18. Delivered
12:00 P.M. Cameron
Hey. Brandy said you were “moping”. U OK?
Me
Yes…
Cameron
Wanna talk?
Me
No Thnx
Cameron
I can get you a froyo or a smoothie to cheer you up
Me
…
Cameron
Does that mean “yes”? I’ll do it! I will!
Me
Don’t worry about it. I’m fine
12:26 P.M. Cameron
Knock Knock!
Me
What?
Cameron
Wow. OK Here I am tryna make you laugh…
Me
Ugh. Who’s there?
Cameron
Check your door and find out
Me
Don’t be creepy, Leary
Cameron
Just do it, LAINEY
Me
Ugh. Coming
Cameron
TMI
1:37 P.M. Brandy
Girly!!
Me
Whut?
Brandy
When are you gonna get off your butt and meet me in the library?
Me
The heck? You never said you were at the library
Brandy
I am. I have a paper and I need to find a book about some guy named Habranam Linkedin. At least that’s what I got from my professor’s chicken scratch
Me
R U JKing?
Brandy
Like I’d use the internet but she ordered us to use books for research. Threatened us with violence.
Brandy
Looking thru H, cannot find him :(
Me
That’s cuz it’s not Habranam it’s Abraham. As in Abraham Lincoln.
Brandy
O. This is why I need you!! Come ONNN
Me
I find it funny how you don’t care about what I’m dealing with
Brandy
I do. I just need your help :((
Me
Don’t care
Brandy
Luv u 2…
Me
Ask the librarian
Brandy
I don’t WANNAAA. PLS HELP
Me
brANDY I SWEAR
Brandy
U no wut? I’ll ask the hot guy next to me
1:42 P.M. Mikey
Hey, Lainey. This is Mikey. Are you okay?
Mikey
Sorry I haven’t checked in. Do you wanna hangout or talk?
Me
I can’t.
Mikey
Are you willing to talk via text?
Me
IDK. I’m not feeling great.
1:48 P.M. Me
Hey
Brandy
Hi
Me
OK so I’ve been thinking about the Mikey situation. How I felt after. Cameron. Regret.
Brandy
Go on
Me
I did what you suggested and I thought it was best to lose it so I could be prepared for someone I was in love with. It’s stupid. But all that runs through my veins is guilt and stress. The thing with my parents makes it all worse
Brandy
Was Mikey that bad?
Me
Not bad. Just not for me. I have no idea how to even talk to him now or what to do. And the only option really is to distance myself, but then I’m a bitch. And a ho. A ho bitch. A bitch ho.
Brandy
Did he initiate it?
Me
He just texted me. Everything is weird now
Brandy
Did U initiate?
Me
I guess. But after it happened it all felt off
1:50 P.M. Mikey
Just text?
Me
IDK
Mikey
Respectfully, Lainey. I’m not the one-night stand type. I got the impression you liked me when you suggested we get together. And you kissed me. If you wanted a one-night deal, you could have chosen someone else. Or let me know.
Me
Yeah I probably should have. I’m so sorry.
Mikey
Yeah. Me too, but I’m sure for different reasons.
1:52 P.M. Me
Fuck me. Mikey is texting me and making me feel even worse
Brandy
Well he does really like you
Me
I was so much better as a virgin
Brandy
Why do you wanna be a virgin?
Me
so I could save myself for someone I love idk. The lack of drama
Brandy
Cameron?
Me
At first I wanted to know more as to not look like a fool, but now I just feel like one. And I’m terrible for using Mikey.
Me
Why did I give in to peer pressure!?
Brandy
What peer pressure??
Me
YOU!
1:58 P.M. Me
That night. I drank a lot…I suppose too much fun. My first time wasn’t supposed to be a one-night stand.
Mikey
First time? It doesn’t have to be a ONS.
Me
Mikey…
Mikey
Whatever.
Me
I mean. Did you really feel content being sober and having sex with a whacked-out drunk girl?
Mikey
Not sober, just not wasted. What are you trying to say?
Me
Forgive me trying to understand the situation.
Mikey
That’s not what you’re doing. You had sex and regretted it, and you’re putting this all on me. I thought you were different.
Me
Different? Compared to what?
Mikey
Toxic.
2:10 P.M. Brandy
Is this really bothering you this much? I might have encouraged it, but ultimately you can do whatever you want.
Me
Brandy. I thought we were crossing items off with each other. Buddy system. You bailed and let me go on.
Brandy
IDK. I’m sorry. I just thought about it, and doing your brother felt off. Can you hold a grudge against a drunk girl who didn’t want to screw your brother?
Me
Yes.
2:15 P.M. Me
Sorry to bother you. But I’ve been freaking out about personal things. Can you distract me?
Cameron
I’m at a friend’s room with some buddies. Not doing anything suspicious, but Dom has been in the shower for nearly 45 mins.
Me
It’s Dom’s room?
Cameron
Yes
Me
Isn’t that what guys do? Take long showers and jerk off?
Cameron
Excuse me?? Not I. I clean myself, and I hop out. I don’t jerk off in there or anything, and I don’t pee like you girls do.
Me
I do not PEE in the shower
Cameron
Sure OK ;) I totally get it. Two birds, but ew
Me
I do not PEEEEEEE in the shower!
Cameron
Ofc. *wink wink
Me
If I piss in the shower, you jerk off in the shower
Cameron
Touché
Me
Seriously I got a question.
Cameron
Go on then. While I’m still young and beautiful
Me
Am I a toxic person?
Cameron
LMAO
Me
??
Cameron
You are the LEAST toxic person on the planet. No drama. Not a spiteful bone in your body. Innocent. Untarnished
Me
thnx but not innocent
Cameron
OH? Well excuse ME
Cameron
Deepest apologies.
4:34 P.M. Me
Hey Dad.
Me
You there?
10:52 P.M. Me
OK. Goodnight.
Me
Love you.
Dad
Sleep well, Lainey.