Chapter 2
Chapter
Two
“Turn to the side.” Wade’s voice was gentle in his correction.
Hope shivered, clenching her jaw as she crossed her arms, turned to face the wall, and looked over her shoulder at him.
That was what he wanted, she was sure of it.
But she’d been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t heard him the first time he’d said it.
She clenched her jaw and tried to push down the disappointment that ran through her at every snap of Wade’s camera.
Where was Angelica?
Hope had expected to see her here, to be taking photos with her. And she’d spent the first half of her photo session with Wade looking over her shoulder for an entirely different reason. Where was Angelica? Because she certainly wasn’t here, and no one had mentioned whether or not she’d be coming.
“Hope?” Wade’s voice reached her ears.
“Yeah?”
“I need you to face the other way now.”
“Oh. Sorry.” Her cheeks tinged with embarrassment. She twisted her body the other direction and plastered on the smile that she knew he was looking for.
Wade raised the camera in front of his face and snapped another photo of her.
“Do you know if Ange is coming today? For the photos we’re supposed to take together?”
Wade lowered the camera, a line forming in the center of his forehead. “No, she’s not coming. I thought you knew that.”
“I must have missed the email somewhere explaining it.” Hope bit her lip as she stared back at him. What was she asking this for? Of course Angelica wouldn’t want to be in the same room with her. There’d be no other reason she wasn’t here.
“There was a scheduling issue, and it was impossible to get the two of you in at the same time this season, so I’m just going to edit the photos together.”
“Right.” Hope stared down at her feet, hating that she was reacting like this.
She really needed to figure out how to control herself better.
But they’d avoided each other all summer, and she wasn’t quite ready to be smashed into a room with Angelica.
Then again, they needed to break the ice at some point, and Hope would prefer to do that sooner rather than later.
Everything in her life was pure chaos right now. And she’d just wanted the one consistent thing that would put her back on her feet, which was this damn photoshoot with Angelica. But that wasn’t going to happen now. Hope crossed her arms and looked straight up into Wade’s camera.
This photo shoot could end anytime now, and she’d be a happy camper.
“Hope?”
Fuck. Again.
“Yeah?” Hope really needed to pay more attention to what was happening in the room and stop dreaming about Angelica.
Not that she was actually dreaming. But the ball of nervous energy and anxiety building up in her stomach over seeing her again wasn’t helping the situation any. Hope clenched her jaw tightly.
“What made you go so short with your hair?” Wade switched out memory cards in the camera swiftly.
“Oh. Um…” Hope ran her fingers through her short hair, still loving the slight buzz she had in the back and the extra length she had on the top.
It’d been an impulsive decision toward the end of the summer, but damn, it wasn’t one that she regretted.
Not at all. “I thought it was time for a change.”
“Change?” Wade wrinkled his nose. “There’s more changed about you than just your hair.”
“What do you mean?” Hope immediately moved her thumb to her ring finger, feeling the empty space where the gold band used to rest against her skin.
She still wasn’t used to it not being there.
And there were days that she wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to it.
Then there were days when Rex ticked her off that she absolutely knew she would. It’d just be a matter of time.
“You’re different.” Wade put the camera down. “You’ve got like a shroud over you. Your smile seems forced in a way it hasn’t been before.”
“Oh.” Hope nodded slowly, sadness seeping into her bones. “Yeah, I know. Maybe someday I’ll get my light back.”
“I hope it’s soon.” Wade winked at her. “I miss it.”
“Me too.”
Wade gave her a pitying look, and she despised it.
“Are we done?” Hope asked. She needed the escape, to get out of here and find some sense of peace before she dove into filming.
“Yes.” Wade gave her another sad look.
“Thanks.” Hope walked away from the studio and down the small hall toward the dressing rooms. She slipped into the one that she’d been given and immediately stripped out of her clothes and got dressed in the outfit she’d shown up in.
The quiet in the room hit her at once. It was so still in there.
She’d never noticed that before. Leaning over the vanity counter, Hope dropped her chin to her chest and closed her eyes.
She breathed deeply. She’d thought that this break would have been more productive than it had.
But being here, she found herself rooted in the turmoil of what was coming next and the fact that her life was about to spin into chaos again.
Unfortunately, right when she’d found a calm, centered place.
“You ready, boss?” Lyric’s voice reached her ears, and Hope couldn’t stop the smile from lighting up her face.
God, it was so nice to see a friendly face, and Lyric was always going to be that for her.
“You didn’t bring Ange, did you?” Hope asked. She couldn’t stop herself before the question was out of her mouth. Wade had told her that Angelica wouldn’t be there, but there was still some measure of hope that she would show up, that perhaps she was just running late.
“No, she’s in Colorado for a few more days.”
“Oh.” The disappointment in her voice hit her ears before the embarrassment did.
She really shouldn’t be asking after Angelica.
They’d been right to put space between them during the break, while Hope had dealt with her divorce and custody and figuring out what exactly her life was going to look like moving forward, but it still stung. “I just thought…”
“That she’d be here since she has been the last two times?”
“Yeah.” Hope nodded slowly. “I guess I’ll see her soon.”
“I think there’s a production meeting at the end of the week, isn’t there?”
“Oh, maybe.” Hope sighed as she followed Lyric out of the room and down the hallway. She was half a step behind as they walked toward the car that Lyric always drove when they were in Los Angeles. “I haven’t looked at my calendar yet.”
She honestly hadn’t. She’d been so caught up in trying to arrange childcare and interviewing new nannies with Rex that she’d barely had time to look at her schedule and when she was supposed to be where. It was a miracle she’d made it to the photo shoot on time that day.
“How are you?” Lyric paused as she opened the front passenger door for Hope. “I haven’t had much of a chance to catch up with you.”
“Oh, I’m good.”
Lyric cocked her head to the side, studying Hope deeply.
She nodded once and then waited for Hope to slip into the car before shutting the door.
She walked around to the driver’s side and slid behind the wheel, but she didn’t start the engine.
Hope looked at her curiously until Lyric faced her.
Her gaze was intense, but it was filled with kindness and compassion.
“How are you? Really.”
Hope’s eyes watered instantly. Her nose stopped up. God, she hated this. She’d thought she’d gotten past this in the last few months, but having Lyric ask her this now, ask her with such openness and seeming to really want an honest answer—it was too much.
“Hope.” Lyric whispered her name as she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Hope’s shoulders and tugged her in for a hug.
Hope breathed in Lyric’s scent. She closed her eyes and rested on the woman as much as she could, needing the touch and the presence and the communication and everything that Lyric gave her.
She’d had no one through this. She was barely talking to Rachel.
They’d managed to make it through the family Christmas by avoiding each other, but the whole family kept telling Hope that she and Rachel needed to figure their shit out.
But she wasn’t ready for that.
And she didn’t feel like she had done anything against Rachel.
Hope breathed in deeply and backed away, putting space between them. “It’s been hard.”
“I can only imagine,” Lyric said, giving Hope a small smile. “Talk to me about it. I promise, whatever’s said in the car stays in the car.”
Laughing lightly at that, Hope sat back in her seat and put her belt in place. “My life has been a shitshow since we wrapped. Probably just before then, if I’m being honest.”
“And? What happened?”
“Rex filed for divorce.” Hope frowned. “He served me when I was doing press with Angelica, so she was right there when the server handed it to me.”
“Oh my God. Asshole.” Lyric smiled as she looked over at Hope.
Hope grinned. God, she’d needed a friend so much.
Why hadn’t she called Lyric before now? Right.
Because she was undeniably intertwined with Angelica, and to talk to Lyric meant Hope would have to think about that part of her life which was also a disaster.
She’d broken up with Angelica to save her marriage only for it to fall apart moments later. She’d been too late.
It was her own choices that had gotten Hope here, but that didn’t mean that it hurt any less or more than if it’d been out of her control.
“He brought the nanny to the premiere.”
“He did not!” Lyric’s eyes widened instantly as she pulled out onto the road.
“He did.” Hope whimpered. “God, that was awful. Talk about a rebound. It lasted maybe two months before he put an end to it, which devastated Eva.” Hope sighed.
“We’ve both screwed up so much with her lately.
We’re trying to do better now, but this is a whole new life we’re navigating, and it’s hard.
I haven’t been single since I was in my twenties and now I’m nearly forty! ”
Lyric shook her head. “If you say you’re old, I’ll have to remind you most emphatically that you’re not.”
“Ha, not old, but certainly getting older.” Hope groaned and ran her fingers through her hair. She shook her head and settled into her seat more fully. “I wish I’d done so many things differently.”
“Like what?”
“So many things.” Hope wasn’t about to drop those bombs on Lyric. Some things did need to remain a secret. At least for a while longer until she got her feet under her and figured out how her relationship with Angelica was going to play out. Hope breathed slowly. “How’s…Ange?”
Lyric’s lips twitched, much in the way Hope had seen Angelica’s do when she was trying to hide her smile, but then she flicked her gaze to Hope and focused back on the road. “She’s doing okay, I think. She’s spent a lot of time in Colorado this year.”
“Didn’t she do that last break?”
“Yeah. I think she likes it there.” Lyric’s lips pulled tight. “But I wasn’t able to spend as much time with her this break as before. I was stuck here doing things she needed me to do.”
“Ah.” Hope rubbed her hands together in her lap. She really should stop asking about Angelica. It was just putting more hurt in her heart than there was before. “This season is going to be interesting to film. Will you be around for it?”
“Wouldn’t miss it!” Lyric grinned fully. “Have you and Rex talked about what’ll happen?”
“Not yet. But we probably need to.” Hope breathed in and out slowly.
She’d been avoiding that topic, because it wasn’t the only conversation she had to have.
She needed to talk to Angelica about it as much as she needed to talk to Rex.
Everything was so tangled up, and while she’d spent the break untangling some of it, it was still in a messy knot.
“I’m excited to go to Maine. I’ve never been there before.”
“Same. I’ve heard it’s beautiful.”
Hope continued the conversation, keeping it light and at surface level. She was glad that she’d found someone to at least share her pain with, at least the pain that she could share. When it came to Angelica, well, no one could know about that. This was a secret she was determined to keep.