No Love Like Yours (Orlinda Valley #2)

1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Jamison

T here’s nothing good about being a single dad with a five-year-old except for the ability to piss in my own bathroom without a wife nagging me to put the seat down, though, I’d do anything—even put the seat down every time—if I could hear Carly’s nagging just once more.

After coming out of the bathroom, I put on my shorts and walked slowly to the kitchen, carefully navigating through shoes and toys on the floor.

“Dammit.” A loud squeak scared the shit out of me. I kicked the dog’s toy out of the way and woke up its owner—my seventy-five-pound pile of shaggy white fur. She picked up her squeaky toy and ran around my feet, ready to play.

“Seriously, Becca? The sun isn’t even up yet.” I patted her on her fuzzy head and attempted to step around her large body.

Her prancing around made getting to the coffee pot difficult. Luckily, I’d remembered to set it up and put it on a timer before I went to bed last night, so the coffee was waiting for me—one less thing to worry about in the morning. Nothing was as important as my first cup of coffee—well, there was something, but I hadn’t had the opportunity for that in two years.

I finally danced around Becca, fixed my cup of life, and tipped it up. I leaned on the sliding door and could feel the caffeine make its way into my bloodstream and work its magic.

“Out you go, girl.” Becca bounded out the door and ran around in circles, looking for that perfect place to relieve herself.

I shook my head and trudged into the living room to watch the local news and get my mind focused for the day.

I fell on the couch and glanced around the living room. Blankets and dirty clothes cluttered the area. The two overfilled laundry baskets were still in the corner of the room where I left them two days ago, and Becca’s fur blew around like tumbleweeds.

This house was a wreck. Keeping up with work, my five-year-old, the dog, and the house had seemed simple when Carly was alive. She was perfect at everything. But now that she was gone, there doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to get food on the table, let alone all the other things a parent needed to do to keep his child from looking homeless and neglected.

It’d been two years since she died. Two years of birthdays and Christmases missed. The good thing about time is that the pain you feel initially slowly dissipates and becomes something you can deal with. Yes, things get easier, but sometimes, I feel like a hamster in a hamster wheel. Always running and working hard, yet getting nowhere.

I watched the news for a bit. It was going to be a dreary day—fitting. It might rain, or it might not. To be a weatherman and be able to be wrong half the time. How awesome would that be! I sighed deeply, scrubbed the sleep from my face, and finished my coffee. I needed to hop in the shower and look more presentable before my family arrived.

A hot shower always seemed to wash away the doubt that filled my gut, and thankfully for me, it did the same today. I felt better as I put on jeans and a blue button-down shirt, with a white T-shirt underneath. I styled my hair with gel and brushed it back.

“Morning, Daddy.” Darcie, my beautiful five-year-old daughter, walked into my room with her stuffed dolphin under her arm. Her auburn hair looked like a bird had taken up residence in it during the night.

My heart felt complete as soon as her sweet little voice hit my ears. “Morning, princess.” I swept her into a bear hug and buried my face in her hair. She smelled like strawberry baby shampoo and lavender soap. Despite the shitty direction my life had taken, and the choices I never thought I’d have to make alone over the past two years without Carly, Darcie was the light at the end of the long, dark tunnel. My red-haired, green-eyed princess, whose eyes were shining with excitement and energy all the time, so much like her momma—was my reason for living. It was like someone knew I would need a ray of sunshine in my life and dropped her down from heaven.

“How did you sleep?” I whispered and dotted her face with kisses.

“Good. Daddy. Your face tickles,” she squealed.

I chuckled and pulled away. “You hungry?”

“Yes, I’m hungry.” She placed her palms on my face and held me close. “You look handsome today, Daddy,” she said as she placed a kiss on my cheek. Her smile was wide and showed the hole where she lost her first tooth on Monday.

“Well, thank you, princess. You look absolutely beautiful yourself.” I answered her as I danced her around the room, down the steps, and into the kitchen where my mother stood over the stove cooking eggs.

“Well, morning, Mom,” I said as Darcie and I wrapped her in a hug. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Yeah, well, you were too preoccupied with this little darlin’ here.” Mom wrapped Darcie in a hug. “I was looking forward to getting kisses from Grammy’s girl.”

Darcie squeezed her grandmother tight and wiggled free from her grasp, and my mother’s face became serious. “Jamison, baby, how are you doing?” She placed her hand on my cheek.

“Mom, I’m thirty-five.” I knew that look. Her focused and serious look. I didn’t want to deal with it right now. I wrapped her in a hug. “And your oldest. Technically, Rowan’s the baby, then Bryson. In case you forgot.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t get to see Rowan every week. He’s out saving the country and only needs me when his money’s running low. Bryson and Darlene have each other, but you and Darcie need me.” She pulled back. “Especially today.” Her voice became soft and filled with emotion.

“I’m okay, Mom,” I told her. I stared out the window at the yard and the weeping willow I planted after Carly’s death. Carly loved weeping willows. I proposed to her underneath one by the Red River and planted this one in her memory. At the time, it was a great metaphor.

My heart constricted, but I didn’t experience the normal pit opening and wanting to swallow me whole like I did this day last year. I was okay, or I had to be. A smile grew on my face. “I’m good, Mom. Better than last year.”

“And that’s how grief works. It slowly goes away. It may never totally be gone, but it becomes something you learn to deal with.” She went back to the stove. “Now let’s eat.”

“Come on, Darce. Time to eat.” I nudged her with my foot. She was lying on the floor, using the dog as a pillow. “Darce, honey, Becca’s not a bed.” Darcie laid on the dog all the time. Becca was such a sweet and calm soul and never seemed to mind. Her eyes were enormous as she just lay there, totally okay with being a jungle gym as long as she was getting the attention she desired. I rubbed the dog’s head.

“Fine.” Darcie patted Becca and gave her a peck on the face, then plopped in her chair as my mom placed scrambled eggs and toast on a plate in front of her.

“Daddy, are those my flowers for Mommy?” Darcie pointed to the pot of lilies I’d brought home last night.

“Yeah, honey. We’re going to plant them under the tree right next to the ones we planted last year, as soon as we’re finished with breakfast.”

“Those are Mommy’s favorites, right?”

A small lump formed in my throat. I took a sip of coffee to wash it down. “Yes, princess. I thought you’d like to make it a tradition to plant lilies around mommy’s tree.”

Darcie hopped into my lap and wrapped her little arms around me.

I didn’t even see her leave her chair, but love radiated from her and calmed my aching heart.

“That would be great, Daddy. Do you miss Mommy? I miss Mommy. I’m like her, right?” Her voice was small and muted, and my throat tightened.

I swallowed and fought to control my feelings. I flattened her curls and looked into her green eyes. Today, they were green with gold specks. Like a meadow in the fall. “You are so much like her, princess. You have her hair and her beautiful eyes.”

She smiled a tight smile and caressed my cheek. Carly used to do that same gesture to help calm me, and it still worked.

The front door opened. “Morning, everyone.”

“Uncle Bryson’s here,” I told Darcie as I gave her a kiss, and she hopped off my lap.

“Uncle Bryson,” she squealed as she ran off to greet her aunt and uncle.

“Hey there, you.” He lifted her, spun her around, then placed her back on the floor.

Bryson, his wife, Darlene, and their five-year-old son, James, were here to help plant Carly’s lily. Mom greeted them and took the kids from the room.

“Morning, Jamison,” Darlene said as she wrapped me in a hug and placed a kiss on my cheek.

“How you doin, bro?” Bryson asked.

“I’m okay,” I answered as we gave each other a hug and a firm pat on the back.

Darlene looked me in the eye. “You sure?”

“I’m doing good.” I nodded and again did a check of my feelings. “I am. I still miss Carly like crazy, but I’m doing better than I was this time last year.”

“Good. Carly would want that,” Darlene said.

“Yeah, she would,” Bryson said as he fixed a cup of coffee. We settled at the table, and I went back to eating my breakfast.

“Have you gone for your fittings yet for Kora and Kai’s wedding?” Darlene asked me.

I popped an eyebrow. “It’s only July. We have until October.”

Bryson slapped his hand on the table and leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed. “That’s what I told her. We have plenty of time.”

“Right?” I agreed. “What’s the hurry?”

Darlene rolled her eyes. “I was hoping you’d see the importance of it, Jamison.” She wiped her hand in the air. “It doesn’t matter. You should both grab Lance and get it done soon. It’s never too early. The wedding will be here before you know it.”

Thankfully, the conversation was interrupted by James running back into the room with Darcie close behind, and a smile filled my face.

Darcie had on a light green dress, her plastic princess shoes, and her hair was back in a ponytail. She was obsessed with everything princess, and I loved it when she dressed in her princess shoes. I hoped she stayed that young and innocent forever, but I knew that was wishful thinking.

“Ready, Daddy?” she asked.

“Absolutely, princess.”

I picked up the lily, and we filed out the back door into the yard by the willow tree.

I kneeled on the grass, and Darcie joined me. “Why don’t you do this?” I handed her the small spade.

Her eyes went wide, and she nodded. I helped her dig a hole next to the lily we planted last year. One lily every year.

“There,” she said as she patted the dirt down. “A perfect flower for my perfect mommy.”

I sat on the bench under the tree and pulled Darcie into my lap, her little hand in mine. “It’s beautiful under here, Daddy.”

“Yes, it is, princess. Your mommy would have loved this tree.” The long branches touched the ground in spots. One day, it would be tall enough so the branches would surround the bench, providing shade during the heat and humidity of the summer. A perfect place to relax and for Darcie to remember a mother who passed away too soon.

We were quiet for a bit, and Darcie laid her head on my shoulder. I looked up, and Bryson gave me a tight-lipped smile.

My family was great. They never left my side those first days after I got the news that Carly had been involved in a ten-car pile-up on the interstate. I remember that day like it was yesterday. She had a day off and was spending it with her parents. If there was a silver lining at all, it was that Darcie was supposed to be there, but she woke up with a fever. My mom came over to watch her so Carly could still go spend some much-needed time with her parents. If it wasn’t for her fever, Darcie would have been in the car as well.

I squeezed my eyes tight against the constriction of my heart. Losing Carly was awful, but if I had lost them both. . .

I wrapped my arms around Darcie in a tight hug. She was my life now. I needed to do everything in my power to make sure she didn’t feel like she was missing out, but I also needed to make sure I took care of myself.

“Jamison.” My mom’s hand was on my shoulder.

I took a deep breath. “I’m good.” I unwrapped Darcie and kissed her on the cheek. She jumped off my lap, and she and James ran across the yard with Becca. To be a child and be able to forget things so easily.

Tears sprang to my eyes, and I wiped hard at my cheeks. “There are some days everything goes perfectly, and I feel fine, and there are other days I get so overwhelmed and feel like I’m failing her.”

“Failing her, how?” my mom asked. “Keeping a roof over Darcie’s head, putting money away for her future, making sure she’s fed and clothed? Loving her?” My mom pulled me to my feet. “I think you’re doing an amazing job,” she added quietly.

I watched Darcie across the yard. James laughed, and her face shone with excitement. A smile crept across my face. She was the most perfect thing ever. I blinked away the blurriness. “She’s so much like Carly.”

“Yes, she is,” commented Darlene. She and Bryson had been standing close by. “She has Carly’s ability to make everyone feel important and needed. She never meets a stranger.”

“That’s the truth,” agreed Bryson. “You should probably wish she was a little shyer. The guys are going to love her.”

I shot him a look I wished lasers would have come out of. “Don’t need to hear that.”

Bryson chuckled.

My mom wrapped her arm around my waist. “She’ll have James to make sure the guys are always respectful.”

We laughed as we watched Darcie pull Becca’s Frisbee from James’s grasp. They had a minor scuffle, and Darcie came out as the clear winner.

“But I don’t think she’ll have any trouble defending herself,” Darlene chuckled.

We left the kids in the backyard, playing with Becca, and went into the house. The unorganized chaos that was my life hit me. Shit was everywhere.

“It’s a good thing Darcie thinks I’m amazing. Maybe she won’t realize I suck at keeping up with housework.” I didn’t mean to say that out loud, and the raised brows I got in return didn’t make it better. “Look, I know I’m doing the best I can, but I’m just not Carly, and I know I’m not doing all the things right. Hell, I can’t even keep up with the laundry.”

“Bro,” Bryson held his hands up in front of him and made sure he had my attention. “Maybe you should get a sexy nanny. She could clean up your mess, help with Darcie when you’re working, and when Darcie starts kindergarten, she can help you with anything else you may need.” He wiggled his brows and nodded his head.

I didn’t have a chance to respond before Darlene whacked him hard and square in his gut. He doubled over and gasped for breath.

“Serves you right.” Darlene turned toward me. “I’m sorry your brother’s a pig. I’m sure that’s not something you want to think of today, of all days.”

Bryson grimaced. “I don’t know why you’ve got your panties . . .”

“Don’t you dare finish that statement, Bryson Allan McKendry.”

“The whole name. You’re up shit’s creek, bro.” I chuckled.

“Boys, enough.” Mom held up her hands. “I agree with Bryson.”

“Good choice, Mom.” Bryson crossed his arms. “You think Jamison needs a hot nanny, too?”

“Mom?” Where was she going with this? I wasn’t sure I could deal with her usual sarcasm.

“No, Bryson, he doesn’t need a hot nanny, not yet anyway, though a little nookie every now and then wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”

I glared at her, which didn’t bother her at all, and she waved off my irritation. “But a little extra help wouldn’t be so bad.” She leaned on the counter and pointed her finger at me. “You need help around here, and I’ve been thinking. I want to help you, but I can’t do much more than one day a week. Have you ever thought of hiring someone to come in and clean?”

Bryson wiggled his eyebrows and dodged another swipe from Darlene.

“I’m being serious,” my mother continued. “There are plenty of businesses that clean and do your laundry, even if it’s only one day a week. They could come on Tuesdays when you aren’t home.”

She really wants me to get a maid? Let a stranger poke around in my belongings? “Umm, I don’t know if that’s for me. I don’t want a stranger folding my underwear.”

She chuckled and turned back to loading the dishwasher. “Remember, I’m heading down to Florida soon with the girls, and I’ll probably be staying longer with my brother. I would like to know that when I leave, someone will be here to help you out.”

Bryson leaned against the counter, his arms crossed, with a shit-eating grin on his face.

I walked away from him. I needed more caffeine. Dealing with this family was a bit much. “Fine, Mom. Maybe I’ll look into it.” I turned and took a sip of my coffee.

“Thank you, baby. That’s all I ask.” She again patted my cheek and kissed it. “And Bryson, we don’t need any more unnecessary suggestions from you,” she added as she turned back to the dishes.

Bryson didn’t waste any time. He wiggled his brows, made an obscene gesture with his fist next to his cheek, and earned another smack from Darlene.

I loved my sister-in-law.

“Tonya, have you talked to Kaye today?” Darlene asked as she got comfortable on a stool at the counter.

“Not yet. Why?”

“I heard from Kora that Rose is picking up Lilly from the airport today. She’s coming home.”

My Mom turned toward Darlene; her eyes huge.

“Lilly hasn’t been home since Dad’s funeral, has she?” The shock in Bryson’s voice reflected the shock on Mom’s face.

“No, she hasn’t,” my mom said with a head shake. “Wonder what brings her back now?”

“Lance told me her divorce was finalized months ago,” I said. “But she was going to try to make a go of it in New York.” Lilly was the daughter of Kaye, one of my mom’s closest friends. We all grew up together. Her brother, Lance, is my best friend.

I leaned heavily against the counter. Lilly was coming home. I couldn’t ignore the gallop of my pulse as blood coursed through my system. Memories of over a decade ago—before Carly—filled my mind.

“Alright, everyone, I’ve gotta go. I have a meeting with the book club.” My mom interrupted my thoughts as she gave me a hard hug.

“You mean the gossip channel,” Bryson replied as he hugged her.

“Whatever,” Mom said, brushing away his comment.

“Thanks for everything, Mom, and don’t forget I’m going out tonight,” I said.

“You mean your weekly meeting with the guys for drinks at the pub while talking about the upcoming football season?” she asked as she squeezed me tight.

“Yep, that’s exactly what I meant.”

“It’s Friday night. Of course, I know that.” She hugged Bryson and Darlene. “And if you two want to bring James to my house, too, I’ll have a sleepover, and y’all can get the night off.”

“That sounds wonderful, Tonya. I think we’ll take you up on the offer,” Darlene said.

“Good.” Tonya grinned. “Drop my grandbabies by the salon this afternoon. We’ll play with the goats and chickens at Kora’s before we eat pizza at my house.

“Thanks, Mama. You’re the best,” Bryson said as he squeezed her.

“Tonya, don’t say anything to Kaye about Lilly. It might be a surprise.” Darlene cocked her head. We all knew keeping a secret was not my mother’s talent.

“I promise I won’t.” She swiped her hand through the air. “Now, you three drop these kiddos at the salon today and take the rest of the night off. Go out and have fun.”