6. Losing Your Cool
CHAPTER 6
Losing Your Cool
H eath had to stop beside his car and breathe. He put his hands on the hood and dropped his head.
He had a daughter.
A bright, beautiful ray of sunshine.
So much like her mom, it took his breath away.
Smart and strong.
He loved her so much already. He wasn’t sure what would happen if she was ripped from his life again.
Losing Addy had been horrific. Losing her again, along with losing Nina, was unthinkable. He’d never survive the pain.
“You’re a lucky man, Heath Wilcox.”
He lifted his head to find Nimii watching him. He’d forgotten she was there. “I am.”
That brought a smile to her lips. “I’m going to assume you’re a genuine man and that what I saw in there wasn’t an act. If it was, you’d better start praying to whatever gods you believe in.”
She was in her car before he could even formulate a response, but her threat had him smiling. He was so damn glad Addy hadn’t been alone. Nimii was the exact kind of warrior she would have needed.
Heath got in his car and then realized it was long past the time for Phail General to close. That was the only address he had in town. He pulled out his phone to text Troy. I’m in town. Need a place to stay.
It was only seconds before he got an answer. We heard. The farmhouse is close. See you soon .
He plugged in the address Troy sent, and followed his GPS. The drive was short, and soon he was pulling into the driveway of a welcoming farmhouse, all lit up.
It shouldn’t have surprised him that Troy knew he was in town, but it did. He’d only spoken with Addy and Lia before arriving at her house. The doctor hadn’t known he was Nina’s father. If small towns were like the military, gossip spread like smoke.
He parked his SUV and grabbed his duffel. He’d brought enough for a few days but would need to go back to Boston soon to grab more.
And to confront his parents.
He shoved that to the side and started up the farmhouse stairs. The door opened, and Sean Falcone crossed the porch to greet him. No handshakes for Sean. His friend crushed him in a hug. “Welcome.”
Troy, Levi, and Marcus came out next, and he had to swallow back the emotion. Again. He knew that only Sean actually lived in this house, but they’d all come.
Troy slapped him on the back. “I bet you could use a beer.”
He nodded and followed the group to the kitchen, where they all sank into chairs around the large kitchen table that would easily accommodate double the number.
Troy handed him a beer, and they all clinked glasses. Just like in the video. Had that only been yesterday? His entire world had shifted in less than twenty-four hours.
Figuring if they’d known he was in town, they knew why, so he didn’t avoid the topic. “I’ve got a daughter.”
They all nodded solemnly and waited.
He took a sip of the beer. “She’s amazing. She’s twelve, and I missed her whole fucking life until now. I can never get that time back with her.”
The anger roared through him again, but he breathed it out. “You guys must know her better than I do, and that pisses me off.”
Marcus Ramirez, their military leader and current Phail deputy, leaned his elbows on the table. “Did Addison keep the baby from you?”
He heaved out a sigh. “No. She tried contacting me just as I tried contacting her. But it appears my father had someone rig my phone so that her number doesn’t work. Acts like it works, but the calls to her number don’t go out and they don’t show up coming in. Same with texts and emails.”
Wanting to beat the shit out of something, he shoved to his feet and paced around the room. “What kind of jerk does that? What kind of asshole cuts a grandchild out of their life? All because Addy was a foster kid and Ojibwe. They couldn’t see past any of that to see that she’s amazing. She had nothing. Nothing except what she’d saved up during high school. If she hadn’t been so smart and determined, their lives would have sucked. But she is, and Nina is incredible. She’s so much like her mom. And I missed twelve years of her life because I was born into a family of privileged snobs. They robbed me of so damn much. And worse, they robbed Addy and Nina of security. I would have done anything for them. They would have been safe and known they were loved. She wouldn’t have had to work herself to the bone just to get by. She didn’t say it out loud, but she had to have avoided the doctors during pregnancy because of the cost. Now, her asthma is so much worse and she has some kind of heart condition. She says it’s healed, but I don’t know. She could have died. She could have died and I would never have known.”
He doubted he’d ever said so much in one speech in his entire life. His chest was heaving, and he slammed his hands onto the counter and tried to find his breath.
Was this how Addy felt during an asthma attack? And she had a weak heart on top of it. All because he hadn’t been there to support her.
When he had himself mostly together, Sean’s hands landed on his shoulders, and he squeezed him into another hug. Heath nearly lost it right there, but more deep breaths helped.
“I’m sorry, man. Everything about that sucks.”
He let Sean direct him back to the table. Troy leaned forward. “I know it’s no consolation, but Addison is a strong, kickass woman, and she’s raised an amazing kid. She figured it out and has made a damn good life for the two of them.”
Heath nodded. “They’re amazing. The two of them are such a unit. Fiercely protective of each other.” And so damn beautiful, it cracked his heart.
“How did Nina take the news?” Marcus asked.
Heath huffed out a laugh. “Probably better than any of us. She said she’d always wanted to hate me because of what I hadn’t done for her mother, for not being there. But they believed me. They both believed me.” Which was a miracle he wasn’t sure he deserved.
He blew out a breath. “They’re willing to let me into their lives. They’re willing to give me a chance, and I’m not screwing it up. I’m taking them to lunch tomorrow.”
Troy grinned. “You’ll have to go to the No Fail Diner. My cousin Ginny owns it.”
Ginny. “Your cousin is Nimii’s partner?”
Troy nodded. “That’s how we knew you were here. Nimii recognized your name from something Ginny had told her about our team. She texted Ginny the basics so Ginny could text me, and we’d be prepared.”
Heath nodded. At least someone had gotten the chance to be prepared. He shoved up off the chair and started to pace again.
After a couple of rounds, Levi stood up and slapped him on the back. “Come with me.”
He nodded and followed Oz to the entry, where they put on their boots and jackets. Instead of heading to the cars, Levi struck out across the yard. Fields stretched out to the back, but his friend headed to a fence and climbed over. Heath followed suit.
The night was dark, but the skim of snow brightened everything enough for him to see several greenhouses that were made entirely of old windows and doors. A very cool setup, but he didn’t stop to check it out.
Levi walked up to a small barn and pulled out a key. Inside, his buddy used his phone as a light to find two flashlights. He handed over one and led the way into the gloom.
Heath followed Levi up a ladder and into a loft filled with bales of hay. Finally, Levi spoke. “Hay bales are useful for a lot of things. They don’t punch back, and you won’t break your hand. But they will leave marks, so be careful. You don’t want that girl seeing your hands all bruised up tomorrow.”
Levi walked over and kicked one of the bales. “I’ve taken my emotions out on bales more than once. Kicking them is good. Tossing them, too. You can pound the shit out of them. Just don’t fall off the loft.”
His buddy dug into his pocket. “Here’s my key to the farmhouse. I’ll get it back from you tomorrow. Your room’s upstairs at the front. Turn left at the top of the stairs and then left down the hallway. Last room.”
Then Levi climbed down the stairs. “The lights are solar powered and the charge will last a couple of hours, at least. I’ll leave this one down here so you don’t knock your ass off the edge.”
And then he was gone.
Heath looked around at the hay bales and kicked at the closest one. Then he kicked it again and again and again.
He let all the anger flow through his veins and attacked the bales with a vengeance. It wasn’t the same as pounding the shit out of the universe that had screwed him over, but it was close.
Z iigwan’s terror as she stepped into the forest for the very first time rippled through Addison. Zigi had known trees existed, of course. After all, she was well-versed in the stories of her elders and their elders.
But to be surrounded by them on all sides? Without a single screen or servebot in sight?
The shout behind her had Zigi running ahead despite the shadows and the thought of the things that could be hiding behind all that green and brown.
Her parents were dead. Murdered. She would be next if she didn’t find a place to hide. A place where she could solve the mystery and plot her revenge.
Addison jumped when a door slammed behind her, pulling her from Zigi’s world and back to her own.
“Hey, mom. I’m going to jump in the shower so I don’t smell like donkey. I’ll be quick.”
Another door closed as Addison blinked back to awareness. Her fingers twitched to get back to the keyboard, but she forced herself to stand before saving and backing up her work.
A look down had her groaning. She hadn’t showered yet, either. She was supposed to be ready to go in a few minutes, and she doubted Ginny would appreciate polar bear slippers and frog jammies in her diner.
Although knowing Ginny, she’d just laugh.
But Heath was coming to pick them up. And she wasn’t going to face him until she looked like an adult.
When Nina exited the bathroom a few minutes later, she laughed at Addy’s appearance. “I take it the book’s going well today? Hurry.”
Addison nodded and rushed through the shower. One day, she’d have time to relax in it, but not today. It wasn’t like the hot water was guaranteed, anyway. Even with the new heater, there were gremlins at work. She’d already had to reset it a few times.
Glad the gremlins were snoozing, she rushed through the shower and dashed into her room, trying to decide what to wear. It wasn’t a date. It wasn’t even about her. Lunch was an opportunity for Nina and Heath to get to know each other.
But she wasn’t going to look like a troll.
She patted herself on the back when she opted for jeans instead of leggings and bypassed her favorite hoody that would probably fit Heath himself. Although he might not appreciate wearing Miss Piggy and Kermit.
Addison pawed through her sweaters, looking for something that wouldn’t look like she was trying too hard, even though she was definitely trying too hard. She tried the light blue sweater, but that screamed too fancy for lunch. Finally, she closed her eyes and stuck her hand in the drawer.
The sweater she pulled out was a soft, heather green cardigan. With a cami beneath, it would be perfect. Something she’d worn in town many times so no one would think she was primping.
If she had time, she was totally going to primp. Last night, she’d looked closer to death than she liked. Today, looking alive was the first goal.
Addison rubbed her hair with a towel and then put it in a quick braid. She’d dry it later.
A knock on the door had her sighing. At least she was clean.
She moved to the kitchen and opened the door with a smile, and she even managed to keep it mostly in place when it wasn’t Heath.
Instead, Jonas Adamson, her closest neighbor, stood smiling at her.
“Hello, Addison. I noticed your car wasn’t in the driveway, and I saw Kimi drop off Nina.”
There wasn’t a question there, but Addison nodded. Jonas was a little awkward. The man was probably a decade older than she was, and he seemed to think that because her property had once belonged to his family, that he needed to check on her. Often.
But he was always pleasant, and she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Even if he made her a little uncomfortable at times, he’d never acted anything other than a helpful neighbor.
She’d rather be drying her hair than waiting for what Jonas had to say, but that would be rude.
Jonas nodded again. “I can drive you to get your car.”
“Thank you, but that’s not necessary. I’ve got a plan already in place.”
He tilted his head with a smile. “It’s not a problem. I’m happy to help.”
Addison maintained her smile. “Thank you, but it’s fine, Jonas. I’ve got everything under control.” Which would be a major miracle if it were true.
Heath’s car turned into the driveway, and she felt her heart rate pick up with anticipation. Apparently, the relief of knowing he hadn’t walked away from her without a regret had her body deciding she was ready to jump back into a relationship with him.
Her heart wasn’t sure that was a good idea, and she doubted he was even interested. But it had been a long time since her body had enjoyed thinking about kissing and sex. Heath’s arrival had brought it all back.
“I don’t recognize this man. Do you know him?” Joans moved so he blocked her from view, probably trying to protect her from an unwanted visitor. Which was ironic.
“It’s fine. He’s a friend of mine.”
Heath parked and climbed out of the car, grinning at her when she peeked around Jonas. She was relieved he was still excited about seeing Nina again.
“I’m Jonas Adamson. And you are?”
Heath’s eyebrows shot up as he turned to the other man. For a moment, she wondered how he was going to respond to the demand, but those manners asserted themselves. He held out a hand. “Heath Wilcox.”
“What are you doing here?” Jonas’s voice was laced with curiosity. Addison hadn’t realized the man was a gossip, but it surprised a laugh out of her. She patted Heath’s arm. “As I said, Heath’s an old friend of mine. Jonas Adamson, meet Heath Wilcox. Come on in, Heath. Thanks for checking on us, Jonas, but we’re all good. You don’t have to worry. I’ll see you later.”
Heath all but shoved her inside the door as Jonas moved back to his own car. “It’s freezing out there. You don’t have a jacket on, and your hair’s wet. Are you okay? Does that bother your lungs or your heart?”
She laughed again. “I’m fine. I’d only just answered the door when you drove in. Actually, I figured it was you at the door.”
He studied her face. “You’re sure you’re okay?”
“I’m sure. I’m not usually fragile. Yesterday was an exception.” In so many ways.
He grinned, and she smiled back. “Why did that guy want to stab me?”
Her eyebrows shot up. “What? That was just Jonas. He’s our neighbor. His family used to own this property, and he feels the need to make sure everything’s okay.”
Heath frowned. “I don’t think it’s the property he’s checking on.”
She laughed again. “Not a chance.”
Nina came into the kitchen smiling. “Hi.” There was a hesitation, and Addison realized they hadn’t had a conversation about what she should call him. They’d save that for later.
Heath smiled warmly at her daughter. His daughter. Their daughter. It was taking some time to get used to thinking in those terms.
“Hi, Nina. Did you have fun working at Kimi’s today?”
She grinned, obviously pleased he’d remembered. “I did. Although I groomed Snoops and smelled like donkey. But I showered so I wouldn’t stink up your car and the diner.”
Heath laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever smelled donkey before. Might have been interesting.”
Addison had worried it might be awkward, but she relaxed as Heath and Nina talked about her job working with the veterinarian.
When they’d bundled into their outerwear, he tucked Addy’s scarf up over her mouth and then opened the car doors for both her and Nina.
Her heart was in trouble again but for a very different reason this time.