19. Marcus
19
MARCUS
T he ride home from the police station was the most distant I’d ever been from my brother. I appreciated him picking me up and leaving my mom at home, but all I could think about was Caleb, and I didn’t want to talk to him about it because he wouldn’t understand. The weight of the day pressed down on me, making the silence in the car almost palpable.
"How much was bail?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"Nothing. A couple of eyewitnesses came forward and said that you were defending yourself," Brandon replied, his eyes focused on the road.
A sigh of relief escaped my lips. "Well, that’s the best news I’ve had all day," I admitted, frustration still evident in my voice.
Brandon glanced at me, his expression serious. "Look, Marcus, I know you’re worried about more than just the fight. How’s school handling all this?"
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I don’t know. I haven’t heard from them yet. I’m worried about what Coach will say. My football career was supposed to be my way out, my ticket to a better life. If the school finds out, it could all be over."
Brandon nodded understandingly. "Yeah, I get that. But listen, you’ve got to prove yourself in the upcoming championship game. Show them that you’re still dedicated, that you’re worth keeping on the team."
A glimmer of hope sparked within me. "Really? They will give me a second chance?"
"Yeah," Brandon said. "But it’s all on you. If you perform well, this whole thing will blow over. It’s already been proven that it was self-defense, so just focus on your game and don’t mess up again."
"Thanks, Brandon," I said, feeling a mix of relief and determination. "I won’t let you down. Can you drop me off at Kim’s? I just can’t deal with Mom now."
Brandon hesitated. "She will be pissed if you don’t come home."
"I know, but I just can’t handle all her rules. She treats me like I’m eleven. I can’t even have fucking company, and I’m tired of all the religious talk. I just wish she would relax and let me be a fucking teenager."
Brandon nodded sympathetically. "Trust me; I know it’s tough. That’s why I moved out and got my own place. If you need to get away, visit me on the weekends. I’ll pick you up, or you can take a train to me."
"I’m taking you up on that offer. Thank you for always being there for me," I said, grateful for his support.
For the rest of the ride, we didn’t speak. That’s one thing I appreciated about my brother. He knew when to shut up. He said what he needed to say and backed off.
I just stared out the window, lost in thought about the trajectory of my life. It seemed like not being who I truly was made others feel better, but deep inside, it hurt me. It was times like these that I wished life came with a manual, a guidebook to navigate the complexities of existence.
It’s the reason I loved Caleb. He didn’t care what other people thought. He was much stronger than I’d ever been, and I felt whole with him. We hadn’t known each other long, but it felt like he was my soul mate. It was morning, and the sun’s rays were helping to evaporate the morning chill that we frequently got during late October and early November. It reminded me that I got a new start every day.
I knew Kim wasn’t a morning person, but I’d been there for her in times of need, so she had to be there for me. I pulled out my phone and texted her.
Marcus: I’m coming over; I need a break. Be there in fifteen .
Kim: Okay, I hope you’re hungry. I cooked too much food.
Marcus: Starving… Thanks.
Brandon pulled up to Kim’s apartment complex and parked his car in the circle driveway. "You need me to bring you a pair of clothes or something?"
"Naw, I keep a bag over here?"
"Are you and Kim smashing or something?"
"Bro, absolutely not. You sound like Mom. One day, we will discuss why that won’t work, but not today."
"I’ll be at moms; are you coming home soon?"
"I don’t know when I will be back,” I said.
"Hope I see you tomorrow bro," he said. We completed our departure with a brotherly handshake and hug, and I headed to Kim’s door. Before I could ring the doorbell, the door opened, and Dante, my teammate, was coming out of the house, pulling his pants up.
Dante had the biggest dick I’d ever seen, but wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Rumor was he had an OnlyFans where he fucked girls with a doggy mask on. He got chicks just because all the girls and even some guys wanted to play with his dick, but I would not be the bearer of bad news for Kim without proof.
"Damn Kim, you’re fucking my teammate too?" Dante asked.
"Dante, it’s not even like that. I’m the one that gave you her number, bro, remember? Kim is like a sister to me."
"Oh Yeah," he said.
"Yeah, trust me, he’s not my type. He’s too pretty," Kim said.
"So, are you saying I’m ugly?"
"I’m saying he’s Tyler Lepley, and you’re Michael B Jordan."
He paused for a moment.
"Okay, I fucks with Michael B. Jordan cause he ain’t afraid to beat some ass like me."
"See you at practice, little Ealy," Dante said as he blew Kim a kiss and headed to his car.
"Really, Kim?"
"You only gave me like a 15-minute warning. You’re lucky I got my orgasm, or you would have had to wait."
"Remember, I have a key."
"Keys don’t work when you have a chain on the door."
"That doesn’t work either. I think I saw a way to take the chain off the door on TikTok,” I said.
"And that’s why I had my parents sign a consent form for me to have a gun. So, a sister is ready."
"Remind me not to make you mad." I hadn’t been to her place in a while. She had decorated, and the orange and purple color combinations made it a cozier and more welcoming environment than the last time I was here.
When I first visited, she had just moved in and didn’t have furniture, but now it looked like a home. The abstract art on the walls and the fresh flowers on the dining room table coupled with the smell of glade plugins and bacon, got me and my stomach excited about moving into my own space.
"So, I got a glimpse of Caleb at the theatre yesterday. He’s cute. I can see why you like him. He’s definitely your type."
"Wait, did you see the fight?"
"Who do you think called the police station and said it was self-defense?"
"That was you?"
"Yep, me and my co-workers called and gave statements. My bestie is too cute to be in jail," she said as she pinched my cheeks.
"Wait, how did you know I was in jail?"
"Your brother face-timed me and gave me the information. He’s gotten more muscular and sexier. I love the facial hair."
"Kim, please stay away from my brother. It would just make things weird."
"I’m not making any promises. You know I love chocolate." I ignored her comment because I knew she was just saying this to annoy me.
"Thank you, Kim, for having my back." I hugged her tightly, but she pushed me off her.
"Have you called him?" Kim asked.
"I think he changed his number."
"Do you need to use my phone?"
"Naw, I’ll talk to him at school tomorrow. I think we need to talk in person."
"That’s smart. You in love with him?"
"I think I am."
"Then you know what you must do. It will be scary, but it may be time to come out of the closet and be your authentic self. The people who love you will not care, and the ones that don’t. Fuck them." Kim was right. I was at a crossroads and had a challenging but pivotal decision to make.
Kim gestured for me to sit down at the dining table, which was already set with a plate of food that looked like it could feed a small army. "Here, eat up. You need your strength."
I took a seat and began to dig into the food. The smell of bacon and eggs filled the air, and the first bite was heavenly. Kim always knew how to make me feel better, whether it was with her words or her cooking.
"You know, I’ve been thinking about what you said about coming out and I think it’s time," I said between bites. "It’s not just about me. It’s about Caleb too. I don’t want to put him in a position where he has to hide who he is because of me."
Kim nodded, taking a sip of her coffee. "That’s true. But you also have to think about yourself. You can’t live your life for other people. You have to do what makes you happy."
I sighed, pushing my plate away. "I know. It’s just hard. I’ve been hiding this part of myself for so long, it’s like I don’t know how to be anything else."
Kim reached across the table and took my hand. "You don’t have to do this alone, Marcus. You have me, and you have Caleb. We’ll be there for you every step of the way."
I smiled at her, grateful for her support. "Thanks, Kim. I don’t know what I’d do without you."
She grinned back at me. "Probably starve. Now finish your food before it gets cold."
I laughed and continued to eat, feeling a little lighter than I had before. Kim always had a way of making me feel better, no matter what the situation was.
After breakfast, we moved to the living room, where Kim turned on the TV and put on a movie. I wasn’t really paying attention to what was on the screen, my mind still consumed with thoughts of Caleb and the future. She continued to watch the movie, but my mind was elsewhere. I was thinking about the future, about what it would be like to live on my own, to be with Caleb openly, to not have to hide who I was anymore. It was a scary thought, but also an exciting one.
As the day wore on, I found myself growing more and more determined. I was going to talk to Caleb tomorrow, and I was going to tell him how I felt. I was going to come to the world, and I was going to start living my life on my own terms.
It wasn’t going to be easy, but nothing worth having ever was. And I knew that with Kim and Caleb by my side, I could face anything.
Later that evening, after Kim had gone to bed, I found myself lying awake, staring up at the ceiling. I couldn’t stop thinking about Caleb, about the future, about what it would be like to finally be free.
I knew that tomorrow was going to be a big day, a day that would change everything. But I was ready for it. I was ready to take that step, to be brave, to be true to myself.
As I drifted off to sleep, I knew that no matter what happened, no matter what challenges lay ahead, I was ready to face them head-on. With Caleb by my side, I could do anything.