3. Chapter 3
Chapter 3
Lilly
“Y ou’re just in time.” My mother gestured to the stools at the counter and the chocolate chip cookies sitting on a cooling rack, fresh from the oven. If the greeting we just received didn’t make me glad to be home, Momma’s baking sure did.
Lance placed Madeline on one of the stools by the counter while my mother poured her a glass of milk. “Have a few cookies, sweet girl. They’re Gramma’s secret recipe.”
Jamison made eye contact with me and gestured with the coffee pot toward a mug.
I gave a nod, and as soon as he turned away, my eyes wandered from his broad shoulders, down his wide back, to his fine-looking ass in those jeans. My brows popped. Yes, he was as fit as I remembered.
Jamison McKendry was my lifelong crush and the first man to ever break my heart. He and his girlfriend Carly had been dating for a while when he announced their engagement, and I shouldn’t have been surprised. I never had a chance to tell him my feelings. As far as I could tell, he only saw me as his best friend’s little sister—a real relationship between us was impossible. I was only Lilly-Pad to him and nothing else—at least once he had met Carly.
The summer before Carly, though, I truly believed I meant something.
He placed my mug in front of me along with half and half, and my mind flew back to the present. Here Jamison was in front of me. He’s a single father, and I’m a divorced mother. Anything was possible.
I waved off the sugar. With the cookies I planned to eat, I wouldn’t need the extra sweetness. “Thank you.” His eyes were the same blue that made my heart stutter years ago, and yes, it stuttered again. I switched my attention to the pile of cookies in front of me, and my daughter next to me. “I better grab a couple before you eat every last one, squirt.”
Madeline smiled with her mouth full. I gave her a peck on her nose, then ate my cookie and drank my coffee.
Jamison grabbed a handful. “I gotta go and make sure Mom didn’t forget anything. Darcie and James are having a slumber party with her.” He picked up his travel coffee mug. “Lilly, I know you just got in, but maybe you should tag along tonight. Come to the pub with us.”
“Sure, sis. It’ll be fun. We haven’t hung out for a damn—“ Lance cleared his throat when Madeline giggled. “A long time.”
I honestly don’t remember ever hanging out with Lance and Jamison at the same time. I was under twenty-one when they were going to bars, and by the time I was finally old enough to drink legally, I was with Anthony in New York. I shrugged. Going out might be fun, but I was exhausted. “I don’t know, y’all. It’s been a long day, and we just got in.”
“Think about it. It’s still early,” Jamison said as he brushed his hand against my shoulder.
I knew he didn’t mean it as anything but a friendly gesture, but no one told my heart. It fluttered and flipped madly in my chest. Get a grip. You haven’t even been home an hour yet and you’re already swooning. And he’s Jamison.
I focused on my coffee to get my brain off the warmth of his touch, which still lingered on my shoulder and sent my mind to the past.
“Think about it, sis. It would be fun. Let me know if you change your mind. I’ll stop back by and pick you up.” Lance kissed my cheek and messed up Madeline’s hair as he followed Jamison out the door.
My mom started cleaning the kitchen, and I finished my coffee.
“I’ll tell you what.” She leaned against the counter and brushed a lock of thick hair from Madeline’s face. “Charles and I will keep this little princess here for the next couple hours, pamper her, get to know her, and you go out.”
My mom was the best. She was always willing to offer a shoulder to cry on, and the space needed to figure your shit out. And God knows I had a lot of shit to figure out. “Thanks, Mom. Rose asked me to go out also. Maybe I will once I get settled and cleaned up a bit.” Adult time with no worry of needing to get home before Anthony got angry would be a much-needed change of pace. I lifted Madeline’s chin. “Whatcha think, squirt? You good with staying here with Gramma and Grandpa, and I’ll go out for a little while with Uncle Lance and Rose?”
“Of course, Mommy. Gramma can do my nails and braid my hair, and we can eat more cookies and see you later.” Madeline gave me a smile, slipped off her stool, and walked into the living room. Her curiosity got the best of her.
My heart lifted. My sweet daughter could always make the best of every situation. Thank goodness.
“Why don’t you give her a quick tour and get settled? You can either share your room or use Lance’s as well. If you feel like talking later tonight, you and I can stay up late, and you can explain to me what brought you home without letting me know you were coming.”
“Mom,” I began as guilt sliced through my gut. “I’m sorry.”
“Nope. Don’t be sorry,” she said, holding up her hand, which forced me to stop the onslaught of apologies I planned to spew her way. “I’m just glad you’re finally done with that sorry ass, and super glad you’re here and finally home where you and our beautiful girl belong.”
Leave it to my mother to not beat around the bush. “I love you, Mom.”
“I know, now get.”
I knew better than to argue, so I left the kitchen to find my curious little four-year-old.
“Look, Mommy. It’s us.” Madeline was sitting on the couch with a frame in her hands.
I looked over her shoulder. It was the picture I sent Mom and Charles this past Christmas. It was Madeline and me in front of the Rockefeller Christmas tree. Gianna took it.
I’d had to finalize some things with my lawyer that day, and Gianna had watched Madeline for the morning. We met for a late lunch, then walked around the city admiring the lights and the store windows all decorated for the holiday.
My heart lurched. I was going to miss Gianna and the bustle of the city. I needed to make sure to keep in touch with her. She was very important to us and had been my rock when I needed someone to confide in or a shoulder to cry on. When the divorce was final, she took us in and gave us a place to live. I would have been lost without her.
“Yeah, baby. It is us. That was a fun day.” I placed a kiss on her head and pulled out my phone. “Why don’t we take a selfie and send it to Gianna, so she knows we made it okay.”
“Good idea, Mommy.”
Madeline touched her head to mine, and I took the picture and sent it with a quick note saying we made it. “There. Now she won’t be worried.” I pocketed my phone as I stood. “Let’s take our suitcases to my bedroom and get cleaned up.”
“Your room?” Madeline asked. Her voice went up in tone, and her eyes became huge.
“Yep. The very one I lived in until I left home.” I led her up the stairs.
“Yay.” Her voice filled with joy as she bounded up the steps. “Let me try to find your room, Mommy. Don’t tell me.”
I stopped at the top of the steps and watched as she skipped down the hall, opened each door, and gaped into each room. She was almost five and had never been inside my childhood home. That was so wrong. I shook my head and sighed deeply. My ten-year marriage to a man who I now know never loved me, just loved being in charge of a small-town girl, had kept me from my family and a life I loved.
“This is your room, Mommy. I know it.” Madeline ran into the last room on the left, and yes, she was right. I stepped in behind her and was immediately thrown back to my perfect life before marriage. Before Anthony.
Yes, my mother had changed my room since I left, taken out all my belongings and high school and college decorations. It was more adult-looking and more adult-me, but there were still some touches of growing up. A picture of a river with Lily of the Valley growing alongside—the flower I was named for. There was a painting, painted by Rose. She was an artist and painted all of us a picture of a bouquet in a vase. A rose, a lily, a chrysanthemum, and a daisy. One representing my four best friends. Me, Rose, Kristy, and Kimber—the flower sisters.
My eyes swam with tears. It had been so long since we had all been together. Kimber was married, and her husband was in the Army. Kristy was still here, in town, and like me, she was divorced. Her marriage didn’t last long at all, and now she dated and stomped all over the male hearts of Orlinda Valley.
I opened the drawer of my desk and pulled out my photo album from days long gone. Pictures of high school and college years. “Here, squirt. Why don’t you look at this and see if you can pick out pictures of Mommy, Uncle Lance, and Gramma while I unpack and get us settled.”
Madeline eagerly jumped on the bed and sat cross-legged as she flipped the pages of the album. Her giggles and laughter filled the room and again helped me relax.
It didn’t take long to unpack our suitcases. I would have to do some shopping, and soon. I jumped in the shower adjacent to the bedroom while Madeline played on my phone, then I got her washed up as well.
“I feel better already. How about you?” I asked as I brushed her hair.
She nodded. “Yep, and I’m ready to have Grandma braid my hair.”
We headed downstairs and to the kitchen with Madeline leading the way. She had a bounce to her step, which I hadn’t noticed in a while and a smile filled my face. Thank God, I brought her home.
The smell of cooking meat permeated the air, and my stomach grumbled. Ham steaks, homemade macaroni and cheese, and broccoli greeted us for dinner.
“Yum, my favorites,” Madeline exclaimed as she climbed into a seat at the table.
“Mine too.” I agreed. “It smells delicious, Mom.” I filled Madeline’s plate, then did the same with mine. I took a large bite of the macaroni and cheese. This was my favorite side dish growing up. My mom made the best macaroni and cheese. Just enough cheese, perfectly gooey, and so delicious. As I chewed, the flavors exploded over my tongue. “This is still the best macaroni and cheese, Mom.”
“Thank you.”
Charles joined us at the table. “It is so good having you two at our table.” He said as he filled his plate.
“I love your house, Grandpa. And this is so yummy,” Madeline said between bites. She didn’t wait for any of us to comment as she continued to shovel forkfuls of food into her mouth.
“Lilly, have you not fed her all day?” Charles asked with laughter in his voice.
I shrugged, too into my meal to stop chewing and use words. I watched Madeline take in the room around her as she ate. Her eyes darted to every corner and every space. The kitchen was roomy, and the table sat in a little breakfast nook. Madeline and I sat by the wall, and she could see the entire kitchen from there.
There was a desk in the corner with a picture frame on it. The picture was filled with a large group of people. “Who are they?” Madeline asked.
This was one of my favorite pictures. It was taken the last time I was home, five years ago. It was a quick overnight visit. “Those are Gramma’s and Grandpa’s friends and their families. They’re our extended family.”
Madeline wrinkled her brow.
“Extended family are people who Uncle Lance and I grew up with and are as close to us as real family.” I picked up the photo and pointed at each person. “There’s Gramma and Grandpa, and there’s Tonya, Ruth, and Diane. Gramma’s oldest friends.”
“These are all their children and husbands. You know Gramma, Grandpa, and Uncle Lance.” I pointed out. “This is Rose, who picked us up at the airport, and her husband, Nolan, and their oldest son. You’ll meet him soon. And this is Bryson and his wife, Darlene.”
Madeline squinted as she studied the picture harder. Her face lit up, and she pointed. “And this is Jamison. I met him today.”
Jamison was standing behind me, next to Carly. Carly was a beauty, and even though I never wanted to like her, you couldn’t help but love her, and she did make him happy. You could see it in the way his eyes shone, and he stood with his arm protectively around her. When my mom told me about her death two years ago, my heart broke for him. “Yep, you did, little one.”
“He’s really handsome. Don’t you think so, Mommy?”
I wanted to say, Oh, hell yeah, honey. That’s exactly what Mommy thinks and always has. But that would probably not be a good choice of words. Instead, I said, “Yep, he is. He’s Uncle Lance’s best friend and like a big brother to me.”
A big brother I spent my entire high school and college years fantasizing about, and it seemed like my body was still reacting to him.