Chapter Seven #2
She slung her purse over her body, grabbed sunglasses, then without bothering to check the peep hole, opened the door and shrieked in surprise.
“Hi, Charlie.”
“I... what are you doing here?” She stared at Donnie standing calmly, smiling at her.
“You missed our talk date, so I came to you,” he said quietly.
He was dressed in navy cargo shorts and a gray polo shirt and looked...delicious. Her heart threatened to beat out of her chest and butterflies danced low in her stomach. God dammit, why did her body have this reaction to him after everything he’d done?
“How did you know where to find me?” As she said it, she knew how. “Maddie. I’m going to kill her.”
“Charlie, please. Have that coffee with me. Hear me out. If you want me to leave after, I will.” His voice was soft and held a hint of pleading.
Charlie sighed. “And if I say no?”
“Then I guess I’ll just follow you around until you change your mind.” His smile was tentative, and her eyes dropped to his lips for a second.
“That’s called stalking. It’s a crime you know.” She raised her eyes back to his.
“Then stop me getting arrested and let me buy you a coffee.”
“I have plans today.” She folded her arms across her chest.
“One coffee.”
If she didn’t have coffee with him, would he really follow her around? Yeah, he probably would. This was not how she wanted to spend her day. Let him say his piece, then they could go their separate ways.
“One coffee. In the lobby downstairs.”
“Thank you.”
He stepped aside as she walked out, the door closing behind her. Not waiting, she headed straight for the elevator and pushed the button, sensing him standing close behind.
Thankfully, other people were in the elevator as they rode to the ground floor. As the doors opened, she stepped out, but Donnie waited for everyone else to exit before he joined her.
“Where would you like to sit?” he asked.
She looked around at the cozy sofas and love seats. Off to the side were two high backed chairs with a table in between. She made her way to them and sat. A staff member approached.
“Can I get you anything?” she asked with a smile.
“Charlie, what would you like?”
“Coffee with cream, please.”
“And for you, sir?”
“Black coffee, please.”
“Anything to eat?” the woman asked.
“No. We aren't staying that long,” Charlie said. This was not going to be a chummy breakfast.
The young woman nodded and left them. Taking a deep breath, Charlie turned to face him to get this over with. “So?”
Donnie leaned forward, bracing those fine, muscular arms on his thighs as he clasped his hands in front of him. Those big, strong hands that had once cupped her face.
“I could say I’m sorry a thousand times, and I know it wouldn’t be enough. It wouldn't excuse or make up for what I did. But I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
Charlie bit her lip, his words doing funny things to her insides.
“You know how much I loved Nate,” he said. “He was my brother even if we weren’t related. I couldn’t stay. After what happened, I couldn’t be there anymore.”
Charlie shook her head slowly. “Do you think I wanted to be there? He was my brother, and I loved him. After that night, I thought at least I still had you.”
She paused when the server returned and put down their drinks. Charlie stirred her coffee, but didn't pick it up, not trusting her shaking hands.
“Nate dying was painful enough. Then you left. After everything that happened that night between us, you just left.” She looked at him and he held her gaze waiting for her to finish.
“Do you have any idea how much courage it took for me to ask you what I did? Did you mean any of what you said to me? Or was it all just a lie? A move you used with all the girls.” She’d wondered that so many times over the years, but the shock on his face made her stop talking.
“I meant every damn word I said to you that night.” His voice held a fierceness she hadn't expected.
“Then why did you do it? Why did you break my heart and leave when I needed you the most?” Angry tears threatened and she blinked them back, determined not to break down.
“Nate’s death. I felt... shit.” He raked a hand over his short hair and grabbed his coffee, taking a sip. Charlie waited.
“I left because it was best for everyone.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? Best for who? You? It sure as hell wasn't best for me.”
Her cussing had shocked him. Too bad. She was pissed now. The anger she worked so hard in therapy to let go of came roaring back.
“Charlie, leaving wasn’t an easy decision. I thought I was doing the right thing. Maybe it wasn’t. I can't change it now, and nothing is going to bring Nate back.”
“No, it’s not. But why you left matters to me. You left me, your own family, my family who thought of you as another son. How you thought that was good for any of us makes no sense. If you meant anything you said that night, you would have stayed.”
“It wasn't that simple.”
“No? Seems pretty simple to me. You ran away.”
“You don’t understand.”
“No. I don’t. So, make me understand.”
When Donnie didn't answer she stood. “This is a waste of time. You came to apologize, and you did that. You can clear your conscience. Goodbye, Donnie.”
She half walked; half ran through the lobby.
“Charlie, wait!”
She heard him but didn’t stop until she was out on the street.
The tears spilled over, and she put on her sunglasses.
Damn him. She started walking. Twenty minutes later, she sat on a bench at Toronto’s Harborfront Centre, looking out over the rippling water of Lake Ontario.
The beautiful view calmed her, and she breathed in the fresh air as her tears dried.
It was just after nine. Definitely not too early to call Maddie.
“How could you?” she said by way of greeting.
“Oh, God. What happened?”
“You know what happened. You told him where I was, and you didn’t even warn me.”
“I’m sorry. I thought the two of you needed to talk. If I told you, you might have bailed.”
“You should have warned me. I was not ready for this. It was not your decision whether I talked to him or not.”
“I’ve just been so worried about you lately and... It doesn't matter. You’re right. I overstepped. I’m sorry. Truly.” Maddie’s voice was quiet.
Charlie sighed. She couldn’t stay mad at her best friend. It’s not like she had a lot of friends, and right now, she needed her more than ever.
“Well, it’s done now. For what it was worth.”
“What did he say?”
“He apologized.”
“That’s good, isn't it?”
“Not really. He still didn't explain why he left.” She sniffed.
“You sound upset.”
“Of course, I’m upset. It brought it all back. That night, him, Nate.” She blinked back more tears. “I’ve missed him, and I hate to admit that because he really hurt me.”
“I know. I’ve been by your side the past ten years. I know you’ve never forgotten him. You care about him. Donnie was as close to Nate as you were, and that’s not something that’s ever going to change. We’re all grown up now, Charlie. All of us. Perhaps it's time to finally let it go.”
Charlie closed her eyes. No one knew Nate better than Donnie. The two of them had been inseparable. She had forgiven him, but could she move past it? Look at him and not feel the physical pain in her heart?
Or the heat that flooded parts of my body that it had no business doing.
“It’s not that easy, Maddie.”