I love you. I know we haven’t seen each other much recently, but I can tell you haven’t been happy lately.”
Charlie sighed. Maddie knew her too well.
“I don’t know what to do. I mean, any woman would love to be in my shoes, marrying the handsome, rich, real estate mogul. I’m so lucky he chose me. This is just a phase, right? Work, the wedding. It’s a lot of pressure. I do love him.”
“You’re not any woman, Charlie. Money and status have never meant anything to you.
If I’m honest, I was surprised when you two got together.
I mean Simon had quite the reputation at school, but you were happy, and Simon was treating you well.
I haven't seen that happiness in a while, though. Planning your wedding should be a magical, happy time. You should be with your friends and family planning the details. You get married in eight weeks, yet I’ve barely heard you talk about it. In fact, you avoid it on our calls.”
Charlie fiddled with her wine glass, not looking at her best friend. “I’ve not really been involved. His family are taking care of it. I didn’t even get to pick my dress.”
“Oh, my god, are you serious? Charlie, that’s not right. It’s your wedding.”
Charlie stood. “It’s just the way his family does things. Old money, you know? They’re good people who have old family traditions. He’s done so much for me, for my family. I’m lucky to be with him.” She turned away, picking up the wine bottle to refill her glass.
Seconds of silence passed before Maddie asked, “And what about what you want?”
Charlie spun around.
“I want what he wants.”
“So, you’re willing to sacrifice everything you want in life for him? Your work, your dream wedding and who knows what else?” Maddie stood and took the wine bottle from her.
“I don’t see it as a sacrifice. We love each other. Love is about compromise.”
“Yes it is. So tell me how Simon has compromised?”
Charlie sat back down, not answering.
Maddie sat next to her. “Let me ask you something and I want you to tell me the truth.” Charlie waited. This was Maddie, always blunt and to the point.
“When you look at Simon, do you feel an overwhelming sense of love? Of not bearing to be apart from him? Of wanting to jump his bones? A need so bad that he’s in your every thought?”
“That only happens in romance novels. Not real life.”
“Really? I have it with Dave. I see him and my stomach flips every time. Tell me you didn’t feel that want, that need, that heat when Donnie kissed you ten years ago.”
Charlie stared at her best friend. “What?” She remembered every goddamn sensation. Had relived it too many times, sometimes when she was with Simon.
“When you saw Donnie today, did it all come back?”
It had. In glorious, hot detail.
“It doesn’t matter if it did. Donnie made it very clear ten years ago he didn’t want me.”
Maddie handed her a tissue. “I know. I’m not suggesting you get it together with Donnie. I’m trying to make you see that you deserve to feel that connection. You are an amazing woman. Simon is the one lucky to have you. Does he tell you that? Show you that?”
“He tells me he loves me.” Although not as often. He was always so busy. Meetings, trips, dinners. It never ended. He was forever telling her he had to be seen. It was how he made contacts and closed deals. Reputation was everything to Simon.
“Words are easy. It’s action that counts,” Maddie said. “Someone that loves you would not make you give up a job you love. They wouldn’t criticize your clothes. And to be honest, they would be here banging on the door, apologizing for being such a dickhead and driving you away.”
Charlie collapsed back on the sofa, rubbing her arms.
“What happened to your arm?” Maddie asked in alarm.
Too late, Charlie realized she’d rifled the sleeve of the top she’d changed into, exposing her upper arm.
“Nothing.” She pulled down the sleeve.
“Did he do that?”
“It’s nothing. Sometimes he just doesn’t realize his own strength. You know how easy I bruise.”
“Again? This is not the first time. Has he hit y—”
“Maddie, he didn’t. I swear. He wouldn’t hit me. He’s got a lot on his mind. He’s tense. More than usual.”
“I don’t care. You should be the most important person in his life. And he sure as hell should not be taking his stress out on you or upset you like this.”
“I know. Today has just been a rough day. Simon, the lunch, Dominique, then seeing Donnie. I’ll be better in the morning.” She forced a smile.
“Whoa! Back up. Who is Dominique?”
“A tall, skinny brunette, with perfect legs, perfect tits, perfect nails, and a perfect ass who kissed my fiancé right in front of me.”
Maddie’s eyes widened as Charlie explained what happened.
“Do you believe him that she’s an old friend and not important?” Maddie asked when she was done.
Charlie sighed. “I guess. Why would he lie? If it was a chance run in and she’s not important, why waste my time?”
“Damn it, girl. You have got to stop making excuses for him.”
“I’m not!” she protested, but even as she said it, she knew she was. She wasn't so much trying to defend him, as not wanting to admit just how badly Simon had been treating her lately.
“How’s the sex?”
“Maddie!”
‘What? You’re still newly in love. Tell me that is good, at least.”
“It’s fine, thank you.” Charlie sipped her wine.
“Fine? Seriously?”
“Maddie, he’s busy, I’m working, too. I mean we have sex, but I guess we don't have the same sex drive as you and Dave do. We’re both happy with things as they are.”
“But—”
“Maddie, stop. Please. Can we change the conversation?”
“OK, OK. But let me just say that you are a beautiful, sexy woman. You’ve worked hard to be proud of who you are. And you deserve a man who can’t keep his hands off you.” Maddie smiled and wagged her finger teasingly.
“I am proud of who I am.” Most of the time.
After the bullying at school, Nate’s death, and Donnie breaking her heart, Charlie had ended up in therapy.
Any shred of confidence she had been clinging to had been destroyed when Donnie left.
She’d hated herself, her body, her weight, her life.
Her mom had seen her going down a dark hole and persuaded her to go to therapy.
Her folks thought it was just Nate’s death that sent her spiraling since she had never told them about Donnie.
No one knew what happened that night except Maddie and her therapist.
Therapy had gone better than she thought.
At first, she had gone just to please her mom, but after a few sessions she found relief in being able to talk about school, Nate, Donnie with someone who had no preconceived judgment.
It had taken time, but as the months passed, she felt better.
She’d even been able to forgive Donnie. It still hurt and she would never forget, but she’d had to forgive to move on.
Today had taken her off guard, that's all.
Her therapist had also helped her embrace her body.
Get comfortable in her own skin. She’d begun experimenting with clothes and found styles that flattered her figure, her large breasts and wide hips.
She accepted she was never going to be skinny, but she no longer hated what she saw in the mirror.
Her confidence had grown, and she held her head up high.
Men had noticed her more. Simon Radwell noticed her.
That had been a huge ego boost. Finally, she felt accepted, instead of the fat girl that got bullied in school.
“Earth to Charlie. Are you there?”
Charlie focused back on her friend. “Yes, sorry.”
“So, when are you actually leaving for Canada?”
“Tomorrow afternoon. I’m going to spend the morning with Mom and Dad, and then the car is picking me up around two to drive there. Gives me a couple of days to explore before I start my two-week assignment.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing. Some time to yourself. You can think without any husbands to be, or surprise ex high school crushes appearing.”
Charlie laughed. The wine and talking to her bestie always made her feel better. Maddie had always said it like it was, since their first meeting on the playground in elementary, and she loved her for that.
“So, did Donnie still look hot?” Maddie grinned.
Charlie rolled her eyes, reluctantly admitting, “Ridiculously hot.”
“Oh, man. I think I might have to go and take a look for myself.”
“Maddie! You’re a married woman!” she teased.
“Yep. But looking doesn’t hurt anyone.”